Trailer Park Heart
Page 57
I told her how I’d gone to Kristen March’s party with the goal to hang out with Logan and instead I’d spent most of my night with Levi. I’d still ended up sleeping with Logan. And nine months later, six months after Logan had been killed by an IED, my precious baby boy had been born. I filled her in on everything, right up until Levi peeled out of my driveway last Saturday.
She reached across the table and grabbed my hand, clutching it tightly in hers. “And you kept it a secret this whole time?”
“I was just a kid,” I whispered, unwanted tears pricking my eyes. “I was scared someone would try to take my baby away. And… I didn’t want to hurt Logan’s family anymore than they were already hurting. I figured, showing up with a baby months after their son had died was just about as awful as it gets. Time kept moving though and Max got older and older and then it felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. Logan has been gone for so long, I didn’t think anybody would believe me anyway.”
“Levi Cole sure did,” she murmured thoughtfully.
“He recognized Logan,” I whispered, the words choked and stubborn in my throat. “Max is six and a half and not one person has questioned me to my face about who his dad is. The first time Levi saw Max, he said he knew.”
“Then what’s he so mad about?” Rosie asked, her hand dropping to her hip. “If he knew Max was his brother’s, why hasn’t he talked to you?”
Shrugging, I shoved another bite of French silk pie in my mouth and wiped at a stray tear with the back of my hand. “I don’t know.”
“You need to talk to him.”
I gave her a look. “I realize.”
“Good.”
“Why good?”
She looked over my shoulder. “Because he’s here.”
“Because he’s what?” I grabbed the nearest napkin and wiped at my face. Oh, my god, I had French silk pie breath!
The bells over the door jingled and on instinct I turned around as he stepped through the doorway. He didn’t hesitate. His gaze found me immediately, drinking me in, eating me up, consuming me in every single way possible.
Had he really cared about me since high school?
Another memory flashed. It was after one of his football games, an important one. Coco had dragged me to it and we’d wrapped ourselves in a quilt, so she could yell at boys in tight pants to run faster. She loved football. Because she was a crazy person. I had always struggled to understand the rules. But I’d gone to support her.
Levi had found me after the game. I had been standing near the fence while Coco went to talk to the guy she had a thing for. He was the tight end, or he had a tight end or something? To this day I was confused.
Levi had walked over, all teenage boy swagger and sweat. His hair had been longer back then, and he’d done this head flip thing that made him look like he belonged in one of those sexy body wash commercials. I remembered feeling like he’d stripped me bare right there in front of everyone and revealed my deepest, darkest secrets.
“You came,” he said as he stopped a foot away from me, smelling like two hours of a hard-fought victory.
“Coco dragged me here,” I told him, attempting to lick my dry lips.
“I asked her to,” he said.
“What? Why?” I was immediately paranoid. What was he going to do? Why did he want me here? He had just broken up with his girlfriend and I’d made a snide comment earlier today about how he went through girls like Kleenex. Was this his retaliation?
He smiled, and it was all Levi, cocky, confident, totally blinding. “It was a big game,” he answered. “It’s a big deal that we won.”
Knowing this was a moment he deserved, I said, “Congrats. You were amazing tonight.” Hating that the truth had slipped from my mouth, I amended to something less guys. “I mean, you played… well.”
He took a step forward and dropped his voice. “There’s a party at Finch’s house tonight. Want to go?”
Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I shifted on my feet, desperate to run. I did want to go to Finch’s. I wasn’t invited to many parties. I wasn’t part of the cool crowd. Partly because of who I was and where I lived. But also, partly because I’d made such an effort to avoid the whole lot of them. I didn’t want to get sucked further into this town. I wanted to leave.
I wanted to escape.
I wanted to run.
But going to a party with Levi tonight didn’t feel like running. Going to a party with Levi felt very much like signing over my future to this town in blood.
Words had blurted from my mouth that I didn’t really mean, words that would remind Levi why we hated each other, why we were always fighting, words that would make him stop asking me to parties or to study or to hang out with him.
