The Best Kind of Trouble
Page 37
“Yes. But between you and me, she was pregnant with Ezra when we got married.” His dad laughed at that. “We didn’t know for another few weeks, but I’d have married her a week after that kiss if she’d have let me. I never expected her, but I knew once I had her that she was it. Your brother was the same way with Mary. Hurley men know what they want and we rarely fail at getting it. Seems to me, Paddy, if you fail with Natalie, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough. Don’t give up on her if you want her.”
* * *
SO HE FOUND himself waiting outside the library at her quitting time the next day, holding two dozen roses of all different colors and a bag of takeout.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, glancing at the screen. Natalie.
He answered. “Hey.”
“So I’ve been thinking.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry about that scene at the winery. Will you talk to me?”
“I’m calling you, aren’t I? I was calling to see if you wanted to talk to me, too.”
She came out, and he knew he’d done the right thing because seeing her made him so damned happy, it wasn’t even funny.
She headed down the steps and was halfway to him before she noticed him standing there and froze.
She put her phone in her bag.
He peeked around the roses. “I told you we had the same idea. I have milk shakes. And Thai food. I went to Voodoo, too, so I’ve got doughnuts in the car.”
“I can see you mean business. Follow me to my place. We can eat and talk.”
He handed her the flowers before he went back to his car and followed her to her house.
When they went inside, Tuesday looked up from where she sat at the kitchen table, and her brows rose. “It’s about time. I’m going to a movie. I’ll see you later.”
She kissed Natalie’s cheek, grabbed her coat and purse and headed out.
“Wait. You don’t have to leave. We can go upstairs to talk.”
She rolled her eyes at Natalie. “Hush. I’ll be back later.”
Natalie watched Tuesday go and turned back around with a sigh. “I’m going to put these in some water.” She hung up her coat in the closet and then put her bag down near the bench at the back door. She grabbed the flowers, and he followed her.
“I’ll get plates out.”
They walked around each other, sort of tiptoeing around the subject for several minutes.
“You have a thing about control. I mean, you told me about it, but I didn’t really hear it or get how it connected with the winery, but I see it now.”
She started, going very still, and he waited. He could do most of the work, but she had to give him something.
“And you saw me when I was not in full control and it pushed your buttons.”
“Yes.” She blew out a breath. “Look, I’m sorry I left without explaining myself.”
“Will you tell me? I know I upset you, but we can’t do this unless you share with me.”
She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I grew up in a house that was chaos all the time. My dad was, is, was—who knows— The entire time I was growing up, he was an addict. For long years it was alcohol and then it was cocaine and then he was an IV drug user. He loved speedballs. My house was not a safe place. My house was not filled with adults who were good examples. My dad was f**ked up all the time. We got our furniture stolen on a regular basis. I had a padlock on my door to keep my stuff safe, and my door was broken down on more than one occasion. We lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood so I had that, which is more than a lot of other people did, I understand that.
“I’ve seen enough out-of-control people on the nod with their rig still in their arm, enough overdoses and random ass**les lying in pools of vomit in my living room to last several lifetimes. I see that sort of thing, and it brings my past back to me and I drown in it. If someone else is out of control, that means they’re not taking care of their business. It means someone else is cleaning up after them. Not just bottles and needles and puke, making sure the bills got paid, dealing with the school so child protective services never got suspicious. I’m just...done taking care of other people. I don’t want to look back, Paddy. That scene triggered some stuff that had already been partially reawakened that day.” She put her fork down.
He didn’t speak as he tried to process. As he fought rage at the way she’d had to grow up, there was still no denying her opening up to trust him with part of her past warmed him. And then he got freaked out that he’d mishandle the next step. And then, maybe part of him was hurt she hadn’t just come to him before.
“I’m far from perfect.” She cut her gaze to his. “I know in here—” Natalie pressed the heel of her hand over her heart “—that what you were at the winery was not even in the same universe as what I grew up with. But here—” she rubbed her stomach “—keeps tripping me up. I saw you that way, and it all came back to me. The powerlessness of it. You didn’t do it on purpose, and I understand that. I don’t know if it’s going to happen again and your life...well, your life is wild.”
He took her hand, tangling his fingers with hers, and that connection simply clicked back into place. He knew she felt it, too, because her eyes widened slightly.
“I’m sorry. I was sloppy drunk, and I didn’t get all the cues I would have if I hadn’t been. Damien says you were really upset, and I saw it but that I kept making it worse.” He licked his lips. “Look, I have a brother I watched descend into the worst kind of addiction. I watched him change into another person. Someone I hated. But I had him my whole life up to that point. I knew it wasn’t him. And then he got his shit together and cleaned up, and he was more like the Ezra who was my brother. But he’s changed forever because of what he did. And we all are, too. If you want, I can just not drink around you.”
