The Space in Between
Page 13
“Is that so? You like my show?”
“I don't know who you are,” the girl repeated.
Her father sighed. I could tell he was exhausted from a long father-daughter day. Daddy used to have the same look when I was a kid. “It’s opposite day. She knows who you are. Right, April?”
Her lovely smile brightened the room as she nodded. “You are not going to take my wedding photos when I'm old enough to not like boys.”
“Of course not. Well, don't have your daddy and mama call me when you're not getting married.”
“Who aren’t you?”
Cooper’s eyes shifted to me for a brief moment before turning back to the southern belle. “This is not my date.”
I could feel my cheeks redden. I was—er, well, wasn’t—his date.
The father grabbed his daughter’s arm and started to pull her away. “Okay, I think that's enough. Time to leave them alone.”
Cooper smiled. “Happy Opposite Day, April.” The two walked away, and I sat there speechless. He was so smooth with the way he handled situations. He grabbed my hand from across the table and kissed it. “It's opposite day.”
“That's what I hear.”
AFTER DINNER, WE pulled up to Cooper’s house he kept in South Carolina. It was beautiful—a perfect, southern, large piece of property. It was gated off from the outside world, and had green grass and wildflowers gracing the front yard. As we pulled into the drive-way, I noticed some detailed cars sitting there.
I had a strong feeling Cooper was a lot richer than I had known. Yet, it seemed that it didn’t go to his head. He was nothing more than a kind-hearted guy who happened to have a heavy checkbook in his pockets.
“It’s so stunning here.” I looked at the white house with the large porch and yellow shutters on the windows. I felt as if I’d walked into a movie. Ladasha would have loved it; it looked like a place that belonged in a Nicholas Sparks movie. Cooper stepped out of the car and wrapped his arm around my waist as I dissolved into the curves of his body.
“Yeah, I forgot how much I loved this place. Iris and I only stayed here awhile before she decided she wanted to move to New York. But this…” His eyes sparkled as he looked around and opened the door to the house. “This is home.”
We spent the rest of the night in his bedroom, discovering more gems about each other. The only things we didn’t speak about were Iris and Derrick. Those two were off limits.
Cooper had played baseball when he was a kid. His middle name was Michael. He once did the cover for a magazine involving tigers, which was terrible for his fear of cats. He got in a fist fight with a guy who was cussing out a bartender who made a mistake in a restaurant. He wasn’t religious, but he believed in Jesus.
Little known facts about Cooper Davidson.
He was lying down on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. I watched his chest rise and fall each time he inhaled and exhaled. “I mean, think about it though…” He said, lifting one of his arms and resting his head in the palm of his hand. “What if there was something or someone bigger than all of this? Bigger than us? And what if he appeared to us in our darkest moments? Just as a person to give us a little extra push? I mean, what were the odds? Me walking into the strip club in New York City that night to meet you. Andrea…this has to mean something.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe there was some kind of higher power that pushed Cooper and I together that night. Who knew? I didn’t believe in much after the accident. I doubted everything and everyone. But if there was something out there…Something bigger, like a grand order to this crazy world, then I promised myself that I would thank the higher power if I ever got the opportunity. I would thank them for sending me Cooper so I wouldn’t feel so alone.
His eyes met mine and he grinned, falling back onto the mattress. “You think I’m crazy.”
Shaking my head, I scooted closer to him, and brushed my fingers across his chest. “No. I think you’re passionate about your beliefs. And I think I like it. I like how you get lost in your thoughts sometimes.”
The right side of his lips curved into a halfway smile. He placed his hands on my sides and lifted me up, so I was now straddling him. “Yeah? What else do you like about me?”
I grinned, knowing that the list was growing daily. My fingers traced his lips, feeling him sigh against my touch. “I like your lips. But not just because they deliver kisses in the gentlest way, but because when they move, they are sincere with their words. I believe whatever comes out of them.”
