The Heart's Ashes
Page 176
He shrugged. “No idea.”
“Well, it’s been nearly eight weeks. It’s about damn time you got better.”
“I’m not completely healed, though.” I noticed the hand across his waist then, the way he slightly folded over. “Em says a few more days should do it.”
“But we only have two days left,” I whined. “I’m leaving for Loslilian, remember?”
“I know.” His lip pulled sharply on just one corner; the smile of the boy in the library at school. My heart fluttered in rapid, tiny little pulses. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I—I’m just trying not to cry.”
“Don’t do that, my love. Don’t be strong for me. You, of any person in this world, has the right to tears.” He held out an arm, offering his embrace. “Cry, and I’ll hold you until all the pain goes away.”
“No.” I shook my head, reaching for the empty space my locket no longer sat. “This isn’t the time for tears; I’ve used enough of those.”
“Well, if you don’t fix this proximity issue—” he motioned to the gap between us, “—I’m going to cry.”
I launched back into the exquisiteness of his arms, my legs flying freely behind me while he spun us around; his soul in the realm of joy, but his arms in a world of loss, of pain; a hold so tight I could feel he never wanted to let go.
He placed me on the ground and shook his head, the soft smile staying on his perfect, dark-pink lips. “I missed you beyond words, Ara-Rose.”
“I missed you, too. I missed this you.” I stroked his face. “The one that’s present of mind and body.”
“I was always present, my love. I just couldn’t reach you.”
“And I couldn’t touch you, even if you could.” His blackened, charred body seemed like a distant memory already—one I guess I wanted to push away, to forget. “I wish you could’ve known how much I loved you. I wish there’d been a way for me to show while you were unconscious.”
“For me—” he touched a hand to his chest, “—each time your hand or your breath brushed past my skin while I was stuck in that bed, was like re-living our first kiss; like feeling my heart beat again for the first time.” David stepped in to me and slid his fingers along the side of my face; his height cast a shadow across my nose and brow, blocking the glare of the sun as I looked up into his shining, emerald-green eyes. “But I no longer have only my dreams to keep me sane. You’re here.” He squeezed my face a little. “You’re alive and immortal, and, Ara, I never thought I’d see you again. I never thought I would hold you again.”
“You promised me the afterlife.” I smiled softly.
“Yes.” He smiled, with all the warmth of his heart pouring out through his gaze. “But I had no way of knowing our plan would work.”
“Well, it did, and here we are.”
“Yes, here we are; after all the pain, after all the sorrow, after everything we’ve been through—this is heaven, this is where we belong.”
“I wish you’d been a little less cryptic in your definition of afterlife, David. I didn’t catch on to the whole David’s-not-dead plan until the next day. Talk about grief.” I shook my head, half smiling.
“I’m so sorry for that, mon amour.” His voice flooded with a depth of sorrow that dragged my heart into blackness for a breath.
“All’s well that ends well, right?” I shrugged, shaking off the sinking feeling.
“For us?” He nodded. “Finally.”
“It’s been quite an adventure,” I noted.
“Yes, and we’re together at last, to be parted never, because you’re a vampire after all.”
“Weird, huh?”
“Not in the slightest.” He took a long breath and closed his eyes.
“What? Why are you shaking your head?”
“I just—I can’t believe it. You’re still just as beautiful as always.” He opened his eyes. “My memory did not prepare me for this. I must have forgotten how you look in the sunlight.”
“And I forgot how much taller you are than me.” I stood on my toes a little, my head only just touching his nose.
He smiled but it fell quickly.
“David, what is it, what’s wrong?”
“So many things, my love. I told myself, when I left home today, that I would not bring up the past—that I would not waste our last days ambling in the horrors we’ve suffered, but, Ara—” he scrunched his eyes tight. “I have no way to explain the agony I suffered for not being able to call to you—comfort you when I heard you crying.”
“You could hear me?”
David nodded, his brow furrowing tightly. “It plagues my memory. When I look at your face, even now, I expect there to be tears, surprised when there’s not. I dreamed of coming to you, dreamed I stood by your bed, lifted you in my arms and made all the pain go away. But when I’d wake, stuck flat on my back, in the dark room, with you sleeping on the floor just inches away, a piece of my soul died each time.”
“I’m okay, you know. I hardly think of it now. Mostly, my tears were for you.”
“Liar.”
We both laughed softly.
“Okay, so, maybe it’s a little hard to move past, but, I really will be okay.”
“I know, Ara. Because I’m here.” He squeezed my arm a little. “Because I won’t let anything happen to you, ever again. I swear this. I will do everything in my power, for once in my life, to be your knight.”
“You are, David.” I grabbed his hand and planted it to my cheek, closing my eyes. “You save me from wishing for death—just by existing.”
“Then I shall exist forever, my love, because a world without your beauty to light the morning would indeed be a world which knows no sunrise.”
“Oh, I missed your romance-novel lines, David. Do you lay there at night and just plan out a list of things you can say to make my cheeks go red?”
He chuckled. “You’ve caught me out in my diabolical plan. I just wanted to test if Lilithians blush.”
“Do they?”
He stroked a thumb over my cheekbone. “Yes.”
“Are you repulsed by me, you know, ‘cause vampires hate my kind?”
