The Heart's Ashes
Page 34
“Really?”
“Yes, it’s not a joke, Amara. These are council leaders. Not reasonable vampires. The only reason they even saw David was because he’s been a member of the Council for more than fifty years.”
“So that’s it, then? There was hope for me, but now that’s gone, too?”
“I’m searching for him, Amara. I really am.” His eyes focused and he breathed out through his nose. “If I find him, I’ll tell him you’re still here in the U. S., and that you want to be changed.”
“He thinks I’m in Perth, too?”
“Of course. He left the day of your wedding.”
“Right.” I slapped my forehead with my hand. Information overload. I need to process. “So, he left without approval. What will they do to him if they catch him?”
Eric scratched his chin. “I’m not sure. By law, he should be in big trouble. But Arthur wants those laws changed. The way it stands, right now, if they catch him, he goes to the Lilithians—they’ll torture him and drain him—”
“Stop.” I raised a hand, washing that image from my mind. “Eric. Please. I’ve had enough.”
“Don’t like the thought of him in pain, huh?”
“Have you ever been in love, Eric?” I turned to face him, a hint of challenge in my tone.
“Once.”
“Then you know what it’s like to think of them in pain.”
“Yes, but, a human’s love has no measure against a vampire’s. You don’t feel things the way we do—so I don’t really get your whole depression thing over David being gone.”
“I’m not depressed!” I stood up. “I’m just miserable and want to die.”
Eric laughed, wiping his thumb across his chin as he stood beside me. “Well, misery seems to be presenting itself on your skin, girl. Even I’ve noticed how thin you are, and I’m not really one for caring, but—” he pinched my bony elbow in his fingertips, “I think you ought to start eating.”
“I eat.”
“Not enough.”
“It’s not your business, so stay out of it.”
He grabbed my elbow a little firmer until I looked into his soft smile. “If you want to be blood-sharing buddies, it is my business, because I don’t want sour-tasting blood.”
I snatched my arm back and felt my wafer-thin shoulders rise. “Really? I’d taste awful if I don’t eat.”
“Ever had an overcooked steak?” he said. “You’d taste waterless and salty. Not very appealing.”
“Good, then I don’t have to worry about Jason coming back for seconds.”
“Jason?” Eric’s brow pulled. “You’re not seriously worried about him, are you?”
“Maybe. A little.”
“Aw, kiddo, he’s had his fun with you. Vampires don’t usually come back to finish off their victims if they survive. It’s just not in our nature.”
“And civility is?”
“Yeah, like ridicule is in yours.”
A smile tugged the corner of my lip.
“Look, Amara, I don’t have a lot of time—I have to check in at nine, and blood drinking can take time. Are we gonna do this, or what?”
“I—” I shouldn’t. “Feeding this addiction’s only gonna make it worse.”
Eric gently wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “There’s nothing bad to come from a blood addiction, Amara. You won’t rob your family and friends to get cash to buy it; you won’t sit in the corner shaking when you can’t get it.”
“No, but I get moody and—”
“Well, I’ll make sure I’m always around to feed you.”
“Like a pet?” I remarked sourly, knowing full well I would actually agree to that—even if it was degrading.
“How ‘bout like a friend?”
“But, what if you bite me—by accident?”
“That’s a risk I think we’re both willing to take.”
He was right; I wanted him like that block of Mike’s chocolate he tried to hide in the fridge drawer—the block that he’ll discover later is no longer there. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why is it you can’t leave my kind alive when you feed from them, but you can share blood? Isn’t it the same thing?”
“Ha! No. Not even close.” He wiped the spit that came out with his laugh on the edge of his sleeve. “Blood sharing is intimate, like giving a massage. Feeding is an entirely different kettle of fish. We have no control over the kill. It just happens.”
“But, won’t drinking my blood force that instinct within you?”
“Maybe,” he said. “I’ve never done it before, Amara, so I can’t say. But I’ve never tried to kill a vampire when I’ve shared blood in the past.”
“But you sleep with them after?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say there’s an awful lot of sleeping going on.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Look, Ara—” I looked up to the strange sound of Eric using my proper name. “I’ll be careful with you, okay. I got a lot to lose if I’m not. So stop worrying and just sit down on the bed so I can have my naughty way with you.”
I glanced at the bed, then back at Eric, whose fingers tapered around the cuff of my sleeve, rolling it up my forearm.
“We’ll start with the wrist, all right? It’s less intimate.”
With shaky breath, feeling the tingle of tension—excited tension—all over my body, I said, “As opposed to where?”
His lips stopped on my flesh, his icy cool warning me of the hunger deep within him. “Use your imagination.”
A wave of heat rushed through my veins, gathering at the pressure of his fingernail on my skin, and all the images of David flashed into my head at once; what would he think to know I was sharing this with another vampire—another man, to be exact? Would he care? Would he want me to stop, would he want me to do it—to be with Eric in the way we both knew we would after I drank his blood?
Eric, obviously sensing my tension, watched me, his nail hesitating over my skin. “I just realised...I can’t cut your vein. Humans die if they bleed out, don’t they?”
