The Fire Between High & Lo
Page 65
“Just leave me alone!” he hollered, pushing the glass from her, and making it fly to the ground and shatter.
Erika leaned back, grimacing. Her lips trembled as her breaths sawed in and out. She placed the pill on the bathroom sink. “It’s right there if you need it.”
After I helped Kellan back to his bedroom, he took the pill from me. I took a few tentative steps toward the kitchen, where I found Erika going through her cabinets. In front of her was a box of new glassware, which she was unloading.
“Erika, he’s just tired.”
She nodded repeatedly, pawing her hands through her hair. “Yeah, I know. I know. It’s fine. I just wanted to get these glasses switched in before morning. I’m so glad I bought these. I knew they’d come in handy, and they are actually better than the ones before. Stronger. I don’t know why I didn’t switch before.”
She closed the box after all of the glasses were switched, and headed for the living room, where she stood with her hands on her hips, blankly staring ahead.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I think if I move the sofa to face the east wall, more people could see the television. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Erika.”
“Or maybe I should buy a new television. I saw a sale in the paper and—”
“Erika, come on. Go to bed.”
“No. No. It’s fine. I have to clean up the glass in the bathroom. It was seriously so lucky I had the replacements.”
“Erika.”
She burst into sobs, covering her face. Jesus. “Why isn’t he like that with you, huh?! Why doesn’t he yell… Why doesn’t he…”
“I left before and had no plans on coming back. He probably thinks I’ll leave again. Or worse, that I’ll start using.”
“I’m broken. I’m so broken. I’m not prepared for school to start. I failed my summer night class. Failed. I never failed anything in my life. And now Kellan’s mean. Mean. Kellan has never been mean. I don’t know how much more I can take.” She continued to sob, and I wrapped my arms around her.
I wasn’t sure what to say, or what kind of comfort to deliver her. She wasn’t wrong. It seemed each passing day, Kellan grew darker and darker toward her, pushing her away. “Do you want to smoke some weed?”
She pulled away from me and cocked her head, shaking it. “No, Logan. I do not want to smoke some weed.”
“Okay.”
Silence.
“Do you want to get drunk?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes at me, pinched her bottom lip, and swayed, debating.
***
We’d sat on her patio for the past forty-five minutes, and for the first time ever, I witnessed a drunken Erika. Her laughter echoed through their backyard, and every now and then she’d snort before taking a swig from her bottle of whiskey. I smoked a joint which mellowed me out.
“You’re the best,” she said, slapping my leg.
“You hate my guts.”
“I do. I hate your guts.” She reached for the joint between my lips, and I pinched my lips around it, refusing to let it go.
“I think you should just stick to your whiskey.”
“‘I think you should just stick to your whiskey,’” she mocked me, before laughing again. “You know what I hate most about you?”
“What’s that?”
“Everyone loves you, no matter what you do.”
“Bullshit.”
“No.” She nodded. “Really. Especially Kellan and my sister. They think you are some kind of god. Logan Silverstone can do no wrong! They both love you more than they could ever love me.”
I frowned. “That’s not true.”
“No, it is. I mean, let’s face the facts. You crashed Kellan’s car. You almost burnt down my first apartment. You broke my sister’s heart when you drove into a building. You ran away, ignored her for years, and still—she’d freaking marry you tomorrow if you asked. Kellan didn’t go a day without mentioning your name. Your mom cried every day after you left. She even managed to get clean for a while because she wanted to make you proud, before your crazy father dragged her back into that crap and landed her into the hospital. Screw whatever kind of crap you used that send you to rehab. The truth is, the biggest drug in this small circle of people is you. They are addicted to you, and they won’t stop using.”
My throat went dry, and it became hard to swallow. “What did you just say?”
“Uh, I just said a lot. You want me to repeat it all?”
“No.” My head shook. “The part about my mom. My dad put her in the hospital?”
Erika looked up fast, locking eyes with me. “Oh my gosh.” Her eyes bulged and she shook her head. “Don’t tell them that I mentioned that. Please. They didn’t want you to know, because they didn’t want you to feel guilty for not being there. Please don’t say anything.”
I put out the joint, stood up, and then headed back inside. “Go to bed, Erika.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Alyssa
The next day, Logan asked me to go with him to visit his mom. We stopped by Bro’s Bistro first to pick up some food for her, and as he ran into the restaurant, I waited outside in the car for him. My eyes traveled across the street when I heard yelling from the alley a few steps away from the car.
Opening my door, I started walking in the direction of the sound and my heart leapt out of my skin as I saw Logan’s father standing over Sadie, screaming at her. She was shaking against the concrete wall of the shop next door.
“I’m sorry!” she cried as he raised his hand and slapped her hard across the face. I listened to her whimpering as her body slid down the wall into the fetal position.
“Hey!” I screamed, running down the dark alley, toward the two. “Back off,” I hollered at him.
He boxed Sadie in with his arms and glanced my way. His eyes were bloodshot and cold, vicious. “Fuck off,” he ordered.
Sadie’s eyes met mine with nothing but fear. The bruises slowly forming on her face made my stomach twist. I didn’t know what else to do as I watched him bend down and whisper something in her ear that made her cringe with fright. “Leave her alone, jerk!” I screamed.
His hands wrapped around Sadie’s wrists and he started pulling her in the opposite direction of me. “You stupid bitch,” he muttered to her, dragging her beside him. Without thought, I rushed down the alley and shoved him from behind. “Let her go!” I screamed, slamming my fist into his back.
