The Other Side of Love
Page 21
“You can’t go missing as well. What if I come back home?” I said matter-of-factly. “You have to be there to greet me.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Noah. I will always do everything in my power to make sure you are okay. If I sense anything is wrong, I will fix it.”
“What if I don’t tell you and I keep it to myself?” I said wide-eyed, deliriously happy that Zane was taking so much time to talk to me and show me how much he loved me.
“I will always know, Noah. Even if you keep it to yourself. I will always know when something is wrong. And I will always do whatever I can to make that situation right.”
“You’re like a magician” I yawned and snuggled under the duvet. “My very own magician brother.”
“Sleep tight, Noah,” he whispered. “I’ll never let the bed bugs bite you.”
“Did you have any foster brothers and sisters that you were close to?” I sat on Robin’s cream couch as she poured two glasses of a bottle of Riesling for us. This was the second night I was spending at Robin’s and I felt sad that it was likely the last night that either of us would have together.
“I had three sisters and three brothers.” She handed me a glass and smiled. “However, they are all a lot older than me, so I’m not really close with any of them.”
“It must have been hard growing up in foster care.” I gave her a smile as she sat next to me. “Not really knowing where you came from and all that.”
“It’s hard.” She nodded at me. “Some days, I just want to know what they looked like. What they did, why they gave me up. But then some days, I’m glad I don’t know, because what if it was bad? I don’t want to carry that burden with me.”
“That makes sense,” I agreed. “I was really worried about how Zane would feel about his birthmother’s death. I was scared he would carry that burden and guilt forever.”
“You guys are really close, aren’t you?” She took a sip of wine and sat back. “It must be nice to have someone you’re that close to.”
“He’s my best friend and my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
“Asides from tell him you’re going to fake your own death.” She teased me and I gave her a wry smile.
“Yeah, asides from that, I guess.”
“Wasn’t it hard keeping it a secret? I’m not judging you, but how could you do that?” She looked at me with wonder in her eyes. “Personally, if you had been my brother, I’m not sure I would have ever forgiven you. I hate being lied to, especially by the people closest to me.”
“It was for my brother’s safety.” I started and she shook her head.
“That’s bullshit.” She took a sip of wine. “No offence, but you do realize that’s bull. He’s your brother and from what I know of him, he seems like a pretty great and trustworthy guy. You should have told him.”
“Sometimes you have to lie to the ones you love to protect them.” I gave her an earnest look as I said the statement Special Agent Waldron had instilled in me. “Sometimes the ones you love are better off not knowing the truth.”
“What malarkey is that?” She shook her head vehemently. “You should never lie to the ones you love. What sort of foundation is that for a relationship built on love and honesty?”
“Sometimes you can’t tell people everything.” I shrugged and took a deep gulp of wine. I was starting to feel claustrophobic and I didn’t know how much longer I could continue in this conversation.
“I don’t agree.” Robin looked upset and jumped up. “Do you want anything to eat? I have some turkey slices and some grapes.”
“That sounds good, thanks.” I nodded and sat back as she walked into the kitchen. I looked around the apartment and enjoyed the opportunity to have a glimpse into her soul. The apartment complex itself was sketchy, but her apartment was a real home. It smelled like peaches and pie and while everything was slightly worn, it wasn’t tattered. It was lived in and homey. The only thing that I noticed was that there weren’t a lot of photographs at all, and for some reason that surprised me. I looked at a console table with two frames and went over to look at the two photos. One appeared to be a photo of her and an older couple, whom I assumed to be her foster parents, but the next photograph was a photo of her with a man and he had her arm around her. I felt a surge of jealousy as I looked at the photograph. I wanted to know who the man was and why she still had his photo up in her apartment. Did she still love him? I wanted to go into the kitchen and demand that she tell me who he was, but I stopped myself from doing so. For one, I thought that only a crazy guy would go demanding answers when he wasn’t even officially in a relationship, and secondly, I realized that this might be the last night I ever spent with her. Who was I to go act all jealous and then just leave? I already felt like scum staying the night at her apartment, knowing I was going to be leaving Los Angeles the next day. The phone call with Skylar was still at the forefront of my mind and I knew that I had to go and save her.
“Here we go,” Robin walked back into the room with a smile. “I hope you’re hungry, I put quite a bit on the plate.”
“Thanks. I’m pretty starved.” I sat back down on the couch and grabbed some grapes. “So who’s the guy in the photo?” I pointed to the console and almost groaned to myself. I just couldn’t stop the little green monster from coming out.
