White Trash Beautiful
Page 14
“It’s the only place we can get away from all of those people.” He rolled his eyes and grinned.
I shot him a warning glare but began to follow him again. We went all the way to the fourth floor. He opened the lock and held the door open for me.
“Wow, look at this view!” I walked over to the window and stared over the ocean.
Tucker walked up beside me and with his fingers tilted my chin toward him. “Breathtaking.”
My whole body shivered with his words and my knees threatened to give out.
He clenched his jaw as he ran the pad of his thumb over my fresh bruises. “I’m not going to let this go.”
“It’s not your problem.” I shook my head, looking to his shirt. He tilted my chin a little higher so I would meet his gaze.
“I don’t have a choice. From the first moment I saw you, I didn’t have a choice.” He leaned in closer, filling the small gap between us with his delicious tropical scent.
I started to pull back. “But why? Why me?” I envisioned the brunette in the magazine with her body wrapped around him. I wondered how many more women had been in her position.
“You come off so strong and brave, and it’s obvious you’re hurting. Someone is hurting you and no one is there to protect you.”
“Tucker, I don’t need someone to protect me.”
“Yes, you do, Cass. Everyone needs someone to care about them. I know you’re strong. It’s the first thing anyone would notice about you, but I know that if someone doesn’t take the time to show you how great you are, that hard edge will begin to take you over. I’ve been there.
“I became so good at pushing people away that I forgot who I was and let others’ hatred consume me.” He paused, looking into my eyes with such intensity that I suddenly felt exposed, naked. “You still have this light in your eyes. The way you scrunch your nose when you smile, the way your eyes widen at the littlest things. Even your smart-ass comments are you trying to bring humor into something when you’re only feeling pain. I see so much of myself in you. It breaks my heart to picture you lying in bed at night and feeling like you’re all alone.”
“Tucker,” I whispered as his lips brushed against my bruised cheek so softly I thought I had imagined it. My eyes fell closed and I melted against him, drinking him in.
He pulled back, still holding my face, and it took me a moment to open my eyes. His expression was serious. “I won’t let him hurt you again.”
I nodded and he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me against his body. I let my hands slip around his waist, gripping his T-shirt in my fists. It felt good to be cared for even if I didn’t think it would last. I’ve had many empty promises made to me in my life, and I found it hard to convince myself that I could trust this one. But I wanted so badly to believe Tucker, and I began to feel that maybe he was someone I could let myself believe in.
“It’s time,” Dorris called from the other side of the door, knocking on it rapidly.
Tucker pulled back from me slightly and pressed his lips against my forehead, letting them linger. “Let’s go.” He smiled and slipped his hand in mine, pulling me toward the door. I was in a daze. I wasn’t sure if I had been scared of hurting Jax or if I was scared of his hurting me physically when he found out about what I had been doing. I braced myself for the wave of guilt to consume me . . . but this time, it never came.
We made our way down the stairs and out into the evening sun, which was partially blocked by the hotel. I still didn’t know what I was doing here, but I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to be where Tucker was. I would deal with the consequences later.
Chapter Fourteen
THE MUFFLED SOUND of the band off in the distance seemed out of place on the quiet beach. We made our way across the parking lot, where the rest of Damaged joined us to walk up through the crowd of people. Pushing through all the fans was no easy feat.
The wooden pier was old and warped, and panic set in as I worried about the pillars giving way, sending us floating away into the ocean. I pulled back slightly, and Tucker turned and shot me a smile, squeezing my hand. I could faintly hear the sounds of seagulls squawking in the background over the laughter and small talk of the crowd. Someone dumped an entire container of french fries on the path, and birds swooped in for a bite, causing girls in heels and short miniskirts to scream and squeal. They ducked for cover in the arms of their dates, who were more than happy to take advantage of the situation by copping a feel. The entire display made me uncomfortable, and I wrapped one of my arms over my chest, wishing I had not ventured out in public. I was much happier when I wasn’t in a crowd.
As we reached the end of the pier, Dorris put her arm around me and guided me to the front of the crowd, while the band pressed forward to the very end, which was shaped like an oversize gazebo jutting out above the water. The band had a roof overhead, but all of us eager fans had no protection from the hot sun that beat down on us. I could feel the sweat begin to bead on my forehead.
“Thanks for coming out, Tybee! I’m Tucker, and this is Damaged.” He gave a dazzling smile and a wink.
The girls went nuts around me. I couldn’t look away from him. I didn’t glance at the ocean. I was in awe.
