The Best Kind of Trouble
Page 38
“It’s not that. I have a glass of wine here and there. You know I like champagne. I’m not opposed to people drinking. Not at all. I just... It triggers me and all that helplessness when I see people who are sloppy and out of control. I guess I didn’t realize how bad it was until I saw you. I just don’t always know what’s going to make me upset. I’m finding out myself as I go. It’s not fair to you to try to deal with that.”
He snorted. “I’ll let you know if I think you’re a burden or not. You’re entitled to your feelings on this. Perfectly valid feelings, I might add.
“I want this to work. I don’t think you’d have let me in the door if you didn’t want that, too. So what I’m saying is, why not try? I like you. You like me. We’re adults, and at least there’s one of us with some measure of emotional maturity.”
She rolled her eyes, and he felt so much better for it.
“I meant you, if that wasn’t clear. I think you should give us a chance.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For my reaction. I know you didn’t mean to upset me. I’m sorry I can’t guarantee something else random won’t freak me out.”
Tenderness chased away his amusement. He hated that she had all this baggage, hated more that she seemed to blame herself for it. “Beautiful, I was a dumbass. A drunken dumbass, and I manhandled you on top of that. You don’t have anything to apologize for. But I do appreciate the explanation. I can be better at this if I know more about you.”
“You weren’t trying to hurt or control me. I knew that on one level. I just don’t know, Paddy. I don’t know if I can do this and not make mistakes.”
“That makes two of us. In fact, I’m sure I’ll make mistakes. I don’t know what this relationship gig entails.” That was something he’d had to work so hard to accept. He didn’t know how to put someone else first. Not other than his family. “I’m feeling my way through. I want you to trust me. Even though I’m not perfect, either.”
“On one condition.”
“Name it.”
“I’m going to need that spring roll.”
He laughed, handing it over and then turning the bag over on her plate. “Have ’em all.”
She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him until she’d walked out of the library and seen him standing there. A phone call meant she’d have some distance from him. But Paddy Hurley in the flesh? That smile?
As they cleaned the kitchen up, she was glad, so glad, she’d brought him home. Glad she shared with him. Glad he was there with her. Tuesday probably would say I told you so for that.
“So. I have a proposal.”
She looked back over her shoulder as she tucked the hand towel on the ring. “That so? What is this proposal, then?”
“I have doughnuts. I think we should go to your room and eat them naked in your bed.”
She paused. “As proposals go, that’s a pretty good one.”
She walked past him, swatting his behind on the way. “Let’s be sure that sex is on that menu, too.”
“That goes without saying when you’re alone with me and there’s naked involved.”
She left Tuesday a note saying things were okay between her and Paddy, and that they were busy for a bit. She figured Tuesday would know when she got home if Natalie wasn’t around and her door was closed, but it never hurt to be extra sure. The last thing she wanted was Tuesday barging in and catching her and Paddy in bed.
Awkward.
Paddy kicked her door closed and backed her to the bed. “Maybe you can eat that doughnut while I eat you. It’s been like a week since I’ve tasted you.”
She swallowed hard. “I might choke. Maybe we can eat them afterward.”
“Damn, you’re putting doughnuts aside for me? You really are trying.”
She laughed as she pulled his sweater off, tossing it in a nearby chair. He undid her blouse and slid it from her arms, kissing her shoulder and across her collarbone. He paused at the hollow of her throat and breathed in deep. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”
It had only been a few days rather than his exaggerated week, but she’d missed him, too. Missed the way he’d been part of her life.
“I missed you, too.” She petted his beard.
She realized she’d started doing that recently. Petting it and soothing herself. It made her laugh and he paused.
“Um. Should I be concerned you’re laughing?”
“I just realized your beard is my comfort object. I pet it like a blankie, and it soothes me.”
He kissed her fingertips. “Whatever gets you hot. Feel free to pet me wherever and whenever you please.”
They ended up in a tumble on her bed as they stopped pawing at each other long enough to struggle out of their clothes and return.
He felt so good. Warm. Solid. Hard against her. He tasted her, his lips teasing her mouth, her jawline, her ears. Her heart sped at his attentions.
She moved to reach between them, and he grasped her wrists and pulled her arms above her head, pinning them there while he rolled atop her, kissing her until she was dizzy.