* * *
SO HE FOUND himself waiting outside the library at her quitting time the next day, holding two dozen roses of all different colors and a bag of takeout.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, glancing at the screen. Natalie.
He answered. “Hey.”
“So I’ve been thinking.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry about that scene at the winery. Will you talk to me?”
“I’m calling you, aren’t I? I was calling to see if you wanted to talk to me, too.”
She came out, and he knew he’d done the right thing because seeing her made him so damned happy, it wasn’t even funny.
She headed down the steps and was halfway to him before she noticed him standing there and froze.
She put her phone in her bag.
He peeked around the roses. “I told you we had the same idea. I have milk shakes. And Thai food. I went to Voodoo, too, so I’ve got doughnuts in the car.”
“I can see you mean business. Follow me to my place. We can eat and talk.”
He handed her the flowers before he went back to his car and followed her to her house.
When they went inside, Tuesday looked up from where she sat at the kitchen table, and her brows rose. “It’s about time. I’m going to a movie. I’ll see you later.”
She kissed Natalie’s cheek, grabbed her coat and purse and headed out.
“Wait. You don’t have to leave. We can go upstairs to talk.”
She rolled her eyes at Natalie. “Hush. I’ll be back later.”
Natalie watched Tuesday go and turned back around with a sigh. “I’m going to put these in some water.” She hung up her coat in the closet and then put her bag down near the bench at the back door. She grabbed the flowers, and he followed her.
“I’ll get plates out.”
They walked around each other, sort of tiptoeing around the subject for several minutes.
“You have a thing about control. I mean, you told me about it, but I didn’t really hear it or get how it connected with the winery, but I see it now.”
She started, going very still, and he waited. He could do most of the work, but she had to give him something.
“And you saw me when I was not in full control and it pushed your buttons.”
“Yes.” She blew out a breath. “Look, I’m sorry I left without explaining myself.”
“Will you tell me? I know I upset you, but we can’t do this unless you share with me.”
She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I grew up in a house that was chaos all the time. My dad was, is, was—who knows— The entire time I was growing up, he was an addict. For long years it was alcohol and then it was cocaine and then he was an IV drug user. He loved speedballs. My house was not a safe place. My house was not filled with adults who were good examples. My dad was f**ked up all the time. We got our furniture stolen on a regular basis. I had a padlock on my door to keep my stuff safe, and my door was broken down on more than one occasion. We lived in a nice house in a nice neighborhood so I had that, which is more than a lot of other people did, I understand that.
“I’ve seen enough out-of-control people on the nod with their rig still in their arm, enough overdoses and random ass**les lying in pools of vomit in my living room to last several lifetimes. I see that sort of thing, and it brings my past back to me and I drown in it. If someone else is out of control, that means they’re not taking care of their business. It means someone else is cleaning up after them. Not just bottles and needles and puke, making sure the bills got paid, dealing with the school so child protective services never got suspicious. I’m just...done taking care of other people. I don’t want to look back, Paddy. That scene triggered some stuff that had already been partially reawakened that day.” She put her fork down.
He didn’t speak as he tried to process. As he fought rage at the way she’d had to grow up, there was still no denying her opening up to trust him with part of her past warmed him. And then he got freaked out that he’d mishandle the next step. And then, maybe part of him was hurt she hadn’t just come to him before.
“I’m far from perfect.” She cut her gaze to his. “I know in here—” Natalie pressed the heel of her hand over her heart “—that what you were at the winery was not even in the same universe as what I grew up with. But here—” she rubbed her stomach “—keeps tripping me up. I saw you that way, and it all came back to me. The powerlessness of it. You didn’t do it on purpose, and I understand that. I don’t know if it’s going to happen again and your life...well, your life is wild.”
He took her hand, tangling his fingers with hers, and that connection simply clicked back into place. He knew she felt it, too, because her eyes widened slightly.
“I’m sorry. I was sloppy drunk, and I didn’t get all the cues I would have if I hadn’t been. Damien says you were really upset, and I saw it but that I kept making it worse.” He licked his lips. “Look, I have a brother I watched descend into the worst kind of addiction. I watched him change into another person. Someone I hated. But I had him my whole life up to that point. I knew it wasn’t him. And then he got his shit together and cleaned up, and he was more like the Ezra who was my brother. But he’s changed forever because of what he did. And we all are, too. If you want, I can just not drink around you.”