He began to sing and the crowd fell silent, swaying to his voice. “ ‘I’m here to wipe your eyes . . .’ ” His eyes locked on mine, and my heart fluttered and kicked into high gear in my chest. “ ‘I won’t let you down.’ ”
My hand went to the tiny silver heart that hung from my neck. He smiled.
“He seems to like you.” Dorris leaned closer so I could hear her. “You better not hurt him.”
I rolled my eyes at her threat but didn’t say anything. I had no intention of hurting Tucker. I was more scared of what he would do with my heart if he knew he had it. As our eyes met, I couldn’t help but feel that this was the only place in the world I wanted to be. I knew in that moment that I had stumbled and tripped through my life before, but now, for the first time, I had finally fallen hard. My heart raced when I looked at Tucker, and somehow I suddenly knew it would be impossible for me to ever look at anyone else the same way.
Damaged flowed seamlessly into another song, this one more upbeat. The crowd began to dance around us. Tucker danced as he sang, and the crowd went wild, emulating his moves. He was enjoying himself and it was amazing to watch. I flushed as I remembered some of those moves from the dances we’d shared at the bar. He was so confident, so commanding. His passion for his music was infectious.
The sun had all but disappeared behind the buildings, shooting slivers of light cascading across the sky as it descended. Small lights set up around the band illuminated the show. Tucker peeled off his shirt, revealing his toned body and those tattoos I’d noticed before. The women in the crowd went wild at the sight of him half-naked, and an unfamiliar feeling boiled inside me. It was jealousy. I didn’t like other women looking at him that way.
I blushed when my eyes danced from his chest to his face and he was smiling. He had caught me staring, and he was completely oblivious to any other women around us. I put my hands to my mouth and yelled with the rest of the crowd.
Damaged performed one more song before their set was over and it was time for the next band. They hung out in the crowd for a good twenty minutes, signing everything from pictures to body parts. I lingered to the side, not wanting to interfere with Tucker’s rock-star moment, even though every ounce of my being wanted to leap on him like an animal and claim him as mine.
When he was finished, Tucker grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd toward the parking lot. As the rest of the band continued on to leave, Tucker pulled me to the side and down a staircase that led directly onto the beach. I glanced at Dorris as she made her way through the food pavilion. She would be pissed when she noticed we were gone, but I didn’t care.
We slipped under the pier and Tucker spun around, planting my back against one of the large wooden pillars. His lips hovered over mine as his hands trailed down my back, pulling my body tight against his. His fingers dug into the skin of my hip.
He groaned, pushing his body harder against me. My hands trailed up his bare, muscular arms and over his shoulders, coming to rest on the back of his neck. I’d never been looked at the way Tucker looked at me; it made my knees weak. My hips involuntarily pushed back, desperate to get closer to him. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but his mouth never touched mine.
Tucker pulled back, our breathing ragged and mingling, as if his air were keeping me alive.
“I was dying to touch you the whole set.” He grinned, sending butterflies fluttering through my stomach. The rapid beating of my heart in my chest drowned out the music on the pier above. He leaned his forehead against mine. “I keep thinking about dancing with you in that bar.”
It was too dark for me to see his face but I could tell from his tone that he was smiling. I let my fingers slide onto his back, my nails trailing down his spine.
“Come for a walk with me.” He took a step back and flung his T-shirt over his shoulder, holding out his hand for me to take.
I wasn’t sure my knees wouldn’t buckle under me, but I pushed myself from the pillar and slipped my hand in his, ready to follow him out of the darkness and into the moonlight. He walked me down to the water.
I slipped off my sandals and carried them so I could let the water lap at my toes. “It’s warm.” I smiled at him as I dug my toes into the wet sand.
“Come on.” He cocked his head to the side and tugged on my hand. I followed happily as we made our way down the dark beach. Others were there, but none recognized him in the dark.
“Where are you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I couldn’t remember the last time a surprise was something good. It made me nervous.
“You’ll like it. I promise.” He squeezed my hand, sending a charge of electricity through every inch of my body. “You see it?” He pointed out into the water. The moon bounced off a giant line of sand out in the sea.
“What is that?” I stood on my toes to try to get a better look.
Tucker let go of my hand for a minute to slip off his shoes and socks. He grabbed my sandals and placed them with his shoes. He dropped his T-shirt on the pile before taking my hand back in his. “A sandbar. Let’s go.” He tugged me toward the water.
I hesitated.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Cass.”
His smile was all the convincing I needed. I happily followed him into the dark water. I felt free as my toes sank into the sand below. I wasn’t scared of the vast unknown when I was with him. He could have pulled me into a volcano and I would happily have followed. It was surprisingly shallow between the beach and the sandbar as I dragged my feet along the bottom to see if I could kick up a few shells.