I moved my fingers across his cheek. “I like your dimples, because they only appear when you are happy. And I like that you’re happy when you’re around me.” His smile grew wider and his dimples grew deeper, making my heart skip.
My hands wrapped around his head and I lowered my lips to his forehead, resting them there. “I like your mind. How it works, how it cares.” Next my eyes locked with his, our lips almost touching, as I continued speaking. “I like your eyes, and how they focus on whoever’s around you. And you don’t just notice them, but you see them. Many people look, but they don’t see.”
And lastly, I lifted myself up, and placed my hands on his chest. I tried to hold back the tears as I cleared my throat, realizing what I liked most about him. “And most importantly, I like your heart. I really like your heart. Because when you walked into that strip club, you didn’t judge me. And when your mom was lost, you didn’t scold her. And when that little girl said it was opposite’s day, you didn’t demolish her beliefs. Each time you just smiled with those dimples, saw us with those eyes, and comforted us with those lips.”
The playful energy grew extremely serious as the two of us just sat there. I smiled his way and he smirked back to me. Shoving him lightly, I climbed off of him, and turned away. I poked fun at him, trying to take away from the seriousness of it all. “Come on, this is clearly the point when you tell me what you like about me.”
I felt him sit up and position himself behind me. When he started to give me a back massage, I pretty much died. He had the hands of Gods and knew exactly how to work them. His hands…I liked those, too. I was his the moment he touched me. My eyes closed and I allowed my body to relax into him massaging my lower back.
“What time is it?”
Opening one of my eyes, I glanced to the nightstand and looked at the alarm clock.
“11:58.” My eyes shut again, too comfortable to remain open.
“It's still opposite day.”
“For two more minutes.”
I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as he whispered to me. “I don’t like how you smell like honey and cotton candy. I dislike your blue eyes that I don’t get lost in. I really dislike the seventeen freckles on your face. You know the eight on your forehead, six on your cheeks, and three on the tip of your nose? Sooo ugly.” I felt every word he said run through me as he continued speaking.
“I haven’t thought about you every day since we met that one night.” He kissed my ear over and over again—my favorite kisses. I felt the butterflies flying into my stomach. I was growing more and more nervous with each word. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, but he kept going. “In your eyes I don’t see the missing pieces I’ve been searching for. And I know this isn’t crazy… but I think I hate you, Andie.”
The wind was knocked out of me. I opened my eyes. No…It was all too fast. It was only a few hours ago we’d decided we would actually be friends. Friends with benefits of course, but just friends. And now he was telling me that he loved—err, hated—me.
And the first thing that came to my mind was Derrick. How could I do this to him? It was only a few months ago he’d passed away. And I was sitting in a bedroom with another man.
Chapter Sixteen
WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking? Son of a bitch. Please stop crying. Andrea’s eyes were flooding with tears. She turned her back to me and kept saying it was all right. That she was fine.
“Clearly you’re not, Andrea.” I’m sorry. I couldn’t believe I put my foot in my mouth in such a stupid-ass way. “I didn’t mean it!” I swore. Yes, I did mean it. I loved her. I couldn’t help it. How could anyone not love such a woman? Broken pieces and all. But if telling her I loved her meant she would shatter even more, then I would take it back. I would laugh it off. I would want her to doubt there was any truth to the matter.
She turned and wiped her eyes. Laughing, she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m all right. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten so personal with stating the likes earlier. I’m sorry, it’s just…”
She paused and shifted her feet on the ground. I wished I could wrap my arms around her and protect her from the demons that were attacking her fragile thoughts, but I knew right now wouldn’t be the time or place. I gave her the time she needed to arrange her thoughts.
“It’s just—it’s all crap, you know? That ‘‘Til death do us part.’ That ‘love forever and always’ garbage. I mean, I know Derrick and I weren’t officially married, but we believed in the vows the first day we met. And here’s the thing…The person who dies from the car crash, he gets to leave. That’s the end of it for them. But there’s the other person still left behind in this damn place. The person still attached to those bullshit vows. And you’re stuck. And you can’t move.”
