The Heart's Ashes
Page 83
“Well, I can’t answer that last question for myself, Ara, because you won’t like the answer. But, as for Jason and his heroic dreams; that was just him—he…” David drew a breath and let it out with a huff, “—he never lost all compassion for your kind. Well, not until…”
Until you killed Rochelle. “And what about the other question—why can’t you answer it?”
“I—” He closed his eyes. “Just drop it, okay?”
“Why?”
“Ara. Drop it.”
“Is it because you cared and you don’t want to admit it?”
“Ara?”
“Really, is that it? Because, I know you’re a vampire, David, and caring isn’t cool, but you don’t have to pretend with me, I—”
“Ara, it’s not that.”
“Then, what is it? Why won’t you tell m—”
“Because I don’t want you to hate me,” he said loudly, turning away. “You, with all of your moralistic ideals, your compassion—I don’t want you to see me for what I really am.”
“David.” I walked up and touched his arm from behind. “Don’t you know? Immoral vampire or not, I love y—”
“Do you?” He spun around with a jerk, his narrowed gaze splitting right through me. “Tell me honestly, Ara, do you love me? Am I enough for you?”
“Is that a joke? Of course I do, David, you’re everything to me.”
“What about Mike?”
I exhaled through my nose, biting my lip. “It’s intense—being around him. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t want to feel that way, and I know it hurts you, but I can get past it.” I reached across and held his fingertips gently. “However, being without you? That’s not something I can get through. I just, it’s weird.” I shook my head, trying to understand my own words. “I don’t understand it myself, but, I know I love you.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“You speak the truth?”
I touched my chest. “From the bottom of my heart.”
“And, while I’m still here you’ll deal with the feelings you have for Mike, you won’t let him touch you again?”
“I promise.” I held out my pinkie.
He pushed it aside to wrap me in his arms. “That’s all I needed to know.”
“But, David?” I pushed out from his hold, sensing a change in things I wasn’t sure I wanted; safety. David feeling safe in this relationship. If he felt safe, safe that I’d always be his, he’d leave again. He was only here because he wanted to make sure I’d never forget him—never move on from him. “That doesn’t mean we can be more than friends. As long as you’re clear on that.” I studied his face with questioning eyes.
“Still gonna play this game, huh?”
“It’s no game. I’m serious.”
“It won’t make me stay, Ara-Rose.”
“It’s worth a try. And I have a date with Eric this week, so you better make your mind up.”
“Eric?”
“Yes.” Great, now I need to book a date with Eric.
“Fine.” David smiled—his secret smile. “Go ahead. Go out with de la Rose. See if I care.”
“Fine.” I folded my arms slowly. “I will.”
Chapter 13
I perched on the stool, my back to the piano, and Emily sat across from me, reading Nicholas Sparks, both of us resting our feet on the ottoman between us. But I couldn’t focus on my book, no matter how hard I tried, because the constant boom of roaring enemies lifted my mind from the plot every five seconds. “You know,” I said to her, “I think I’ve re-read the same line about six times.”
“Just tune it out, Ara,” she said in that flat, dull tone she’d used with me since the Mike and the lake-of-mistakes incident.
“I can’t. I don’t know how you can. You have better hearing than I do.”
She shrugged and went back to reading. I studied her carefully for a minute, paying close attention to her soft blonde hair, the set of her lips and the impassive look in her eyes that replaced the smile she usually wore when reading that tattered old book.
“What?” she said with a huff, her thumb holding the binding to mark the page.
“I’m sorry. I just—don’t you like romance novels anymore? You don’t seem to be getting the same kind of buzz out of it.”
“Maybe I just no longer care for the insignificant quests of the human heart.”
She went back to her book and I sat still, breathless for a moment, sitting across from the friend I knew so well, but suddenly knew nothing of at all. She really had become a vampire.
“Die, you wretched—Oh, damn!” Mike said loudly. “You actually killed me that time!”
“Told ya I’d get better,” David said.
“Right. That’s it!” I slammed the book down on the ottoman and stomped out to the roaring battleground—that used to be my lounge room. “Good to see you two getting along.” I grinned and sat on the arm of the sofa, next to Mike. “But, can you keep it down?”
David, beside Mike, a game controller in hand, shifted his shoulders in the direction of his thumbs. “This is harder than it looks.”
“No, you’re just a newb,” Mike said, looking relaxed beside David’s anxiousness. He glanced up at me then, making a kill without watching the screen. “I thought playing this game with a vampire might be a challenge.”
“Ha! You’re dead now, brother.” David leaned his elbows on his knees, quietly moving closer and closer to the screen.
“Not a chance.” Mike smirked, killing David again.
“Oh, you bastard.”
Mike laughed loudly—the old Mike. My carefree best friend.
“You wait, human.” David nudged him with his elbow. “I’ll get better at this eventually—then you’ll know what a real fight is.”
“Ah!” The boys both roared at the screen—dropping their controllers on the coffee table.
