The Ending I Want
Page 90
“Kate was having an affair with Jeremy.”
Eddie’s head snaps around so quick that I hear it click.
“They were having an affair?” Cam steps closer to the bar.
I can see his eyes lighting with anger.
I blow out a tired breath and nod my head. “I found out the night before the funeral. I got her phone out of the stuff I brought back from Switzerland. I was…missing her. I found some texts…from Jeremy.” I let his name hang there for a moment before I continue, “They’d been having an affair the whole time I was with her. It’d started just after we got together. There were…emails that I found on her laptop. They told me everything I needed to know.”
“Motherfucker,” Eddie seethes.
Cam isn’t saying anything, but his face is tight with anger.
He feels betrayed for me but for himself, too.
I get that.
I stare back down into my beer. “After finding that out, I had to go to her funeral and pretend like everything was okay—well, not okay, but you know what I mean.” I sigh. “And then Jeremy fucking came over, telling me how sorry he was, how he was there for me for whatever I needed. I just…lost it.”
“And you punched him,” Eddie says. “I’m fucking glad you did. But how you didn’t do more, I’ll never know. Because I’d have done a lot more than punch him. I’d have beaten the bastard to death. I will beat the bastard to death when I see him next.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” That’s Cam, and he sounds hurt and disappointed.
I don’t meet his eyes. I just shake my head. “I don’t know.”
I do. I was afraid.
“I guess…I wanted to protect Kate’s memory.”
“She didn’t deserve protecting,” Eddie says bitterly.
“Ed…she betrayed me. Not you and Cam. Me. And she was your friend. I didn’t want to sully the memory you had of her. And her parents…I didn’t want them to be affected by it. They’d always been good to me.”
“So, you kept it to yourself and let us think that you were being a shit to Jeremy…Jesus, Liam.” Cam shakes his head at me. “I’ve carried on with being his friend all these years. You should have told us. We wouldn’t have told anyone else, but we sure would have kicked the fuck out of him for what he did to you and then kicked him out of our lives.”
I lift my eyes but don’t look at them. “You’ve known Jeremy longer than me…since primary school. I guess I…” I trail off because I can’t say it.
“You thought we’d have chosen him over you.” Eddie sounds even more disappointed in me than Cam did.
Won’t lie. It fucking hurts.
“How could you think that? You’re our friend,” Cam says vehemently. “Our best friend. Yeah, we’ve known Jeremy a long time, but with him, it’s never been like it is with the three of us, and you know that. It’s always been me, you, and Eddie. Jeremy just coasted in and out of our friendship. Even now, I see you way more than I see him. He’s an occasional friend. You’re my best friend.”
A lump climbs up my throat. I fight to swallow it down.
“And you have the most money and a private jet, so of course, we’d pick you,” Eddie says, a loose smile on his face.
And his words are just what I need to stop myself from crying like the pussy I’m turning into.
Fighting a smile, I shake my head. “Good to know you just want me for my money.”
“And your private jet. Don’t forget the jet.” Eddie’s grin gets bigger.
“How could I?” I chuckle.
Cam leans his forearms on the bar and stares me in the eyes. “Liam, we’re your mates, your best mates. So, don’t you ever fucking keep anything like that from us again. You got me?”
“I got you.” I tap two fingers to my head in a salute.
My heart might still feel heavy over Taylor. But it feels lighter from telling them the truth.
Cam straightens up, and as his eyes lift, he freezes. I know he sees something behind me because there’s a distinct shift in his expression.
Someone’s here, and I have a feeling it’s someone I don’t want to see.
I swear to God, if it’s Jeremy, I’m going to nail the cunt to the wall.
“There’s someone here to see you.” Cam lifts his chin in the direction of the door behind me.
I look deeper into Cam’s expression. He doesn’t look angry. He looks…pleased.
And that has me spinning my stool around, my gaze zeroing in on the door.
Taylor.
She’s here.
My breath catches as my eyes connect with hers. My heart takes off like a racehorse in my chest.
I slide off my stool, my feet hitting the floor with a thud.
People are moving between us, but I don’t lose eye contact with her for a second.
I need to do something. Go to her.
I force my feet forward, cutting up the space between us.
My moving seems to set her off, and she slowly walks toward me.
We stop a few feet away from each other in the middle of the pub.
“Hi.” Her voice is soft but laced with unease and a hint of sadness.
And it reaches into my chest and curls around me.
I can’t speak.
I’ve wanted to talk to her all day, and now, I can’t think of a thing to say.
Everything I want is standing in front of me, and I’m here, acting like a fucking mute.
All I have running through my mind is that I want her to stay.