She was overwhelmed. Her poor eyes were bloodshot and her small body shook with sadness. What was I doing? It was only a little over six months ago when she went through the worst tragedy any person could experience. The words she spoke were cutting me because I never truly stopped to see how she was still in mourning.
“And out of nowhere, it seems you start to forget the little things about him. His smells are gone from the pillows. His laugh is hard to imagine. And you feel guilty that you’re forgetting, so you try hard to hold on to something that’s not even there anymore. And you feel ashamed…”
Her eyes met mine and her legs trembled as she bit her bottom lip—a trait she had when she was nervous. “And you feel ashamed because you like so many things about someone else. And you feel as if you’re cheating on your loved one.”
“Andrea…Derrick would want you to be happy.”
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Why not?”
Her tears ran down her cheeks and she shook her head back and forth. She was fighting the biggest battle with her inner self. “Because I killed him.”
I could tell it was that one thought which had been haunting her since the accident. I could tell she had never said those words before, but she thought them daily. And I could tell she meant it from the bottom of her heart. “No, you didn’t.”
She nodded franticly, everything about her being falling apart. “Yes I did. I did. I should have watched the road better. I should have focused. If it weren’t for me, he would be alive.”
I stepped close to her and she stepped back, shaking her head. I cringed a bit, watching her clam up. “Andrea…”
“I don’t deserve to be…” She cried, rubbing her hands across her face.
“Don’t say it.” I warned her. She didn’t think she deserved to live…She believed she should have died. That thought alone made me die a little. She shifted her eyes to the ground, shaking her head back and forth, gasping for air as her lungs went into overdrive. She was having a panic attack, and I was scared shitless that she was going to pass out any second now.
“Andrea, look at me. Now.” I demanded. When her eyes met mine, I made sure not to lose her. “I need you to do something for me.” Her head tilted to the side, wondering what I would request. Her tiny body was still a wreck from shaking.
“I don't know who you are,” the girl repeated.
Her father sighed. I could tell he was exhausted from a long father-daughter day. Daddy used to have the same look when I was a kid. “It’s opposite day. She knows who you are. Right, April?”
Her lovely smile brightened the room as she nodded. “You are not going to take my wedding photos when I'm old enough to not like boys.”
“Of course not. Well, don't have your daddy and mama call me when you're not getting married.”
“Who aren’t you?”
Cooper’s eyes shifted to me for a brief moment before turning back to the southern belle. “This is not my date.”
I could feel my cheeks redden. I was—er, well, wasn’t—his date.
The father grabbed his daughter’s arm and started to pull her away. “Okay, I think that's enough. Time to leave them alone.”
Cooper smiled. “Happy Opposite Day, April.” The two walked away, and I sat there speechless. He was so smooth with the way he handled situations. He grabbed my hand from across the table and kissed it. “It's opposite day.”
“That's what I hear.”
AFTER DINNER, WE pulled up to Cooper’s house he kept in South Carolina. It was beautiful—a perfect, southern, large piece of property. It was gated off from the outside world, and had green grass and wildflowers gracing the front yard. As we pulled into the drive-way, I noticed some detailed cars sitting there.
I had a strong feeling Cooper was a lot richer than I had known. Yet, it seemed that it didn’t go to his head. He was nothing more than a kind-hearted guy who happened to have a heavy checkbook in his pockets.
“It’s so stunning here.” I looked at the white house with the large porch and yellow shutters on the windows. I felt as if I’d walked into a movie. Ladasha would have loved it; it looked like a place that belonged in a Nicholas Sparks movie. Cooper stepped out of the car and wrapped his arm around my waist as I dissolved into the curves of his body.
“Yeah, I forgot how much I loved this place. Iris and I only stayed here awhile before she decided she wanted to move to New York. But this…” His eyes sparkled as he looked around and opened the door to the house. “This is home.”
