The Heart's Ashes
Page 13
“You’re not stupid, okay? You were in love—that’s what you do when you’re in love.”
“I don’t understand love.” She sat up, wiping her face with both hands. “How can it be called love if it’s one-sided?”
I clicked my tongue. “It’s not love if it’s one-sided, Emily. And love…it…well, it doesn’t mean happiness—that’s not its definition.”
“Then what is?”
“I don’t know, but when I figure it out I’ll tell you.”
The night wore on, but the Sandman never came to take me away. I sat with my head against the wall behind me, the back of my bed sticking into my neck and an upturned book on my lap. Every now and then, I could still hear the feint murmur of the tears that refused to let Emily forget, but even though my heart went out to her, the words Eric said to me earlier owned more of my attention.
I studied the deep lines in my palm, tracing a finger over the changed paths. I wished I were a palm reader so I could read them for a clue, a sign that I might one day be happy. Seeing Emily lose everything she thought was real in her world put things into perspective for me; risk. Emily risked her heart to love Spence, and he betrayed her. She placed her most precious asset in his hands and watched as he crushed it before her eyes. And she never saw it coming, never even had a clue—just followed love blindly. Like we all do. So pathetically blind. Emily will never get past this—not after Jason leaving her the way he did as well. She’s just another tainted girl, ruined for the next man that could have deserved her.
I closed my hand and shook my head. After what happened to Emily tonight, I know I have to stick to my decision to stay single. Eric’s nice, but he’s not David. He’ll never be David, and so, I’ll never love him. But the lure of stringing him along to get inside info on David is a little enticing. I just don’t know if I can be that mean.
A loud bang forced a shriek from my lips and sent my book flying onto the floor.
What the hell?
The noise came again, louder, and without my panicked reaction this time, revealed itself as a knock on the door. The last digit on my clock changed from a nine to a zero, marking the hour as three. Three! Who the hell would that be at three in the morning?
Suddenly, Emily’s scream echoed into the dark street outside. I threw my covers off and ran for the door, calling for her as I stumbled into the front entrance. But instead of fighting off a man with a gun, I stopped mid-step and covered my mouth, nearly falling to my knees at the sight of Emily wrapped completely around the neck of a tall, well-built man. “Ara,” he said, reaching his other arm out to me.
A cocktail of reactions flooded my motionless body. Still shaken with fear from Emily’s scream, my heart tensed, then warmed at the sight of my best friend—the guy I was supposed to marry. “Mike!”
“The one and only.” He ushered me to the hug with a half-grin.
Slowly, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him and Emily. “What’re you doing here?”
“Looking for a place to crash.”
“Why?” I said, removing myself from his arms.
“Missed you too much.” He shrugged then picked up his bag. “I’m moving to New England. Got a job interview in a week.”
“Uh—” I pushed my hair from my face. Oh, my God. What do I say?
We both looked at Emily then, who still had not stopped crying; she laughed, wiping away the tears as she stepped back from Mike. “Sorry.”
He frowned down at her. “Em? You okay? I’ve only been gone four months.”
A burst of tears and laughter shot through her lips. “I’m fine,” she said, “I just broke up with Spence last night.”
“What?” Mike dropped his bag and pulled her in for another hug. “Why?”
“Rebecca,” we both stated at the same time, then burst out laughing.
Mike stared between the two of us, looking a little confused.
“Come in.” I groaned and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll make some tea.”
There’s never any parking in this damn town.
I whizzed into a small, oddly angled space just in front of a café, then nearly dropped my bag and keys trying to coordinate checking my watch as well as getting out of the car; ten-past-nine. So much for the student I’m supposed to have at nine.
The long line of cafes and shops made the lengthy pathway to my workplace feel like a catwalk in front of judging eyes, like they all knew me, knew I was late.
When I caught my reflection above an ad for juice, I stopped dead, and the words blurred then transformed into “Haggard.”
“You’re right,” I said to the girl in the reflection, moving the finger of correction over my pasty skin and the bags under my eyes. But, as expected, it did nothing to fix my advertised haggardness. Instead, the lip-gloss came out of the bag, and I used the window as a reflection to smudge a tidy line of red along my lips—bringing out the blue in my eyes, if nothing else.
The satisfactory exhale I used next turned to a short gasp, as my newly-brightened eyes became round and my cheeks changed to match my red lips at the sight of a familiar face staring back at me from beyond the glass. I drew back, a heat wave of mortification rushing through me, and offered only a half-smile to his enthusiastic wave. Then, I practically bolted. Being this late, I really didn’t have time to stand around chatting.
“Hey.” But he caught up anyway.
“Oh, hey, Eric.” I threw my bag over my shoulder, walking a little faster.
“Are you avoiding me?”
“No. I’m just late. I have a student.” And yes—because you make me want to forget my plan to stay single.
“Student?”
“Yes. I teach piano, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. Well,” he said, “mind if I walk with you?”
“No, as long as you can walk fast.”
Eric laughed.
Oh right, that’s a pretty stupid thing to say to a vampire.
“So...if I ask you another question, will you say yes?” he said.
“Why?”
“Because you just said no, then yes, then no.” He smirked. “It was funny. I wanted to make you do it again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Then, no.”
