What I Need
Page 29
He freezes. “Jesus, all you do is bitch, you know that?” Richard grips both of her arms, yanks her against him and gets up in her face. “I’m gettin’ the fuck outta here. You wanna stay? Fine. Fucking stay, you stupid cunt.”
Richard throws Riley to the ground. Her body hits the concrete. Hard. I hear her cry out.
My heart drops to my fucking stomach.
I push the last asshole standing in my way so hard he stumbles and then falls over. I run at Riley.
I should be running at Richard. I should be remembering my job, my fucking duty, the fact that he put his hands on her. I should be reacting to that but I only see Riley.
On the ground. Possibly hurt.
I see the tears in her eyes when I get a foot away. I reach out to grab her, to hold her.
Riley. Only Riley.
In a crowd of people or just two, I’m only seeing her.
Richard charges at me when I’m nearly at her side and it’s too late. I’m not expecting it. I’m watching her. All of my attention is on the girl I can’t get out of my head, and because of that, I can’t brace. I can’t react to him.
His shoulder connects with my ribs, fast and with all of his weight behind it, sending a shooting pain up my side and knocking the wind out of me, then we’re both sailing through the air until I hit something hard. It gives, shattering into pieces all around us.
The window at the front of the venue.
My back hits the floor inside The Red Door. Then my head, snapping back as a weight presses down on my chest.
People inside the club scream out.
I groan, eyes closed as I try and move my left leg. A fire spreads through it, burning me from below. I can feel the warmth flowing under my knee and up beneath my thigh. A thousand needles sting my back.
The weight on my chest is removed. Glass breaks around my head, then I hear my name being screamed, over and over.
“Oh, my God! Let me through! Move! Move out of the way!”
Riley.
Something presses on my knee, then a little lower where the fire is.
“Call 911! He needs to get to a hospital!”
I flinch, jerking my body. My shirt moves and fingers tug at my jeans.
“CJ, stay with me, okay?” Riley says through a shaky voice over the noise around us. Her warm hands hold my face and her breath tickles my lips. “Just hold on. I gotta use your belt as a tourniquet. I need to wrap it around your leg so we can stop the bleeding. An ambulance is coming, but you’re bleeding a lot. I need to stop it.”
I make a noise in my throat. I feel like I’m choking.
I want to look at Riley. I want to open my eyes and see those blue flames, let them burn me up instead of this fire I’m feeling now, but I can’t.
I’m tired. My eyes are so fucking heavy. I can’t open them.
Pain explodes in my leg as something tightens around it.
I groan, arching my back off the floor and gritting my teeth. I feel the flames everywhere now.
“Shh. It’s okay,” Riley cries over me. “Just hold on. They’re coming. They’ll be here soon.”
My entire body starts shaking. Sweat breaks out all over as the fire continues to scald my skin. Continues to spread. It’s burning fast now.
“CJ?”
I want to sleep.
Riley’s hands are on my face again. I can taste her breath. Her tears are wetting my lips.
“Please,” she whispers, voice breaking. “Please, hold on.”
Darkness closes around me. The fire burns out.
I no longer feel it.
I no longer feel anything.
CHEWING ON MY cuticle, I pace between the rows of chairs in the waiting room at St. Joseph’s Hospital.
Curious eyes follow my movement. I know why I’m being watched. I have blood all over me.
CJ’s blood.
I can typically handle the sight of it, which is a good thing considering the profession I chose. It’s never bothered me before. I’m not a squeamish girl. I never have been.
But seeing the puddle pooling around CJ, thick and bright red, and the way it was flowing like a river out of his leg . . .
I couldn’t handle it.
I couldn’t handle it because it was someone I knew and cared about. I couldn’t handle it because it was CJ.
He lost consciousness. I watched him slipping away. I tried talking to him and keeping him with me, but the blood . . .
There was too much.
Thank God the paramedics arrived when they did.
I followed behind the ambulance while I made frantic phone calls and sent out texts. And now I’m waiting.
CJ is in surgery and I can’t sit down or stand still. I can’t stop looking up every time a hospital worker pushes through the doors leading to the back. They’re carrying a clipboard and calling a name, but it’s not CJ’s name. It’s never CJ’s name.
What if they’re having complications?
My stomach rolls as the Emergency Room doors slide open again. I glance up and watch Ben, Luke, and Tessa hurry through. This stops my pacing.
“What happened?” Ben asks me. He looks at the front of my shirt. “Jesus Christ. Are you all right?”
“Riley, are you bleeding?” Tessa wraps her hand around my arm. Her skin pales.
“No.” I quickly shake my head. “No, it’s not mine.”
“Fuck,” Luke mutters, pushing his hands through his hair and gripping the back of his head.
They all look concerned and as worried as I feel.
“He’s in surgery,” I inform them. “He cut his leg pretty bad. I don’t know anything yet. I’m waiting.”
“What the fuck happened?” Ben asks again, pulling his arms across his chest. He looks angry now.
With me? Do they all blame me for this?
Maybe they should.
I look between their faces, and then at the floor. “Um, he was pushed through a window . . . by my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.”
For real this time. We’re through. Over.
Officially over.
I made that clear after I watched Richard get arrested. I screamed our ending at the cop car window he sat behind. I made sure he knew we were finished before I followed the ambulance to the hospital. I didn’t want any confusion or mishearing of words.
