The Heart's Ashes
Page 173
“Amara?” I smiled.
“Sorry. That’s what they all call you. Guess it’s rubbing off.”
“Mike, don’t worry about me, okay?” I breathed out and stepped back. “I’ll do what they want me to do. I’ll be their queen, and I’m not going to forgive and befriend every monster that kicks me. But when it comes to Jason?” I searched my mind for the words. “He’s complicated.”
“It’s not complicated, Ara. He hurt you—you don’t forgive that,” Mike stated.
“If only it were that simple in my heart.” I turned away, ashamed of my own feelings.
“It is.” Mike placed his hands on my arms from behind. “You use the memory of that pain to change the way you feel.”
“No. It doesn’t change things, and it doesn’t change the fact that, while I’m trying to deal with all of this in my mind, there’s something worse out there—waiting to destroy everyone I love.” I looked down.
“You don’t need to be scared baby.” He squeezed me tighter, then gently turned my shoulders until I faced him. “You know I’ll protect you.”
“I know.” I smiled. “But I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I’m afraid of failing—of not being the queen the Lilithians need.”
“Aw.” Mike hugged me tightly. “Baby, the fact that you feel that way just shows your strength. You won’t let them down, because it matters to you; it’s your obligation and your hope to serve them well.”
“I hope you’re right, Mike,” I said with a sigh. “Like you said, I have the responsibility of a nation in my hands.”
Chapter 29
Petey sat by the front door with an irritated Mike a few steps away from him, dog lead in hand. “Petey,” Mike said, “you have to wear this. It’s against the law to walk a dog without a lead.”
Petey shook his head, followed by the rest of his body, and sat down with his pink tongue hanging out.
“Petey?” I put my hands on my hips and stared down at him. “Do you want to go for a run with Mike?”
He yawned, a high-pitched whine seeping out as he slumped down and flopped onto his side.
“Fine.” Mike put the lead on the table by the door. “I’ll go by myself.”
“Are you running human style, or—”
“Depends.” He looked back at me with a glint in his eye. “Will you come with me if I run Lilithian style?”
“You know what, I just might.” I looked down. “These shoes’ll do for running, yeah?”
“Meh.” Mike shrugged. “They’ll do. Just keep those laces done up.”
“Oh, right.” I bent down to tie the lace, and when I looked up at the door, Petey sat with the lead in his mouth, his head cocked.
“Petey.” I took the lead away. “You can’t run as fast as we can—you have to stay here.”
He whined and dropped to his front paws, his hind legs following.
“Too late, mate, you had your chance.” Mike pointed at him, sounding very Australian all of a sudden.
Petey huffed, his ears folding back slightly.
“Come on.” Mike grinned and took my hand. “I’ll race you to the lake.”
“Click your fingers—I’ll be there before you finish.”
After an hour running, we huffed over to the park bench and I propped my foot up to tie my shoelace—again. “What?” I asked Mike when he folded his arms, shaking his head.
“I’m gonna miss you when I go back to the manor.”
“Yeah—I always miss you when you go.” I put both feet back on the ground.
“But it’s different this time.” He scratched the back of his head. “I won’t see you again ‘til I pick you up in a few weeks.”
“Well, just think, I’ll be at the manor by summer, then you won’t have to miss me ever again.”
Mike linked his arm through mine and we walked toward the edge of the lake. “You’re getting faster,” he noted, but looked at my sweaty brow. “And I saw you practicing friction manipulation the other day. You did things you haven’t shown me yet.”
“Yeah. I figured out a few tricks. I’ll show you later.” I let out a deep breath. “I just wish I could magically heal my husband, though. You never get the power you want.” I clicked my fingers once and shook my head.
Mike dropped a quick kiss on my brow then went to sit on the park bench. “He’ll heal. Emily’s using some herb, isn’t she? Some super-healing thing?”
“Uh yeah, it’s just Wild Indigo. But it’s supposed to promote rapid cell re-production in vampires. She says that, mixed with vampire blood, it can have amazing effects.”
Mike nodded. “You do understand, don’t you, that he won’t be able to come to the manor for some time—even when he heals? People have to bel—”
“I know, I know. They have to believe he’s dead.” I groaned. “I know. What I don’t know is how I’m going to survive without him?”
“You have me.” Mike flashed a mischievous smirk.
“Yeah, I know.” You’ve always been my consolation.
“And Emily will take good care of him while we’re gone. It won’t be long ‘til the Knight’s Core is complete, and once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before we catch ourselves a big bad vampire. Then David can announce himself as king.”
“Yeah—it’s the catching Drake thing I’m worried about.”
“Wait ‘til you meet the knights. You’ll see. There’s no need to worry at all. Some of them—the original knights—are really cool. I, personally, cannot wait to go after Drake. Maybe he can give us a real fight.” Mike clasped his fingers together and flexed them outward, grinning wildly.
“Don’t be an advocate for war, Mike. I’m still not sure killing Drake is the best option.”
“Of course you’re not, baby, you’re a little girl. You can’t understand the difference between doing what’s wrong for good and doing what’s stupid for a misinformed idea of what’s virtuous.”
I sat quietly for a minute. “You know, I’ll be queen in a few weeks, then you can’t speak to me like that anymore, Mike.”