“Yes, it’s not a joke, Amara. These are council leaders. Not reasonable vampires. The only reason they even saw David was because he’s been a member of the Council for more than fifty years.”
“So that’s it, then? There was hope for me, but now that’s gone, too?”
“I’m searching for him, Amara. I really am.” His eyes focused and he breathed out through his nose. “If I find him, I’ll tell him you’re still here in the U. S., and that you want to be changed.”
“He thinks I’m in Perth, too?”
“Of course. He left the day of your wedding.”
“Right.” I slapped my forehead with my hand. Information overload. I need to process. “So, he left without approval. What will they do to him if they catch him?”
Eric scratched his chin. “I’m not sure. By law, he should be in big trouble. But Arthur wants those laws changed. The way it stands, right now, if they catch him, he goes to the Lilithians—they’ll torture him and drain him—”
“Stop.” I raised a hand, washing that image from my mind. “Eric. Please. I’ve had enough.”
“Don’t like the thought of him in pain, huh?”
“Have you ever been in love, Eric?” I turned to face him, a hint of challenge in my tone.
“Once.”
“Then you know what it’s like to think of them in pain.”
“Yes, but, a human’s love has no measure against a vampire’s. You don’t feel things the way we do—so I don’t really get your whole depression thing over David being gone.”
“I’m not depressed!” I stood up. “I’m just miserable and want to die.”
Eric laughed, wiping his thumb across his chin as he stood beside me. “Well, misery seems to be presenting itself on your skin, girl. Even I’ve noticed how thin you are, and I’m not really one for caring, but—” he pinched my bony elbow in his fingertips, “I think you ought to start eating.”
“I eat.”
“Not enough.”
“It’s not your business, so stay out of it.”
He grabbed my elbow a little firmer until I looked into his soft smile. “If you want to be blood-sharing buddies, it is my business, because I don’t want sour-tasting blood.”
I snatched my arm back and felt my wafer-thin shoulders rise. “Really? I’d taste awful if I don’t eat.”
“Ever had an overcooked steak?” he said. “You’d taste waterless and salty. Not very appealing.”
“Good, then I don’t have to worry about Jason coming back for seconds.”
“Jason?” Eric’s brow pulled. “You’re not seriously worried about him, are you?”
“Maybe. A little.”
“Aw, kiddo, he’s had his fun with you. Vampires don’t usually come back to finish off their victims if they survive. It’s just not in our nature.”
“And civility is?”
“Yeah, like ridicule is in yours.”
A smile tugged the corner of my lip.
“Look, Amara, I don’t have a lot of time—I have to check in at nine, and blood drinking can take time. Are we gonna do this, or what?”
“I—” I shouldn’t. “Feeding this addiction’s only gonna make it worse.”
Eric gently wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “There’s nothing bad to come from a blood addiction, Amara. You won’t rob your family and friends to get cash to buy it; you won’t sit in the corner shaking when you can’t get it.”
“No, but I get moody and—”
“Well, I’ll make sure I’m always around to feed you.”
“Like a pet?” I remarked sourly, knowing full well I would actually agree to that—even if it was degrading.
“How ‘bout like a friend?”
“But, what if you bite me—by accident?”
“That’s a risk I think we’re both willing to take.”
He was right; I wanted him like that block of Mike’s chocolate he tried to hide in the fridge drawer—the block that he’ll discover later is no longer there. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why is it you can’t leave my kind alive when you feed from them, but you can share blood? Isn’t it the same thing?”
“Ha! No. Not even close.” He wiped the spit that came out with his laugh on the edge of his sleeve. “Blood sharing is intimate, like giving a massage. Feeding is an entirely different kettle of fish. We have no control over the kill. It just happens.”
“But, won’t drinking my blood force that instinct within you?”
“Maybe,” he said. “I’ve never done it before, Amara, so I can’t say. But I’ve never tried to kill a vampire when I’ve shared blood in the past.”
“But you sleep with them after?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say there’s an awful lot of sleeping going on.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Look, Ara—” I looked up to the strange sound of Eric using my proper name. “I’ll be careful with you, okay. I got a lot to lose if I’m not. So stop worrying and just sit down on the bed so I can have my naughty way with you.”
I glanced at the bed, then back at Eric, whose fingers tapered around the cuff of my sleeve, rolling it up my forearm.
“We’ll start with the wrist, all right? It’s less intimate.”
With shaky breath, feeling the tingle of tension—excited tension—all over my body, I said, “As opposed to where?”
His lips stopped on my flesh, his icy cool warning me of the hunger deep within him. “Use your imagination.”
A wave of heat rushed through my veins, gathering at the pressure of his fingernail on my skin, and all the images of David flashed into my head at once; what would he think to know I was sharing this with another vampire—another man, to be exact? Would he care? Would he want me to stop, would he want me to do it—to be with Eric in the way we both knew we would after I drank his blood?
Eric, obviously sensing my tension, watched me, his nail hesitating over my skin. “I just realised...I can’t cut your vein. Humans die if they bleed out, don’t they?”
