Unsuitable
Page 96
Jesse has to come first. He will always come first.
Turning, I step away from Kas.
“Your name is clear,” he says from behind me. “You can do anything. Go anywhere. Make a better life for yourself and Jesse. You don’t need a screwed up fuck like me holding you back.”
I spin around, ready to argue, but he holds a hand up, stopping me.
“And I need time, Daisy.” His eyes hold mine, a thousand emotions running through them. None of them are good. “I need to find out who I am.” His words cut me down. “I’ve spent the last seven years of my life chasing revenge, being obsessed with it…and, now…” He blows out a breath, looking lost. “I need time,” he whispers.
He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.
I want to curl up into a ball on the floor and cry.
But I don’t.
I do what I always do. I hold steady. “Where will you go?” I ask quietly.
“Greece. If you still need the job at the estate, I’m hiring someone to run it—”
I shake my head.
I couldn’t go there every day and see that place. See the bed where he once made love to me…
“If you need money,” he says.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know you will be.”
I lift my eyes to him to see a sad smile touching his lips.
And I don’t look away. I keep staring at him, soaking in every detail of him, knowing it’s the last time I’m ever going to see him.
And he stares right back at me.
My heart is beating painfully. I’m slowly dying on the inside.
I have to get away from him. I need to stop feeling this way.
But I’m not ready to leave him yet.
Deep down, I know I’ll never be ready.
“So…” I hear myself saying, breaking our quiet.
Kas doesn’t speak. He just walks over to me. And, when he reaches me, he takes my face in his hands. His eyes roam my features, like he’s drinking me in.
My mouth is dry. There are hot tears behind my eyes, and my throat feels like it’s about to crack.
“Daisy…” he whispers my name. He slowly brings his mouth to mine, only closing his eyes when our lips meet.
He softly kisses me, tasting me, letting his tongue slide along mine.
Tears fill my eyes as I memorize the feel of him against me, the way he kisses me.
Then, he deepens the kiss, clutching me to him. And I match him stroke for stroke.
“I love you,” he breathes against my lips. “That will never change, no matter where I am.”
I love you, too.
Don’t leave me, please.
The words are on the tip of my tongue.
But I never say them.
I have to let him go. For his sake. For Jesse’s. And for mine.
“Will I ever see you again?” I breathe through the agony.
He tugs me into his arms and hugs me tight. “Thank you,” he whispers, answering my question without actually saying the words. “You brought me back to life, Daisy, and for that, I will never be able to repay you.”
I’m never going to see him again.
My heart splinters in two.
He removes his arms from around me, leaving me cold. He stares down at me and gives me a sad smile. “Good-bye, Daisy Smith.”
I swallow past my tears. “Good-bye, Kastor Matis,” I whisper.
He touches my cheek with his hand one last time, and then he turns and walks out of my apartment and out of my life, taking a piece of my broken heart with him.
Epilogue
Three and a Half Years Later
Seeing the last customer out, bidding them good-bye, I shut the door and turn the sign over to read, Closed. Walking back around the counter, I drop my tired butt down onto a stool.
It’s been a long day.
A hard day.
Jesse’s starting university.
I drove him there this morning, so he could get settled in the dorm.
So, we’d packed my car up with his stuff, and I’d tried not to cry the whole time.
Yep, I have a car. I learned how to drive a few years ago. So much easier having a car, and I’m going to need it with Jesse being in Birmingham.
I was so proud of him when he got accepted. I might have wanted him to stay in London, but he’d loved Birmingham when we visited earlier in the year, and they have a really good law school.
Yep, that’s right. My boy wants to be a lawyer.
When he told me what he wanted to be, I won’t deny that I was surprised. He’d never shown an interest in the law before.
And the law hadn’t exactly been a friend to me over the years.
But whatever he wanted to do, I would be happy with it. I’d support him.
Then, he told me why he wanted to be a lawyer.
He said that the law had failed me in so many ways. My lawyer had failed me. He said there were too many shit lawyers out there, and he wanted to be one of the good ones. He wants to make a difference. Make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to anyone else.
I got a little choked up at that.
Okay, I might have cried.
I’m a weepy bitch nowadays.
So, I got my boy settled in his room and helped him unpack his things. Then, I left him to get to know his roommates.
I might have cried a little bit then too.
Okay, I held on to him for ages and sobbed before managing to pry myself away from him.
Once I got in my car, it took me a good fifteen minutes to be able to drive, as my eyes were blurry from all the crying.