“Oh,” Robin paused. “That’s me and my ex. Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry.” I gave her a quick smile, trying to pretend I was not terribly disappointed. “Do you still love him and miss him, then?”
“No.” She shook her head slowly. “Not really.”
“So sometimes?” I leaned towards her.
“I guess.” She sighed and sat back. “I don’t have feelings for him anymore. But sometimes I miss him. We used to be friends.”
“I see.” I didn’t see and I didn’t want to do anything but smash the photo.
“Do you still miss your ex?” Robin looked at me curiously and her eyes were alert.
“No,” I shook my head as anger raced through me. “I hate her.” I sighed and then paused. “Well, no, I don’t hate her. But I dislike the person she is. She’s the sort of woman who makes you want to protect her because she acts like she’s a victim, but really it’s others who need protecting from her.”
“Sounds like she really hurt you.”
“She did hurt me.” I said bitterly. “In her own way, she hurt me the best way she knew how.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. She was married, you know. She escaped from her ex. She told me that he had been beating her. She even had some scars. She was really broken. I knew that from the start. I could see it in her face, hear it in her voice. We both were in Palm Bonita because we had to be, not because we wanted to be, and we both missed the outside world. That’s how we bonded.” I talked more than I had expected to, but I wanted Robin to understand. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but once she realized I was gone and why, I wanted her to remember this conversation and understand why I had to leave. I wanted her to know it wasn’t because I didn’t like her.
“That sounds pretty reasonable.” She nodded, but I could see little sparks of jealousy in her eyes as well.
“We shared personal and intimate information about each other.” I sighed. “I told her why I was really in Palm Bonita. I had wanted her to know I wasn’t one of the bad guys. That I was really there for a good reason. I even told her who my father was and that I came from a family of money. I made all the mistakes I wasn’t supposed to make. And she held it over me.”
“She blackmailed you?” Robin gasped.
“No,” I shook my head. “She was too smart for that. But she would ask for things or expect things. She would hold stuff over my head. She was smart, you know. She knew how to word things to make you wonder and feel sorry for her. And I fell for it.”
“She doesn’t seem like a very nice person.”
“Oh, she wasn’t.” I sighed and shook my head. “She wasn’t a nice person at all.” I stared into Robin’s eyes wanting to tell her everything so badly. But I was scared. I had made that mistake before and it had nearly cost me everything. I couldn’t risk anything going wrong at this point. “Excuse me a second,” I smiled at Robin as my phone rang and I answered it. “Hello, Lucky.”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice was low. “You need to come home.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” I said quickly and with worry. “Is it Zane?”
“No.” She took a deep breath. “Zane and I did something.”
“What did you guys do?” My heart pounded with fear and all I could think about was when Lucky had taken my phone a couple of days ago. “Did you call my mom?”
“No.” She paused. “Zane, please you have to come home.”
“Why, Lucky? Why?”
“Noah, Skylar’s here.”
I almost dropped the phone on the floor as shock fell over me. What was going on? “What do you mean Skylar’s there? There’s no way. How could she get there by herself?”
“She’s not by herself.”
“Oh, God.” My face turned pale and my heart started beating fast. “Oh, my God.”
“I’m sorry, Noah.” She gulped. “I didn’t know. We didn’t know. We thought this would be good for you. I’m—”
“What did you do, Lucky?” I shouted in the phone, angrier than I had ever been in my life.
“Please just come home.” She sobbed. “I don’t want to be here alone with her.”
“Where’s Zane?”
“He’s not at home.”
“I’m on my way.” I ended the call and turned to a worried-looking Robin. I pulled her up and towards me and looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” I kissed her hard and tried to remember the taste of her lips and the smell of her hair as I held her close to me for a few moments.
“What’s going on, Noah?” She looked at me with a scared expression. “What’s wrong with Lucky?”
“I have to go.” I said wildly grabbing my car keys. “My ex is here.” I looked at her shocked and hurt expression but I didn’t have time to explain everything to her. “I’m sorry but I have to go.” I ran out of the door, without looking back and ran to my car quickly. I needed to get home before anything happened. I jumped into my car in both excitement and fear. I was excited that I would finally be reunited with Skylar but I was extremely worried about what else might go down. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. No matter what happened tonight, I wasn’t going to let Skylar get hurt again. No matter what!
