The Heart's Ashes
Page 105
“Yes.” Her shudder came from way too deep for comfort—the kind of place that experience rests. Whatever David told her, it must’ve been some story.
“Em...what will happen if I bite him?”
“Not much. Major pain. Possible coma, or temporary paralysing. That’s pretty much it.”
“Then, if that’s all, why the shuddering?”
“Because the bite and the venom isn’t the problem. It’s what the Lilithians do...after.”
“And you think I’ll do that?”
“No way.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Ara, you’re not going to give just enough venom to lock his limbs down, sensation remaining, then cut him in places guys don’t want to be cut.” She pushed up on her elbows. “Are you?”
A numb tingling in my head erased the smile from my lips. “God, no!”
“Then there’s not much to worry about. Except a mighty pissed off vampire waking from a venom-coma with a mass hangover.” Emily cackled at the idea.
“Not funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, it’s immortality—in whatever form. We’ll just have to deal with it.” I shrugged.
“It’s a pity you can’t be a vampire like David and I. We’re so much cooler. We have better powers, we’re faster, stronger—we rule.” Emily grinned, but it quickly fell away as she dropped her hands over her belly and sighed, looking at the ceiling again.
“What is it, Em?”
“I still can’t believe Jason did this to me.” She traced a finger down the clear vein in her arm. “I can’t believe he’s such a monster. I used to cry myself to sleep over him—nearly every night, you know.”
“Why did he do it?” I asked cautiously. “What did you say to him to make him that mad?”
“I slapped him.” She absentmindedly rubbed her hand. “Told him he’s a beast—that no matter what he does in this world, no matter how he tries to absolve himself, I’d make sure I hate him for the rest of my days.”
I closed my eyes, seeing Jason’s face, the way those words would’ve wounded him so, so deeply. The way he said to me Everyone, Ara, everyone I love turned against me rang through my soul. But my mind rejected the compassion with a figurative, internal regurgitation. “And what did he say?”
“He said that maybe I just need some more time to think about it—and he grabbed me.”
“Was Mike there when Jason attacked you?”
Emily nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “He tried to save me. He fought him, but Jason just pushed him aside, told him to back off.”
“And Mike backed off?” I sat up, my arms straight behind me, holding me up.
“God, no.” Emily scoffed. “Jason pushed him out and locked the door.”
“Really?” He could’ve killed him, rendered him useless, paralysed, but just...locked him out?
“Yeah. Weird, huh? I don’t think he wanted to kill me, Ara. He only bit me once. I mean, he tore my whole damn throat out, but if he wanted me dead, he sure as hell could have and...would have.”
“So, you think he deliberately turned you?”
“That’s the only conclusion I can draw.” Something in her tone suggested she’d thought about it many, many times.
Neither of us said a word for a few minutes. I imagined her mind raced with confusion, while mine raced with empathy—for Jason. When he lost Emily, when she turned on him as well, he would’ve been shattered. In some small way, all I want is to help him, restore his faith that people can love—unconditionally.
“Em?” I hesitated. “I know you’re mad at him, but Jason’s still a good man.”
She looked at me; her eyes alight with confusion. “What?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…he saved me.”
“Saved you?” She rolled over and propped her head up with the palm of her hand—her face just in front of mine.
“Yes. A few weeks ago, Eric took me to Karnivale. You heard of it?”
“Yeah. David told me about it.”
“Well, when Eric went to get a drink, I sort of got in trouble. Jason found me there—fought for me, then he...he took me home.”
“What!”
“I know. I was totally weirded out.”
“So...I mean, did he say anything to you. I—I can’t get my head around this.” She touched her temple. “Why? I mean, why would he save you?”
Oh, awkward moment. “He saved me, because he never really wanted me dead.”
“Ara, he tried to kill you.”
“No. He set out for revenge on David. My death was a part of that, but, he couldn’t do it. He told me he wants revenge still, but not by hurting me.”
She swallowed hard, her eyes glassing. “That sounds more like my Jason.”
Sounds more like my Jason, too. I watched her expression go from thought to sadness to crumpling.
“I’m sorry, Em.” I tried to pull her hands away from her face, but she shook her head.
“I’m okay. I’m—I’m okay.”
“He was a good guy, wasn’t he?” I said sympathetically.
She nodded, taking a breath and wiping her hands down her face. “He was. That’s why I never understood his leaving me.”
“Really?” My brows arched, humour stealing my compassion. “You haven’t caught on yet?”
She shook her head.
“The Set—leaving for winter...rules.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Oh.” She sat up, thought completely changing her face. “My God. Why didn’t I put that together?”
“You’ve had other things to think about.”
“So—he—” She looked at me. “Do you think he felt the same as me? Do you think maybe—”
I took her hand; she shushed. “Em. I know it killed him. I know he tried to fight for the right to change you, bring you with him or get leave for eighty years, but...he was overruled.”
“But...his own brother was on the council!” She looked at my door. “Couldn’t David have helped?”
