The Last Husband
Page 26
“That’s all I know.” She laughed and the three of us stood there at the door looking at each other.
“Jean-Pierre.” I heard a lady’s voice calling to the little boy.
“Oui mama.”
“Jean-Pierre.” The voice came closer to the door and as the lady opened the door, the little boy made a face and ran back inside. “Bonjour.” The lady stuck her head out the door and she had a contemplative look on her face.
As I stared into her blue eyes, I felt my heart still. She stared back at me, and her face paled. We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity and I felt my brain asking a million questions that my mouth didn’t seem to want to say.
“Hi.” Lucky finally broke the silence. “Is Mrs. Beaumont here?”
“You.” The lady broke eye contact with me and looked at Lucky, her eyes shooting daggers.
“Mrs. Beaumont?” Lucky’s voice was hopeful and soft and I watched her talking to my mom in silence. I felt like I was in one of my dreams, only someone had frozen me in place.
“I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong address.” Her voice was heavily accented. She sounded like a native French speaker. I was surprised at how easily her American accent had changed.
“Mom.” I looked at her and said the words awkwardly. They almost choked me, but a part of me felt somehow lighter at being able to say the words to her face.
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Her face looked upset and she looked away from me. “You should go.”
“Mom, it’s me, Zane.” I spoke again, a little louder this time. “It’s me, your son, Zane Beaumont.”
“I don’t know who you are.” She clutched the door handle tightly, and I could see the palms of her hands turning red. “I have to ask you to leave.”
I stood there staring at her not really understanding what was going on. Why was she pretending she didn’t know me? I knew her face as well as I knew my own. I had dreamt of her almost every night for years; her eyes were ingrained in my mind.
“I just wanted to ask you a few questions.” I frowned. “I didn’t come for any money, and I won’t tell dad where you are. I just want to know why you left. Please.”
She looked up at me then and I could see tears in the corners of her eyes as she stared at me. She stepped forward and touched my face, staring at me in wonder. She then touched my arm and stepped back. “You’re a handsome boy.” She smiled. “But I’m sorry, I do not know who your mother is.”
“Mama, mama, viens ici.” The little boy ran back through the door and pulled on her top. He stood there holding onto her and stared up at me with a curious expression, as if to say, ‘oh you’re still here’.
“I have to go inside now.” She looked away from me. “Good luck with your search.”
“Wait.” My voice was firm. “I know you’re lying. I don’t want anything from you. I just want to understand.”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go. Au Revoir.” And with that, she turned away and quickly closed the door. I stared at her face as she closed the door and I saw a small tear rolling from her eyes. At that moment, I felt as if my world had ended. My heart felt empty and a deep chill filled my body. I saw Lucky looking at me with a worried expression, but I was unable to even look at her and give her a reassuring look.
I picked up a rock and squeezed it tightly, hoping I could crush it in my bare hands. When I realized I couldn’t, I threw it as far as I could and walked quickly away from the door.
My mind felt numb and I started running. I didn’t stop to think about where I was going or to worry if Lucky could keep up with me, I just ran. I ran so fast and so hard that I tripped over a bunch of rocks and scratched up my hands and arms. The scrapes burned me and I saw traces of blood on my palms, but I jumped up and kept running. I welcomed the pain, it helped to take my mind off of my mother’s rejection. A rejection that was worse than any I could have ever imagined. She had seen me, had me right there in front of her and denied me. There was never going to be any closure. I was never going to hear the words that she loved me and wanted to make it up to me. We were never going to bond. She was never going to be a grandmother to my children. She just didn’t care. She didn’t love me. It was as simple as that. She wasn’t in my life because she didn’t want to be. She just didn’t care. I was nothing to her. I meant nothing to her. My heart felt empty and I collapsed onto the ground by an old tree trunk. I lay back in the grass and stared at an ant that was walking along the ground. I watched it walking until it disappeared from sight and then I focused on another ant.
I sensed Lucky before I heard or saw her. I didn’t look up. I didn’t open my mouth to tell her I was okay. I just laid there watching the ant. I felt her sit next to me in the grass. She didn’t say a word to me and I was grateful that she didn’t try to tell me that it was all going to be okay. We lay in the grass in silence for what must have been 15 minutes before I picked a piece of grass and turned towards her. She was staring at me with bloodshot eyes and a worried expression. It hurt my heart that she had been crying for me. Even I wasn’t crying for me, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Have you ever eaten grass?” I passed her the blade of grass and picked another one. “You should try it.” I put a piece of grass in my mouth and chewed on it. “If you think about it, we eat a lot of grass anyway.”
