The Best Goodbye
Page 39
Addy let out a sigh and nodded. She kept her expression neutral. The only thing that gave anything away was her eyes. They were unsure. That much I knew. I wouldn’t lead her on. I couldn’t do that to her or our daughter. What we needed was a friendship. That was something I could give her. I’d keep the dirt on my hands off her.
“I want to be in Franny’s life. She’s perfect. I thought she was all you, but she’s just your look-alike. She has me in her as well, and seeing that is the most precious gift I’ve ever been given. You were the only family that mattered in my life for so long. Now you’ve given me someone who’s a part of me. Someone I can love unconditionally.”
Addy’s eyes filled with unshed tears, and she sniffed and nodded her head. “OK. Yeah. I want you in her life, too. She wants you there. She’s already telling everyone at school her father is the biggest, strongest man on earth.” She blinked back the tears. “Our past will come up sometimes. It’s impossible for it not to. Emotions will get tangled, and I don’t think we can stop that from happening. But I want Franny to have you in her life. I want her to have what we didn’t.”
Addy had already given her that, but I understood what she meant. I wanted that, too. I just had to protect Addy from me while giving them both what they needed.
Addy
Things at work went smoothly with Captain after he came over. I tried not to wish for more. Every time he smiled at me or made a joke, watching me to see if I’d laugh, my heart melted a little more. I knew that guy. River was beginning to show through, and every time he did, I fell just a little more.
Brad had taken a major step back, and I was actually relieved. I didn’t want to feel like I had to be careful around Brad if he flirted with me. Captain had said he wouldn’t do it again, but I simply didn’t like the idea of Captain having a hard time watching Brad and me together. Maybe that was a weak-woman thing, and maybe I should be stronger. Make him suffer. But I didn’t play games. I wasn’t going to start now.
I wasn’t interested in Brad romantically, so using him to get to Captain was wrong. Luckily, Brad had taken Captain’s hint and backed off completely. Now he simply nodded when he saw me. I rarely even got a smile.
When that didn’t sting, I knew that Brad had just been filling the emptiness I’d lived with for ten years. He deserved better than to be the filler guy. He was a great guy. Just not the one I wanted.
Tonight was our dinner night with Captain. Franny had been bouncing off the walls since she’d gotten home from school. She had asked me three times if her sundress was pretty. It was her favorite sundress, and seeing her so eager to please Captain made me smile.
“Come here,” I told her, drying off my hands after washing up the rest of the dishes from this morning.
She walked over to me, looking up at me with eyes so much like my own.
“Your father thinks you’re the most beautiful, perfect little girl he’s ever seen. He’s proud of you. He’ll love this dress, but he would also love the denim shorts and T-shirt you were wearing earlier. He doesn’t care what you wear. His love is not something you have to earn. He loved you the moment he found out you were his. It’s the way a good parent is. We love unconditionally, because we can’t help it. You’re ours.”
Franny let out a sigh and smiled, looking like I had just taken a huge burden off her shoulders. “OK,” she whispered. “That’s good. Because I don’t want him to leave.”
That kind of fear was something I never wanted her to deal with. I was going to talk to Captain about it. I had been honest with her about not being able to control what happened with Captain. He could still leave Rosemary Beach, but I hoped he wouldn’t. He needed to know Franny was struggling with it. Only Captain could ease her mind about this. Not me. She knew I’d always be here. We were a team. Captain hadn’t made the team yet. She didn’t trust him in that way. He had to earn that.
“Let’s enjoy tonight. You’ll have his complete attention,” I told her, avoiding the rest of her comment.
Franny gave me a crooked grin that was her father’s. I didn’t point that out to her. “Not all of his attention,” she said, then turned and flounced into the living room.
I didn’t ask her what that meant. Her thoughts bounced all over the place.
“He’s here!” she squealed, just as the tires from his truck crunched over the shell driveway. “He’s early!” she added, running to the door.
He was ten minutes early. That would mean a lot to Franny. I waited where I was and let her open the door and greet him.
Captain’s eyes immediately dropped to her as she swung the door open when he hit the top step.
“Hey,” she said, in her bubbly tone that meant all was right with her world. Thanks to him.
Captain grinned, and the corners of his eyes crinkled, which was new for me. They were marks of a man. A man who had smiled over the years. He’d had reasons to smile. I was thankful for that. I didn’t want to think of him as unhappy.
“Aren’t you a pretty picture?” he said, and I seriously could have kissed him right then. He’d said exactly what she needed to hear. I also wanted to kiss him because, in that button-up blue shirt and faded jeans, he was a bit overwhelming. A man shouldn’t be that beautiful. It wasn’t fair.