“Well, it’s been nearly eight weeks. It’s about damn time you got better.”
“I’m not completely healed, though.” I noticed the hand across his waist then, the way he slightly folded over. “Em says a few more days should do it.”
“But we only have two days left,” I whined. “I’m leaving for Loslilian, remember?”
“I know.” His lip pulled sharply on just one corner; the smile of the boy in the library at school. My heart fluttered in rapid, tiny little pulses. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I—I’m just trying not to cry.”
“Don’t do that, my love. Don’t be strong for me. You, of any person in this world, has the right to tears.” He held out an arm, offering his embrace. “Cry, and I’ll hold you until all the pain goes away.”
“No.” I shook my head, reaching for the empty space my locket no longer sat. “This isn’t the time for tears; I’ve used enough of those.”
“Well, if you don’t fix this proximity issue—” he motioned to the gap between us, “—I’m going to cry.”
I launched back into the exquisiteness of his arms, my legs flying freely behind me while he spun us around; his soul in the realm of joy, but his arms in a world of loss, of pain; a hold so tight I could feel he never wanted to let go.
He placed me on the ground and shook his head, the soft smile staying on his perfect, dark-pink lips. “I missed you beyond words, Ara-Rose.”
“I missed you, too. I missed this you.” I stroked his face. “The one that’s present of mind and body.”
“I was always present, my love. I just couldn’t reach you.”
“And I couldn’t touch you, even if you could.” His blackened, charred body seemed like a distant memory already—one I guess I wanted to push away, to forget. “I wish you could’ve known how much I loved you. I wish there’d been a way for me to show while you were unconscious.”
“For me—” he touched a hand to his chest, “—each time your hand or your breath brushed past my skin while I was stuck in that bed, was like re-living our first kiss; like feeling my heart beat again for the first time.” David stepped in to me and slid his fingers along the side of my face; his height cast a shadow across my nose and brow, blocking the glare of the sun as I looked up into his shining, emerald-green eyes. “But I no longer have only my dreams to keep me sane. You’re here.” He squeezed my face a little. “You’re alive and immortal, and, Ara, I never thought I’d see you again. I never thought I would hold you again.”
“You promised me the afterlife.” I smiled softly.
“Yes.” He smiled, with all the warmth of his heart pouring out through his gaze. “But I had no way of knowing our plan would work.”
“Well, it did, and here we are.”
“Yes, here we are; after all the pain, after all the sorrow, after everything we’ve been through—this is heaven, this is where we belong.”
“I wish you’d been a little less cryptic in your definition of afterlife, David. I didn’t catch on to the whole David’s-not-dead plan until the next day. Talk about grief.” I shook my head, half smiling.
“I’m so sorry for that, mon amour.” His voice flooded with a depth of sorrow that dragged my heart into blackness for a breath.
“All’s well that ends well, right?” I shrugged, shaking off the sinking feeling.
“For us?” He nodded. “Finally.”
“It’s been quite an adventure,” I noted.
“Yes, and we’re together at last, to be parted never, because you’re a vampire after all.”
“Weird, huh?”
“Not in the slightest.” He took a long breath and closed his eyes.
“What? Why are you shaking your head?”
“I just—I can’t believe it. You’re still just as beautiful as always.” He opened his eyes. “My memory did not prepare me for this. I must have forgotten how you look in the sunlight.”
“And I forgot how much taller you are than me.” I stood on my toes a little, my head only just touching his nose.
He smiled but it fell quickly.
“David, what is it, what’s wrong?”
“So many things, my love. I told myself, when I left home today, that I would not bring up the past—that I would not waste our last days ambling in the horrors we’ve suffered, but, Ara—” he scrunched his eyes tight. “I have no way to explain the agony I suffered for not being able to call to you—comfort you when I heard you crying.”
“You could hear me?”
David nodded, his brow furrowing tightly. “It plagues my memory. When I look at your face, even now, I expect there to be tears, surprised when there’s not. I dreamed of coming to you, dreamed I stood by your bed, lifted you in my arms and made all the pain go away. But when I’d wake, stuck flat on my back, in the dark room, with you sleeping on the floor just inches away, a piece of my soul died each time.”
“I’m okay, you know. I hardly think of it now. Mostly, my tears were for you.”
“Liar.”
We both laughed softly.
“Okay, so, maybe it’s a little hard to move past, but, I really will be okay.”
“I know, Ara. Because I’m here.” He squeezed my arm a little. “Because I won’t let anything happen to you, ever again. I swear this. I will do everything in my power, for once in my life, to be your knight.”
“You are, David.” I grabbed his hand and planted it to my cheek, closing my eyes. “You save me from wishing for death—just by existing.”
“Then I shall exist forever, my love, because a world without your beauty to light the morning would indeed be a world which knows no sunrise.”
“Oh, I missed your romance-novel lines, David. Do you lay there at night and just plan out a list of things you can say to make my cheeks go red?”
He chuckled. “You’ve caught me out in my diabolical plan. I just wanted to test if Lilithians blush.”
“Do they?”
He stroked a thumb over my cheekbone. “Yes.”
“Are you repulsed by me, you know, ‘cause vampires hate my kind?”
