The Fire Between High & Lo
Page 53
I stepped to the left of my doorframe. He entered the house.
We didn’t make it past the foyer this time. He ripped at my clothes, and I tore at his. He lifted me up against the front closet door, and tugged on my hair as my hands became tangled in his. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and he didn’t warn me before he entered. The shock sent ripples through me, making me moan his name as he began pounding me, each thrust harder than the last. I was seconds away from losing myself against him.
One of his hands gripped my back and the other squeezed my breasts as he rocked in deeper.
Feel.
Taste.
Suck.
Fuck…
We were slowly becoming addicted to the act of him showing up, and me inviting him in. Passion was our drug, and we were addicted to the high. I cried out his name as he grunted out mine. We thrust and heaved and clenched and sighed. We caught our breaths as he lowered my feet to the ground. But this time, instead of leaving my house, he started walking toward my living room.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he walked down my hallway, toward my bedroom.
“Put your clothes back on.”
“What? Why?”
“So I can take them off again.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Logan
My greatest fucking High…
Chapter Thirty-Two
Alyssa
My most painful Lo…
Chapter Thirty-Three
Logan
“She’s not home,” a kind voice said. I’d been standing there for a few minutes, knocking, waiting for her to let me in, but there hadn’t been an answer. “She’s working at Red’s piano bar tonight. She’ll be performing there all week long.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
The voice belonged to a woman who was probably around her seventies, and had silvery-gray hair that fell down her back. She was sitting on the porch next door, in a rocking chair, reading a novel as she hummed to a tune of her own. As I started down Alyssa’s steps, the woman spoke again.
“So what’s your motive with Aly, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“Come here,” she ordered, waving me over as she closed her book. I walked over to her front porch and took a seat beside her. “My name’s Lori, and I’ve known that girl next door for many years now. Served more pancakes with her than anyone I’ve ever worked with. She has guys throwing themselves at her daily, yet she never even looks their way. But then this mysterious boy comes to town, and she loses her mind. What’s the deal with you?”
“She and I used to be really close. About five years ago.”
“Oh,” she murmured, nodding. “You’re Logan. The boy in the box.”
“What?”
“Under her bed, there’s a box. You’re all that’s in it. Memories, keepsakes. The one boy she can’t seem to shake.” She placed her hand around the locket hanging around her neck. “I know what that’s like.”
“I’m sure she’s over whatever we had years ago. She told me she was.”
Lori raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Men are stupid.”
I laughed.
“There’s this guy named Dan. Handsome boy. He came into the diner each week for the past few years to try to get Alyssa to go out on a date with him, and I watched her officially turn him down today. I knew she did it because of her feelings for you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I stayed quiet as Lori kept speaking.
“But just to be clear, she’s not a drug. She’s not your drug, young man.” I raised an eyebrow, and a small smirk appeared on her lips. “You think you’d disappear for years, and Alyssa wouldn’t mention you every now and then? She told me about your past with drugs, and how you got clean. Which is good. But, honey, you can’t come back here and use her this way. She’s not something you can take in so you can forget about the things around you. She’s a girl, a gentle, caring girl who is still crazy about a boy. And what you’re doing is selfish. What she’s doing is selfish, too. See, you’re not going to stop using, and she’s not going to stop giving. You’re both addicted. You’re both lighting yourselves on fire, as if you don’t feel the burn.
“If you care anything about her, you’ll stop doing this right now. If you care anything about her heart, you’ll stop yourself from breaking it again. Whatever you two are doing might just be fun and games for you, but for her, it’s more. It’s everything she spent the last few years thinking about. If you end up breaking my friend’s heart, you best believe I will break all of your fingers and toes, one at a time.”
I laughed again, but this time the stern look Lori was giving me made me pause. I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
“But for now, you should get home soon,” she said, opening her book back up. “A big storm is supposed to be moving in over the next few hours.”
I looked up at the sky, the darkened clouds blocking out the moon. Standing, my hands went back to my pockets, and I thanked Lori for the talk.
***
The next day, Kellan asked me to join him and Erika at his therapist appointment, and there was no way I’d say no. I’d do anything he’d ask of me. The only therapist I’d ever spoken to was during my stay at St. Michaels Health and Rehabilitation Clinic. We’d have individual sessions and group sessions where they made us color and shit. I hated it at first, but after time, it helped. Then, sometimes, I’d start hating it again.
I sat beside my brother and his fiancée in Dr. Yang’s office, and I could feel the tension building. Before we left the house, Kellan and Erika had been bickering about small things—a toothpaste tube left on the bathroom countertop, coffee not being finished, Erika’s school books all over the dining room table. I’d never seen them fight before, so it was a bit odd.
“Thank you for joining us today, Logan. I know it means a lot to your brother that you’re here.”
“Yeah, of course.” I patted Kellan on the leg. He gave me a forced smile. “Anything for this dude.”
Dr. Yang nodded, pleased. “I think it’s important to check in every now and then about how things are going. I know Erika mentioned that you moved into the house, which I think could be a good thing for Kellan. Having family around is always helpful. So, how about we go around to see how everyone is doing. Kellan, you start.”