He pulled me onto the small, secret beach and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. It felt as if we were on our own deserted island.
“This is amazing.”
He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath. “Yes, it is.”
I placed my hands on his as our bodies began to sway to the rhythm of the band off in the distance. Suddenly I wished I knew more about this man who had lifted me out of my shitty routine and made me realize that maybe I deserved something more than my trailer-trash life. “Tucker, tell me more about you, about your life.”
His hands grew tense around my waist, tightening momentarily before he answered. “Not much more to tell. My life now just consists of one gig after another. Not much time for anything else.”
I nodded, but I was far from satisfied. Everything about him was an enigma. I wanted to know about his family, why he got into music, the stories behind his tattoos, how he came to be who he was . . . and why he gave a damn about me. When I’d first met him, I’d thought he would be like all of the others, but he was different from anyone else I had ever met.
“You ever been in a serious relationship?” I asked, holding my breath. I knew his childhood had been tragic, but I couldn’t imagine he didn’t have any happy memories. Even I had a few.
He let out a deep sigh. “Don’t you read the gossip magazines?” he joked, but I knew he was just stalling.
I turned around in his arms to face him. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just wanted to know more about you.”
He smiled and brushed a wayward strand of hair from my face. “I want to tell you everything, Cass.” He took a deep breath. “Her name was Cadence. We started dating in the tenth grade. She was wild.” He laughed quietly to himself. “She had the mouth of a sailor. By that time I was spending every free moment with the guys, practicing. She didn’t care. She sat in my garage for hours just watching us rehearse.”
“What happened?”
Tucker cleared his throat as he focused off at the water. “We started playing gigs anywhere we could. Mostly local bars and clubs. Terry found a guy to make us some horrible-looking fake IDs.” Tucker laughed. “We would sneak out a couple times a week and play until the bars closed, all while trying to make it to school every day. Cadence loved it. She would perch at the end of the bar and be the loudest one screaming. She would have a few shots, no big deal, but eventually she needed something to counteract her late-night drinking. . . .” He didn’t need to say anything more. He placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into his chest.
I rested my head against him and let my arms slide around his waist. “I’m sorry.” I really was. I knew exactly what it was like to have the person you love be completely changed by drug abuse. Here Tucker was surrounded by thousands of fans, but no one really had any idea who he was. No one knew the pain he carried with him.
I shot him a warning glare but began to follow him again. We went all the way to the fourth floor. He opened the lock and held the door open for me.
“Wow, look at this view!” I walked over to the window and stared over the ocean.
Tucker walked up beside me and with his fingers tilted my chin toward him. “Breathtaking.”
My whole body shivered with his words and my knees threatened to give out.
He clenched his jaw as he ran the pad of his thumb over my fresh bruises. “I’m not going to let this go.”
“It’s not your problem.” I shook my head, looking to his shirt. He tilted my chin a little higher so I would meet his gaze.
“I don’t have a choice. From the first moment I saw you, I didn’t have a choice.” He leaned in closer, filling the small gap between us with his delicious tropical scent.
I started to pull back. “But why? Why me?” I envisioned the brunette in the magazine with her body wrapped around him. I wondered how many more women had been in her position.
“You come off so strong and brave, and it’s obvious you’re hurting. Someone is hurting you and no one is there to protect you.”
“Tucker, I don’t need someone to protect me.”
“Yes, you do, Cass. Everyone needs someone to care about them. I know you’re strong. It’s the first thing anyone would notice about you, but I know that if someone doesn’t take the time to show you how great you are, that hard edge will begin to take you over. I’ve been there.
“I became so good at pushing people away that I forgot who I was and let others’ hatred consume me.” He paused, looking into my eyes with such intensity that I suddenly felt exposed, naked. “You still have this light in your eyes. The way you scrunch your nose when you smile, the way your eyes widen at the littlest things. Even your smart-ass comments are you trying to bring humor into something when you’re only feeling pain. I see so much of myself in you. It breaks my heart to picture you lying in bed at night and feeling like you’re all alone.”
“Tucker,” I whispered as his lips brushed against my bruised cheek so softly I thought I had imagined it. My eyes fell closed and I melted against him, drinking him in.
He pulled back, still holding my face, and it took me a moment to open my eyes. His expression was serious. “I won’t let him hurt you again.”
I nodded and he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me against his body. I let my hands slip around his waist, gripping his T-shirt in my fists. It felt good to be cared for even if I didn’t think it would last. I’ve had many empty promises made to me in my life, and I found it hard to convince myself that I could trust this one. But I wanted so badly to believe Tucker, and I began to feel that maybe he was someone I could let myself believe in.
