The Burning Claw
Page 89
Zara felt as though she’d been holding her breath from the moment she’d heard his voice in her mind. Minutes before she’d run into him, literally, she’d been despairing over the thought that she would never have a mate. Now, here he sat, claiming he was it. She didn’t really doubt him. The evidence was pretty irrefutable. But she was so scared she’d be a disappointment to him. Inside, she was terrified. She was good at putting up a front to survive. She could appear tough when she needed to. But in reality, she was a kidnap victim. She was nothing more than food. She’d been used and fed upon until there was nothing left inside. Desperately, she wanted to be worthy of someone’s love. She wanted so badly to have a man look at her the way Decebel looked at Jen, to have a man touch her the way Fane touched Jacque, to have a man need her the way Costin needed Sally. Now she sat across from Wadim, terrified to hope that maybe he would be those things to her.
Suddenly, he was on his knees in front of her. He was so tall that even on his knees his face was level with hers. He looked tortured. His hands came up and rested on her thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze.
“I am looking at you that way. I am touching you that way.” His hands slid up her thighs and around to either side of her waist. “And I do need you more than you can possibly understand. Costin is a pup compared to me. I have lived centuries. I have waited so much longer for you than he did for Sally. Feel it,” he told her and then she felt the bond in their mind open and his emotions mixed with her own. She felt his desperation, as if he couldn’t breathe without her.
She looked at him, staring back at her with a longing that took her breath away. Wadim was handsome; his dark, wavy hair begged her fingers to run themselves through it. His gold eyes were intense and knowledgeable. He seemed to wear a perpetual smirk that was incredibly sexy and he looked like someone who loved to laugh. He was tall, but not wide and huge like Decebel or Fane. Wadim was solid, but built more like a swimmer than a football player. He was perfect. And she was so far from it.
She tried to look away but he grabbed her chin, surprisingly gentle in his touch considering the frustration in his gold eyes.
“Don’t look away from me, Zara. Over the years, I’ve watched my pack mates with envy as they found their true mates and now you’re finally here. I want to see your lovely face. Truth be told, I would like to see more than that, but I will be patient.”
He was teasing her. The frustration was still there, but she could tell he was trying to put her at ease.
“Wadim.”
“Hmmm,” he sighed. “I love my name on your lips.”
She couldn’t help but smile, but it was fleeting. “If we are true mates, you deserve to know things before you commit to this.” She motioned between them.
“You still don’t understand. There is no if,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “You are mine—my true mate.”
“Right, got it. But like you said I didn’t grow up with your kind. I’ve only known humans and vampires. I’m not normal. I’m damaged. I mean, I cope mentally because it’s either that or roll up in a ball and cry for the rest of my life, but the damage is not just mental. Physically, I’m very damaged.”
“Not in my eyes,” he said gently.
She wanted to growl. He wasn’t understanding and he deserved to know before he was stuck with her. She figured most couples didn’t discuss such intimate things after only just meeting, but she wouldn’t be able to trust him until he knew the truth.
“You can tell me anything, Z,” he said gently as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.
“Z?”
He shrugged. “I figured you’d like that better than some of the other things I want to call you.”
There was that smirk again. “You’re probably right,” she lied. But she didn’t want to think about those things until after she’d told him everything.
“Okay,’’ she took a deep breath. “But I need to stand up and walk. I can’t be touching you while I tell you.”
He looked miserable at the idea of not touching her. But he nodded and stood up, stepping back and giving her space.
Zara stood up and looked at the ground. She began to pace and wrung her hands in front of her as she began speaking “I was taken by the vampires when I was twelve. By that age, I had already developed the figure of a woman.” This was her way of saying she had big boobs, a fact that Wadim had obviously noticed. “And though most vampires don’t desire humans in any way other than food, there are always exceptions to the rule.”
Wadim was growling and when she looked up she saw that he had a death grip on one of the chairs. His eyes were glowing and his teeth had gotten very sharp.
In a way, it felt good to finally tell someone—anyone. But another part of Zara felt like running from the room. She had to keep going, to get it all out there. If she stopped, she might not start again, locking the pain deep inside where it had lived for so long. So she looked away and picked up where she’d left off. “Most of the vampires didn’t have just one or two people they fed from, most of them fed from any human available. I didn’t have such luck. When I was fourteen, a new male joined the coven in which I was enslaved. For whatever reason, he became infatuated with me. He fed only from me and he was extremely possessive. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch me. He even killed a few vampires who had ignored his order. He was old, powerful, and most of them wouldn’t challenge him. I lived in his room, if you could call it that. It had a bed. There were no other furnishings. I was allowed to leave, occasionally. I think those were the times that I must have looked particularly terrible. He fed upon me hard, but I think he was worried that I would die if he took too much. When he fed from me—” She stopped, steadying her shaky voice and attempting to slow her racing heart.
“Go on,” Wadim rasped, as gently as he could, fighting back his wolf as hard as he could.
When she looked at him, she saw the wolf staring back at her out of his glowing eyes.
“I would never hurt you, please go on,” he forced out.
