Take a Bow
Page 34
“Carter, it’s been a long day.” I grab his hand. “Let’s just —”
He pulls away from me. “I don’t know who you are anymore, Sophie. You used to be so kind and considerate, and now you’ve just gone too far. It was becoming pretty clear to me that you were using me — you aren’t the first and you probably won’t be the last. But Emme? How can you do that to her? You know she looks up to you and has absolutely no idea how manipulative you are.”
I stand up. “Why is it always about her? Huh? Why do you care about Emme? What, do you want to date her now, too? Well, you’re going to need to get in line.”
“I’m not interested in Emme that way. She’s the first person who listened to me and tried to help me, plain old Carter. All you want is your name and photo with Carter Harrison. And I’m not going to play that role any longer. I’m tired by it. I’m tired by your games. I used to think you were special, Sophie, I really did. But now I see the real you and can’t believe I put up with it for so long.”
I can’t believe he’s breaking up with me. That he’s doing it now. Before the showcase. Before I’m a star.
“Please, Carter, I’m so sorry. You can’t do this to me….”
He gets up. “Good luck with everything, Sophie. I know how much being a star means to you. I just hope you don’t ruin too many friendships while you claw your way to the top.”
He walks away and I feel deflated.
Why is everything falling apart for me?
How could Carter just break up with me like that?
Like I meant nothing to him. Like I’m nobody.
I’m not just anybody. I am special.
I won Brooklyn’s Most Talented Kid five years straight.
I’ve beaten Emme anytime we’ve had to compete together.
I got a standing ovation during my rendition of “Send in the Clowns.”
Okay, so I’ve made some mistakes. But if there is one thing I know, it’s how to get back on top. I can’t let everything come crumbling apart because of one little misunderstanding.
Step One: damage control. I pick up my phone and place a call.
“Gossip Guru, this is Stacy.”
“Hey, Stacy, it’s Sophie Jenkins … Carter Harrison’s girlfriend.”
There’s a slight pause. “Oh, hey, Sophie, you guys going out tonight? Would love to get some photographers there.”
“No, but I do have a story for you.”
I tell Stacy about Carter breaking up with me on the steps of the school (complete with tears) and make sure I give her my name four times.
Step Two: I’ve got some cupcakes to buy.
Mrs. Connelly is happy to see me as she opens the door to their brownstone. So everything seems normal as I walk into Emme’s room. She’s lying on her bed, writing out some math problems.
“Emme?” I say softly.
“Oh, hey, Sophie, I wasn’t …”
I open up a box of cupcakes.
“You didn’t need to …”
She looks at the cupcakes and I can slowly see the wheels turning in her mind.
“Em, I need to talk to you.” I sit on her bed. I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me lately. I feel lost. And I haven’t wanted to burden you with anything because you’ve been so busy, but I really need you to know something.”
Her eyes are wide as she pats the place next to her for me to sit.
“I don’t think I’ve been a very good friend.” She doesn’t say anything. “Things haven’t been going as I planned at CPA. You know that. I don’t know why I’ve had such a hard time. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I’d stayed in Brooklyn.” Tears, real tears, sting the corner of my eyes. “But the one thing that I’m glad of, that I’m proud about, is that you went to CPA. It’s been amazing to see you grow and shine. I know that I’ve been so focused on me, and I think you need to know how much your friendship means to me. Not just now, but since we were kids. I remember first seeing you onstage and knowing that I had to meet this insane pianist … at eight!
“I know you have a lot going on … and I hope that you know you can come to me if you ever need anything. And I don’t want us to hang out just when we’re rehearsing. You’re my friend, my best friend. I miss us just hanging out. And I really feel like you need to know that I’m there for you. No matter what.”
“Oh, Sophie.” Emme reaches over and gives me a hug.
I finally break down and sob. She holds me and doesn’t say anything.
It makes me cry even harder. I can’t make myself stop. Because this pain I feel, this hopelessness over my future, is real.
Everything I ever wanted is slipping from my fingertips. My life has started spiraling out of control, and for the first time, I don’t know what to do to stop it.
I thought I knew exactly how to become a star. But maybe I don’t know anything.
And I hate myself for it.
I can’t help but laugh at the headline.
ME: Read it again!
Mom shakes her head and picks up the paper.
MOM: “Carter Harrison: Heartbreaker.”
ME: That’s genius. Gossip Guru really is in line for a Pulitzer this year.
I cross my fingers, and Mom throws the paper down.
I pick it up and start reading about me. It’s funny because even though it’s my name and a picture of me from some event a few months ago, it feels like it’s about someone else. My favorite line: “So be on the lookout, single New York gals. There’s another hot bachelor on the loose who has a leading-lady role to fill.”