***
I walked into the house slowly. I was scared about what was going to happen. I didn’t even really understand how they had both gotten there, but I had a feeling Zane and Lucky were to blame. I thought back to two days ago in the kitchen when I’d had the conversation with Skylar right in front of Zane, and how minutes later Lucky had conveniently wanted to borrow my phone. Then I remembered the call she had received in the car, and the new number she had taken down to call. It all clicked into my head. I was pretty sure I knew how they had gotten her. Zane and Lucky had most probably tried to help me out, but they had no idea what the situation was. They had no idea that they had most probably made the situation worse for me and Skylar. They had no idea who she was to me.
I had only been in the door for a few minutes when someone came running into my arms. “Noah, Noah, it’s really you.” She cried tears of joy as she jumped into my arms and I picked Skylar up and swung her around.
“It’s really me, angel.” I sat her down and kissed her on the cheek, staring at her beautiful and innocent face. She looked just the same as I remembered her, with her big wide blue eyes, the little button nose, and a big gap in her front teeth. I crouched down so that I was on eye-level with her and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry that I left Palm Bonita without saying goodbye.”
“You never came back to see me.” Her eyes were wide and wet. “I thought I made you mad at me.”
“You could never make me mad at you. I love you. You know that.” I gave her a huge hug and my heart melted as she hugged me back tightly. As I hugged her, I wondered at the love I had for this child. This child who wasn’t mine, but who had completely stolen my heart the very first time I’d met her.
“Well, now, now. Isn’t this a cozy scene?” Monica walked up to us and gave us a haughty stare. “I always love to see my ex hugging my little bastard of a stepdaughter.”
“Monica, not in front of Skylar.” I covered the child’s ears and glared at her. As I stared at her beautiful but evil face, I wondered how I had ever been taken in by her. She was most probably the worst person I had ever had the misfortune of dating. She had drawn me in with her smile and acting, but she had shown me her true colors pretty quickly after that. I’d wanted to break up with her a few months after we started dating, but I had already established a relationship with Skylar and I also knew that the only way I could look after Skylar and spend time with her was to keep on dating Monica.
“I don’t know why you love that brat of a kid so much,” she sneered at me, and then looked around the house with wide greedy eyes. “This place is so much more than I thought it would be. I guess you’re as rich as you said.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Noah. I will always do everything in my power to make sure you are okay. If I sense anything is wrong, I will fix it.”
“What if I don’t tell you and I keep it to myself?” I said wide-eyed, deliriously happy that Zane was taking so much time to talk to me and show me how much he loved me.
“I will always know, Noah. Even if you keep it to yourself. I will always know when something is wrong. And I will always do whatever I can to make that situation right.”
“You’re like a magician” I yawned and snuggled under the duvet. “My very own magician brother.”
“Sleep tight, Noah,” he whispered. “I’ll never let the bed bugs bite you.”
“Did you have any foster brothers and sisters that you were close to?” I sat on Robin’s cream couch as she poured two glasses of a bottle of Riesling for us. This was the second night I was spending at Robin’s and I felt sad that it was likely the last night that either of us would have together.
“I had three sisters and three brothers.” She handed me a glass and smiled. “However, they are all a lot older than me, so I’m not really close with any of them.”
“It must have been hard growing up in foster care.” I gave her a smile as she sat next to me. “Not really knowing where you came from and all that.”
“It’s hard.” She nodded at me. “Some days, I just want to know what they looked like. What they did, why they gave me up. But then some days, I’m glad I don’t know, because what if it was bad? I don’t want to carry that burden with me.”
“That makes sense,” I agreed. “I was really worried about how Zane would feel about his birthmother’s death. I was scared he would carry that burden and guilt forever.”
“You guys are really close, aren’t you?” She took a sip of wine and sat back. “It must be nice to have someone you’re that close to.”
“He’s my best friend and my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
“Asides from tell him you’re going to fake your own death.” She teased me and I gave her a wry smile.
“Yeah, asides from that, I guess.”
“Wasn’t it hard keeping it a secret? I’m not judging you, but how could you do that?” She looked at me with wonder in her eyes. “Personally, if you had been my brother, I’m not sure I would have ever forgiven you. I hate being lied to, especially by the people closest to me.”
“It was for my brother’s safety.” I started and she shook her head.
“That’s bullshit.” She took a sip of wine. “No offence, but you do realize that’s bull. He’s your brother and from what I know of him, he seems like a pretty great and trustworthy guy. You should have told him.”