I sniffle when my nose begins to burn again. “He was trying to get me to leave with him and CJ saw. He knew Richard was on something.”
“What was he on?” Ben asks.
Richard throws Riley to the ground. Her body hits the concrete. Hard. I hear her cry out.
My heart drops to my fucking stomach.
I push the last asshole standing in my way so hard he stumbles and then falls over. I run at Riley.
I should be running at Richard. I should be remembering my job, my fucking duty, the fact that he put his hands on her. I should be reacting to that but I only see Riley.
On the ground. Possibly hurt.
I see the tears in her eyes when I get a foot away. I reach out to grab her, to hold her.
Riley. Only Riley.
In a crowd of people or just two, I’m only seeing her.
Richard charges at me when I’m nearly at her side and it’s too late. I’m not expecting it. I’m watching her. All of my attention is on the girl I can’t get out of my head, and because of that, I can’t brace. I can’t react to him.
His shoulder connects with my ribs, fast and with all of his weight behind it, sending a shooting pain up my side and knocking the wind out of me, then we’re both sailing through the air until I hit something hard. It gives, shattering into pieces all around us.
The window at the front of the venue.
My back hits the floor inside The Red Door. Then my head, snapping back as a weight presses down on my chest.
People inside the club scream out.
I groan, eyes closed as I try and move my left leg. A fire spreads through it, burning me from below. I can feel the warmth flowing under my knee and up beneath my thigh. A thousand needles sting my back.
The weight on my chest is removed. Glass breaks around my head, then I hear my name being screamed, over and over.
“Oh, my God! Let me through! Move! Move out of the way!”
Riley.
Something presses on my knee, then a little lower where the fire is.
“Call 911! He needs to get to a hospital!”
I flinch, jerking my body. My shirt moves and fingers tug at my jeans.
“CJ, stay with me, okay?” Riley says through a shaky voice over the noise around us. Her warm hands hold my face and her breath tickles my lips. “Just hold on. I gotta use your belt as a tourniquet. I need to wrap it around your leg so we can stop the bleeding. An ambulance is coming, but you’re bleeding a lot. I need to stop it.”
I make a noise in my throat. I feel like I’m choking.
I want to look at Riley. I want to open my eyes and see those blue flames, let them burn me up instead of this fire I’m feeling now, but I can’t.
I’m tired. My eyes are so fucking heavy. I can’t open them.
Pain explodes in my leg as something tightens around it.
I groan, arching my back off the floor and gritting my teeth. I feel the flames everywhere now.
“Shh. It’s okay,” Riley cries over me. “Just hold on. They’re coming. They’ll be here soon.”
My entire body starts shaking. Sweat breaks out all over as the fire continues to scald my skin. Continues to spread. It’s burning fast now.
“CJ?”
I want to sleep.
Riley’s hands are on my face again. I can taste her breath. Her tears are wetting my lips.
“Please,” she whispers, voice breaking. “Please, hold on.”
Darkness closes around me. The fire burns out.
I no longer feel it.
I no longer feel anything.
CHEWING ON MY cuticle, I pace between the rows of chairs in the waiting room at St. Joseph’s Hospital.
Curious eyes follow my movement. I know why I’m being watched. I have blood all over me.
CJ’s blood.
I can typically handle the sight of it, which is a good thing considering the profession I chose. It’s never bothered me before. I’m not a squeamish girl. I never have been.
But seeing the puddle pooling around CJ, thick and bright red, and the way it was flowing like a river out of his leg . . .
I couldn’t handle it.
I couldn’t handle it because it was someone I knew and cared about. I couldn’t handle it because it was CJ.
He lost consciousness. I watched him slipping away. I tried talking to him and keeping him with me, but the blood . . .
There was too much.
Thank God the paramedics arrived when they did.
I followed behind the ambulance while I made frantic phone calls and sent out texts. And now I’m waiting.
CJ is in surgery and I can’t sit down or stand still. I can’t stop looking up every time a hospital worker pushes through the doors leading to the back. They’re carrying a clipboard and calling a name, but it’s not CJ’s name. It’s never CJ’s name.
What if they’re having complications?
My stomach rolls as the Emergency Room doors slide open again. I glance up and watch Ben, Luke, and Tessa hurry through. This stops my pacing.
“What happened?” Ben asks me. He looks at the front of my shirt. “Jesus Christ. Are you all right?”
“Riley, are you bleeding?” Tessa wraps her hand around my arm. Her skin pales.
“No.” I quickly shake my head. “No, it’s not mine.”
“Fuck,” Luke mutters, pushing his hands through his hair and gripping the back of his head.
They all look concerned and as worried as I feel.
“He’s in surgery,” I inform them. “He cut his leg pretty bad. I don’t know anything yet. I’m waiting.”
“What the fuck happened?” Ben asks again, pulling his arms across his chest. He looks angry now.
With me? Do they all blame me for this?
Maybe they should.
I look between their faces, and then at the floor. “Um, he was pushed through a window . . . by my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.”
For real this time. We’re through. Over.
Officially over.
I made that clear after I watched Richard get arrested. I screamed our ending at the cop car window he sat behind. I made sure he knew we were finished before I followed the ambulance to the hospital. I didn’t want any confusion or mishearing of words.
I sniffle when my nose begins to burn again. “He was trying to get me to leave with him and CJ saw. He knew Richard was on something.”
“What was he on?” Ben asks.
