Trailer Park Heart
Page 56
I could admit that I trusted Levi, that now that he was back in town there was a part of me that had wanted to share the truth with him. I would have rather done that on my terms… but that’s not what happened. Anyway, I didn’t hate that Levi knew Max was his nephew—no matter how that left things for Levi and me.
But Levi had been gone for seven years. And if the truth would have come out back then, I would have been left to deal with his parents. By myself.
And I wouldn’t have had any help. I couldn’t count on my mom. And Coco only just returned herself.
If they had wanted to fight for Max, they would have won. I was his mom, and fine that counted for something, but I knew how this world worked and they had the money.
And the connections.
And the power.
So, Levi could be mad all he wanted, but I knew without a doubt I’d done the right thing.
I felt great for all of three seconds and then “How Do I Live” by LeAnn Rimes came through the diner speakers and I felt like stomping my foot in protest. I didn’t, because I was a grown-up, but I felt like it.
“Y’all right, sugar?” Rosie asked when I brought a bucket full of dishes behind the counter. “For a moment there I thought you were going to throw those plates against the wall.” She looked off in the distance and added, “Wouldn’t have been the first time that’s happened, mind you. But it’s a hell of a mess to clean up.”
My lips lifted, and I was surprised to find myself smiling. It was small, barely there, but it was there. “I might have thought about it for a split second,” I admitted. “But then I realized I’d be the one cleaning it up and decided it did not sound appealing.”
She laughed before going over to the pie display and pulling a piece of chocolate silk from inside. “Must be man trouble then.” She motioned to the stools on the other side of the counter. “Sit down and tell me about it.”
“How can you tell?” I asked, too perplexed by her detective skills to argue.
“Because if it would have been your job you were mad at, you wouldn’t have been considering the mess. You’d have just thrown the dishes and walked out with your middle fingers held high.” She slid the pie toward me. “Or at least that’s what the last girl did.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Whether the story was true or not didn’t matter, it had pulled my spirits up from the black abyss and I appreciated Rosie’s concern. Sometimes she was a cool boss. Sometimes she was the mom I didn’t get. Either way, I liked her. And if anyone knew anything about men, it was going to be Rosie.
She handed me a fork and said, “All right, dish.”
Slicing off a thin bite, I said, “It’s about Levi Cole.”
“Of course it is.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter and winked at me. “Only one man in town worth having the kind of trouble that requires pie and it’s that man.” I gaped at her, but she just continued saying outrageous things. “Now, I know the boy’s interested in you. He’s paid the electric bill this month on his coffee orders alone. So, what’s the problem? Is it Max?”
I took a bite of pie, so I could stall. Finally, I admitted, “Yes, it’s Max, but it’s not what you think. I mean it is. But it’s also not.”
“How do you know what I think?” she challenged.
Well, she had me there. “I thought you might assume I didn’t want to date anyone while Max was at home.”
“You’re dating that cowboy, aren’t you? Seems to me that’s not the problem.”
She meant Ajax. “I wasn’t dating him… I was, I don’t know. Never mind about him. This conversation is about Levi.” Good grief, I’d made so many mistakes. I took another bite of pie. “Besides, with Ajax, I knew that wasn’t serious. There was never a chance of us… settling down together. I knew what he wanted. And he didn’t care what I wanted. Things were simpler with him.”
“And they’re not simple with Levi? Surprise of the century.”
Her tone was so bored I couldn’t help but ask, “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, that boy doesn’t look at you like he wants to keep things casual.”
I waited for her to explain and when she didn’t, I went fishing. “How does he look at me?”
She made a sound in the back of her throat and said, “Like he wants to throw you over his shoulder and carry you back to his cave.”
“Rosie!”
“I mean it, Ruby. That boy has forever in his eyes if I’ve ever seen it. He’s looked at you like that since high school. I’ve been waiting for you to figure it out.”
