Unconditional
Page 60
“I don’t know where he is,” the temporary bartender shrugs when I ask if she’s seen Garrett. “He texted asking me to close up. If you find him, tell him he owes me big time!”
“I will.” I duck into the back and hurry upstairs, wondering if he’s waiting for me up there. But the small apartment is empty, so I grab my purse, finding my phone to try his number.
Voicemail.
“Where are you?” I exclaim, my heart still racing. “This place is crazy, and you’ll never guess who showed up: Juliet! I can’t tell you all this over the phone,” I decide in the moment. “I’m coming to you. Call me!”
A whirlwind of giddy relief and joy drives me back downstairs and outside. Garrett’s truck is gone, so I climb into my car and drive down the winding coastal road out to the beach house. I roll all the windows down, savoring the feel of the cool night air whipping around my head with the memories of the night I’ve just had.
It might just be the best night of my life.
Who would have thought just a month ago, that I would wind up here, feeling so free? My life had been a series of gilt-edged cages: beautiful, but so constricting. I lived out my life by a set of rules I didn’t even realize were fencing me in, binding me to my unhappiness, as if all the gloss and style in the world could make up for how trapped and miserable I really was.
I felt numb, I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t love.
And now…The future feels wide open to me, full of possibilities I never thought were in my grasp. The chance of forging a new relationship with Juliet is a gift I’m determined to earn, but just knowing that she wants to try to work through our terrible past fills me with a relief so sweet I could sing. A home, a job: those are details I can work out down the road. For now, it’s the relationships in my life now that give me such hope—hope I can build a life for myself the way I used to dream about, before the world, and all my cruel cynicism, got in the way.
A life of friendship and family. A life of honesty, and true emotion.
A life of love.
I pull into the driveway at the beach house, my heart lifting to see Garrett’s truck parked outside. I stop the car and leap out, running up the front steps.
“Garrett?” I call happily, heading inside. I find him on the back porch, sitting on the long bench in the dark. He’s left the lights off, and everything is shadowed and dim.
“Where did you disappear to?” I ask him breathlessly. My smile is so wide, my cheeks ache, but I couldn’t stop it if I tried. I take his hands, pulling him to his feet. “Did you get my message? Juliet was there! She and Emerson came, and, oh, Garrett, I think we’re really going to work it out. You should have seen us,” I babble, “we were crying like a couple of idiots. I had to go finish my set, but we’re going to hang out next week. Or at least try.”
Garrett gives me a faint smile. “That’s great,” he says quietly. “I hope you guys can work it out.”
“And I have you to thank for everything,” I tell him gratefully.
“Carina—” he tries to interrupt, but I stop him.
“No, seriously,” I insist. “You don’t understand, without you, I would never have found the strength to try. Garrett, all of this is because of you!”
I wrap my arms around his neck, lifting my head to find his lips in a tender kiss. Just the touch of him sends me spinning off into orbit, the taste of him, the smell. I want to show him everything I’m feeling, everything I need to share, so I kiss him deeper, pouring all my joyful emotion into the moment, but Garrett suddenly wrenches away.
“Don’t!” he growls, roughly turning away from me.
I stand there, stunned. For the first time, I realize that Garrett’s face is a stony mask of tension. He stands, bunching his hands in his front pockets, his shoulders hunched as he gazes out at the dark shore.
Silence.
My heart sinks.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, taking a step closer. I reach out to touch his arm, but he flinches back, his muscle hard as flint under my hand. “Did something happen?” I ask, feeling a sudden tremor of fear. “Garrett?”
He slowly shakes his head. “Nothing happened.” His voice is low, hoarse with defeat.
“Then I don’t understand.” I blink up at him, looking for any hint of what’s going on behind the blank expression on his face. Every instinct I have is screaming now that something terrible is about to happen, but Garrett doesn’t say another word. The silence stretches, agonizing.
“You have to talk to me,” I say, my voice trembling with nerves. “I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
There’s another agonizing moment’s silence, and then he turns back to me. His face is stormy, his eyes full of bleak certainty.
“This isn’t working for me.”
25
I stare. The words drift over me, but they don’t register; slippery as eels, I can’t get a firm grasp.
“What isn’t working?” I ask, confused.
“This. Us.” Garrett looks down. “Whatever we’ve been doing here, it’s time we called it a day.”
“No,” I whisper, stepping back as the truth crashes over me. “Garrett, no.”
“I told you from the start I don’t get involved.” Garrett keeps looking at the ground, avoiding my eyes. “We’ve had some fun, but I think we should go back to just being friends.”