“Won’t work now, you already broke the pattern with why.”
“I don’t understand love.” She sat up, wiping her face with both hands. “How can it be called love if it’s one-sided?”
I clicked my tongue. “It’s not love if it’s one-sided, Emily. And love…it…well, it doesn’t mean happiness—that’s not its definition.”
“Then what is?”
“I don’t know, but when I figure it out I’ll tell you.”
The night wore on, but the Sandman never came to take me away. I sat with my head against the wall behind me, the back of my bed sticking into my neck and an upturned book on my lap. Every now and then, I could still hear the feint murmur of the tears that refused to let Emily forget, but even though my heart went out to her, the words Eric said to me earlier owned more of my attention.
I studied the deep lines in my palm, tracing a finger over the changed paths. I wished I were a palm reader so I could read them for a clue, a sign that I might one day be happy. Seeing Emily lose everything she thought was real in her world put things into perspective for me; risk. Emily risked her heart to love Spence, and he betrayed her. She placed her most precious asset in his hands and watched as he crushed it before her eyes. And she never saw it coming, never even had a clue—just followed love blindly. Like we all do. So pathetically blind. Emily will never get past this—not after Jason leaving her the way he did as well. She’s just another tainted girl, ruined for the next man that could have deserved her.
I closed my hand and shook my head. After what happened to Emily tonight, I know I have to stick to my decision to stay single. Eric’s nice, but he’s not David. He’ll never be David, and so, I’ll never love him. But the lure of stringing him along to get inside info on David is a little enticing. I just don’t know if I can be that mean.
A loud bang forced a shriek from my lips and sent my book flying onto the floor.
What the hell?
The noise came again, louder, and without my panicked reaction this time, revealed itself as a knock on the door. The last digit on my clock changed from a nine to a zero, marking the hour as three. Three! Who the hell would that be at three in the morning?
Suddenly, Emily’s scream echoed into the dark street outside. I threw my covers off and ran for the door, calling for her as I stumbled into the front entrance. But instead of fighting off a man with a gun, I stopped mid-step and covered my mouth, nearly falling to my knees at the sight of Emily wrapped completely around the neck of a tall, well-built man. “Ara,” he said, reaching his other arm out to me.
A cocktail of reactions flooded my motionless body. Still shaken with fear from Emily’s scream, my heart tensed, then warmed at the sight of my best friend—the guy I was supposed to marry. “Mike!”
“The one and only.” He ushered me to the hug with a half-grin.
Slowly, I walked over and wrapped my arms around him and Emily. “What’re you doing here?”
“Looking for a place to crash.”
“Why?” I said, removing myself from his arms.
“Missed you too much.” He shrugged then picked up his bag. “I’m moving to New England. Got a job interview in a week.”
“Uh—” I pushed my hair from my face. Oh, my God. What do I say?
We both looked at Emily then, who still had not stopped crying; she laughed, wiping away the tears as she stepped back from Mike. “Sorry.”
He frowned down at her. “Em? You okay? I’ve only been gone four months.”
A burst of tears and laughter shot through her lips. “I’m fine,” she said, “I just broke up with Spence last night.”
“What?” Mike dropped his bag and pulled her in for another hug. “Why?”
“Rebecca,” we both stated at the same time, then burst out laughing.
Mike stared between the two of us, looking a little confused.
“Come in.” I groaned and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll make some tea.”
There’s never any parking in this damn town.
I whizzed into a small, oddly angled space just in front of a café, then nearly dropped my bag and keys trying to coordinate checking my watch as well as getting out of the car; ten-past-nine. So much for the student I’m supposed to have at nine.
The long line of cafes and shops made the lengthy pathway to my workplace feel like a catwalk in front of judging eyes, like they all knew me, knew I was late.
When I caught my reflection above an ad for juice, I stopped dead, and the words blurred then transformed into “Haggard.”
“You’re right,” I said to the girl in the reflection, moving the finger of correction over my pasty skin and the bags under my eyes. But, as expected, it did nothing to fix my advertised haggardness. Instead, the lip-gloss came out of the bag, and I used the window as a reflection to smudge a tidy line of red along my lips—bringing out the blue in my eyes, if nothing else.
The satisfactory exhale I used next turned to a short gasp, as my newly-brightened eyes became round and my cheeks changed to match my red lips at the sight of a familiar face staring back at me from beyond the glass. I drew back, a heat wave of mortification rushing through me, and offered only a half-smile to his enthusiastic wave. Then, I practically bolted. Being this late, I really didn’t have time to stand around chatting.
“Hey.” But he caught up anyway.
“Oh, hey, Eric.” I threw my bag over my shoulder, walking a little faster.
“Are you avoiding me?”
“No. I’m just late. I have a student.” And yes—because you make me want to forget my plan to stay single.
“Student?”
“Yes. I teach piano, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. Well,” he said, “mind if I walk with you?”
“No, as long as you can walk fast.”
Eric laughed.
Oh right, that’s a pretty stupid thing to say to a vampire.
“So...if I ask you another question, will you say yes?” he said.
“Why?”
“Because you just said no, then yes, then no.” He smirked. “It was funny. I wanted to make you do it again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Then, no.”
“Won’t work now, you already broke the pattern with why.”