I licked my lips, feeling worse and worse. How was it I had no idea how Levi felt about me? Again, the duology of emotion split me down the middle. If I’d known Levi cared for me so much, I might not have slept with Logan. But then again, if I hadn’t slept with Logan, I wouldn’t have Max. So sure, things might have been easier, but that didn’t mean they would have been better. I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which my life didn’t end with Max in it. He was my everything.
I supposed that applied to today too. Just because things weren’t going to be easy with Levi, even as far as friendship went after my secrets were spilled, didn’t mean they weren’t worthy pursuits. Yes, Max complicated things, but in the very best way.
“That’s where Max comes in,” I confessed.
“He doesn’t want a son that’s not his?”
“No! Oh, my gosh, Rosie, we’re nowhere near that conversation. And besides that’s exactly the problem.”
“Max is his?” Rosie guessed, and I nearly smashed the pie in her face. Obviously, I didn’t do that because it was delicious, and I wasn’t crazy enough to give up free pie. But if she didn’t stop finishing my sentences with bad ones of her own, I was going to lose it.
“No! Geez, stop guessing for a second and I’ll explain.” She waved me on impatiently. I couldn’t believe I was about to spill this secret for the second time this week, but now that it was out in the open, I didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. The people I wanted to protect knew by now or if they didn’t, they would soon. Levi would tell his parents. I felt it in my bones. And then the whole town would know. The thing I’d worked hard to keep secret for seven years was going to be exposed and strangely it felt like a weight was being taken off my shoulders. I no longer dreaded people’s side eyes or strained whispers. I no longer feared being exposed or made into the town Hester Prynne.
Okay, maybe I feared a scarlet letter A just a little bit, but Max belonging to the town’s golden boy was only going to open up opportunities for him.
Or at least I hoped so.
Only time would tell. I wasn’t going to shrink back from it anymore though. This was my history, this was the truth and Max was a good kid that didn’t deserve to be treated any way but with respect.
“Well?” Rosie prompted.
“Max is Logan Cole’s son.” The words landed like a stone falling to the ground from nowhere, like I knew they would. The news was shocking, downright scandalous.
It took Rosie a moment to collect herself. She opened her mouth several times trying to speak but nothing came out. On her third attempt, I decided to put her out of her misery and filled her in on the whole story.
But Levi had been gone for seven years. And if the truth would have come out back then, I would have been left to deal with his parents. By myself.
And I wouldn’t have had any help. I couldn’t count on my mom. And Coco only just returned herself.
If they had wanted to fight for Max, they would have won. I was his mom, and fine that counted for something, but I knew how this world worked and they had the money.
And the connections.
And the power.
So, Levi could be mad all he wanted, but I knew without a doubt I’d done the right thing.
I felt great for all of three seconds and then “How Do I Live” by LeAnn Rimes came through the diner speakers and I felt like stomping my foot in protest. I didn’t, because I was a grown-up, but I felt like it.
“Y’all right, sugar?” Rosie asked when I brought a bucket full of dishes behind the counter. “For a moment there I thought you were going to throw those plates against the wall.” She looked off in the distance and added, “Wouldn’t have been the first time that’s happened, mind you. But it’s a hell of a mess to clean up.”
My lips lifted, and I was surprised to find myself smiling. It was small, barely there, but it was there. “I might have thought about it for a split second,” I admitted. “But then I realized I’d be the one cleaning it up and decided it did not sound appealing.”
She laughed before going over to the pie display and pulling a piece of chocolate silk from inside. “Must be man trouble then.” She motioned to the stools on the other side of the counter. “Sit down and tell me about it.”
“How can you tell?” I asked, too perplexed by her detective skills to argue.
“Because if it would have been your job you were mad at, you wouldn’t have been considering the mess. You’d have just thrown the dishes and walked out with your middle fingers held high.” She slid the pie toward me. “Or at least that’s what the last girl did.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. Whether the story was true or not didn’t matter, it had pulled my spirits up from the black abyss and I appreciated Rosie’s concern. Sometimes she was a cool boss. Sometimes she was the mom I didn’t get. Either way, I liked her. And if anyone knew anything about men, it was going to be Rosie.
