The Last Husband
Page 27
“Well, we should all pray for that.” I nodded and looked at him solemnly. “Cancer is a bad thing.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “What color do you want your painting to be?”
“Surprise me.” I smiled at him. “Whatever you paint will look great on my walls.”
“You’re going to hang it on your wall?”
“Oh, yes. It will be front and center in my living room, and I will tell everyone I got it from a famous painter in France.”
“Well, I’m not famous yet; it’s not good to lie.” He chewed on his lower lip and looked like he was thinking very hard. “But I don’t mind if you tell them I’m going to be famous one day.”
“Then those are the words I shall use.” I smiled at him gently and was rewarded by a huge smile.
“I’m going to paint it now.”
“Thank you.” I stood up and saw a man selling some souvenirs. “I’ll be right back, guys.” I walked away quickly and looked through the key chains on the table. I grinned when I saw one in the shape of a key and the word ‘Paris’ on it. I was going to give it to Lucky that evening because Paris was the place she had unlocked my heart. I was still devastated from my mother’s lies, but I knew that I would be okay. It was a weird feeling to know and accept that the pain would eventually dull. I saw another item that I thought Lucky would love and bought it as well, and then quickly returned back to them.
“Paul is nearly done.” Lucky smiled up at me. “It’s a beautiful painting.”
I looked down at the paper and smiled at the colorful picture. Paul had painted the moon a sunshine yellow and stars of gold and silver. “Who’s that?” I asked, pointing at a little stick figure in the bottom left-hand corner of the picture.
“That’s me.” He gave Lucky and me a shy smile. “So you never forget me.”
“Oh we will never forget you, Paul.” Lucky reached over and gave him a big hug and the little boy flushed with pleasure. “We will treasure this picture forever.” We stood there watching him finish the painting and then he handed it to us before turning back to his paints.
“I’m going to finish mine now.” He grinned at us and I reached over and touched his shoulder lightly.
“Thanks, Paul.”
“Au revoir.” He smiled and Lucky held the picture carefully. I told her to wait with Paul while I walked over to his mother, who was beaming at me as I approached.
“Thanks for talking to Paul, so many people are scared to stop and talk to him.” Her eyes glistened with tears and I saw the love and appreciation in her eyes for our simple deed.
“It was our pleasure.” My heart went out to this woman. “I actually support St. Jude Children’s Hospital and so I know some of what you’re going through.”
“It’s been hard, but Paul is a trooper.”
“I want to give you something.” I took out my pocketbook and pulled out a check from the inner flap. I made it out for 100,000 dollars, signed it, and then folded it and handed it to her. “I want you to take this. Put your name on it or Paul’s and use it for whatever bills you have or for a college fund. Whatever you want or need.”
“Oh, no. I can’t take your money.” Her eyes almost popped out as she looked at the check and she shook her head with a shocked expression.
“Trust me when I say I can afford it.” I smiled down at her. “Consider it payment for the wonderful painting your son made for me.”
“God bless you, sir.”
“No, God bless you for being so strong and raising a wonderful boy. God bless you for being a wonderful mother.” I reached down and kissed her on the cheek. “Please cash the check and let me do this for you and your son. It would mean more to me than you will ever know.”
“Thank you, Mr. Beaumont.” There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at the check. “Thank you.”
I smiled at her one more time and then walked away. My heart was full and heavy. Lucky walked towards me and I laughed as I started at the front of her head.
“What did you say to her?” Lucky inquired as we walked off arm and arm.
“I just gave her our best wishes.”
“It must be hard raising a child with cancer.” She sounded sad and I squeezed her hand.
“It is. But you do the best you can. As a parent, you just love your child and hope for the best.”
“Yes.” She nodded and looked up at me. “I’m really sorry about your mom, Zane.”
“I know.” I kissed her cheek. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I know.”
“What do you want to do now?”
“Let’s go and get something to eat. I have some presents to give you.”
“Oh, Zane,” she giggled. “Not more presents.”
“Yes, more presents.”
“I have something for you as well.” She looked up at me slyly and I looked down at her in shock.
“You do?”
“Uh huh.” She grinned. “I got it yesterday.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” Her eyes sparkled and I was intrigued. “Don’t tell me you got lingerie.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
“Oh, my God, you went and got some new lingerie, didn’t you?” I asked excitedly.
“Zane, you wish.” She shook her head and laughed. “I didn’t get any lingerie.”
