The Gravity of Us
Page 57
“No! No, it’s not okay,” she said, turning her body around to face me. “We were going to backpack across Europe. We started saving up when she got sick. We started a ‘Negative Thoughts’ jar and every time we thought something negative about her diagnosis or fear took over our minds, we had to put a coin in the jar. After the first week, the jar was filled to the brim, and we had to get another jar. She wanted to go right after she was in remission, but I was too scared. I was afraid she might not be strong enough, that it might be too soon, so I kept her home. I kept her locked away, because I wasn’t strong enough to get on a plane with her.” I swallowed hard. “And now she’s not talking to me, and I’m not talking to her. She’s my best friend.”
“She’ll come around.”
“I invited her today, for Talon’s party. That’s what started the argument.”
“Why was that an issue?”
“She…” Lucy’s voice cracked and she took a deep breath as we stood just inches apart. “She thinks this is all wrong, you and me, Talon. She thinks it’s weird.”
“It is weird,” I told her. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not right.”
“She told me you’re not mine. She said you’re not mine to love.”
Before I could reply, the doorbell rang, and she tore herself away from me, finding a fake smile to plaster on her face. “It’s fine, really. I’m just upset that I burned the cake. I’ll get the door.”
I stood there, staring at the cake, and then I pulled out a knife to see if perhaps I could somehow save it by scraping off some of the inedible parts. Lucy needed a win that day. She needed something to make her smile.
“Oh my God,” I heard from the other room. Lucy’s voice sounded terrified, and when I walked into the living room, I knew exactly why.
“Jane,” I muttered, staring at her standing in my doorway with a teddy bear and a gift in her other hand. “What the hell are you doing here?”
She parted her lips to speak, but then her eyes traveled back to Lucy. “What are you doing here?” she asked her, a bit of a sting lacing her words. “Why on earth would you be here?”
“I…” Lucy started, but I could tell her nerves were too shaken for words to come out.
“Jane, what are you doing here?” I asked her once more.
“I…” Her voice shook the same way Lucy’s had a moment before. “I wanted to see my daughter.”
“Your daughter?” I huffed, stunned by the nerve she had to walk into my home and use those words.
“I…can we talk, Graham?” Jane asked. Her eyes darted to Lucy, and she narrowed them. “Alone?”
“Anything you say can be said in front of Lucille,” I told her.
Lucy’s already bruised heart was taking another beating. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go. I should probably get some work done at the floral shop, anyway. I’ll just grab my coat.”
As she walked past me, I lightly grabbed her arm and whispered, “You do not have to go.”
She nodded her head slowly. “I just think it’s best if you two talk. I don’t want to cause any more issues.”
She gave my hand a light squeeze then let go. When she grabbed her coat, she walked straight out of the house without another word, and the room somehow filled with darkness.
“What is it you want, Jane?”
“It’s been a year, Graham. I just want to see her.”
“What makes you think you have any right to see her? You abandoned her.”
“I was scared.”
“You were selfish.”
She grimaced and shifted around in her shoes. “Still, you need to let me see her. As her mother, I deserve that much. It’s my right.”
“Mother?” I hissed, my gut filled with disgust. Being a mother didn’t simply mean giving birth. Being a mother meant late-night feedings. Being a mother meant sleeping next to a crib because your child was sick and you needed to watch their breaths. Being a mother meant knowing Talon hated teddy bears. Being a mother meant you stayed.
Jane was not a mother, not for a minute.
She was a stranger to my child. A stranger in my house.
A stranger to me.
“You need to leave,” I told her, uneasy about the fact that she apparently believed she could walk back into our lives after all this time.
“Are you sleeping with Lucy?” she questioned, throwing me for a complete loop.
“Excuse me?” I felt it form in my gut and start rising to my throat—my anger. “You abandoned your daughter months ago. You left without more than a bullshit note. You didn’t take a second to look back once. Yet now, you think you have the right to ask me something like that? No, Jane. You don’t get to ask me questions.”
She pushed her shoulders back. Although she stood tall in her high heels, there was a tremble in her voice. “I don’t want her near my child.”
I walked over to the front door and opened it. “Goodbye, Jane.”
“I’m your wife, Graham. Talon shouldn’t be around someone like Lucy. She’s a toxic person. I deserve—”
“Nothing!” I hollered, my voice hitting a new height of anger, panic, and disgust. “You deserve nothing.” She’d crossed a line by using the word wife. She’d crossed a bigger line by speaking ill of Lucy, the one who had stayed. She’d crossed the biggest line by saying how Talon should be raised. “Leave!” I shouted once more. The second I hollered, Talon started crying and I swallowed hard.
I had grown up in a home with screaming, and it was the last thing I ever wanted my daughter to witness.
My voice dropped low. “Please, Jane. Just go.”
She stepped outside, her head still held high. “Think about what you’re about to do, Graham. If you slam this door, it means we must fight. If you slam this door, it means there’s going to be a war.”