Words that would make sure I left this town for good.
“I’d rather do just about anything else.” Folding my arms over my chest, I’d lifted my chin high and looked over his shoulder. “Thanks, but no thanks, Cole. Enjoy your fifteen minutes though. I’m sure there will be plenty of girls to fill the space what’s-her-name left.”
I moved to walk by and he grabbed my wrist, holding me so his mouth could drop next to my ear. “You’re such a dirty liar, Dawson. One day you’re going to figure out how bad you got it for me and then it’s going to be too late. Then you’re going to regret all of these games you play.”
I couldn’t remember how that moment had ended. Had I said something snarky and stormed off? Or just stormed off? I hadn’t gone to that party though. And he’d been right.
One day I was going to regret all the games I’d played.
That day was today. And it was because of the hateful way he looked at me. Gone was the sweet, sexy smile he’d been shooting me over the last few months. And in its place was fire and brimstone and the hatred I deserved.
“Hey, Rosie.” He didn’t bother looking at her though. It was an obligatory greeting that was as shallow as a toothpick. To me he said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
I glanced back at Rosie, not so much asking for permission as I was asking for help. She nodded her chin, her eyes set in a firm expression of, “Getchya ass outta here.”
“S-sure.”
He turned around and stalked back outside, not even waiting for me to finish speaking. I slid off the stool and followed him.
I wrapped my arms around my waist, not remembering it had gotten chilly until I was standing outside in just my waitress dress with bare legs and arms.
He crowded me against the building and asked, “Do you want to grab a coat?”
Locking my jaw together so my teeth didn’t chatter, I said, “I’m fine.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t have the patience to argue. “I’ll keep this short,” he said, but his teeth clicked together in frustration before he could speak again. “My parents would like to invite you and Max over for Thanksgiving dinner.”
My heart dropped to my toes and panic licked through me. “What? Why?”
His green eyes flashed with fury and for a second I imagined him Hulking out completely and destroying poor, little downtown Clark City. “Why do you think, Ruby? They’d like to meet their grandson.”
I’d known it was a strong possibility he would tell his parents, but his words still cut to the very core of me, splitting my soul in two. “You told them?”
She reached across the table and grabbed my hand, clutching it tightly in hers. “And you kept it a secret this whole time?”
“I was just a kid,” I whispered, unwanted tears pricking my eyes. “I was scared someone would try to take my baby away. And… I didn’t want to hurt Logan’s family anymore than they were already hurting. I figured, showing up with a baby months after their son had died was just about as awful as it gets. Time kept moving though and Max got older and older and then it felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. Logan has been gone for so long, I didn’t think anybody would believe me anyway.”
“Levi Cole sure did,” she murmured thoughtfully.
“He recognized Logan,” I whispered, the words choked and stubborn in my throat. “Max is six and a half and not one person has questioned me to my face about who his dad is. The first time Levi saw Max, he said he knew.”
“Then what’s he so mad about?” Rosie asked, her hand dropping to her hip. “If he knew Max was his brother’s, why hasn’t he talked to you?”
Shrugging, I shoved another bite of French silk pie in my mouth and wiped at a stray tear with the back of my hand. “I don’t know.”
“You need to talk to him.”
I gave her a look. “I realize.”
“Good.”
“Why good?”
She looked over my shoulder. “Because he’s here.”
“Because he’s what?” I grabbed the nearest napkin and wiped at my face. Oh, my god, I had French silk pie breath!
The bells over the door jingled and on instinct I turned around as he stepped through the doorway. He didn’t hesitate. His gaze found me immediately, drinking me in, eating me up, consuming me in every single way possible.
Had he really cared about me since high school?
Another memory flashed. It was after one of his football games, an important one. Coco had dragged me to it and we’d wrapped ourselves in a quilt, so she could yell at boys in tight pants to run faster. She loved football. Because she was a crazy person. I had always struggled to understand the rules. But I’d gone to support her.