“Maybe we should talk about this later,” she said, perhaps realizing for the first time just how possessive the males were of their mates.
He shook his head. “Now. Just get it all out now.”
“When he fed from me, he did other things. He was into pain and he liked hurting me while he touched me, or while he—” She swallowed hard. “He, he, ra—” Zara heard something crash against the wall. She jerked around to see Wadim picking up another chair and throwing it into the wall on the opposite side of the room.
Suddenly, he was on his knees in front of her. He was so tall that even on his knees his face was level with hers. He looked tortured. His hands came up and rested on her thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze.
“I am looking at you that way. I am touching you that way.” His hands slid up her thighs and around to either side of her waist. “And I do need you more than you can possibly understand. Costin is a pup compared to me. I have lived centuries. I have waited so much longer for you than he did for Sally. Feel it,” he told her and then she felt the bond in their mind open and his emotions mixed with her own. She felt his desperation, as if he couldn’t breathe without her.
She looked at him, staring back at her with a longing that took her breath away. Wadim was handsome; his dark, wavy hair begged her fingers to run themselves through it. His gold eyes were intense and knowledgeable. He seemed to wear a perpetual smirk that was incredibly sexy and he looked like someone who loved to laugh. He was tall, but not wide and huge like Decebel or Fane. Wadim was solid, but built more like a swimmer than a football player. He was perfect. And she was so far from it.
She tried to look away but he grabbed her chin, surprisingly gentle in his touch considering the frustration in his gold eyes.
“Don’t look away from me, Zara. Over the years, I’ve watched my pack mates with envy as they found their true mates and now you’re finally here. I want to see your lovely face. Truth be told, I would like to see more than that, but I will be patient.”
He was teasing her. The frustration was still there, but she could tell he was trying to put her at ease.
“Wadim.”
“Hmmm,” he sighed. “I love my name on your lips.”
She couldn’t help but smile, but it was fleeting. “If we are true mates, you deserve to know things before you commit to this.” She motioned between them.
“You still don’t understand. There is no if,” he said, his eyes narrowing. “You are mine—my true mate.”
“Right, got it. But like you said I didn’t grow up with your kind. I’ve only known humans and vampires. I’m not normal. I’m damaged. I mean, I cope mentally because it’s either that or roll up in a ball and cry for the rest of my life, but the damage is not just mental. Physically, I’m very damaged.”
“Not in my eyes,” he said gently.
She wanted to growl. He wasn’t understanding and he deserved to know before he was stuck with her. She figured most couples didn’t discuss such intimate things after only just meeting, but she wouldn’t be able to trust him until he knew the truth.
“You can tell me anything, Z,” he said gently as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers.
“Z?”
He shrugged. “I figured you’d like that better than some of the other things I want to call you.”
There was that smirk again. “You’re probably right,” she lied. But she didn’t want to think about those things until after she’d told him everything.
“Okay,’’ she took a deep breath. “But I need to stand up and walk. I can’t be touching you while I tell you.”
He looked miserable at the idea of not touching her. But he nodded and stood up, stepping back and giving her space.
Zara stood up and looked at the ground. She began to pace and wrung her hands in front of her as she began speaking “I was taken by the vampires when I was twelve. By that age, I had already developed the figure of a woman.” This was her way of saying she had big boobs, a fact that Wadim had obviously noticed. “And though most vampires don’t desire humans in any way other than food, there are always exceptions to the rule.”
Wadim was growling and when she looked up she saw that he had a death grip on one of the chairs. His eyes were glowing and his teeth had gotten very sharp.
In a way, it felt good to finally tell someone—anyone. But another part of Zara felt like running from the room. She had to keep going, to get it all out there. If she stopped, she might not start again, locking the pain deep inside where it had lived for so long. So she looked away and picked up where she’d left off. “Most of the vampires didn’t have just one or two people they fed from, most of them fed from any human available. I didn’t have such luck. When I was fourteen, a new male joined the coven in which I was enslaved. For whatever reason, he became infatuated with me. He fed only from me and he was extremely possessive. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch me. He even killed a few vampires who had ignored his order. He was old, powerful, and most of them wouldn’t challenge him. I lived in his room, if you could call it that. It had a bed. There were no other furnishings. I was allowed to leave, occasionally. I think those were the times that I must have looked particularly terrible. He fed upon me hard, but I think he was worried that I would die if he took too much. When he fed from me—” She stopped, steadying her shaky voice and attempting to slow her racing heart.
“Go on,” Wadim rasped, as gently as he could, fighting back his wolf as hard as he could.
When she looked at him, she saw the wolf staring back at her out of his glowing eyes.
“I would never hurt you, please go on,” he forced out.
“Maybe we should talk about this later,” she said, perhaps realizing for the first time just how possessive the males were of their mates.
He shook his head. “Now. Just get it all out now.”
“When he fed from me, he did other things. He was into pain and he liked hurting me while he touched me, or while he—” She swallowed hard. “He, he, ra—” Zara heard something crash against the wall. She jerked around to see Wadim picking up another chair and throwing it into the wall on the opposite side of the room.