With no thought needed, I replied, “I’ll have my lawyers call yours.”
With that, I slammed the door.
“Lyric’s back in town,” I said, hurrying into Monet’s Gardens where Mari was putting together a new window display.
She glanced over at me and gave me a small nod. “Yeah, I know.”
“She’ll come around.”
“I invited her today, for Talon’s party. That’s what started the argument.”
“Why was that an issue?”
“She…” Lucy’s voice cracked and she took a deep breath as we stood just inches apart. “She thinks this is all wrong, you and me, Talon. She thinks it’s weird.”
“It is weird,” I told her. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not right.”
“She told me you’re not mine. She said you’re not mine to love.”
Before I could reply, the doorbell rang, and she tore herself away from me, finding a fake smile to plaster on her face. “It’s fine, really. I’m just upset that I burned the cake. I’ll get the door.”
I stood there, staring at the cake, and then I pulled out a knife to see if perhaps I could somehow save it by scraping off some of the inedible parts. Lucy needed a win that day. She needed something to make her smile.
“Oh my God,” I heard from the other room. Lucy’s voice sounded terrified, and when I walked into the living room, I knew exactly why.
“Jane,” I muttered, staring at her standing in my doorway with a teddy bear and a gift in her other hand. “What the hell are you doing here?”
She parted her lips to speak, but then her eyes traveled back to Lucy. “What are you doing here?” she asked her, a bit of a sting lacing her words. “Why on earth would you be here?”
“I…” Lucy started, but I could tell her nerves were too shaken for words to come out.
“Jane, what are you doing here?” I asked her once more.
“I…” Her voice shook the same way Lucy’s had a moment before. “I wanted to see my daughter.”
“Your daughter?” I huffed, stunned by the nerve she had to walk into my home and use those words.
“I…can we talk, Graham?” Jane asked. Her eyes darted to Lucy, and she narrowed them. “Alone?”
“Anything you say can be said in front of Lucille,” I told her.
Lucy’s already bruised heart was taking another beating. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go. I should probably get some work done at the floral shop, anyway. I’ll just grab my coat.”
As she walked past me, I lightly grabbed her arm and whispered, “You do not have to go.”
She nodded her head slowly. “I just think it’s best if you two talk. I don’t want to cause any more issues.”
She gave my hand a light squeeze then let go. When she grabbed her coat, she walked straight out of the house without another word, and the room somehow filled with darkness.
“What is it you want, Jane?”
“It’s been a year, Graham. I just want to see her.”
“What makes you think you have any right to see her? You abandoned her.”
“I was scared.”
“You were selfish.”
She grimaced and shifted around in her shoes. “Still, you need to let me see her. As her mother, I deserve that much. It’s my right.”
“Mother?” I hissed, my gut filled with disgust. Being a mother didn’t simply mean giving birth. Being a mother meant late-night feedings. Being a mother meant sleeping next to a crib because your child was sick and you needed to watch their breaths. Being a mother meant knowing Talon hated teddy bears. Being a mother meant you stayed.
Jane was not a mother, not for a minute.
She was a stranger to my child. A stranger in my house.
A stranger to me.
“You need to leave,” I told her, uneasy about the fact that she apparently believed she could walk back into our lives after all this time.
“Are you sleeping with Lucy?” she questioned, throwing me for a complete loop.
“Excuse me?” I felt it form in my gut and start rising to my throat—my anger. “You abandoned your daughter months ago. You left without more than a bullshit note. You didn’t take a second to look back once. Yet now, you think you have the right to ask me something like that? No, Jane. You don’t get to ask me questions.”
She pushed her shoulders back. Although she stood tall in her high heels, there was a tremble in her voice. “I don’t want her near my child.”
I walked over to the front door and opened it. “Goodbye, Jane.”
“I’m your wife, Graham. Talon shouldn’t be around someone like Lucy. She’s a toxic person. I deserve—”
“Nothing!” I hollered, my voice hitting a new height of anger, panic, and disgust. “You deserve nothing.” She’d crossed a line by using the word wife. She’d crossed a bigger line by speaking ill of Lucy, the one who had stayed. She’d crossed the biggest line by saying how Talon should be raised. “Leave!” I shouted once more. The second I hollered, Talon started crying and I swallowed hard.
I had grown up in a home with screaming, and it was the last thing I ever wanted my daughter to witness.
My voice dropped low. “Please, Jane. Just go.”
She stepped outside, her head still held high. “Think about what you’re about to do, Graham. If you slam this door, it means we must fight. If you slam this door, it means there’s going to be a war.”
With no thought needed, I replied, “I’ll have my lawyers call yours.”
With that, I slammed the door.
“Lyric’s back in town,” I said, hurrying into Monet’s Gardens where Mari was putting together a new window display.
She glanced over at me and gave me a small nod. “Yeah, I know.”