“Because we eat steak.” She smiled at me as she spoke and I nodded. That’s why she’s perfect for you, a voice inside me said. She knows what you’re thinking. She’s already a part of you.
“Yeah, cows eat grass all day and we eat steak. I have to admit I prefer to eat the steak than the grass.”
“Me too.” She inched towards me and I stared into her brown eyes.
“Did you know your eyes are hazel when the sun hits them at a certain light?”
“No.” Her voice was small.
“And your hair has red highlights. Or copper. Your hair shines like spun copper in the sun.” I laughed. “It’s a pity it’s not real copper, then you’d be really rich.”
“I knew, Zane.” Lucky burst out. “I knew and I’m sorry.”
I frowned at her, not understanding what she was saying. “You knew what?”
“When I called your mom and spoke to her …” Her voice cracked and she started crying. “I knew she didn’t want to see you. I’m sorry.”
“You knew?” My voice was light; surprisingly her words didn’t stir any emotions in me.
“Are you mad?” She bit her lip and I saw the concern in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Zane. I can’t believe that just happened.”
“It’s okay.” I reached out and took her hand in mine. I felt my body warming as I touched her and she moved in closer to me.
“It’s not okay. Oh, Zane, I’m so sorry. I hate her. I really hate her.”
“It’s not your fault, Lucky.”
I could feel her heart beating next to mine and I pulled her in even closer to me. The closer she was, the more I felt myself relaxing and breathing, until all of a sudden, I felt like myself again. I closed my eyes and listened to our hearts beating together in harmony. It was as if her heart were breathing life back into mine. I held onto her and just breathed her in. She ran her hands through my hair and her mouth found mine. I kissed her back hard, wanting to feel and taste all of her in the most primal of ways. I pushed her flat on her back and rolled over on top of her. I reached down and pulled her t-shirt off and pulled her bra straps down so I could gain access to her br**sts easily. I bent my head down and suckled on her ni**les and I felt myself becoming even more aroused as she squirmed beneath me. She moaned as I bit down lightly on her and I kissed down her body, licking the inside of her belly button and pausing as I reached the top of her pants. I looked up at her before unbuttoning her jeans and she nodded slightly giving me the go-ahead. I unzipped her jeans and pulled them down her legs, until they crunched up against her ankles. I quickly untied her shoes and pulled them off before pulling off her jeans completely. She sat up and pulled her bra off and I stared at her beautiful body as she lay in the grass with only her panties on. I pulled my t-shirt off, and quickly pulled off my shoes and pants so that I was only in my boxers.
“I don’t have a condom,” I muttered frustrated at myself.
“It’s okay.” She smiled up at me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She reached up and pulled me down towards her. “I want to do this. Here. Now. With you.”
I leaned forward and kissed her hard, running my hands down to her br**sts and cupping and caressing them. She ran her hands down my back and into my boxer shorts until she was squeezing my ass and I pushed my erection into her panties. She wrapped her legs around my waist and reached up and pushed me over so I was on my back and she was on top of me. Leaning forward her br**sts grazed my chest and she grinded herself back and forth on me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the desire coursing through me. I reached up and slipped two fingers into her panties, and her wetness made me gasp with lust and desire, as I felt how ready she was for me. Pushing her off of me and onto her back, I reached down and pulled her panties off. I buried my face in between her legs and her moans encouraged me as I explored her with my tongue. I grinned as she orgasmed on my tongue and I quickly kissed my way back up her body before entering her. She cried out and I moved slowly inside of her so that I could feel every delicate and sensitive part of her body against me. Every fiber of my being felt connected to Lucky. As our bodies became one, I felt the pleasure course through me, making me feel alive and free. I pushed into her deeper and harder wanting our two bodies to fuse together and melt into one. Lucky was a part of me, her very essence flowed through my veins. Her smile was part of my lips, her taste was a lingering sweetness on the tip of my tongue, her scent was in every inhale I took, and the tenderness of her voice was like music to my ears. My heart had felt like it had been broken and snatched away from my body this afternoon after my mother’s rejection, but as I made love to Lucky, I realized it had only been a small fracture. And I knew I would get over it. I knew it as well as I knew the exact color of Lucky’s eyes and the way she smiled and giggled when she was nervous. As long as I had Lucky, I would never be or feel alone.
“Don’t stop, Zane.” Lucky’s raspy voice turned me on even more and she scratched my back as I went faster and faster before collapsing to the side of her. We laid there staring at each other, grinning like idiots, and she reached over and ran her fingers down my chest.
“You are one good lover, Zane Beaumont.”
