The Burning Claw
Page 90
“You don’t have to say it,” Wadim growled.
She waited quietly until she heard him in her mind.
“Mate, touch.”
Her eyes widened.
“Your touch is the only thing that can control my wolf,” he explained through clenched teeth.
She hesitantly walked over to him. As soon as she was within arm’s length, he snatched her around the waist and crushed her to his body.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Wadim, that’s not all of it.”
He froze but didn’t release her. “Tell me.”
“My body,” she paused and took a breath. “He liked torture. He liked knives. There’s not an inch of my skin that doesn’t bear a scar—a cut, a burn, a gouge. I’m not exaggerating.” Zara decided to utilize the bond and go for broke. She’d just show him so he’d fully understand why he would be disgusted with her. She pictured her body in her mind. She didn’t hide anything, though it humiliated her. She’d rather he know now than find out the first time they were intimate.
She showed him the cuts that covered her legs, front and back. Then she showed him her back where the vampire had, day after day, year after year, run his claws repeatedly over her skin, reopening scars and making fresh ones. They were big and rough and ugly. There were bite marks everywhere in between the cuts.
Her heart was beating painfully when she let her mind focus on her chest. Both breasts were covered in raised scars from cuts and bites. There wasn’t a smooth section on them. And the worst part, the part that sickened her— She squeezed her eyes closed as she remembered when Ander—that was the scum who’d ruined her—had taken away any ounce of dignity she might have had left.
“No man will ever want you now. Your body will forever belong to me,” he said as she cried not only from the pain, but from the grief of losing a part of her. Ander had rendered her breasts useless by taking away the very thing that would have allowed her to one day nurse her children. He’d deformed her for the rest of her life. He had taken a part of her femininity, and with it any self-esteem she might have had. He’d stripped her of any beauty that she might have had. Ander had wanted to ruin her for anyone else and he’d succeeded.
She pushed the images away and laid her head against his chest, suddenly exhausted. It was then that she realized he was shaking. She pulled back as much as he would let her and looked up at his handsome face. His eyes were closed and tears were running down his cheeks. He looked angry but broken at the same time.
“Wadim,” she said gently.
“Don’t,” he growled.
She felt her heart break. He didn’t want her. He sounded disgusted.
“Don’t comfort me,” he began again, his voice a little softer. “I didn’t protect you. I wasn’t there. I didn’t even get the chance to kill him.”
Wadim was sick, but not because he was in any way disgusted by his mate. In his eyes, she was beautiful. She was perfect and she was his. He was sick because she’d gone through that ordeal. She’d been hurt at the hands of another male and he had been unable to save her.
“How could you think I would be disgusted?” he asked as he tried to gain control so that he could talk to her. She needed him to be there for her in that moment, and he would do just that. It was critical. She was vulnerable and he knew that she felt worthless. But what she saw as disgusting, he saw as only beautiful. “Zara, baby, you’re perfect. You’re beautiful. Every part of you. The fact that you had the strength to tell me, to show me your biggest pain and your biggest fears, is incredible. You are incredible.”
Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at him in disbelief. He fell to his knees and pressed his face into her tender stomach. His hand grasped her hips, though he tried to make sure he didn’t hurt her. “How can I make you believe me?” He was frantic to get her to understand how he felt about her.
“Give me time,” she said softly.
He pressed his face closer to her and then pushed the edge of her shirt up. She tensed, but she didn’t push him away or try to cover herself.
There were one-inch scars all over her stomach and bite mark scars accompanied nearly every cut. His wolf surged forward and took over before Wadim could gain control. His wolf was whining softly as he kissed each scar. He wanted to replace every painful cut and every painful bite with pleasure. He wanted her to feel attractive and desired. He wanted to kiss more of her, but with so much emotion and pain, he knew from this point forward they should take it slow. They’d dove right in, of that, there was no doubt. But now that she’d gotten her fears out in the open, he could take his time showing her every day how precious she was to him.
Wadim pulled her shirt down and stood up. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “My lovely, brave, Zara,” he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to kiss you.”
She nodded; her eyes—so big and expressive—stared back at him expectantly.
Wadim wasted no time. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips felt perfect against his. If he could, he would stand there and kiss her for the rest of their lives.
“Open your mouth,” he said, speaking through their bond,
She complied and gasped as his tongue swept past her lips and into her warmth. She tasted like heaven and felt just as good. She was trembling as he held her and he pulled her closer, wanting her to feel safe.
When he felt she’d been thoroughly ravished, he pulled back and looked down at her swollen lips. He smiled at her. “You’re too tempting.”
She laughed. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said seriously. “You tempt me almost beyond what I can control.” He let her feel him through their bond and her breathing sped up. “However long it takes, Z, I will prove to you how much you mean to me and just how much both me and my wolf want you. And I mean want in a multiple of ways.” He winked at her and wanted to howl with victory at the smile she gave him.
“Okay, history boy.”
He groaned.
“What?” she asked, her expression blank.
“Did Peri call me that in front of you?”
She shook her head. “I just thought it fit.”
“Pick a different one, like stud muffin, or sexy beast.”