“I think—” he paused to kiss her again “—you need to give up control. Not all the time. Not in your day-to-day life. But here. Just between us. Give it to me.”
She tested his hold, a thrill rushing through her. This wasn’t anything she’d ever really considered before.
He snorted. “I’ll let you know if I think you’re a burden or not. You’re entitled to your feelings on this. Perfectly valid feelings, I might add.
“I want this to work. I don’t think you’d have let me in the door if you didn’t want that, too. So what I’m saying is, why not try? I like you. You like me. We’re adults, and at least there’s one of us with some measure of emotional maturity.”
She rolled her eyes, and he felt so much better for it.
“I meant you, if that wasn’t clear. I think you should give us a chance.”
She squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For my reaction. I know you didn’t mean to upset me. I’m sorry I can’t guarantee something else random won’t freak me out.”
Tenderness chased away his amusement. He hated that she had all this baggage, hated more that she seemed to blame herself for it. “Beautiful, I was a dumbass. A drunken dumbass, and I manhandled you on top of that. You don’t have anything to apologize for. But I do appreciate the explanation. I can be better at this if I know more about you.”
“You weren’t trying to hurt or control me. I knew that on one level. I just don’t know, Paddy. I don’t know if I can do this and not make mistakes.”
“That makes two of us. In fact, I’m sure I’ll make mistakes. I don’t know what this relationship gig entails.” That was something he’d had to work so hard to accept. He didn’t know how to put someone else first. Not other than his family. “I’m feeling my way through. I want you to trust me. Even though I’m not perfect, either.”
“On one condition.”
“Name it.”
“I’m going to need that spring roll.”
He laughed, handing it over and then turning the bag over on her plate. “Have ’em all.”
She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him until she’d walked out of the library and seen him standing there. A phone call meant she’d have some distance from him. But Paddy Hurley in the flesh? That smile?
As they cleaned the kitchen up, she was glad, so glad, she’d brought him home. Glad she shared with him. Glad he was there with her. Tuesday probably would say I told you so for that.
“So. I have a proposal.”
She looked back over her shoulder as she tucked the hand towel on the ring. “That so? What is this proposal, then?”
“I have doughnuts. I think we should go to your room and eat them naked in your bed.”
She paused. “As proposals go, that’s a pretty good one.”
She walked past him, swatting his behind on the way. “Let’s be sure that sex is on that menu, too.”
“That goes without saying when you’re alone with me and there’s naked involved.”
She left Tuesday a note saying things were okay between her and Paddy, and that they were busy for a bit. She figured Tuesday would know when she got home if Natalie wasn’t around and her door was closed, but it never hurt to be extra sure. The last thing she wanted was Tuesday barging in and catching her and Paddy in bed.
Awkward.
Paddy kicked her door closed and backed her to the bed. “Maybe you can eat that doughnut while I eat you. It’s been like a week since I’ve tasted you.”
She swallowed hard. “I might choke. Maybe we can eat them afterward.”
“Damn, you’re putting doughnuts aside for me? You really are trying.”
She laughed as she pulled his sweater off, tossing it in a nearby chair. He undid her blouse and slid it from her arms, kissing her shoulder and across her collarbone. He paused at the hollow of her throat and breathed in deep. “I’ve missed you like crazy.”
It had only been a few days rather than his exaggerated week, but she’d missed him, too. Missed the way he’d been part of her life.
“I missed you, too.” She petted his beard.
She realized she’d started doing that recently. Petting it and soothing herself. It made her laugh and he paused.
“Um. Should I be concerned you’re laughing?”
“I just realized your beard is my comfort object. I pet it like a blankie, and it soothes me.”
He kissed her fingertips. “Whatever gets you hot. Feel free to pet me wherever and whenever you please.”
They ended up in a tumble on her bed as they stopped pawing at each other long enough to struggle out of their clothes and return.
He felt so good. Warm. Solid. Hard against her. He tasted her, his lips teasing her mouth, her jawline, her ears. Her heart sped at his attentions.
She moved to reach between them, and he grasped her wrists and pulled her arms above her head, pinning them there while he rolled atop her, kissing her until she was dizzy.
“I think—” he paused to kiss her again “—you need to give up control. Not all the time. Not in your day-to-day life. But here. Just between us. Give it to me.”
She tested his hold, a thrill rushing through her. This wasn’t anything she’d ever really considered before.