“Oh darn. Well, I got you a cute keychain with an actual key on it because you unlocked my heart. I also got you a cute pink notebook with a little Eiffel Tower statue on it because I want you to be able to write me more wonderful love songs.” I paused. “Okay, I didn’t intend to just blurt that out like that, I had a whole conversation planned for dinner, but you’re killing me here, Lucky. I want to know what you got me.”
“My, my, aren’t we impatient?”
“Did you get beads?” Dirty thoughts entered my mind and I hoped Lucky couldn’t tell what I was thinking.
“Beads?”
“You know.” I winked at her and she shook her head in confusion.
“You mean like a necklace?”
“No, I mean beads-beads.” I winked again and caressed her behind with my hands, and she shrieked as she realized what I was talking about.
“You’re so disgusting, Zane Beaumont.”
“What?” I faked a frown. “A guy can dream, right?”
“Argh. Let’s go eat.” She rolled her eyes at me and I watched her ass as she walked in front of me.
I tried to keep my thoughts clean, but all of a sudden, I was no longer hungry for food. I laughed at my dirty thoughts and then I thought back to Paul and his mother, and my heart started to crack. His mother loved him so much. She was the sort of woman that would do anything for her child. She would never give him up. She would never pretend she didn’t know him. I just didn’t understand why. In some ways, having seen my mother was worse than not having seen her. Before I was heartbroken and hateful due to the unknown, but now, now I was just heartbroken and devastated. I was literally devastated that my own mother could look into my eyes and not feel a thing. There was no doubt in my mind now that she didn’t love me. I didn’t know why she left, and frankly, I didn’t care. I hated her. I hated her with every fiber in my being for making me feel like a nothing. Like I wasn’t good enough. It was at moments like this when I witnessed the real love of a mother to her son, that I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt empty and alone, and as I walked, I felt like the pavement could swallow me up and that no one would care.
“I got some furry handcuffs.” Lucky’s voice interrupted my reverie and she grabbed my hand. I looked up at her blankly and she stared into my eyes with a searching look.
“What?” I tried to smile, but it didn’t quite hit my eyes.
“I got furry handcuffs?”
“Really?” I tried to look interested, but every time I thought about my mother, I felt as if I was living in the pits of hell and that nothing would be okay again.
“No, not really.” Her hands left mine and she reached up to my face. “Look at me, Zane.” She pleaded and I focused on the look in her eyes because they were shining bright with love for me. My breath caught as I stared at her, and she smiled a wide, happy beautiful smile. “I got you a puzzle piece.”
“Oh?”
“Well, two pieces. Two connected pieces.” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small bag. “Look.” She handed me the bag and I looked at the two wooded jigsaw pieces that were joined together, one of the pieces said ‘Zane’ and the other side said ‘Lucky’ and there was a heart in the middle, joining the two pieces together.
“I don’t know what to say.” I stared into her eyes, unable to think of words to express how touched I was. “I’ve never received a gift that has meant this much to me.”
“Do you really like it?” She looked unsure as she spoke. “I know it’s not a Rolex watch or a gold chain or anything, but it represents my love for you. You’re a piece of me now, Zane. And I’m a piece of you. We’re connected by our love for each other. We complete each other, Zane. I know that more than I’ve known anything in my life. And I know that you’re hurting right now. I know that you’re hurting more than you’ll ever be able to express to me. But that’s okay. I love you. And I know how hard this is for you. I know how much you want to just curl up and scream and shout. I know that the pain in your heart sometimes feels greater than your love for me. But it’s okay, because I’m not letting go. I’m not leaving. You’re a good man. The best man I’ve ever met in my life.” She took a deep breath and continued. “Yes, there have been nights I have wanted to scream at you. There have been nights that I have questioned what I’m doing, and I’ve even wondered what I would have done if you had cheated on me with Angelique. But I know you, you would never hurt me. Everything you have done has been to protect me. You are my prince, Zane. You are my knight in shining armor. And I am here for you, forever. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through the pain. I don’t know how a mother can do that to her own child, but I know that there is no way that she will ever forgive herself for leaving you or for what transpired the other day. I could see it in her eyes.”
“It’s hard, Lucky.” I choked out in response, overwhelmed by her love and devotion to me. “One moment, I’m fine, and then it hits me, and I just feel like nothing is worth anything.”
“You’re grieving.” She hugged me tight. “You’re grieving because the dream you had is dead and the hope you held in your heart is gone.”
“Noah thought she was looking for us.” I could hear the pain in my voice and I was angry at how pitiful I sounded. “I’m glad he wasn’t there to witness what she said and did.”