“It’s time,” Dorris called from the other side of the door, knocking on it rapidly.
Tucker pulled back from me slightly and pressed his lips against my forehead, letting them linger. “Let’s go.” He smiled and slipped his hand in mine, pulling me toward the door. I was in a daze. I wasn’t sure if I had been scared of hurting Jax or if I was scared of his hurting me physically when he found out about what I had been doing. I braced myself for the wave of guilt to consume me . . . but this time, it never came.
We made our way down the stairs and out into the evening sun, which was partially blocked by the hotel. I still didn’t know what I was doing here, but I didn’t care anymore. I wanted to be where Tucker was. I would deal with the consequences later.
Chapter Fourteen
THE MUFFLED SOUND of the band off in the distance seemed out of place on the quiet beach. We made our way across the parking lot, where the rest of Damaged joined us to walk up through the crowd of people. Pushing through all the fans was no easy feat.
The wooden pier was old and warped, and panic set in as I worried about the pillars giving way, sending us floating away into the ocean. I pulled back slightly, and Tucker turned and shot me a smile, squeezing my hand. I could faintly hear the sounds of seagulls squawking in the background over the laughter and small talk of the crowd. Someone dumped an entire container of french fries on the path, and birds swooped in for a bite, causing girls in heels and short miniskirts to scream and squeal. They ducked for cover in the arms of their dates, who were more than happy to take advantage of the situation by copping a feel. The entire display made me uncomfortable, and I wrapped one of my arms over my chest, wishing I had not ventured out in public. I was much happier when I wasn’t in a crowd.
As we reached the end of the pier, Dorris put her arm around me and guided me to the front of the crowd, while the band pressed forward to the very end, which was shaped like an oversize gazebo jutting out above the water. The band had a roof overhead, but all of us eager fans had no protection from the hot sun that beat down on us. I could feel the sweat begin to bead on my forehead.
“Thanks for coming out, Tybee! I’m Tucker, and this is Damaged.” He gave a dazzling smile and a wink.
The girls went nuts around me. I couldn’t look away from him. I didn’t glance at the ocean. I was in awe.
He began to sing and the crowd fell silent, swaying to his voice. “ ‘I’m here to wipe your eyes . . .’ ” His eyes locked on mine, and my heart fluttered and kicked into high gear in my chest. “ ‘I won’t let you down.’ ”
My hand went to the tiny silver heart that hung from my neck. He smiled.
“He seems to like you.” Dorris leaned closer so I could hear her. “You better not hurt him.”
I rolled my eyes at her threat but didn’t say anything. I had no intention of hurting Tucker. I was more scared of what he would do with my heart if he knew he had it. As our eyes met, I couldn’t help but feel that this was the only place in the world I wanted to be. I knew in that moment that I had stumbled and tripped through my life before, but now, for the first time, I had finally fallen hard. My heart raced when I looked at Tucker, and somehow I suddenly knew it would be impossible for me to ever look at anyone else the same way.
Damaged flowed seamlessly into another song, this one more upbeat. The crowd began to dance around us. Tucker danced as he sang, and the crowd went wild, emulating his moves. He was enjoying himself and it was amazing to watch. I flushed as I remembered some of those moves from the dances we’d shared at the bar. He was so confident, so commanding. His passion for his music was infectious.
The sun had all but disappeared behind the buildings, shooting slivers of light cascading across the sky as it descended. Small lights set up around the band illuminated the show. Tucker peeled off his shirt, revealing his toned body and those tattoos I’d noticed before. The women in the crowd went wild at the sight of him half-naked, and an unfamiliar feeling boiled inside me. It was jealousy. I didn’t like other women looking at him that way.
I blushed when my eyes danced from his chest to his face and he was smiling. He had caught me staring, and he was completely oblivious to any other women around us. I put my hands to my mouth and yelled with the rest of the crowd.
Damaged performed one more song before their set was over and it was time for the next band. They hung out in the crowd for a good twenty minutes, signing everything from pictures to body parts. I lingered to the side, not wanting to interfere with Tucker’s rock-star moment, even though every ounce of my being wanted to leap on him like an animal and claim him as mine.
When he was finished, Tucker grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd toward the parking lot. As the rest of the band continued on to leave, Tucker pulled me to the side and down a staircase that led directly onto the beach. I glanced at Dorris as she made her way through the food pavilion. She would be pissed when she noticed we were gone, but I didn’t care.
We slipped under the pier and Tucker spun around, planting my back against one of the large wooden pillars. His lips hovered over mine as his hands trailed down my back, pulling my body tight against his. His fingers dug into the skin of my hip.
