The Heart's Ashes
Page 169
“You never told me you were planning to propose.”
“Couldn’t. Emily would’ve heard.”
“Uh, of course.” I raised the index finger of realisation. “Didn’t think of that.”
“Ara?” Mike breathed out through his nose.
“Just say it,” I prompted. “Whatever it is, Mike. I can take it.”
“I love you,”
“Except that.”
He laughed and placed his arm around my lower back. “You still make me weak at the knees when I look at you, and I wish every day that you’d married me, that none of this ever happened.”
“Hm.”
“Let me finish.” He smiled warmly.
“Okay, so, there was a but?”
“Yes.” He looked at the lake again. “But…I love Emily too much to wish it with all of my heart—does that make me a bad guy?”
I pressed my lips together and snorted out a laugh. “No, Mike. Things are never that simple. Life isn’t always just one or the other. If all of this happened only so that you and Em could find each other—that’s a fate I’m willing to accept.” I grabbed his hand and pulled it around me a little tighter. “I’m okay. David will be okay—one day, and you have Emily. Everything’s perfect.”
“Except we have a Set of blood-lusting psychopaths after us?”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Meh, mozzies, if you ask me.”
“Yes, but, these mozzies are huge and powerful.”
“Well, we’ll deal with that in time. For now—” I wrapped both arms around my best friend, “—I’m just so happy you asked her to marry you. She was always meant to be yours.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, remember? I was gonna set you up with her.”
“She was the blonde?”
“Yeah. Told you you’d like her.”
“You were right.” He chuckled then sobered. “But, Ara? I need to know how you feel. You know, about—” he waved his thumb between the two of us, “about you and I. About us. About me marrying Em.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Do you know…when I touch you, I still have to remind myself that we’re not together.”
“Because of the spirit bind?”
My shoulders sunk a little. “No. Because I love you, Mike—more than I should. Especially since I’m married to David. And I can’t help but to love you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked up at him. “We’re two parts of one whole, you and I. I think, in a way, David and Emily—they make up the other half of us. Like, none of us could exist, if one of us were missing.”
“You know.” Mike nodded. “I think I know exactly what you mean.”
“A love quartet.” I smiled.
“So, are you saying you love Emily?”
“Don’t be silly—not like that.” I slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “But yes, I do love Em. And she loves me—and David.”
“Yeah, she’s always loved David.” Mike rolled his eyes.
“I know.”
“David knows how she feels.” He stared out across the water.
“Does he? He denies it to me—that she feels anything.”
“I know. He doesn’t want you to know. He says there’s nothing for you to worry about, which means you’ll only worry more.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Well, why would he tell you that, and not me?”
“We’re closer than you think, Ar.”
I chuckled. “Got a little bromance goin’ on, huh?”
“Nah, we’re just mates. But I really care about the guy. I, uh—” He shuffled his feet, looking down. “I’d risk my life to save him.”
My heart warmed; I hugged Mike tight. “You’re a good man, Mike. I’m glad you’re marrying Emily.”
“Really?”
I nodded, and we stood quite for a moment, watching a new family of ducks paddle across the lake.
“It means a lot to me, you saying that,” he said.
“It means a lot to me that you’re staying with me forever—to be my knight.”
“Head Knight,” he corrected.
“Right.” I nodded. “Of course.”
“I can’t wait to take you out to Loslilian, Ara. You’re going to love it there.”
“Am I?” I asked, unconvinced.
“Yeah. Give it a chance, baby. Just pretend to want this, for a while, and you never know, you might start to believe it.”
“That’s like saying I’ll become a butterfly if I wish for it long enough.”
“Anything’s possible.”
“Yeah, I suppose. If vampires exist, why shouldn’t hopes and dreams?”
Mike rolled his head down to look at me, his warm, kind eyes taking my soul home inside. “And what would your one hope be, my little negative friend.”
I sighed. “That I’ll wake up soon.”
A whisper-soft tickle glided over my hair, and I breathed deep. “Is it morning already?”
When I lifted my head off the edge of David’s bed, I jumped back instantly—falling onto grass in an open space.
“David?” I scuffled back on my hands, coming to rest against a firm, gristly column. My heart slowed as I took in my surroundings; the field—the one from my dream, and behind me, the tree. “David?” I called again, but he’d obviously stayed behind in the real world.
No one else was here to greet me, no ghost of Jason, no memory of our past. I wondered why my mind brought me here at all, and as I stood, dusting my hands on my pyjama pants, wondered why my mind hadn’t thought of something a little more fashionable than shabby pink and blue pyjamas.
The night was dark and still, no crickets, no…life. I wandered forward, squinting to make out what I thought was a light, far off in the centre of the field. “Hello?” I called, spinning slowly to search every corner of the pretty sanctuary.
As I drew closer to the light, voices lilted out over the silence.
I stopped dead, listening.
“Give it back!” a child called.
“Make me.” Another laughed.
Cautiously, with quiet breaths and fairy-soft footfalls, I walked toward them, hoping this wasn’t another Immortal Damned dream.