Turning, I step away from Kas.
“Your name is clear,” he says from behind me. “You can do anything. Go anywhere. Make a better life for yourself and Jesse. You don’t need a screwed up fuck like me holding you back.”
I spin around, ready to argue, but he holds a hand up, stopping me.
“And I need time, Daisy.” His eyes hold mine, a thousand emotions running through them. None of them are good. “I need to find out who I am.” His words cut me down. “I’ve spent the last seven years of my life chasing revenge, being obsessed with it…and, now…” He blows out a breath, looking lost. “I need time,” he whispers.
He’s leaving. He’s really leaving.
I want to curl up into a ball on the floor and cry.
But I don’t.
I do what I always do. I hold steady. “Where will you go?” I ask quietly.
“Greece. If you still need the job at the estate, I’m hiring someone to run it—”
I shake my head.
I couldn’t go there every day and see that place. See the bed where he once made love to me…
“If you need money,” he says.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I know you will be.”
I lift my eyes to him to see a sad smile touching his lips.
And I don’t look away. I keep staring at him, soaking in every detail of him, knowing it’s the last time I’m ever going to see him.
And he stares right back at me.
My heart is beating painfully. I’m slowly dying on the inside.
I have to get away from him. I need to stop feeling this way.
But I’m not ready to leave him yet.
Deep down, I know I’ll never be ready.
“So…” I hear myself saying, breaking our quiet.
Kas doesn’t speak. He just walks over to me. And, when he reaches me, he takes my face in his hands. His eyes roam my features, like he’s drinking me in.
My mouth is dry. There are hot tears behind my eyes, and my throat feels like it’s about to crack.
“Daisy…” he whispers my name. He slowly brings his mouth to mine, only closing his eyes when our lips meet.
He softly kisses me, tasting me, letting his tongue slide along mine.
Tears fill my eyes as I memorize the feel of him against me, the way he kisses me.
Then, he deepens the kiss, clutching me to him. And I match him stroke for stroke.
“I love you,” he breathes against my lips. “That will never change, no matter where I am.”
I love you, too.
Don’t leave me, please.
The words are on the tip of my tongue.
But I never say them.
I have to let him go. For his sake. For Jesse’s. And for mine.
“Will I ever see you again?” I breathe through the agony.
He tugs me into his arms and hugs me tight. “Thank you,” he whispers, answering my question without actually saying the words. “You brought me back to life, Daisy, and for that, I will never be able to repay you.”
I’m never going to see him again.
My heart splinters in two.
He removes his arms from around me, leaving me cold. He stares down at me and gives me a sad smile. “Good-bye, Daisy Smith.”
I swallow past my tears. “Good-bye, Kastor Matis,” I whisper.
He touches my cheek with his hand one last time, and then he turns and walks out of my apartment and out of my life, taking a piece of my broken heart with him.
Epilogue
Three and a Half Years Later
Seeing the last customer out, bidding them good-bye, I shut the door and turn the sign over to read, Closed. Walking back around the counter, I drop my tired butt down onto a stool.
It’s been a long day.
A hard day.
Jesse’s starting university.
I drove him there this morning, so he could get settled in the dorm.
So, we’d packed my car up with his stuff, and I’d tried not to cry the whole time.
Yep, I have a car. I learned how to drive a few years ago. So much easier having a car, and I’m going to need it with Jesse being in Birmingham.
I was so proud of him when he got accepted. I might have wanted him to stay in London, but he’d loved Birmingham when we visited earlier in the year, and they have a really good law school.
Yep, that’s right. My boy wants to be a lawyer.
When he told me what he wanted to be, I won’t deny that I was surprised. He’d never shown an interest in the law before.
And the law hadn’t exactly been a friend to me over the years.
But whatever he wanted to do, I would be happy with it. I’d support him.
Then, he told me why he wanted to be a lawyer.
He said that the law had failed me in so many ways. My lawyer had failed me. He said there were too many shit lawyers out there, and he wanted to be one of the good ones. He wants to make a difference. Make sure that what happened to me doesn’t happen to anyone else.
I got a little choked up at that.
Okay, I might have cried.
I’m a weepy bitch nowadays.
So, I got my boy settled in his room and helped him unpack his things. Then, I left him to get to know his roommates.
I might have cried a little bit then too.
Okay, I held on to him for ages and sobbed before managing to pry myself away from him.
Once I got in my car, it took me a good fifteen minutes to be able to drive, as my eyes were blurry from all the crying.