“Maybe he was a lot stronger than you thought, Zane.” Lucky looked up at me. “Maybe he already knew.”
“Perhaps.” I took a deep breath and buried my face in the top of Lucky’s head. “I love you, Lucky. I know that there are going to be hard days and easy days, and I know that I’m going to annoy the shit out of you, and you’re going to make me worry like crazy, but I want you to know that I love every inch of you. Your love means the world to me. It is the only thing that is stopping me from going insane.”
“We’re puzzle pieces, Zane.” She kissed me softly. “We were made to fit together. I’ll never let you go insane.”
Chapter 12
Lucky
I looked at the framed painting on the wall on the living room and smiled. It had been a little over a month since we had gotten back from Paris and it still feels like yesterday. As I walked into the kitchen, I smiled to myself at how close Zane and I had become. I knew he was still hurting from what had gone down with his mother, but I also knew that he was trying to accept that that was a part of his life that he couldn’t change. He was more open now, and the dreams had stopped. I looked at the envelope in my hand and said a quick prayer before putting a stamp on it. I was mailing off an application to UCLA to transfer to their History Department for the next semester and I thought I had a fairly good chance at being accepted. I placed the letter on the counter and opened the fridge to get something to eat for lunch. I was supposed to go out with Zane, but he got caught up at the police station, finalizing all the details of his year working alongside the FBI.
I looked in the fridge and pulled out some pickles and cheese. I walked to the cupboard to go and grab some crackers, but all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach.
“Oh man,” I groaned out loud as I rested my head on the countertop. I was pretty sure I had caught a cold from the changing temperatures, and wanted to go and lie down. I literally felt sick to my stomach, and all I wanted to do was throw up. I left the food on the counter and walked to the living room to go lie down on the couch. As I was leaving, I heard my phone ringing, so I grabbed it and answered.
“Hello.” My voice was weak and I hurried to go and sit down in the nearest chair.
“Lucky, is that you?” Sidney’s voice was loud and vibrant and I smiled into the phone.
“Yes, Mr. Johnson. How was Chicago?”
“My dear, it was fabulous, just fabulous. Betty and I went to the Sears Tower. Do you know how high up that is? We thought we were going to die.” Sidney laughed and I heard Betty muttering at him in the background. “But that’s not why I called.” His voice turned serious.
“Yes.” He nodded. “What color do you want your painting to be?”
“Surprise me.” I smiled at him. “Whatever you paint will look great on my walls.”
“You’re going to hang it on your wall?”
“Oh, yes. It will be front and center in my living room, and I will tell everyone I got it from a famous painter in France.”
“Well, I’m not famous yet; it’s not good to lie.” He chewed on his lower lip and looked like he was thinking very hard. “But I don’t mind if you tell them I’m going to be famous one day.”
“Then those are the words I shall use.” I smiled at him gently and was rewarded by a huge smile.
“I’m going to paint it now.”
“Thank you.” I stood up and saw a man selling some souvenirs. “I’ll be right back, guys.” I walked away quickly and looked through the key chains on the table. I grinned when I saw one in the shape of a key and the word ‘Paris’ on it. I was going to give it to Lucky that evening because Paris was the place she had unlocked my heart. I was still devastated from my mother’s lies, but I knew that I would be okay. It was a weird feeling to know and accept that the pain would eventually dull. I saw another item that I thought Lucky would love and bought it as well, and then quickly returned back to them.
“Paul is nearly done.” Lucky smiled up at me. “It’s a beautiful painting.”
I looked down at the paper and smiled at the colorful picture. Paul had painted the moon a sunshine yellow and stars of gold and silver. “Who’s that?” I asked, pointing at a little stick figure in the bottom left-hand corner of the picture.
“That’s me.” He gave Lucky and me a shy smile. “So you never forget me.”
“Oh we will never forget you, Paul.” Lucky reached over and gave him a big hug and the little boy flushed with pleasure. “We will treasure this picture forever.” We stood there watching him finish the painting and then he handed it to us before turning back to his paints.
“I’m going to finish mine now.” He grinned at us and I reached over and touched his shoulder lightly.
“Thanks, Paul.”
“Au revoir.” He smiled and Lucky held the picture carefully. I told her to wait with Paul while I walked over to his mother, who was beaming at me as I approached.
“Thanks for talking to Paul, so many people are scared to stop and talk to him.” Her eyes glistened with tears and I saw the love and appreciation in her eyes for our simple deed.
“It was our pleasure.” My heart went out to this woman. “I actually support St. Jude Children’s Hospital and so I know some of what you’re going through.”