We spent the rest of the night in his bedroom, discovering more gems about each other. The only things we didn’t speak about were Iris and Derrick. Those two were off limits.
Cooper had played baseball when he was a kid. His middle name was Michael. He once did the cover for a magazine involving tigers, which was terrible for his fear of cats. He got in a fist fight with a guy who was cussing out a bartender who made a mistake in a restaurant. He wasn’t religious, but he believed in Jesus.
Little known facts about Cooper Davidson.
He was lying down on the mattress, staring at the ceiling. I watched his chest rise and fall each time he inhaled and exhaled. “I mean, think about it though…” He said, lifting one of his arms and resting his head in the palm of his hand. “What if there was something or someone bigger than all of this? Bigger than us? And what if he appeared to us in our darkest moments? Just as a person to give us a little extra push? I mean, what were the odds? Me walking into the strip club in New York City that night to meet you. Andrea…this has to mean something.”
Maybe he was right. Maybe there was some kind of higher power that pushed Cooper and I together that night. Who knew? I didn’t believe in much after the accident. I doubted everything and everyone. But if there was something out there…Something bigger, like a grand order to this crazy world, then I promised myself that I would thank the higher power if I ever got the opportunity. I would thank them for sending me Cooper so I wouldn’t feel so alone.
His eyes met mine and he grinned, falling back onto the mattress. “You think I’m crazy.”
Shaking my head, I scooted closer to him, and brushed my fingers across his chest. “No. I think you’re passionate about your beliefs. And I think I like it. I like how you get lost in your thoughts sometimes.”
The right side of his lips curved into a halfway smile. He placed his hands on my sides and lifted me up, so I was now straddling him. “Yeah? What else do you like about me?”
I grinned, knowing that the list was growing daily. My fingers traced his lips, feeling him sigh against my touch. “I like your lips. But not just because they deliver kisses in the gentlest way, but because when they move, they are sincere with their words. I believe whatever comes out of them.”
I moved my fingers across his cheek. “I like your dimples, because they only appear when you are happy. And I like that you’re happy when you’re around me.” His smile grew wider and his dimples grew deeper, making my heart skip.
My hands wrapped around his head and I lowered my lips to his forehead, resting them there. “I like your mind. How it works, how it cares.” Next my eyes locked with his, our lips almost touching, as I continued speaking. “I like your eyes, and how they focus on whoever’s around you. And you don’t just notice them, but you see them. Many people look, but they don’t see.”
And lastly, I lifted myself up, and placed my hands on his chest. I tried to hold back the tears as I cleared my throat, realizing what I liked most about him. “And most importantly, I like your heart. I really like your heart. Because when you walked into that strip club, you didn’t judge me. And when your mom was lost, you didn’t scold her. And when that little girl said it was opposite’s day, you didn’t demolish her beliefs. Each time you just smiled with those dimples, saw us with those eyes, and comforted us with those lips.”
The playful energy grew extremely serious as the two of us just sat there. I smiled his way and he smirked back to me. Shoving him lightly, I climbed off of him, and turned away. I poked fun at him, trying to take away from the seriousness of it all. “Come on, this is clearly the point when you tell me what you like about me.”
I felt him sit up and position himself behind me. When he started to give me a back massage, I pretty much died. He had the hands of Gods and knew exactly how to work them. His hands…I liked those, too. I was his the moment he touched me. My eyes closed and I allowed my body to relax into him massaging my lower back.
“What time is it?”
Opening one of my eyes, I glanced to the nightstand and looked at the alarm clock.
“11:58.” My eyes shut again, too comfortable to remain open.
“It's still opposite day.”
“For two more minutes.”
I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as he whispered to me. “I don’t like how you smell like honey and cotton candy. I dislike your blue eyes that I don’t get lost in. I really dislike the seventeen freckles on your face. You know the eight on your forehead, six on your cheeks, and three on the tip of your nose? Sooo ugly.” I felt every word he said run through me as he continued speaking.
