Taking Chances
Page 93
He thought for a second before responding, “I'm afraid I'm going to move too fast for you. You were with Chase and planning a future and family with him up until the accident. All I've been able to think about is you, I knew there wouldn't ever be anyone else. Over the last couple months, I tried to only be your friend, and I would have stayed that way if you asked me to. That didn't stop me from thinking of everything I would do if I ever got you back though. But now that I have you again, the only thing the time away from you did, was make me want you more. So now I'm right back to where I was before we broke up, wanting nothing more than to buy a house with you and marry you. But I don't know when it would be okay to do any of that because of what happened. And I know what you said about raising him with you, but I don't know if that's all you actually want me to do when it comes to him, just be the guy that helps you raise him. I want to be the dad that raises him, his dad. I just don't know if that's okay with you or if you think I'll be trying to take Chase's place.”
“Brandon,” I frowned a little, with what we'd been talking about earlier, I thought we were on the same page. Apparently not. “okay let's clear this all up, so there's no more confusion. Considering everything we had before, I think we are way beyond worrying about moving too fast. I want to marry you, more than anything. But I don't care when that happens, it can happen tomorrow or it can happen two years from now. I had tried to explain it to Chase, but I don't think he actually understood that I didn't need to be married just because I was having a baby. With Chase though, I hadn't been planning a future with him until after he found out about the baby, I had already known way before that, that I wanted to marry you.
“I'll admit I was worried just being with you would be moving too fast after the accident for other people, but with the way I feel, and after talking to Mom, Bree and Konrad, I don't think we are. Mom was right, our situation is completely different, and it doesn't matter what other people think. This is our life together, not theirs.” I laid down on my back, and put a hand over my eyes to shield the sun, “Answer me something before I continue. Being his dad, you really want that?”
He turned onto his side, his face hovering over mine, “I do.”
“Good.” I smiled and wrapped a hand around his neck, “I don't want you to just be the guy that raises him. What you said this morning, was more than perfect. I want you to be his dad, I want him to be your son. I want you to be my husband and if we have more kids later on in life, I don't want them to be our kids, and him” I pointed to my stomach, “be my kid. I agree he needs to know about Chase, but you're going to be Dad to him, and he's going to be ours. Just like any other child we have.
“I want you to be at the rest of the appointments if you want to, and don't worry, Dr. Lowdry already knows about you. She pulled me aside during my second appointment and asked about the father, I ended up breaking down and telling her the whole story. I swear those Doctors are trained to be therapists too. She knows that Chase died, and she knows you've been there for me. Honestly, she's like Bree and Mom, I doubt she'll be surprised to see you there. So if you want to be there, then I would love for you to come with me. I want you to help me name him, and if it's okay, I want you in the room with me when I deliver. I'm telling you, I'm not going to pick and choose what you can and can't do, I want you there for everything. I’ve wanted you there for everything, but I’ve been denying myself of what I want and pushing my emotions away. Now that we’re done pretending, I’m ready for it all, but you need to tell me if you're uncomfortable with any of this.”
“If you were any other girl, I would be. But you're my world Harper, no matter how strange our situation may be, being with you and starting a family with you feels right.”
“I completely agree.” I whispered against his neck and pressed my lips there twice. “Are we all clear now? Anything else we need to cover?”
“Will you move in with me, let me take care of you and marry me?”
“Are you proposing Brandon Taylor?” I teased, looking up into his brown eyes.
He smiled and caught my lips with his, “Not until I have a ring for you sweetheart.”
“Good because that would have been a horrible proposal. And in the words of the man I love, yes to all of the above.”
15
Brandon and I had found a townhouse that weekend and were moving in tomorrow. It was a three bedroom, two and a half bath, two car garage with a backyard and it was perfect. It was less than ten minutes away from Mom and Dad's, and even though they were sad I wouldn't be living with them, they were really happy that Brandon and I were moving on with our lives. Mom said she was going to set up another nursery in the room anyway so she could babysit and to insure we would still come over often. Yesterday we had finished picking out and buying everything we needed to furnish our new place, and the things that weren't already stored in Mom and Dad's garage were being delivered tomorrow morning. We were currently starting the ultrasound at my first appointment with Brandon since he and I had gotten back together. As suspected, Dr. Lowdry wasn't surprised to see Brandon, and was genuinely happy he was there with me.