“Go on, Ara.” Mike handed a controller to me. “Show this vamp he’s the only one around here who sucks.”
“What, Ara can play?” David practically grunted.
Until you killed Rochelle. “And what about the other question—why can’t you answer it?”
“I—” He closed his eyes. “Just drop it, okay?”
“Why?”
“Ara. Drop it.”
“Is it because you cared and you don’t want to admit it?”
“Ara?”
“Really, is that it? Because, I know you’re a vampire, David, and caring isn’t cool, but you don’t have to pretend with me, I—”
“Ara, it’s not that.”
“Then, what is it? Why won’t you tell m—”
“Because I don’t want you to hate me,” he said loudly, turning away. “You, with all of your moralistic ideals, your compassion—I don’t want you to see me for what I really am.”
“David.” I walked up and touched his arm from behind. “Don’t you know? Immoral vampire or not, I love y—”
“Do you?” He spun around with a jerk, his narrowed gaze splitting right through me. “Tell me honestly, Ara, do you love me? Am I enough for you?”
“Is that a joke? Of course I do, David, you’re everything to me.”
“What about Mike?”
I exhaled through my nose, biting my lip. “It’s intense—being around him. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t want to feel that way, and I know it hurts you, but I can get past it.” I reached across and held his fingertips gently. “However, being without you? That’s not something I can get through. I just, it’s weird.” I shook my head, trying to understand my own words. “I don’t understand it myself, but, I know I love you.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“You speak the truth?”
I touched my chest. “From the bottom of my heart.”
“And, while I’m still here you’ll deal with the feelings you have for Mike, you won’t let him touch you again?”
“I promise.” I held out my pinkie.
He pushed it aside to wrap me in his arms. “That’s all I needed to know.”
“But, David?” I pushed out from his hold, sensing a change in things I wasn’t sure I wanted; safety. David feeling safe in this relationship. If he felt safe, safe that I’d always be his, he’d leave again. He was only here because he wanted to make sure I’d never forget him—never move on from him. “That doesn’t mean we can be more than friends. As long as you’re clear on that.” I studied his face with questioning eyes.
“Still gonna play this game, huh?”
“It’s no game. I’m serious.”
“It won’t make me stay, Ara-Rose.”
“It’s worth a try. And I have a date with Eric this week, so you better make your mind up.”
“Eric?”
“Yes.” Great, now I need to book a date with Eric.
“Fine.” David smiled—his secret smile. “Go ahead. Go out with de la Rose. See if I care.”
“Fine.” I folded my arms slowly. “I will.”
Chapter 13
I perched on the stool, my back to the piano, and Emily sat across from me, reading Nicholas Sparks, both of us resting our feet on the ottoman between us. But I couldn’t focus on my book, no matter how hard I tried, because the constant boom of roaring enemies lifted my mind from the plot every five seconds. “You know,” I said to her, “I think I’ve re-read the same line about six times.”
“Just tune it out, Ara,” she said in that flat, dull tone she’d used with me since the Mike and the lake-of-mistakes incident.
“I can’t. I don’t know how you can. You have better hearing than I do.”
She shrugged and went back to reading. I studied her carefully for a minute, paying close attention to her soft blonde hair, the set of her lips and the impassive look in her eyes that replaced the smile she usually wore when reading that tattered old book.
“What?” she said with a huff, her thumb holding the binding to mark the page.
“I’m sorry. I just—don’t you like romance novels anymore? You don’t seem to be getting the same kind of buzz out of it.”
“Maybe I just no longer care for the insignificant quests of the human heart.”
She went back to her book and I sat still, breathless for a moment, sitting across from the friend I knew so well, but suddenly knew nothing of at all. She really had become a vampire.
“Die, you wretched—Oh, damn!” Mike said loudly. “You actually killed me that time!”
“Told ya I’d get better,” David said.
“Right. That’s it!” I slammed the book down on the ottoman and stomped out to the roaring battleground—that used to be my lounge room. “Good to see you two getting along.” I grinned and sat on the arm of the sofa, next to Mike. “But, can you keep it down?”
David, beside Mike, a game controller in hand, shifted his shoulders in the direction of his thumbs. “This is harder than it looks.”
“No, you’re just a newb,” Mike said, looking relaxed beside David’s anxiousness. He glanced up at me then, making a kill without watching the screen. “I thought playing this game with a vampire might be a challenge.”
“Ha! You’re dead now, brother.” David leaned his elbows on his knees, quietly moving closer and closer to the screen.
“Not a chance.” Mike smirked, killing David again.
“Oh, you bastard.”
Mike laughed loudly—the old Mike. My carefree best friend.
“You wait, human.” David nudged him with his elbow. “I’ll get better at this eventually—then you’ll know what a real fight is.”
“Ah!” The boys both roared at the screen—dropping their controllers on the coffee table.
“Go on, Ara.” Mike handed a controller to me. “Show this vamp he’s the only one around here who sucks.”
“What, Ara can play?” David practically grunted.