“It’s been hard, but Paul is a trooper.”
“I want to give you something.” I took out my pocketbook and pulled out a check from the inner flap. I made it out for 100,000 dollars, signed it, and then folded it and handed it to her. “I want you to take this. Put your name on it or Paul’s and use it for whatever bills you have or for a college fund. Whatever you want or need.”
“Oh, no. I can’t take your money.” Her eyes almost popped out as she looked at the check and she shook her head with a shocked expression.
“Trust me when I say I can afford it.” I smiled down at her. “Consider it payment for the wonderful painting your son made for me.”
“God bless you, sir.”
“No, God bless you for being so strong and raising a wonderful boy. God bless you for being a wonderful mother.” I reached down and kissed her on the cheek. “Please cash the check and let me do this for you and your son. It would mean more to me than you will ever know.”
“Thank you, Mr. Beaumont.” There were tears in her eyes as she looked down at the check. “Thank you.”
I smiled at her one more time and then walked away. My heart was full and heavy. Lucky walked towards me and I laughed as I started at the front of her head.
“What did you say to her?” Lucky inquired as we walked off arm and arm.
“I just gave her our best wishes.”
“It must be hard raising a child with cancer.” She sounded sad and I squeezed her hand.
“It is. But you do the best you can. As a parent, you just love your child and hope for the best.”
“Yes.” She nodded and looked up at me. “I’m really sorry about your mom, Zane.”
“I know.” I kissed her cheek. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I know.”
“What do you want to do now?”
“Let’s go and get something to eat. I have some presents to give you.”
“Oh, Zane,” she giggled. “Not more presents.”
“Yes, more presents.”
“I have something for you as well.” She looked up at me slyly and I looked down at her in shock.
“You do?”
“Uh huh.” She grinned. “I got it yesterday.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.” Her eyes sparkled and I was intrigued. “Don’t tell me you got lingerie.”
“Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
“Oh, my God, you went and got some new lingerie, didn’t you?” I asked excitedly.
“Zane, you wish.” She shook her head and laughed. “I didn’t get any lingerie.”
“Oh darn. Well, I got you a cute keychain with an actual key on it because you unlocked my heart. I also got you a cute pink notebook with a little Eiffel Tower statue on it because I want you to be able to write me more wonderful love songs.” I paused. “Okay, I didn’t intend to just blurt that out like that, I had a whole conversation planned for dinner, but you’re killing me here, Lucky. I want to know what you got me.”
“My, my, aren’t we impatient?”
“Did you get beads?” Dirty thoughts entered my mind and I hoped Lucky couldn’t tell what I was thinking.
“Beads?”
“You know.” I winked at her and she shook her head in confusion.
“You mean like a necklace?”
“No, I mean beads-beads.” I winked again and caressed her behind with my hands, and she shrieked as she realized what I was talking about.
“You’re so disgusting, Zane Beaumont.”
“What?” I faked a frown. “A guy can dream, right?”
“Argh. Let’s go eat.” She rolled her eyes at me and I watched her ass as she walked in front of me.
I tried to keep my thoughts clean, but all of a sudden, I was no longer hungry for food. I laughed at my dirty thoughts and then I thought back to Paul and his mother, and my heart started to crack. His mother loved him so much. She was the sort of woman that would do anything for her child. She would never give him up. She would never pretend she didn’t know him. I just didn’t understand why. In some ways, having seen my mother was worse than not having seen her. Before I was heartbroken and hateful due to the unknown, but now, now I was just heartbroken and devastated. I was literally devastated that my own mother could look into my eyes and not feel a thing. There was no doubt in my mind now that she didn’t love me. I didn’t know why she left, and frankly, I didn’t care. I hated her. I hated her with every fiber in my being for making me feel like a nothing. Like I wasn’t good enough. It was at moments like this when I witnessed the real love of a mother to her son, that I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt empty and alone, and as I walked, I felt like the pavement could swallow me up and that no one would care.
“I got some furry handcuffs.” Lucky’s voice interrupted my reverie and she grabbed my hand. I looked up at her blankly and she stared into my eyes with a searching look.
“What?” I tried to smile, but it didn’t quite hit my eyes.
“I got furry handcuffs?”
“Really?” I tried to look interested, but every time I thought about my mother, I felt as if I was living in the pits of hell and that nothing would be okay again.
“No, not really.” Her hands left mine and she reached up to my face. “Look at me, Zane.” She pleaded and I focused on the look in her eyes because they were shining bright with love for me. My breath caught as I stared at her, and she smiled a wide, happy beautiful smile. “I got you a puzzle piece.”