Brandon's breath caught and he squeezed my hand as soon as Gummy Bear's heartbeat filled the room and he was on the screen. “Oh my God, Harper.”
I smiled at him and looked back to the screen. Going through this right now was completely different than it had been with Chase. It had been almost magical with Chase, emotional since he died, and felt like a perfect new beginning with Brandon.
“Brandon,” I frowned a little, with what we'd been talking about earlier, I thought we were on the same page. Apparently not. “okay let's clear this all up, so there's no more confusion. Considering everything we had before, I think we are way beyond worrying about moving too fast. I want to marry you, more than anything. But I don't care when that happens, it can happen tomorrow or it can happen two years from now. I had tried to explain it to Chase, but I don't think he actually understood that I didn't need to be married just because I was having a baby. With Chase though, I hadn't been planning a future with him until after he found out about the baby, I had already known way before that, that I wanted to marry you.
“I'll admit I was worried just being with you would be moving too fast after the accident for other people, but with the way I feel, and after talking to Mom, Bree and Konrad, I don't think we are. Mom was right, our situation is completely different, and it doesn't matter what other people think. This is our life together, not theirs.” I laid down on my back, and put a hand over my eyes to shield the sun, “Answer me something before I continue. Being his dad, you really want that?”
He turned onto his side, his face hovering over mine, “I do.”
“Good.” I smiled and wrapped a hand around his neck, “I don't want you to just be the guy that raises him. What you said this morning, was more than perfect. I want you to be his dad, I want him to be your son. I want you to be my husband and if we have more kids later on in life, I don't want them to be our kids, and him” I pointed to my stomach, “be my kid. I agree he needs to know about Chase, but you're going to be Dad to him, and he's going to be ours. Just like any other child we have.
“I want you to be at the rest of the appointments if you want to, and don't worry, Dr. Lowdry already knows about you. She pulled me aside during my second appointment and asked about the father, I ended up breaking down and telling her the whole story. I swear those Doctors are trained to be therapists too. She knows that Chase died, and she knows you've been there for me. Honestly, she's like Bree and Mom, I doubt she'll be surprised to see you there. So if you want to be there, then I would love for you to come with me. I want you to help me name him, and if it's okay, I want you in the room with me when I deliver. I'm telling you, I'm not going to pick and choose what you can and can't do, I want you there for everything. I’ve wanted you there for everything, but I’ve been denying myself of what I want and pushing my emotions away. Now that we’re done pretending, I’m ready for it all, but you need to tell me if you're uncomfortable with any of this.”
“If you were any other girl, I would be. But you're my world Harper, no matter how strange our situation may be, being with you and starting a family with you feels right.”
“I completely agree.” I whispered against his neck and pressed my lips there twice. “Are we all clear now? Anything else we need to cover?”
“Will you move in with me, let me take care of you and marry me?”
“Are you proposing Brandon Taylor?” I teased, looking up into his brown eyes.
He smiled and caught my lips with his, “Not until I have a ring for you sweetheart.”
“Good because that would have been a horrible proposal. And in the words of the man I love, yes to all of the above.”
15
Brandon and I had found a townhouse that weekend and were moving in tomorrow. It was a three bedroom, two and a half bath, two car garage with a backyard and it was perfect. It was less than ten minutes away from Mom and Dad's, and even though they were sad I wouldn't be living with them, they were really happy that Brandon and I were moving on with our lives. Mom said she was going to set up another nursery in the room anyway so she could babysit and to insure we would still come over often. Yesterday we had finished picking out and buying everything we needed to furnish our new place, and the things that weren't already stored in Mom and Dad's garage were being delivered tomorrow morning. We were currently starting the ultrasound at my first appointment with Brandon since he and I had gotten back together. As suspected, Dr. Lowdry wasn't surprised to see Brandon, and was genuinely happy he was there with me.
Brandon's breath caught and he squeezed my hand as soon as Gummy Bear's heartbeat filled the room and he was on the screen. “Oh my God, Harper.”
I smiled at him and looked back to the screen. Going through this right now was completely different than it had been with Chase. It had been almost magical with Chase, emotional since he died, and felt like a perfect new beginning with Brandon.