“Finally,” I grinned. “I finally got you to admit it.”
***
“So, what did you think?” I looked at Lucky’s face to see if she had enjoyed our trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
“Honestly, I was a little underwhelmed.” She made a face. “That was a long wait to get up there and then we could barely see anything.”
“It is a pretty nasty day.” I grimaced up at the sky. “Rain and overcast doesn’t do the city of Paris justice.”
“I’m just glad I live in Los Angeles, I mean Miami.” Lucky laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I took hold of her hand and we walked together past all the other tourists. “Thanks for being you.” I looked at her face, and all I could think about was how much unconditional love she had given me.
“Thanks for being you, too.” She paused and stopped to look at a young boy who was painting the Eiffel Tower. “Hello.” She smiled at him and he grinned up at us.
“Hello.” He continued painting and we stood and watched him for a few minutes. “Are you American as well?”
“Yes, we are.” She smiled down at him. “I love your painting.”
“I’m painting the Eiffel Tower.”
“It looks wonderful,” Lucky beamed at him. “You’re very talented.”
“Thank you.” He pointed to a lady sitting on a chair a few yards away. “That’s my mom.”
“She must be very proud of you.” Lucky waved to his mom and the boy nodded.
“She’s happy for me.” He looked at us solemnly. “I got my wish granted.”
“Your wish?” I looked at him curiously.
“From Make-A-Wish Foundation.” He nodded. “I wanted to come to Paris to paint the Eiffel Tower and they granted me the wish.”
“Oh, I see.” I studied the little boy’s face and I noticed that his hair looked very thin and his eyes looked bigger than normal. “You must be very happy.”
“I had neuroblastoma.” He picked up two paint tubes. “Should I use the purple or the blue next?”
“I like the purple.” Lucky smiled at him and I looked away quickly at the sight of her crouched down next to the young boy. I wondered at how some people could give their heart so easily and freely.
“Me, too.” I sat crouched down on the other side of him. “Do you think you could paint one for me as well?” I smiled at the happy surprise in his eyes.
“You want one?” he asked eagerly and excitedly.
“Of course.” I grinned at him and rubbed my hands. “You’re going to be a famous painter one day, and I would love to have one of your original paintings.”
“I’d like to be a famous painter.” He looked worried. “As long as the cancer doesn’t come back.”
“Jean-Pierre.” I heard a lady’s voice calling to the little boy.
“Oui mama.”
“Jean-Pierre.” The voice came closer to the door and as the lady opened the door, the little boy made a face and ran back inside. “Bonjour.” The lady stuck her head out the door and she had a contemplative look on her face.
As I stared into her blue eyes, I felt my heart still. She stared back at me, and her face paled. We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity and I felt my brain asking a million questions that my mouth didn’t seem to want to say.
“Hi.” Lucky finally broke the silence. “Is Mrs. Beaumont here?”
“You.” The lady broke eye contact with me and looked at Lucky, her eyes shooting daggers.
“Mrs. Beaumont?” Lucky’s voice was hopeful and soft and I watched her talking to my mom in silence. I felt like I was in one of my dreams, only someone had frozen me in place.
“I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong address.” Her voice was heavily accented. She sounded like a native French speaker. I was surprised at how easily her American accent had changed.
“Mom.” I looked at her and said the words awkwardly. They almost choked me, but a part of me felt somehow lighter at being able to say the words to her face.
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Her face looked upset and she looked away from me. “You should go.”
“Mom, it’s me, Zane.” I spoke again, a little louder this time. “It’s me, your son, Zane Beaumont.”
“I don’t know who you are.” She clutched the door handle tightly, and I could see the palms of her hands turning red. “I have to ask you to leave.”
I stood there staring at her not really understanding what was going on. Why was she pretending she didn’t know me? I knew her face as well as I knew my own. I had dreamt of her almost every night for years; her eyes were ingrained in my mind.
“I just wanted to ask you a few questions.” I frowned. “I didn’t come for any money, and I won’t tell dad where you are. I just want to know why you left. Please.”
She looked up at me then and I could see tears in the corners of her eyes as she stared at me. She stepped forward and touched my face, staring at me in wonder. She then touched my arm and stepped back. “You’re a handsome boy.” She smiled. “But I’m sorry, I do not know who your mother is.”
“Mama, mama, viens ici.” The little boy ran back through the door and pulled on her top. He stood there holding onto her and stared up at me with a curious expression, as if to say, ‘oh you’re still here’.
“I have to go inside now.” She looked away from me. “Good luck with your search.”