Gulp. “Em, it was David who overruled him.”
“Em...what will happen if I bite him?”
“Not much. Major pain. Possible coma, or temporary paralysing. That’s pretty much it.”
“Then, if that’s all, why the shuddering?”
“Because the bite and the venom isn’t the problem. It’s what the Lilithians do...after.”
“And you think I’ll do that?”
“No way.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Ara, you’re not going to give just enough venom to lock his limbs down, sensation remaining, then cut him in places guys don’t want to be cut.” She pushed up on her elbows. “Are you?”
A numb tingling in my head erased the smile from my lips. “God, no!”
“Then there’s not much to worry about. Except a mighty pissed off vampire waking from a venom-coma with a mass hangover.” Emily cackled at the idea.
“Not funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, it’s immortality—in whatever form. We’ll just have to deal with it.” I shrugged.
“It’s a pity you can’t be a vampire like David and I. We’re so much cooler. We have better powers, we’re faster, stronger—we rule.” Emily grinned, but it quickly fell away as she dropped her hands over her belly and sighed, looking at the ceiling again.
“What is it, Em?”
“I still can’t believe Jason did this to me.” She traced a finger down the clear vein in her arm. “I can’t believe he’s such a monster. I used to cry myself to sleep over him—nearly every night, you know.”
“Why did he do it?” I asked cautiously. “What did you say to him to make him that mad?”
“I slapped him.” She absentmindedly rubbed her hand. “Told him he’s a beast—that no matter what he does in this world, no matter how he tries to absolve himself, I’d make sure I hate him for the rest of my days.”
I closed my eyes, seeing Jason’s face, the way those words would’ve wounded him so, so deeply. The way he said to me Everyone, Ara, everyone I love turned against me rang through my soul. But my mind rejected the compassion with a figurative, internal regurgitation. “And what did he say?”
“He said that maybe I just need some more time to think about it—and he grabbed me.”
“Was Mike there when Jason attacked you?”
Emily nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “He tried to save me. He fought him, but Jason just pushed him aside, told him to back off.”
“And Mike backed off?” I sat up, my arms straight behind me, holding me up.
“God, no.” Emily scoffed. “Jason pushed him out and locked the door.”
“Really?” He could’ve killed him, rendered him useless, paralysed, but just...locked him out?
“Yeah. Weird, huh? I don’t think he wanted to kill me, Ara. He only bit me once. I mean, he tore my whole damn throat out, but if he wanted me dead, he sure as hell could have and...would have.”
“So, you think he deliberately turned you?”
“That’s the only conclusion I can draw.” Something in her tone suggested she’d thought about it many, many times.
Neither of us said a word for a few minutes. I imagined her mind raced with confusion, while mine raced with empathy—for Jason. When he lost Emily, when she turned on him as well, he would’ve been shattered. In some small way, all I want is to help him, restore his faith that people can love—unconditionally.
“Em?” I hesitated. “I know you’re mad at him, but Jason’s still a good man.”
She looked at me; her eyes alight with confusion. “What?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…he saved me.”
“Saved you?” She rolled over and propped her head up with the palm of her hand—her face just in front of mine.
“Yes. A few weeks ago, Eric took me to Karnivale. You heard of it?”
“Yeah. David told me about it.”
“Well, when Eric went to get a drink, I sort of got in trouble. Jason found me there—fought for me, then he...he took me home.”
“What!”
“I know. I was totally weirded out.”
“So...I mean, did he say anything to you. I—I can’t get my head around this.” She touched her temple. “Why? I mean, why would he save you?”
Oh, awkward moment. “He saved me, because he never really wanted me dead.”
“Ara, he tried to kill you.”
“No. He set out for revenge on David. My death was a part of that, but, he couldn’t do it. He told me he wants revenge still, but not by hurting me.”
She swallowed hard, her eyes glassing. “That sounds more like my Jason.”
Sounds more like my Jason, too. I watched her expression go from thought to sadness to crumpling.
“I’m sorry, Em.” I tried to pull her hands away from her face, but she shook her head.
“I’m okay. I’m—I’m okay.”
“He was a good guy, wasn’t he?” I said sympathetically.
She nodded, taking a breath and wiping her hands down her face. “He was. That’s why I never understood his leaving me.”
“Really?” My brows arched, humour stealing my compassion. “You haven’t caught on yet?”
She shook her head.
“The Set—leaving for winter...rules.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Oh.” She sat up, thought completely changing her face. “My God. Why didn’t I put that together?”
“You’ve had other things to think about.”
“So—he—” She looked at me. “Do you think he felt the same as me? Do you think maybe—”
I took her hand; she shushed. “Em. I know it killed him. I know he tried to fight for the right to change you, bring you with him or get leave for eighty years, but...he was overruled.”
“But...his own brother was on the council!” She looked at my door. “Couldn’t David have helped?”
Gulp. “Em, it was David who overruled him.”