Levi had found me after the game. I had been standing near the fence while Coco went to talk to the guy she had a thing for. He was the tight end, or he had a tight end or something? To this day I was confused.
Levi had walked over, all teenage boy swagger and sweat. His hair had been longer back then, and he’d done this head flip thing that made him look like he belonged in one of those sexy body wash commercials. I remembered feeling like he’d stripped me bare right there in front of everyone and revealed my deepest, darkest secrets.
“You came,” he said as he stopped a foot away from me, smelling like two hours of a hard-fought victory.
“Coco dragged me here,” I told him, attempting to lick my dry lips.
“I asked her to,” he said.
“What? Why?” I was immediately paranoid. What was he going to do? Why did he want me here? He had just broken up with his girlfriend and I’d made a snide comment earlier today about how he went through girls like Kleenex. Was this his retaliation?
He smiled, and it was all Levi, cocky, confident, totally blinding. “It was a big game,” he answered. “It’s a big deal that we won.”
Knowing this was a moment he deserved, I said, “Congrats. You were amazing tonight.” Hating that the truth had slipped from my mouth, I amended to something less guys. “I mean, you played… well.”
He took a step forward and dropped his voice. “There’s a party at Finch’s house tonight. Want to go?”
Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I shifted on my feet, desperate to run. I did want to go to Finch’s. I wasn’t invited to many parties. I wasn’t part of the cool crowd. Partly because of who I was and where I lived. But also, partly because I’d made such an effort to avoid the whole lot of them. I didn’t want to get sucked further into this town. I wanted to leave.
I wanted to escape.
I wanted to run.
But going to a party with Levi tonight didn’t feel like running. Going to a party with Levi felt very much like signing over my future to this town in blood.
Words had blurted from my mouth that I didn’t really mean, words that would remind Levi why we hated each other, why we were always fighting, words that would make him stop asking me to parties or to study or to hang out with him.
Words that would make sure I left this town for good.
“I’d rather do just about anything else.” Folding my arms over my chest, I’d lifted my chin high and looked over his shoulder. “Thanks, but no thanks, Cole. Enjoy your fifteen minutes though. I’m sure there will be plenty of girls to fill the space what’s-her-name left.”
I moved to walk by and he grabbed my wrist, holding me so his mouth could drop next to my ear. “You’re such a dirty liar, Dawson. One day you’re going to figure out how bad you got it for me and then it’s going to be too late. Then you’re going to regret all of these games you play.”
I couldn’t remember how that moment had ended. Had I said something snarky and stormed off? Or just stormed off? I hadn’t gone to that party though. And he’d been right.
One day I was going to regret all the games I’d played.
That day was today. And it was because of the hateful way he looked at me. Gone was the sweet, sexy smile he’d been shooting me over the last few months. And in its place was fire and brimstone and the hatred I deserved.
“Hey, Rosie.” He didn’t bother looking at her though. It was an obligatory greeting that was as shallow as a toothpick. To me he said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
I glanced back at Rosie, not so much asking for permission as I was asking for help. She nodded her chin, her eyes set in a firm expression of, “Getchya ass outta here.”
“S-sure.”
He turned around and stalked back outside, not even waiting for me to finish speaking. I slid off the stool and followed him.
I wrapped my arms around my waist, not remembering it had gotten chilly until I was standing outside in just my waitress dress with bare legs and arms.
He crowded me against the building and asked, “Do you want to grab a coat?”
Locking my jaw together so my teeth didn’t chatter, I said, “I’m fine.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t have the patience to argue. “I’ll keep this short,” he said, but his teeth clicked together in frustration before he could speak again. “My parents would like to invite you and Max over for Thanksgiving dinner.”
My heart dropped to my toes and panic licked through me. “What? Why?”
His green eyes flashed with fury and for a second I imagined him Hulking out completely and destroying poor, little downtown Clark City. “Why do you think, Ruby? They’d like to meet their grandson.”
I’d known it was a strong possibility he would tell his parents, but his words still cut to the very core of me, splitting my soul in two. “You told them?”