“Wait.” My voice was firm. “I know you’re lying. I don’t want anything from you. I just want to understand.”
“I’m sorry, but I have to go. Au Revoir.” And with that, she turned away and quickly closed the door. I stared at her face as she closed the door and I saw a small tear rolling from her eyes. At that moment, I felt as if my world had ended. My heart felt empty and a deep chill filled my body. I saw Lucky looking at me with a worried expression, but I was unable to even look at her and give her a reassuring look.
I picked up a rock and squeezed it tightly, hoping I could crush it in my bare hands. When I realized I couldn’t, I threw it as far as I could and walked quickly away from the door.
My mind felt numb and I started running. I didn’t stop to think about where I was going or to worry if Lucky could keep up with me, I just ran. I ran so fast and so hard that I tripped over a bunch of rocks and scratched up my hands and arms. The scrapes burned me and I saw traces of blood on my palms, but I jumped up and kept running. I welcomed the pain, it helped to take my mind off of my mother’s rejection. A rejection that was worse than any I could have ever imagined. She had seen me, had me right there in front of her and denied me. There was never going to be any closure. I was never going to hear the words that she loved me and wanted to make it up to me. We were never going to bond. She was never going to be a grandmother to my children. She just didn’t care. She didn’t love me. It was as simple as that. She wasn’t in my life because she didn’t want to be. She just didn’t care. I was nothing to her. I meant nothing to her. My heart felt empty and I collapsed onto the ground by an old tree trunk. I lay back in the grass and stared at an ant that was walking along the ground. I watched it walking until it disappeared from sight and then I focused on another ant.
I sensed Lucky before I heard or saw her. I didn’t look up. I didn’t open my mouth to tell her I was okay. I just laid there watching the ant. I felt her sit next to me in the grass. She didn’t say a word to me and I was grateful that she didn’t try to tell me that it was all going to be okay. We lay in the grass in silence for what must have been 15 minutes before I picked a piece of grass and turned towards her. She was staring at me with bloodshot eyes and a worried expression. It hurt my heart that she had been crying for me. Even I wasn’t crying for me, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Have you ever eaten grass?” I passed her the blade of grass and picked another one. “You should try it.” I put a piece of grass in my mouth and chewed on it. “If you think about it, we eat a lot of grass anyway.”
“Because we eat steak.” She smiled at me as she spoke and I nodded. That’s why she’s perfect for you, a voice inside me said. She knows what you’re thinking. She’s already a part of you.
“Yeah, cows eat grass all day and we eat steak. I have to admit I prefer to eat the steak than the grass.”
“Me too.” She inched towards me and I stared into her brown eyes.
“Did you know your eyes are hazel when the sun hits them at a certain light?”
“No.” Her voice was small.
“And your hair has red highlights. Or copper. Your hair shines like spun copper in the sun.” I laughed. “It’s a pity it’s not real copper, then you’d be really rich.”
“I knew, Zane.” Lucky burst out. “I knew and I’m sorry.”
I frowned at her, not understanding what she was saying. “You knew what?”
“When I called your mom and spoke to her …” Her voice cracked and she started crying. “I knew she didn’t want to see you. I’m sorry.”
“You knew?” My voice was light; surprisingly her words didn’t stir any emotions in me.
“Are you mad?” She bit her lip and I saw the concern in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Zane. I can’t believe that just happened.”
“It’s okay.” I reached out and took her hand in mine. I felt my body warming as I touched her and she moved in closer to me.
“It’s not okay. Oh, Zane, I’m so sorry. I hate her. I really hate her.”
“It’s not your fault, Lucky.”
I could feel her heart beating next to mine and I pulled her in even closer to me. The closer she was, the more I felt myself relaxing and breathing, until all of a sudden, I felt like myself again. I closed my eyes and listened to our hearts beating together in harmony. It was as if her heart were breathing life back into mine. I held onto her and just breathed her in. She ran her hands through my hair and her mouth found mine. I kissed her back hard, wanting to feel and taste all of her in the most primal of ways. I pushed her flat on her back and rolled over on top of her. I reached down and pulled her t-shirt off and pulled her bra straps down so I could gain access to her br**sts easily. I bent my head down and suckled on her ni**les and I felt myself becoming even more aroused as she squirmed beneath me. She moaned as I bit down lightly on her and I kissed down her body, licking the inside of her belly button and pausing as I reached the top of her pants. I looked up at her before unbuttoning her jeans and she nodded slightly giving me the go-ahead. I unzipped her jeans and pulled them down her legs, until they crunched up against her ankles. I quickly untied her shoes and pulled them off before pulling off her jeans completely. She sat up and pulled her bra off and I stared at her beautiful body as she lay in the grass with only her panties on. I pulled my t-shirt off, and quickly pulled off my shoes and pants so that I was only in my boxers.