“Sorry. That’s what they all call you. Guess it’s rubbing off.”
“Mike, don’t worry about me, okay?” I breathed out and stepped back. “I’ll do what they want me to do. I’ll be their queen, and I’m not going to forgive and befriend every monster that kicks me. But when it comes to Jason?” I searched my mind for the words. “He’s complicated.”
“It’s not complicated, Ara. He hurt you—you don’t forgive that,” Mike stated.
“If only it were that simple in my heart.” I turned away, ashamed of my own feelings.
“It is.” Mike placed his hands on my arms from behind. “You use the memory of that pain to change the way you feel.”
“No. It doesn’t change things, and it doesn’t change the fact that, while I’m trying to deal with all of this in my mind, there’s something worse out there—waiting to destroy everyone I love.” I looked down.
“You don’t need to be scared baby.” He squeezed me tighter, then gently turned my shoulders until I faced him. “You know I’ll protect you.”
“I know.” I smiled. “But I’m not afraid of getting hurt. I’m afraid of failing—of not being the queen the Lilithians need.”
“Aw.” Mike hugged me tightly. “Baby, the fact that you feel that way just shows your strength. You won’t let them down, because it matters to you; it’s your obligation and your hope to serve them well.”
“I hope you’re right, Mike,” I said with a sigh. “Like you said, I have the responsibility of a nation in my hands.”
Chapter 29
Petey sat by the front door with an irritated Mike a few steps away from him, dog lead in hand. “Petey,” Mike said, “you have to wear this. It’s against the law to walk a dog without a lead.”
Petey shook his head, followed by the rest of his body, and sat down with his pink tongue hanging out.
“Petey?” I put my hands on my hips and stared down at him. “Do you want to go for a run with Mike?”
He yawned, a high-pitched whine seeping out as he slumped down and flopped onto his side.
“Fine.” Mike put the lead on the table by the door. “I’ll go by myself.”
“Are you running human style, or—”
“Depends.” He looked back at me with a glint in his eye. “Will you come with me if I run Lilithian style?”
“You know what, I just might.” I looked down. “These shoes’ll do for running, yeah?”
“Meh.” Mike shrugged. “They’ll do. Just keep those laces done up.”
“Oh, right.” I bent down to tie the lace, and when I looked up at the door, Petey sat with the lead in his mouth, his head cocked.
“Petey.” I took the lead away. “You can’t run as fast as we can—you have to stay here.”
He whined and dropped to his front paws, his hind legs following.
“Too late, mate, you had your chance.” Mike pointed at him, sounding very Australian all of a sudden.
Petey huffed, his ears folding back slightly.
“Come on.” Mike grinned and took my hand. “I’ll race you to the lake.”
“Click your fingers—I’ll be there before you finish.”
After an hour running, we huffed over to the park bench and I propped my foot up to tie my shoelace—again. “What?” I asked Mike when he folded his arms, shaking his head.
“I’m gonna miss you when I go back to the manor.”
“Yeah—I always miss you when you go.” I put both feet back on the ground.
“But it’s different this time.” He scratched the back of his head. “I won’t see you again ‘til I pick you up in a few weeks.”
“Well, just think, I’ll be at the manor by summer, then you won’t have to miss me ever again.”
Mike linked his arm through mine and we walked toward the edge of the lake. “You’re getting faster,” he noted, but looked at my sweaty brow. “And I saw you practicing friction manipulation the other day. You did things you haven’t shown me yet.”
“Yeah. I figured out a few tricks. I’ll show you later.” I let out a deep breath. “I just wish I could magically heal my husband, though. You never get the power you want.” I clicked my fingers once and shook my head.
Mike dropped a quick kiss on my brow then went to sit on the park bench. “He’ll heal. Emily’s using some herb, isn’t she? Some super-healing thing?”
“Uh yeah, it’s just Wild Indigo. But it’s supposed to promote rapid cell re-production in vampires. She says that, mixed with vampire blood, it can have amazing effects.”
Mike nodded. “You do understand, don’t you, that he won’t be able to come to the manor for some time—even when he heals? People have to bel—”
“I know, I know. They have to believe he’s dead.” I groaned. “I know. What I don’t know is how I’m going to survive without him?”
“You have me.” Mike flashed a mischievous smirk.
“Yeah, I know.” You’ve always been my consolation.
“And Emily will take good care of him while we’re gone. It won’t be long ‘til the Knight’s Core is complete, and once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before we catch ourselves a big bad vampire. Then David can announce himself as king.”
“Yeah—it’s the catching Drake thing I’m worried about.”
“Wait ‘til you meet the knights. You’ll see. There’s no need to worry at all. Some of them—the original knights—are really cool. I, personally, cannot wait to go after Drake. Maybe he can give us a real fight.” Mike clasped his fingers together and flexed them outward, grinning wildly.
“Don’t be an advocate for war, Mike. I’m still not sure killing Drake is the best option.”
“Of course you’re not, baby, you’re a little girl. You can’t understand the difference between doing what’s wrong for good and doing what’s stupid for a misinformed idea of what’s virtuous.”
I sat quietly for a minute. “You know, I’ll be queen in a few weeks, then you can’t speak to me like that anymore, Mike.”