She waited quietly until she heard him in her mind.
“Mate, touch.”
Her eyes widened.
“Your touch is the only thing that can control my wolf,” he explained through clenched teeth.
She hesitantly walked over to him. As soon as she was within arm’s length, he snatched her around the waist and crushed her to his body.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“Wadim, that’s not all of it.”
He froze but didn’t release her. “Tell me.”
“My body,” she paused and took a breath. “He liked torture. He liked knives. There’s not an inch of my skin that doesn’t bear a scar—a cut, a burn, a gouge. I’m not exaggerating.” Zara decided to utilize the bond and go for broke. She’d just show him so he’d fully understand why he would be disgusted with her. She pictured her body in her mind. She didn’t hide anything, though it humiliated her. She’d rather he know now than find out the first time they were intimate.
She showed him the cuts that covered her legs, front and back. Then she showed him her back where the vampire had, day after day, year after year, run his claws repeatedly over her skin, reopening scars and making fresh ones. They were big and rough and ugly. There were bite marks everywhere in between the cuts.
Her heart was beating painfully when she let her mind focus on her chest. Both breasts were covered in raised scars from cuts and bites. There wasn’t a smooth section on them. And the worst part, the part that sickened her— She squeezed her eyes closed as she remembered when Ander—that was the scum who’d ruined her—had taken away any ounce of dignity she might have had left.
“No man will ever want you now. Your body will forever belong to me,” he said as she cried not only from the pain, but from the grief of losing a part of her. Ander had rendered her breasts useless by taking away the very thing that would have allowed her to one day nurse her children. He’d deformed her for the rest of her life. He had taken a part of her femininity, and with it any self-esteem she might have had. He’d stripped her of any beauty that she might have had. Ander had wanted to ruin her for anyone else and he’d succeeded.
She pushed the images away and laid her head against his chest, suddenly exhausted. It was then that she realized he was shaking. She pulled back as much as he would let her and looked up at his handsome face. His eyes were closed and tears were running down his cheeks. He looked angry but broken at the same time.
“Wadim,” she said gently.
“Don’t,” he growled.
She felt her heart break. He didn’t want her. He sounded disgusted.
“Don’t comfort me,” he began again, his voice a little softer. “I didn’t protect you. I wasn’t there. I didn’t even get the chance to kill him.”
Wadim was sick, but not because he was in any way disgusted by his mate. In his eyes, she was beautiful. She was perfect and she was his. He was sick because she’d gone through that ordeal. She’d been hurt at the hands of another male and he had been unable to save her.
“How could you think I would be disgusted?” he asked as he tried to gain control so that he could talk to her. She needed him to be there for her in that moment, and he would do just that. It was critical. She was vulnerable and he knew that she felt worthless. But what she saw as disgusting, he saw as only beautiful. “Zara, baby, you’re perfect. You’re beautiful. Every part of you. The fact that you had the strength to tell me, to show me your biggest pain and your biggest fears, is incredible. You are incredible.”
Tears streamed down her face as she stared up at him in disbelief. He fell to his knees and pressed his face into her tender stomach. His hand grasped her hips, though he tried to make sure he didn’t hurt her. “How can I make you believe me?” He was frantic to get her to understand how he felt about her.
“Give me time,” she said softly.
He pressed his face closer to her and then pushed the edge of her shirt up. She tensed, but she didn’t push him away or try to cover herself.
There were one-inch scars all over her stomach and bite mark scars accompanied nearly every cut. His wolf surged forward and took over before Wadim could gain control. His wolf was whining softly as he kissed each scar. He wanted to replace every painful cut and every painful bite with pleasure. He wanted her to feel attractive and desired. He wanted to kiss more of her, but with so much emotion and pain, he knew from this point forward they should take it slow. They’d dove right in, of that, there was no doubt. But now that she’d gotten her fears out in the open, he could take his time showing her every day how precious she was to him.
Wadim pulled her shirt down and stood up. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “My lovely, brave, Zara,” he breathed out in awe. “I’m going to kiss you.”
She nodded; her eyes—so big and expressive—stared back at him expectantly.
Wadim wasted no time. He leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips felt perfect against his. If he could, he would stand there and kiss her for the rest of their lives.
“Open your mouth,” he said, speaking through their bond,
She complied and gasped as his tongue swept past her lips and into her warmth. She tasted like heaven and felt just as good. She was trembling as he held her and he pulled her closer, wanting her to feel safe.
When he felt she’d been thoroughly ravished, he pulled back and looked down at her swollen lips. He smiled at her. “You’re too tempting.”
She laughed. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said seriously. “You tempt me almost beyond what I can control.” He let her feel him through their bond and her breathing sped up. “However long it takes, Z, I will prove to you how much you mean to me and just how much both me and my wolf want you. And I mean want in a multiple of ways.” He winked at her and wanted to howl with victory at the smile she gave him.
“Okay, history boy.”
He groaned.
“What?” she asked, her expression blank.
“Did Peri call me that in front of you?”
She shook her head. “I just thought it fit.”
“Pick a different one, like stud muffin, or sexy beast.”