But, the last time I said that, I sent her running.
Eddie’s head snaps around so quick that I hear it click.
“They were having an affair?” Cam steps closer to the bar.
I can see his eyes lighting with anger.
I blow out a tired breath and nod my head. “I found out the night before the funeral. I got her phone out of the stuff I brought back from Switzerland. I was…missing her. I found some texts…from Jeremy.” I let his name hang there for a moment before I continue, “They’d been having an affair the whole time I was with her. It’d started just after we got together. There were…emails that I found on her laptop. They told me everything I needed to know.”
“Motherfucker,” Eddie seethes.
Cam isn’t saying anything, but his face is tight with anger.
He feels betrayed for me but for himself, too.
I get that.
I stare back down into my beer. “After finding that out, I had to go to her funeral and pretend like everything was okay—well, not okay, but you know what I mean.” I sigh. “And then Jeremy fucking came over, telling me how sorry he was, how he was there for me for whatever I needed. I just…lost it.”
“And you punched him,” Eddie says. “I’m fucking glad you did. But how you didn’t do more, I’ll never know. Because I’d have done a lot more than punch him. I’d have beaten the bastard to death. I will beat the bastard to death when I see him next.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” That’s Cam, and he sounds hurt and disappointed.
I don’t meet his eyes. I just shake my head. “I don’t know.”
I do. I was afraid.
“I guess…I wanted to protect Kate’s memory.”
“She didn’t deserve protecting,” Eddie says bitterly.
“Ed…she betrayed me. Not you and Cam. Me. And she was your friend. I didn’t want to sully the memory you had of her. And her parents…I didn’t want them to be affected by it. They’d always been good to me.”
“So, you kept it to yourself and let us think that you were being a shit to Jeremy…Jesus, Liam.” Cam shakes his head at me. “I’ve carried on with being his friend all these years. You should have told us. We wouldn’t have told anyone else, but we sure would have kicked the fuck out of him for what he did to you and then kicked him out of our lives.”
I lift my eyes but don’t look at them. “You’ve known Jeremy longer than me…since primary school. I guess I…” I trail off because I can’t say it.
“You thought we’d have chosen him over you.” Eddie sounds even more disappointed in me than Cam did.
Won’t lie. It fucking hurts.
“How could you think that? You’re our friend,” Cam says vehemently. “Our best friend. Yeah, we’ve known Jeremy a long time, but with him, it’s never been like it is with the three of us, and you know that. It’s always been me, you, and Eddie. Jeremy just coasted in and out of our friendship. Even now, I see you way more than I see him. He’s an occasional friend. You’re my best friend.”
A lump climbs up my throat. I fight to swallow it down.
“And you have the most money and a private jet, so of course, we’d pick you,” Eddie says, a loose smile on his face.
And his words are just what I need to stop myself from crying like the pussy I’m turning into.
Fighting a smile, I shake my head. “Good to know you just want me for my money.”
“And your private jet. Don’t forget the jet.” Eddie’s grin gets bigger.
“How could I?” I chuckle.
Cam leans his forearms on the bar and stares me in the eyes. “Liam, we’re your mates, your best mates. So, don’t you ever fucking keep anything like that from us again. You got me?”
“I got you.” I tap two fingers to my head in a salute.
My heart might still feel heavy over Taylor. But it feels lighter from telling them the truth.
Cam straightens up, and as his eyes lift, he freezes. I know he sees something behind me because there’s a distinct shift in his expression.
Someone’s here, and I have a feeling it’s someone I don’t want to see.
I swear to God, if it’s Jeremy, I’m going to nail the cunt to the wall.
“There’s someone here to see you.” Cam lifts his chin in the direction of the door behind me.
I look deeper into Cam’s expression. He doesn’t look angry. He looks…pleased.
And that has me spinning my stool around, my gaze zeroing in on the door.
Taylor.
She’s here.
My breath catches as my eyes connect with hers. My heart takes off like a racehorse in my chest.
I slide off my stool, my feet hitting the floor with a thud.
People are moving between us, but I don’t lose eye contact with her for a second.
I need to do something. Go to her.
I force my feet forward, cutting up the space between us.
My moving seems to set her off, and she slowly walks toward me.
We stop a few feet away from each other in the middle of the pub.
“Hi.” Her voice is soft but laced with unease and a hint of sadness.
And it reaches into my chest and curls around me.
I can’t speak.
I’ve wanted to talk to her all day, and now, I can’t think of a thing to say.
Everything I want is standing in front of me, and I’m here, acting like a fucking mute.
All I have running through my mind is that I want her to stay.
But, the last time I said that, I sent her running.