“I don’t have a condom,” I muttered frustrated at myself.
“It’s okay.” She smiled up at me.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She reached up and pulled me down towards her. “I want to do this. Here. Now. With you.”
I leaned forward and kissed her hard, running my hands down to her br**sts and cupping and caressing them. She ran her hands down my back and into my boxer shorts until she was squeezing my ass and I pushed my erection into her panties. She wrapped her legs around my waist and reached up and pushed me over so I was on my back and she was on top of me. Leaning forward her br**sts grazed my chest and she grinded herself back and forth on me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the desire coursing through me. I reached up and slipped two fingers into her panties, and her wetness made me gasp with lust and desire, as I felt how ready she was for me. Pushing her off of me and onto her back, I reached down and pulled her panties off. I buried my face in between her legs and her moans encouraged me as I explored her with my tongue. I grinned as she orgasmed on my tongue and I quickly kissed my way back up her body before entering her. She cried out and I moved slowly inside of her so that I could feel every delicate and sensitive part of her body against me. Every fiber of my being felt connected to Lucky. As our bodies became one, I felt the pleasure course through me, making me feel alive and free. I pushed into her deeper and harder wanting our two bodies to fuse together and melt into one. Lucky was a part of me, her very essence flowed through my veins. Her smile was part of my lips, her taste was a lingering sweetness on the tip of my tongue, her scent was in every inhale I took, and the tenderness of her voice was like music to my ears. My heart had felt like it had been broken and snatched away from my body this afternoon after my mother’s rejection, but as I made love to Lucky, I realized it had only been a small fracture. And I knew I would get over it. I knew it as well as I knew the exact color of Lucky’s eyes and the way she smiled and giggled when she was nervous. As long as I had Lucky, I would never be or feel alone.
“Don’t stop, Zane.” Lucky’s raspy voice turned me on even more and she scratched my back as I went faster and faster before collapsing to the side of her. We laid there staring at each other, grinning like idiots, and she reached over and ran her fingers down my chest.
“You are one good lover, Zane Beaumont.”
“Finally,” I grinned. “I finally got you to admit it.”
***
“So, what did you think?” I looked at Lucky’s face to see if she had enjoyed our trip to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
“Honestly, I was a little underwhelmed.” She made a face. “That was a long wait to get up there and then we could barely see anything.”
“It is a pretty nasty day.” I grimaced up at the sky. “Rain and overcast doesn’t do the city of Paris justice.”
“I’m just glad I live in Los Angeles, I mean Miami.” Lucky laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I took hold of her hand and we walked together past all the other tourists. “Thanks for being you.” I looked at her face, and all I could think about was how much unconditional love she had given me.
“Thanks for being you, too.” She paused and stopped to look at a young boy who was painting the Eiffel Tower. “Hello.” She smiled at him and he grinned up at us.
“Hello.” He continued painting and we stood and watched him for a few minutes. “Are you American as well?”
“Yes, we are.” She smiled down at him. “I love your painting.”
“I’m painting the Eiffel Tower.”
“It looks wonderful,” Lucky beamed at him. “You’re very talented.”
“Thank you.” He pointed to a lady sitting on a chair a few yards away. “That’s my mom.”
“She must be very proud of you.” Lucky waved to his mom and the boy nodded.
“She’s happy for me.” He looked at us solemnly. “I got my wish granted.”
“Your wish?” I looked at him curiously.
“From Make-A-Wish Foundation.” He nodded. “I wanted to come to Paris to paint the Eiffel Tower and they granted me the wish.”
“Oh, I see.” I studied the little boy’s face and I noticed that his hair looked very thin and his eyes looked bigger than normal. “You must be very happy.”
“I had neuroblastoma.” He picked up two paint tubes. “Should I use the purple or the blue next?”
“I like the purple.” Lucky smiled at him and I looked away quickly at the sight of her crouched down next to the young boy. I wondered at how some people could give their heart so easily and freely.
“Me, too.” I sat crouched down on the other side of him. “Do you think you could paint one for me as well?” I smiled at the happy surprise in his eyes.
“You want one?” he asked eagerly and excitedly.
“Of course.” I grinned at him and rubbed my hands. “You’re going to be a famous painter one day, and I would love to have one of your original paintings.”
“I’d like to be a famous painter.” He looked worried. “As long as the cancer doesn’t come back.”