“Sometimes you have to lie to the ones you love to protect them.” I gave her an earnest look as I said the statement Special Agent Waldron had instilled in me. “Sometimes the ones you love are better off not knowing the truth.”
“What malarkey is that?” She shook her head vehemently. “You should never lie to the ones you love. What sort of foundation is that for a relationship built on love and honesty?”
“Sometimes you can’t tell people everything.” I shrugged and took a deep gulp of wine. I was starting to feel claustrophobic and I didn’t know how much longer I could continue in this conversation.
“I don’t agree.” Robin looked upset and jumped up. “Do you want anything to eat? I have some turkey slices and some grapes.”
“That sounds good, thanks.” I nodded and sat back as she walked into the kitchen. I looked around the apartment and enjoyed the opportunity to have a glimpse into her soul. The apartment complex itself was sketchy, but her apartment was a real home. It smelled like peaches and pie and while everything was slightly worn, it wasn’t tattered. It was lived in and homey. The only thing that I noticed was that there weren’t a lot of photographs at all, and for some reason that surprised me. I looked at a console table with two frames and went over to look at the two photos. One appeared to be a photo of her and an older couple, whom I assumed to be her foster parents, but the next photograph was a photo of her with a man and he had her arm around her. I felt a surge of jealousy as I looked at the photograph. I wanted to know who the man was and why she still had his photo up in her apartment. Did she still love him? I wanted to go into the kitchen and demand that she tell me who he was, but I stopped myself from doing so. For one, I thought that only a crazy guy would go demanding answers when he wasn’t even officially in a relationship, and secondly, I realized that this might be the last night I ever spent with her. Who was I to go act all jealous and then just leave? I already felt like scum staying the night at her apartment, knowing I was going to be leaving Los Angeles the next day. The phone call with Skylar was still at the forefront of my mind and I knew that I had to go and save her.
“Here we go,” Robin walked back into the room with a smile. “I hope you’re hungry, I put quite a bit on the plate.”
“Thanks. I’m pretty starved.” I sat back down on the couch and grabbed some grapes. “So who’s the guy in the photo?” I pointed to the console and almost groaned to myself. I just couldn’t stop the little green monster from coming out.
“Oh,” Robin paused. “That’s me and my ex. Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry.” I gave her a quick smile, trying to pretend I was not terribly disappointed. “Do you still love him and miss him, then?”
“No.” She shook her head slowly. “Not really.”
“So sometimes?” I leaned towards her.
“I guess.” She sighed and sat back. “I don’t have feelings for him anymore. But sometimes I miss him. We used to be friends.”
“I see.” I didn’t see and I didn’t want to do anything but smash the photo.
“Do you still miss your ex?” Robin looked at me curiously and her eyes were alert.
“No,” I shook my head as anger raced through me. “I hate her.” I sighed and then paused. “Well, no, I don’t hate her. But I dislike the person she is. She’s the sort of woman who makes you want to protect her because she acts like she’s a victim, but really it’s others who need protecting from her.”
“Sounds like she really hurt you.”
“She did hurt me.” I said bitterly. “In her own way, she hurt me the best way she knew how.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. She was married, you know. She escaped from her ex. She told me that he had been beating her. She even had some scars. She was really broken. I knew that from the start. I could see it in her face, hear it in her voice. We both were in Palm Bonita because we had to be, not because we wanted to be, and we both missed the outside world. That’s how we bonded.” I talked more than I had expected to, but I wanted Robin to understand. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but once she realized I was gone and why, I wanted her to remember this conversation and understand why I had to leave. I wanted her to know it wasn’t because I didn’t like her.
“That sounds pretty reasonable.” She nodded, but I could see little sparks of jealousy in her eyes as well.
“We shared personal and intimate information about each other.” I sighed. “I told her why I was really in Palm Bonita. I had wanted her to know I wasn’t one of the bad guys. That I was really there for a good reason. I even told her who my father was and that I came from a family of money. I made all the mistakes I wasn’t supposed to make. And she held it over me.”
“She blackmailed you?” Robin gasped.
“No,” I shook my head. “She was too smart for that. But she would ask for things or expect things. She would hold stuff over my head. She was smart, you know. She knew how to word things to make you wonder and feel sorry for her. And I fell for it.”
“She doesn’t seem like a very nice person.”