Erika leaned back, grimacing. Her lips trembled as her breaths sawed in and out. She placed the pill on the bathroom sink. “It’s right there if you need it.”
After I helped Kellan back to his bedroom, he took the pill from me. I took a few tentative steps toward the kitchen, where I found Erika going through her cabinets. In front of her was a box of new glassware, which she was unloading.
“Erika, he’s just tired.”
She nodded repeatedly, pawing her hands through her hair. “Yeah, I know. I know. It’s fine. I just wanted to get these glasses switched in before morning. I’m so glad I bought these. I knew they’d come in handy, and they are actually better than the ones before. Stronger. I don’t know why I didn’t switch before.”
She closed the box after all of the glasses were switched, and headed for the living room, where she stood with her hands on her hips, blankly staring ahead.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I think if I move the sofa to face the east wall, more people could see the television. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”
“Erika.”
“Or maybe I should buy a new television. I saw a sale in the paper and—”
“Erika, come on. Go to bed.”
“No. No. It’s fine. I have to clean up the glass in the bathroom. It was seriously so lucky I had the replacements.”
“Erika.”
She burst into sobs, covering her face. Jesus. “Why isn’t he like that with you, huh?! Why doesn’t he yell… Why doesn’t he…”
“I left before and had no plans on coming back. He probably thinks I’ll leave again. Or worse, that I’ll start using.”
“I’m broken. I’m so broken. I’m not prepared for school to start. I failed my summer night class. Failed. I never failed anything in my life. And now Kellan’s mean. Mean. Kellan has never been mean. I don’t know how much more I can take.” She continued to sob, and I wrapped my arms around her.
I wasn’t sure what to say, or what kind of comfort to deliver her. She wasn’t wrong. It seemed each passing day, Kellan grew darker and darker toward her, pushing her away. “Do you want to smoke some weed?”
She pulled away from me and cocked her head, shaking it. “No, Logan. I do not want to smoke some weed.”
“Okay.”
Silence.
“Do you want to get drunk?” I asked.
She narrowed her eyes at me, pinched her bottom lip, and swayed, debating.
***
We’d sat on her patio for the past forty-five minutes, and for the first time ever, I witnessed a drunken Erika. Her laughter echoed through their backyard, and every now and then she’d snort before taking a swig from her bottle of whiskey. I smoked a joint which mellowed me out.
“You’re the best,” she said, slapping my leg.
“You hate my guts.”
“I do. I hate your guts.” She reached for the joint between my lips, and I pinched my lips around it, refusing to let it go.
“I think you should just stick to your whiskey.”
“‘I think you should just stick to your whiskey,’” she mocked me, before laughing again. “You know what I hate most about you?”
“What’s that?”
“Everyone loves you, no matter what you do.”
“Bullshit.”
“No.” She nodded. “Really. Especially Kellan and my sister. They think you are some kind of god. Logan Silverstone can do no wrong! They both love you more than they could ever love me.”
I frowned. “That’s not true.”
“No, it is. I mean, let’s face the facts. You crashed Kellan’s car. You almost burnt down my first apartment. You broke my sister’s heart when you drove into a building. You ran away, ignored her for years, and still—she’d freaking marry you tomorrow if you asked. Kellan didn’t go a day without mentioning your name. Your mom cried every day after you left. She even managed to get clean for a while because she wanted to make you proud, before your crazy father dragged her back into that crap and landed her into the hospital. Screw whatever kind of crap you used that send you to rehab. The truth is, the biggest drug in this small circle of people is you. They are addicted to you, and they won’t stop using.”
My throat went dry, and it became hard to swallow. “What did you just say?”
“Uh, I just said a lot. You want me to repeat it all?”
“No.” My head shook. “The part about my mom. My dad put her in the hospital?”
Erika looked up fast, locking eyes with me. “Oh my gosh.” Her eyes bulged and she shook her head. “Don’t tell them that I mentioned that. Please. They didn’t want you to know, because they didn’t want you to feel guilty for not being there. Please don’t say anything.”
I put out the joint, stood up, and then headed back inside. “Go to bed, Erika.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Alyssa
The next day, Logan asked me to go with him to visit his mom. We stopped by Bro’s Bistro first to pick up some food for her, and as he ran into the restaurant, I waited outside in the car for him. My eyes traveled across the street when I heard yelling from the alley a few steps away from the car.
Opening my door, I started walking in the direction of the sound and my heart leapt out of my skin as I saw Logan’s father standing over Sadie, screaming at her. She was shaking against the concrete wall of the shop next door.
“I’m sorry!” she cried as he raised his hand and slapped her hard across the face. I listened to her whimpering as her body slid down the wall into the fetal position.
“Hey!” I screamed, running down the dark alley, toward the two. “Back off,” I hollered at him.
He boxed Sadie in with his arms and glanced my way. His eyes were bloodshot and cold, vicious. “Fuck off,” he ordered.
Sadie’s eyes met mine with nothing but fear. The bruises slowly forming on her face made my stomach twist. I didn’t know what else to do as I watched him bend down and whisper something in her ear that made her cringe with fright. “Leave her alone, jerk!” I screamed.
His hands wrapped around Sadie’s wrists and he started pulling her in the opposite direction of me. “You stupid bitch,” he muttered to her, dragging her beside him. Without thought, I rushed down the alley and shoved him from behind. “Let her go!” I screamed, slamming my fist into his back.