“It’s my favorite dress,” she told him, and spun in a circle to show him how it flared a little at the bottom.
“I want to be in Franny’s life. She’s perfect. I thought she was all you, but she’s just your look-alike. She has me in her as well, and seeing that is the most precious gift I’ve ever been given. You were the only family that mattered in my life for so long. Now you’ve given me someone who’s a part of me. Someone I can love unconditionally.”
Addy’s eyes filled with unshed tears, and she sniffed and nodded her head. “OK. Yeah. I want you in her life, too. She wants you there. She’s already telling everyone at school her father is the biggest, strongest man on earth.” She blinked back the tears. “Our past will come up sometimes. It’s impossible for it not to. Emotions will get tangled, and I don’t think we can stop that from happening. But I want Franny to have you in her life. I want her to have what we didn’t.”
Addy had already given her that, but I understood what she meant. I wanted that, too. I just had to protect Addy from me while giving them both what they needed.
Addy
Things at work went smoothly with Captain after he came over. I tried not to wish for more. Every time he smiled at me or made a joke, watching me to see if I’d laugh, my heart melted a little more. I knew that guy. River was beginning to show through, and every time he did, I fell just a little more.
Brad had taken a major step back, and I was actually relieved. I didn’t want to feel like I had to be careful around Brad if he flirted with me. Captain had said he wouldn’t do it again, but I simply didn’t like the idea of Captain having a hard time watching Brad and me together. Maybe that was a weak-woman thing, and maybe I should be stronger. Make him suffer. But I didn’t play games. I wasn’t going to start now.
I wasn’t interested in Brad romantically, so using him to get to Captain was wrong. Luckily, Brad had taken Captain’s hint and backed off completely. Now he simply nodded when he saw me. I rarely even got a smile.
When that didn’t sting, I knew that Brad had just been filling the emptiness I’d lived with for ten years. He deserved better than to be the filler guy. He was a great guy. Just not the one I wanted.
Tonight was our dinner night with Captain. Franny had been bouncing off the walls since she’d gotten home from school. She had asked me three times if her sundress was pretty. It was her favorite sundress, and seeing her so eager to please Captain made me smile.
“Come here,” I told her, drying off my hands after washing up the rest of the dishes from this morning.
She walked over to me, looking up at me with eyes so much like my own.
“Your father thinks you’re the most beautiful, perfect little girl he’s ever seen. He’s proud of you. He’ll love this dress, but he would also love the denim shorts and T-shirt you were wearing earlier. He doesn’t care what you wear. His love is not something you have to earn. He loved you the moment he found out you were his. It’s the way a good parent is. We love unconditionally, because we can’t help it. You’re ours.”
Franny let out a sigh and smiled, looking like I had just taken a huge burden off her shoulders. “OK,” she whispered. “That’s good. Because I don’t want him to leave.”
That kind of fear was something I never wanted her to deal with. I was going to talk to Captain about it. I had been honest with her about not being able to control what happened with Captain. He could still leave Rosemary Beach, but I hoped he wouldn’t. He needed to know Franny was struggling with it. Only Captain could ease her mind about this. Not me. She knew I’d always be here. We were a team. Captain hadn’t made the team yet. She didn’t trust him in that way. He had to earn that.
“Let’s enjoy tonight. You’ll have his complete attention,” I told her, avoiding the rest of her comment.
Franny gave me a crooked grin that was her father’s. I didn’t point that out to her. “Not all of his attention,” she said, then turned and flounced into the living room.
I didn’t ask her what that meant. Her thoughts bounced all over the place.
“He’s here!” she squealed, just as the tires from his truck crunched over the shell driveway. “He’s early!” she added, running to the door.
He was ten minutes early. That would mean a lot to Franny. I waited where I was and let her open the door and greet him.
Captain’s eyes immediately dropped to her as she swung the door open when he hit the top step.
“Hey,” she said, in her bubbly tone that meant all was right with her world. Thanks to him.
Captain grinned, and the corners of his eyes crinkled, which was new for me. They were marks of a man. A man who had smiled over the years. He’d had reasons to smile. I was thankful for that. I didn’t want to think of him as unhappy.
“Aren’t you a pretty picture?” he said, and I seriously could have kissed him right then. He’d said exactly what she needed to hear. I also wanted to kiss him because, in that button-up blue shirt and faded jeans, he was a bit overwhelming. A man shouldn’t be that beautiful. It wasn’t fair.
“It’s my favorite dress,” she told him, and spun in a circle to show him how it flared a little at the bottom.