“Couldn’t. Emily would’ve heard.”
“Uh, of course.” I raised the index finger of realisation. “Didn’t think of that.”
“Ara?” Mike breathed out through his nose.
“Just say it,” I prompted. “Whatever it is, Mike. I can take it.”
“I love you,”
“Except that.”
He laughed and placed his arm around my lower back. “You still make me weak at the knees when I look at you, and I wish every day that you’d married me, that none of this ever happened.”
“Hm.”
“Let me finish.” He smiled warmly.
“Okay, so, there was a but?”
“Yes.” He looked at the lake again. “But…I love Emily too much to wish it with all of my heart—does that make me a bad guy?”
I pressed my lips together and snorted out a laugh. “No, Mike. Things are never that simple. Life isn’t always just one or the other. If all of this happened only so that you and Em could find each other—that’s a fate I’m willing to accept.” I grabbed his hand and pulled it around me a little tighter. “I’m okay. David will be okay—one day, and you have Emily. Everything’s perfect.”
“Except we have a Set of blood-lusting psychopaths after us?”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Meh, mozzies, if you ask me.”
“Yes, but, these mozzies are huge and powerful.”
“Well, we’ll deal with that in time. For now—” I wrapped both arms around my best friend, “—I’m just so happy you asked her to marry you. She was always meant to be yours.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, remember? I was gonna set you up with her.”
“She was the blonde?”
“Yeah. Told you you’d like her.”
“You were right.” He chuckled then sobered. “But, Ara? I need to know how you feel. You know, about—” he waved his thumb between the two of us, “about you and I. About us. About me marrying Em.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Do you know…when I touch you, I still have to remind myself that we’re not together.”
“Because of the spirit bind?”
My shoulders sunk a little. “No. Because I love you, Mike—more than I should. Especially since I’m married to David. And I can’t help but to love you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked up at him. “We’re two parts of one whole, you and I. I think, in a way, David and Emily—they make up the other half of us. Like, none of us could exist, if one of us were missing.”
“You know.” Mike nodded. “I think I know exactly what you mean.”
“A love quartet.” I smiled.
“So, are you saying you love Emily?”
“Don’t be silly—not like that.” I slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “But yes, I do love Em. And she loves me—and David.”
“Yeah, she’s always loved David.” Mike rolled his eyes.
“I know.”
“David knows how she feels.” He stared out across the water.
“Does he? He denies it to me—that she feels anything.”
“I know. He doesn’t want you to know. He says there’s nothing for you to worry about, which means you’ll only worry more.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Well, why would he tell you that, and not me?”
“We’re closer than you think, Ar.”
I chuckled. “Got a little bromance goin’ on, huh?”
“Nah, we’re just mates. But I really care about the guy. I, uh—” He shuffled his feet, looking down. “I’d risk my life to save him.”
My heart warmed; I hugged Mike tight. “You’re a good man, Mike. I’m glad you’re marrying Emily.”
“Really?”
I nodded, and we stood quite for a moment, watching a new family of ducks paddle across the lake.
“It means a lot to me, you saying that,” he said.
“It means a lot to me that you’re staying with me forever—to be my knight.”
“Head Knight,” he corrected.
“Right.” I nodded. “Of course.”
“I can’t wait to take you out to Loslilian, Ara. You’re going to love it there.”
“Am I?” I asked, unconvinced.
“Yeah. Give it a chance, baby. Just pretend to want this, for a while, and you never know, you might start to believe it.”
“That’s like saying I’ll become a butterfly if I wish for it long enough.”
“Anything’s possible.”
“Yeah, I suppose. If vampires exist, why shouldn’t hopes and dreams?”
Mike rolled his head down to look at me, his warm, kind eyes taking my soul home inside. “And what would your one hope be, my little negative friend.”
I sighed. “That I’ll wake up soon.”
A whisper-soft tickle glided over my hair, and I breathed deep. “Is it morning already?”
When I lifted my head off the edge of David’s bed, I jumped back instantly—falling onto grass in an open space.
“David?” I scuffled back on my hands, coming to rest against a firm, gristly column. My heart slowed as I took in my surroundings; the field—the one from my dream, and behind me, the tree. “David?” I called again, but he’d obviously stayed behind in the real world.
No one else was here to greet me, no ghost of Jason, no memory of our past. I wondered why my mind brought me here at all, and as I stood, dusting my hands on my pyjama pants, wondered why my mind hadn’t thought of something a little more fashionable than shabby pink and blue pyjamas.
The night was dark and still, no crickets, no…life. I wandered forward, squinting to make out what I thought was a light, far off in the centre of the field. “Hello?” I called, spinning slowly to search every corner of the pretty sanctuary.
As I drew closer to the light, voices lilted out over the silence.
I stopped dead, listening.
“Give it back!” a child called.
“Make me.” Another laughed.
Cautiously, with quiet breaths and fairy-soft footfalls, I walked toward them, hoping this wasn’t another Immortal Damned dream.