He groaned, pushing his body harder against me. My hands trailed up his bare, muscular arms and over his shoulders, coming to rest on the back of his neck. I’d never been looked at the way Tucker looked at me; it made my knees weak. My hips involuntarily pushed back, desperate to get closer to him. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but his mouth never touched mine.
Tucker pulled back, our breathing ragged and mingling, as if his air were keeping me alive.
“I was dying to touch you the whole set.” He grinned, sending butterflies fluttering through my stomach. The rapid beating of my heart in my chest drowned out the music on the pier above. He leaned his forehead against mine. “I keep thinking about dancing with you in that bar.”
It was too dark for me to see his face but I could tell from his tone that he was smiling. I let my fingers slide onto his back, my nails trailing down his spine.
“Come for a walk with me.” He took a step back and flung his T-shirt over his shoulder, holding out his hand for me to take.
I wasn’t sure my knees wouldn’t buckle under me, but I pushed myself from the pillar and slipped my hand in his, ready to follow him out of the darkness and into the moonlight. He walked me down to the water.
I slipped off my sandals and carried them so I could let the water lap at my toes. “It’s warm.” I smiled at him as I dug my toes into the wet sand.
“Come on.” He cocked his head to the side and tugged on my hand. I followed happily as we made our way down the dark beach. Others were there, but none recognized him in the dark.
“Where are you taking me?”
“It’s a surprise.”
I couldn’t remember the last time a surprise was something good. It made me nervous.
“You’ll like it. I promise.” He squeezed my hand, sending a charge of electricity through every inch of my body. “You see it?” He pointed out into the water. The moon bounced off a giant line of sand out in the sea.
“What is that?” I stood on my toes to try to get a better look.
Tucker let go of my hand for a minute to slip off his shoes and socks. He grabbed my sandals and placed them with his shoes. He dropped his T-shirt on the pile before taking my hand back in his. “A sandbar. Let’s go.” He tugged me toward the water.
I hesitated.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Cass.”
His smile was all the convincing I needed. I happily followed him into the dark water. I felt free as my toes sank into the sand below. I wasn’t scared of the vast unknown when I was with him. He could have pulled me into a volcano and I would happily have followed. It was surprisingly shallow between the beach and the sandbar as I dragged my feet along the bottom to see if I could kick up a few shells.
He pulled me onto the small, secret beach and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. It felt as if we were on our own deserted island.
“This is amazing.”
He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath. “Yes, it is.”
I placed my hands on his as our bodies began to sway to the rhythm of the band off in the distance. Suddenly I wished I knew more about this man who had lifted me out of my shitty routine and made me realize that maybe I deserved something more than my trailer-trash life. “Tucker, tell me more about you, about your life.”
His hands grew tense around my waist, tightening momentarily before he answered. “Not much more to tell. My life now just consists of one gig after another. Not much time for anything else.”
I nodded, but I was far from satisfied. Everything about him was an enigma. I wanted to know about his family, why he got into music, the stories behind his tattoos, how he came to be who he was . . . and why he gave a damn about me. When I’d first met him, I’d thought he would be like all of the others, but he was different from anyone else I had ever met.
“You ever been in a serious relationship?” I asked, holding my breath. I knew his childhood had been tragic, but I couldn’t imagine he didn’t have any happy memories. Even I had a few.
He let out a deep sigh. “Don’t you read the gossip magazines?” he joked, but I knew he was just stalling.
I turned around in his arms to face him. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just wanted to know more about you.”
He smiled and brushed a wayward strand of hair from my face. “I want to tell you everything, Cass.” He took a deep breath. “Her name was Cadence. We started dating in the tenth grade. She was wild.” He laughed quietly to himself. “She had the mouth of a sailor. By that time I was spending every free moment with the guys, practicing. She didn’t care. She sat in my garage for hours just watching us rehearse.”
“What happened?”
Tucker cleared his throat as he focused off at the water. “We started playing gigs anywhere we could. Mostly local bars and clubs. Terry found a guy to make us some horrible-looking fake IDs.” Tucker laughed. “We would sneak out a couple times a week and play until the bars closed, all while trying to make it to school every day. Cadence loved it. She would perch at the end of the bar and be the loudest one screaming. She would have a few shots, no big deal, but eventually she needed something to counteract her late-night drinking. . . .” He didn’t need to say anything more. He placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me into his chest.
I rested my head against him and let my arms slide around his waist. “I’m sorry.” I really was. I knew exactly what it was like to have the person you love be completely changed by drug abuse. Here Tucker was surrounded by thousands of fans, but no one really had any idea who he was. No one knew the pain he carried with him.