“I will.” I duck into the back and hurry upstairs, wondering if he’s waiting for me up there. But the small apartment is empty, so I grab my purse, finding my phone to try his number.
Voicemail.
“Where are you?” I exclaim, my heart still racing. “This place is crazy, and you’ll never guess who showed up: Juliet! I can’t tell you all this over the phone,” I decide in the moment. “I’m coming to you. Call me!”
A whirlwind of giddy relief and joy drives me back downstairs and outside. Garrett’s truck is gone, so I climb into my car and drive down the winding coastal road out to the beach house. I roll all the windows down, savoring the feel of the cool night air whipping around my head with the memories of the night I’ve just had.
It might just be the best night of my life.
Who would have thought just a month ago, that I would wind up here, feeling so free? My life had been a series of gilt-edged cages: beautiful, but so constricting. I lived out my life by a set of rules I didn’t even realize were fencing me in, binding me to my unhappiness, as if all the gloss and style in the world could make up for how trapped and miserable I really was.
I felt numb, I couldn’t breathe.
I didn’t love.
And now…The future feels wide open to me, full of possibilities I never thought were in my grasp. The chance of forging a new relationship with Juliet is a gift I’m determined to earn, but just knowing that she wants to try to work through our terrible past fills me with a relief so sweet I could sing. A home, a job: those are details I can work out down the road. For now, it’s the relationships in my life now that give me such hope—hope I can build a life for myself the way I used to dream about, before the world, and all my cruel cynicism, got in the way.
A life of friendship and family. A life of honesty, and true emotion.
A life of love.
I pull into the driveway at the beach house, my heart lifting to see Garrett’s truck parked outside. I stop the car and leap out, running up the front steps.
“Garrett?” I call happily, heading inside. I find him on the back porch, sitting on the long bench in the dark. He’s left the lights off, and everything is shadowed and dim.
“Where did you disappear to?” I ask him breathlessly. My smile is so wide, my cheeks ache, but I couldn’t stop it if I tried. I take his hands, pulling him to his feet. “Did you get my message? Juliet was there! She and Emerson came, and, oh, Garrett, I think we’re really going to work it out. You should have seen us,” I babble, “we were crying like a couple of idiots. I had to go finish my set, but we’re going to hang out next week. Or at least try.”
Garrett gives me a faint smile. “That’s great,” he says quietly. “I hope you guys can work it out.”
“And I have you to thank for everything,” I tell him gratefully.
“Carina—” he tries to interrupt, but I stop him.
“No, seriously,” I insist. “You don’t understand, without you, I would never have found the strength to try. Garrett, all of this is because of you!”
I wrap my arms around his neck, lifting my head to find his lips in a tender kiss. Just the touch of him sends me spinning off into orbit, the taste of him, the smell. I want to show him everything I’m feeling, everything I need to share, so I kiss him deeper, pouring all my joyful emotion into the moment, but Garrett suddenly wrenches away.
“Don’t!” he growls, roughly turning away from me.
I stand there, stunned. For the first time, I realize that Garrett’s face is a stony mask of tension. He stands, bunching his hands in his front pockets, his shoulders hunched as he gazes out at the dark shore.
Silence.
My heart sinks.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, taking a step closer. I reach out to touch his arm, but he flinches back, his muscle hard as flint under my hand. “Did something happen?” I ask, feeling a sudden tremor of fear. “Garrett?”
He slowly shakes his head. “Nothing happened.” His voice is low, hoarse with defeat.
“Then I don’t understand.” I blink up at him, looking for any hint of what’s going on behind the blank expression on his face. Every instinct I have is screaming now that something terrible is about to happen, but Garrett doesn’t say another word. The silence stretches, agonizing.
“You have to talk to me,” I say, my voice trembling with nerves. “I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
There’s another agonizing moment’s silence, and then he turns back to me. His face is stormy, his eyes full of bleak certainty.
“This isn’t working for me.”
25
I stare. The words drift over me, but they don’t register; slippery as eels, I can’t get a firm grasp.
“What isn’t working?” I ask, confused.
“This. Us.” Garrett looks down. “Whatever we’ve been doing here, it’s time we called it a day.”
“No,” I whisper, stepping back as the truth crashes over me. “Garrett, no.”
“I told you from the start I don’t get involved.” Garrett keeps looking at the ground, avoiding my eyes. “We’ve had some fun, but I think we should go back to just being friends.”