We didn’t make it past the foyer this time. He ripped at my clothes, and I tore at his. He lifted me up against the front closet door, and tugged on my hair as my hands became tangled in his. My legs wrapped tightly around his waist, and he didn’t warn me before he entered. The shock sent ripples through me, making me moan his name as he began pounding me, each thrust harder than the last. I was seconds away from losing myself against him.
One of his hands gripped my back and the other squeezed my breasts as he rocked in deeper.
Feel.
Taste.
Suck.
Fuck…
We were slowly becoming addicted to the act of him showing up, and me inviting him in. Passion was our drug, and we were addicted to the high. I cried out his name as he grunted out mine. We thrust and heaved and clenched and sighed. We caught our breaths as he lowered my feet to the ground. But this time, instead of leaving my house, he started walking toward my living room.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he walked down my hallway, toward my bedroom.
“Put your clothes back on.”
“What? Why?”
“So I can take them off again.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Logan
My greatest fucking High…
Chapter Thirty-Two
Alyssa
My most painful Lo…
Chapter Thirty-Three
Logan
“She’s not home,” a kind voice said. I’d been standing there for a few minutes, knocking, waiting for her to let me in, but there hadn’t been an answer. “She’s working at Red’s piano bar tonight. She’ll be performing there all week long.”
“Oh, okay. Thanks.”
The voice belonged to a woman who was probably around her seventies, and had silvery-gray hair that fell down her back. She was sitting on the porch next door, in a rocking chair, reading a novel as she hummed to a tune of her own. As I started down Alyssa’s steps, the woman spoke again.
“So what’s your motive with Aly, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“Come here,” she ordered, waving me over as she closed her book. I walked over to her front porch and took a seat beside her. “My name’s Lori, and I’ve known that girl next door for many years now. Served more pancakes with her than anyone I’ve ever worked with. She has guys throwing themselves at her daily, yet she never even looks their way. But then this mysterious boy comes to town, and she loses her mind. What’s the deal with you?”
“She and I used to be really close. About five years ago.”
“Oh,” she murmured, nodding. “You’re Logan. The boy in the box.”
“What?”
“Under her bed, there’s a box. You’re all that’s in it. Memories, keepsakes. The one boy she can’t seem to shake.” She placed her hand around the locket hanging around her neck. “I know what that’s like.”
“I’m sure she’s over whatever we had years ago. She told me she was.”
Lori raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. “Men are stupid.”
I laughed.
“There’s this guy named Dan. Handsome boy. He came into the diner each week for the past few years to try to get Alyssa to go out on a date with him, and I watched her officially turn him down today. I knew she did it because of her feelings for you.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I stayed quiet as Lori kept speaking.
“But just to be clear, she’s not a drug. She’s not your drug, young man.” I raised an eyebrow, and a small smirk appeared on her lips. “You think you’d disappear for years, and Alyssa wouldn’t mention you every now and then? She told me about your past with drugs, and how you got clean. Which is good. But, honey, you can’t come back here and use her this way. She’s not something you can take in so you can forget about the things around you. She’s a girl, a gentle, caring girl who is still crazy about a boy. And what you’re doing is selfish. What she’s doing is selfish, too. See, you’re not going to stop using, and she’s not going to stop giving. You’re both addicted. You’re both lighting yourselves on fire, as if you don’t feel the burn.
“If you care anything about her, you’ll stop doing this right now. If you care anything about her heart, you’ll stop yourself from breaking it again. Whatever you two are doing might just be fun and games for you, but for her, it’s more. It’s everything she spent the last few years thinking about. If you end up breaking my friend’s heart, you best believe I will break all of your fingers and toes, one at a time.”
I laughed again, but this time the stern look Lori was giving me made me pause. I swallowed hard. “Okay.”
“But for now, you should get home soon,” she said, opening her book back up. “A big storm is supposed to be moving in over the next few hours.”
I looked up at the sky, the darkened clouds blocking out the moon. Standing, my hands went back to my pockets, and I thanked Lori for the talk.
***
The next day, Kellan asked me to join him and Erika at his therapist appointment, and there was no way I’d say no. I’d do anything he’d ask of me. The only therapist I’d ever spoken to was during my stay at St. Michaels Health and Rehabilitation Clinic. We’d have individual sessions and group sessions where they made us color and shit. I hated it at first, but after time, it helped. Then, sometimes, I’d start hating it again.
I sat beside my brother and his fiancée in Dr. Yang’s office, and I could feel the tension building. Before we left the house, Kellan and Erika had been bickering about small things—a toothpaste tube left on the bathroom countertop, coffee not being finished, Erika’s school books all over the dining room table. I’d never seen them fight before, so it was a bit odd.
“Thank you for joining us today, Logan. I know it means a lot to your brother that you’re here.”
“Yeah, of course.” I patted Kellan on the leg. He gave me a forced smile. “Anything for this dude.”
Dr. Yang nodded, pleased. “I think it’s important to check in every now and then about how things are going. I know Erika mentioned that you moved into the house, which I think could be a good thing for Kellan. Having family around is always helpful. So, how about we go around to see how everyone is doing. Kellan, you start.”