“I haven’t thought about you every day since we met that one night.” He kissed my ear over and over again—my favorite kisses. I felt the butterflies flying into my stomach. I was growing more and more nervous with each word. I wasn’t sure how much more I could take, but he kept going. “In your eyes I don’t see the missing pieces I’ve been searching for. And I know this isn’t crazy… but I think I hate you, Andie.”
The wind was knocked out of me. I opened my eyes. No…It was all too fast. It was only a few hours ago we’d decided we would actually be friends. Friends with benefits of course, but just friends. And now he was telling me that he loved—err, hated—me.
And the first thing that came to my mind was Derrick. How could I do this to him? It was only a few months ago he’d passed away. And I was sitting in a bedroom with another man.
Chapter Sixteen
WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking? Son of a bitch. Please stop crying. Andrea’s eyes were flooding with tears. She turned her back to me and kept saying it was all right. That she was fine.
“Clearly you’re not, Andrea.” I’m sorry. I couldn’t believe I put my foot in my mouth in such a stupid-ass way. “I didn’t mean it!” I swore. Yes, I did mean it. I loved her. I couldn’t help it. How could anyone not love such a woman? Broken pieces and all. But if telling her I loved her meant she would shatter even more, then I would take it back. I would laugh it off. I would want her to doubt there was any truth to the matter.
She turned and wiped her eyes. Laughing, she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m all right. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten so personal with stating the likes earlier. I’m sorry, it’s just…”
She paused and shifted her feet on the ground. I wished I could wrap my arms around her and protect her from the demons that were attacking her fragile thoughts, but I knew right now wouldn’t be the time or place. I gave her the time she needed to arrange her thoughts.
“It’s just—it’s all crap, you know? That ‘‘Til death do us part.’ That ‘love forever and always’ garbage. I mean, I know Derrick and I weren’t officially married, but we believed in the vows the first day we met. And here’s the thing…The person who dies from the car crash, he gets to leave. That’s the end of it for them. But there’s the other person still left behind in this damn place. The person still attached to those bullshit vows. And you’re stuck. And you can’t move.”
She was overwhelmed. Her poor eyes were bloodshot and her small body shook with sadness. What was I doing? It was only a little over six months ago when she went through the worst tragedy any person could experience. The words she spoke were cutting me because I never truly stopped to see how she was still in mourning.
“And out of nowhere, it seems you start to forget the little things about him. His smells are gone from the pillows. His laugh is hard to imagine. And you feel guilty that you’re forgetting, so you try hard to hold on to something that’s not even there anymore. And you feel ashamed…”
Her eyes met mine and her legs trembled as she bit her bottom lip—a trait she had when she was nervous. “And you feel ashamed because you like so many things about someone else. And you feel as if you’re cheating on your loved one.”
“Andrea…Derrick would want you to be happy.”
“I don’t deserve to be happy.”
“Why not?”
Her tears ran down her cheeks and she shook her head back and forth. She was fighting the biggest battle with her inner self. “Because I killed him.”
I could tell it was that one thought which had been haunting her since the accident. I could tell she had never said those words before, but she thought them daily. And I could tell she meant it from the bottom of her heart. “No, you didn’t.”
She nodded franticly, everything about her being falling apart. “Yes I did. I did. I should have watched the road better. I should have focused. If it weren’t for me, he would be alive.”
I stepped close to her and she stepped back, shaking her head. I cringed a bit, watching her clam up. “Andrea…”
“I don’t deserve to be…” She cried, rubbing her hands across her face.
“Don’t say it.” I warned her. She didn’t think she deserved to live…She believed she should have died. That thought alone made me die a little. She shifted her eyes to the ground, shaking her head back and forth, gasping for air as her lungs went into overdrive. She was having a panic attack, and I was scared shitless that she was going to pass out any second now.
“Andrea, look at me. Now.” I demanded. When her eyes met mine, I made sure not to lose her. “I need you to do something for me.” Her head tilted to the side, wondering what I would request. Her tiny body was still a wreck from shaking.