She handed me a fork and said, “All right, dish.”
Slicing off a thin bite, I said, “It’s about Levi Cole.”
“Of course it is.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter and winked at me. “Only one man in town worth having the kind of trouble that requires pie and it’s that man.” I gaped at her, but she just continued saying outrageous things. “Now, I know the boy’s interested in you. He’s paid the electric bill this month on his coffee orders alone. So, what’s the problem? Is it Max?”
I took a bite of pie, so I could stall. Finally, I admitted, “Yes, it’s Max, but it’s not what you think. I mean it is. But it’s also not.”
“How do you know what I think?” she challenged.
Well, she had me there. “I thought you might assume I didn’t want to date anyone while Max was at home.”
“You’re dating that cowboy, aren’t you? Seems to me that’s not the problem.”
She meant Ajax. “I wasn’t dating him… I was, I don’t know. Never mind about him. This conversation is about Levi.” Good grief, I’d made so many mistakes. I took another bite of pie. “Besides, with Ajax, I knew that wasn’t serious. There was never a chance of us… settling down together. I knew what he wanted. And he didn’t care what I wanted. Things were simpler with him.”
“And they’re not simple with Levi? Surprise of the century.”
Her tone was so bored I couldn’t help but ask, “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, that boy doesn’t look at you like he wants to keep things casual.”
I waited for her to explain and when she didn’t, I went fishing. “How does he look at me?”
She made a sound in the back of her throat and said, “Like he wants to throw you over his shoulder and carry you back to his cave.”
“Rosie!”
“I mean it, Ruby. That boy has forever in his eyes if I’ve ever seen it. He’s looked at you like that since high school. I’ve been waiting for you to figure it out.”
I licked my lips, feeling worse and worse. How was it I had no idea how Levi felt about me? Again, the duology of emotion split me down the middle. If I’d known Levi cared for me so much, I might not have slept with Logan. But then again, if I hadn’t slept with Logan, I wouldn’t have Max. So sure, things might have been easier, but that didn’t mean they would have been better. I couldn’t imagine a scenario in which my life didn’t end with Max in it. He was my everything.
I supposed that applied to today too. Just because things weren’t going to be easy with Levi, even as far as friendship went after my secrets were spilled, didn’t mean they weren’t worthy pursuits. Yes, Max complicated things, but in the very best way.
“That’s where Max comes in,” I confessed.
“He doesn’t want a son that’s not his?”
“No! Oh, my gosh, Rosie, we’re nowhere near that conversation. And besides that’s exactly the problem.”
“Max is his?” Rosie guessed, and I nearly smashed the pie in her face. Obviously, I didn’t do that because it was delicious, and I wasn’t crazy enough to give up free pie. But if she didn’t stop finishing my sentences with bad ones of her own, I was going to lose it.
“No! Geez, stop guessing for a second and I’ll explain.” She waved me on impatiently. I couldn’t believe I was about to spill this secret for the second time this week, but now that it was out in the open, I didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. The people I wanted to protect knew by now or if they didn’t, they would soon. Levi would tell his parents. I felt it in my bones. And then the whole town would know. The thing I’d worked hard to keep secret for seven years was going to be exposed and strangely it felt like a weight was being taken off my shoulders. I no longer dreaded people’s side eyes or strained whispers. I no longer feared being exposed or made into the town Hester Prynne.
Okay, maybe I feared a scarlet letter A just a little bit, but Max belonging to the town’s golden boy was only going to open up opportunities for him.
Or at least I hoped so.
Only time would tell. I wasn’t going to shrink back from it anymore though. This was my history, this was the truth and Max was a good kid that didn’t deserve to be treated any way but with respect.
“Well?” Rosie prompted.
“Max is Logan Cole’s son.” The words landed like a stone falling to the ground from nowhere, like I knew they would. The news was shocking, downright scandalous.
It took Rosie a moment to collect herself. She opened her mouth several times trying to speak but nothing came out. On her third attempt, I decided to put her out of her misery and filled her in on the whole story.