“Oh?”
“Well, two pieces. Two connected pieces.” She reached into her handbag and pulled out a small bag. “Look.” She handed me the bag and I looked at the two wooded jigsaw pieces that were joined together, one of the pieces said ‘Zane’ and the other side said ‘Lucky’ and there was a heart in the middle, joining the two pieces together.
“I don’t know what to say.” I stared into her eyes, unable to think of words to express how touched I was. “I’ve never received a gift that has meant this much to me.”
“Do you really like it?” She looked unsure as she spoke. “I know it’s not a Rolex watch or a gold chain or anything, but it represents my love for you. You’re a piece of me now, Zane. And I’m a piece of you. We’re connected by our love for each other. We complete each other, Zane. I know that more than I’ve known anything in my life. And I know that you’re hurting right now. I know that you’re hurting more than you’ll ever be able to express to me. But that’s okay. I love you. And I know how hard this is for you. I know how much you want to just curl up and scream and shout. I know that the pain in your heart sometimes feels greater than your love for me. But it’s okay, because I’m not letting go. I’m not leaving. You’re a good man. The best man I’ve ever met in my life.” She took a deep breath and continued. “Yes, there have been nights I have wanted to scream at you. There have been nights that I have questioned what I’m doing, and I’ve even wondered what I would have done if you had cheated on me with Angelique. But I know you, you would never hurt me. Everything you have done has been to protect me. You are my prince, Zane. You are my knight in shining armor. And I am here for you, forever. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through the pain. I don’t know how a mother can do that to her own child, but I know that there is no way that she will ever forgive herself for leaving you or for what transpired the other day. I could see it in her eyes.”
“It’s hard, Lucky.” I choked out in response, overwhelmed by her love and devotion to me. “One moment, I’m fine, and then it hits me, and I just feel like nothing is worth anything.”
“You’re grieving.” She hugged me tight. “You’re grieving because the dream you had is dead and the hope you held in your heart is gone.”
“Noah thought she was looking for us.” I could hear the pain in my voice and I was angry at how pitiful I sounded. “I’m glad he wasn’t there to witness what she said and did.”
“Maybe he was a lot stronger than you thought, Zane.” Lucky looked up at me. “Maybe he already knew.”
“Perhaps.” I took a deep breath and buried my face in the top of Lucky’s head. “I love you, Lucky. I know that there are going to be hard days and easy days, and I know that I’m going to annoy the shit out of you, and you’re going to make me worry like crazy, but I want you to know that I love every inch of you. Your love means the world to me. It is the only thing that is stopping me from going insane.”
“We’re puzzle pieces, Zane.” She kissed me softly. “We were made to fit together. I’ll never let you go insane.”
Chapter 12
Lucky
I looked at the framed painting on the wall on the living room and smiled. It had been a little over a month since we had gotten back from Paris and it still feels like yesterday. As I walked into the kitchen, I smiled to myself at how close Zane and I had become. I knew he was still hurting from what had gone down with his mother, but I also knew that he was trying to accept that that was a part of his life that he couldn’t change. He was more open now, and the dreams had stopped. I looked at the envelope in my hand and said a quick prayer before putting a stamp on it. I was mailing off an application to UCLA to transfer to their History Department for the next semester and I thought I had a fairly good chance at being accepted. I placed the letter on the counter and opened the fridge to get something to eat for lunch. I was supposed to go out with Zane, but he got caught up at the police station, finalizing all the details of his year working alongside the FBI.
I looked in the fridge and pulled out some pickles and cheese. I walked to the cupboard to go and grab some crackers, but all of a sudden I felt sick to my stomach.
“Oh man,” I groaned out loud as I rested my head on the countertop. I was pretty sure I had caught a cold from the changing temperatures, and wanted to go and lie down. I literally felt sick to my stomach, and all I wanted to do was throw up. I left the food on the counter and walked to the living room to go lie down on the couch. As I was leaving, I heard my phone ringing, so I grabbed it and answered.
“Hello.” My voice was weak and I hurried to go and sit down in the nearest chair.
“Lucky, is that you?” Sidney’s voice was loud and vibrant and I smiled into the phone.
“Yes, Mr. Johnson. How was Chicago?”
“My dear, it was fabulous, just fabulous. Betty and I went to the Sears Tower. Do you know how high up that is? We thought we were going to die.” Sidney laughed and I heard Betty muttering at him in the background. “But that’s not why I called.” His voice turned serious.