He pulls away from me. “I don’t know who you are anymore, Sophie. You used to be so kind and considerate, and now you’ve just gone too far. It was becoming pretty clear to me that you were using me — you aren’t the first and you probably won’t be the last. But Emme? How can you do that to her? You know she looks up to you and has absolutely no idea how manipulative you are.”
I stand up. “Why is it always about her? Huh? Why do you care about Emme? What, do you want to date her now, too? Well, you’re going to need to get in line.”
“I’m not interested in Emme that way. She’s the first person who listened to me and tried to help me, plain old Carter. All you want is your name and photo with Carter Harrison. And I’m not going to play that role any longer. I’m tired by it. I’m tired by your games. I used to think you were special, Sophie, I really did. But now I see the real you and can’t believe I put up with it for so long.”
I can’t believe he’s breaking up with me. That he’s doing it now. Before the showcase. Before I’m a star.
“Please, Carter, I’m so sorry. You can’t do this to me….”
He gets up. “Good luck with everything, Sophie. I know how much being a star means to you. I just hope you don’t ruin too many friendships while you claw your way to the top.”
He walks away and I feel deflated.
Why is everything falling apart for me?
How could Carter just break up with me like that?
Like I meant nothing to him. Like I’m nobody.
I’m not just anybody. I am special.
I won Brooklyn’s Most Talented Kid five years straight.
I’ve beaten Emme anytime we’ve had to compete together.
I got a standing ovation during my rendition of “Send in the Clowns.”
Okay, so I’ve made some mistakes. But if there is one thing I know, it’s how to get back on top. I can’t let everything come crumbling apart because of one little misunderstanding.
Step One: damage control. I pick up my phone and place a call.
“Gossip Guru, this is Stacy.”
“Hey, Stacy, it’s Sophie Jenkins … Carter Harrison’s girlfriend.”
There’s a slight pause. “Oh, hey, Sophie, you guys going out tonight? Would love to get some photographers there.”
“No, but I do have a story for you.”
I tell Stacy about Carter breaking up with me on the steps of the school (complete with tears) and make sure I give her my name four times.
Step Two: I’ve got some cupcakes to buy.
Mrs. Connelly is happy to see me as she opens the door to their brownstone. So everything seems normal as I walk into Emme’s room. She’s lying on her bed, writing out some math problems.
“Emme?” I say softly.
“Oh, hey, Sophie, I wasn’t …”
I open up a box of cupcakes.
“You didn’t need to …”
She looks at the cupcakes and I can slowly see the wheels turning in her mind.
“Em, I need to talk to you.” I sit on her bed. I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me lately. I feel lost. And I haven’t wanted to burden you with anything because you’ve been so busy, but I really need you to know something.”
Her eyes are wide as she pats the place next to her for me to sit.
“I don’t think I’ve been a very good friend.” She doesn’t say anything. “Things haven’t been going as I planned at CPA. You know that. I don’t know why I’ve had such a hard time. Sometimes I think it would have been better if I’d stayed in Brooklyn.” Tears, real tears, sting the corner of my eyes. “But the one thing that I’m glad of, that I’m proud about, is that you went to CPA. It’s been amazing to see you grow and shine. I know that I’ve been so focused on me, and I think you need to know how much your friendship means to me. Not just now, but since we were kids. I remember first seeing you onstage and knowing that I had to meet this insane pianist … at eight!
“I know you have a lot going on … and I hope that you know you can come to me if you ever need anything. And I don’t want us to hang out just when we’re rehearsing. You’re my friend, my best friend. I miss us just hanging out. And I really feel like you need to know that I’m there for you. No matter what.”
“Oh, Sophie.” Emme reaches over and gives me a hug.
I finally break down and sob. She holds me and doesn’t say anything.
It makes me cry even harder. I can’t make myself stop. Because this pain I feel, this hopelessness over my future, is real.
Everything I ever wanted is slipping from my fingertips. My life has started spiraling out of control, and for the first time, I don’t know what to do to stop it.
I thought I knew exactly how to become a star. But maybe I don’t know anything.
And I hate myself for it.
I can’t help but laugh at the headline.
ME: Read it again!
Mom shakes her head and picks up the paper.
MOM: “Carter Harrison: Heartbreaker.”
ME: That’s genius. Gossip Guru really is in line for a Pulitzer this year.
I cross my fingers, and Mom throws the paper down.
I pick it up and start reading about me. It’s funny because even though it’s my name and a picture of me from some event a few months ago, it feels like it’s about someone else. My favorite line: “So be on the lookout, single New York gals. There’s another hot bachelor on the loose who has a leading-lady role to fill.”