“Oh, she wasn’t.” I sighed and shook my head. “She wasn’t a nice person at all.” I stared into Robin’s eyes wanting to tell her everything so badly. But I was scared. I had made that mistake before and it had nearly cost me everything. I couldn’t risk anything going wrong at this point. “Excuse me a second,” I smiled at Robin as my phone rang and I answered it. “Hello, Lucky.”
“Noah.” Lucky’s voice was low. “You need to come home.”
“Why, what’s wrong?” I said quickly and with worry. “Is it Zane?”
“No.” She took a deep breath. “Zane and I did something.”
“What did you guys do?” My heart pounded with fear and all I could think about was when Lucky had taken my phone a couple of days ago. “Did you call my mom?”
“No.” She paused. “Zane, please you have to come home.”
“Why, Lucky? Why?”
“Noah, Skylar’s here.”
I almost dropped the phone on the floor as shock fell over me. What was going on? “What do you mean Skylar’s there? There’s no way. How could she get there by herself?”
“She’s not by herself.”
“Oh, God.” My face turned pale and my heart started beating fast. “Oh, my God.”
“I’m sorry, Noah.” She gulped. “I didn’t know. We didn’t know. We thought this would be good for you. I’m—”
“What did you do, Lucky?” I shouted in the phone, angrier than I had ever been in my life.
“Please just come home.” She sobbed. “I don’t want to be here alone with her.”
“Where’s Zane?”
“He’s not at home.”
“I’m on my way.” I ended the call and turned to a worried-looking Robin. I pulled her up and towards me and looked her straight in the eyes. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” I kissed her hard and tried to remember the taste of her lips and the smell of her hair as I held her close to me for a few moments.
“What’s going on, Noah?” She looked at me with a scared expression. “What’s wrong with Lucky?”
“I have to go.” I said wildly grabbing my car keys. “My ex is here.” I looked at her shocked and hurt expression but I didn’t have time to explain everything to her. “I’m sorry but I have to go.” I ran out of the door, without looking back and ran to my car quickly. I needed to get home before anything happened. I jumped into my car in both excitement and fear. I was excited that I would finally be reunited with Skylar but I was extremely worried about what else might go down. I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. No matter what happened tonight, I wasn’t going to let Skylar get hurt again. No matter what!
***
I walked into the house slowly. I was scared about what was going to happen. I didn’t even really understand how they had both gotten there, but I had a feeling Zane and Lucky were to blame. I thought back to two days ago in the kitchen when I’d had the conversation with Skylar right in front of Zane, and how minutes later Lucky had conveniently wanted to borrow my phone. Then I remembered the call she had received in the car, and the new number she had taken down to call. It all clicked into my head. I was pretty sure I knew how they had gotten her. Zane and Lucky had most probably tried to help me out, but they had no idea what the situation was. They had no idea that they had most probably made the situation worse for me and Skylar. They had no idea who she was to me.
I had only been in the door for a few minutes when someone came running into my arms. “Noah, Noah, it’s really you.” She cried tears of joy as she jumped into my arms and I picked Skylar up and swung her around.
“It’s really me, angel.” I sat her down and kissed her on the cheek, staring at her beautiful and innocent face. She looked just the same as I remembered her, with her big wide blue eyes, the little button nose, and a big gap in her front teeth. I crouched down so that I was on eye-level with her and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry that I left Palm Bonita without saying goodbye.”
“You never came back to see me.” Her eyes were wide and wet. “I thought I made you mad at me.”
“You could never make me mad at you. I love you. You know that.” I gave her a huge hug and my heart melted as she hugged me back tightly. As I hugged her, I wondered at the love I had for this child. This child who wasn’t mine, but who had completely stolen my heart the very first time I’d met her.
“Well, now, now. Isn’t this a cozy scene?” Monica walked up to us and gave us a haughty stare. “I always love to see my ex hugging my little bastard of a stepdaughter.”
“Monica, not in front of Skylar.” I covered the child’s ears and glared at her. As I stared at her beautiful but evil face, I wondered how I had ever been taken in by her. She was most probably the worst person I had ever had the misfortune of dating. She had drawn me in with her smile and acting, but she had shown me her true colors pretty quickly after that. I’d wanted to break up with her a few months after we started dating, but I had already established a relationship with Skylar and I also knew that the only way I could look after Skylar and spend time with her was to keep on dating Monica.
“I don’t know why you love that brat of a kid so much,” she sneered at me, and then looked around the house with wide greedy eyes. “This place is so much more than I thought it would be. I guess you’re as rich as you said.”
