Why Not Tonight
Page 54
Of all the things his former twin could have said, that was the worst.
“You don’t know,” Ronan started, his teeth clenched. “You have no idea.”
“Fight later, focus now,” Del yelled as the rope tightened.
But Mathias wasn’t giving up. “Boo hoo. Poor you. Taken in by a good woman and loved as a child. How awful. You need a service dog to help you with that incredible emotional wound?”
“Asshole,” Ronan muttered, pulling.
“Say that to my face. Stand up to me. Oh, wait. No. You’re going to walk away. It’s what you always do. Why bother fighting for something when it’s just so easy to give up?”
Rage exploded. Without thinking, Ronan turned to give Mathias exactly what he was asking for. Mathias must have read his mind because his twin also let go of the rope and started for him.
“No!” Nick yelled, but it was too late. One savage tug on the rope later, all five of them were tumbling into the gully.
The mud might not be very deep but it was wet and cold and humiliating. The other team, all women, stood staring at them. Then they burst into laughter.
“I thought they’d be a lot harder to take,” one of the women said as they began to high-five each other.
“We need to work on our communication skills,” Nick muttered as he climbed out of the gully. “All of us.”
Ronan and Mathias stood and glared at each other, and then Ronan stalked off. He didn’t need any of this. Not anymore.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ELLEN AND BARRY’S movie-based wedding also had the same theme for their rehearsal dinner and the party that followed. With Pallas still taking things easy so she would be rested for the wedding on Saturday afternoon, Natalie had offered to help the ever-efficient Renee get things organized for the party Friday night. She was slightly overwhelmed by the number of details that went into the evening, but as she wasn’t in charge, she simply did what she was told.
She’d already started on the large flowers she was making for the “Atsuko project” and was also playing with her burned piece in addition to working, so she should have felt as if she were running flat out all the time. Instead she was grateful to be busy, grateful not to have time to think. In truth, she was mostly consumed by whatever was going on with Ronan.
Something had changed. In the past week, he’d worked from home more than he’d been in the studio. The few times she’d seen him, he’d claimed that he was in the home stretch of his commission and needed to get as much done as he could. He’d said all the right things, but she didn’t believe him.
She knew he and his brothers had fought the previous weekend. While she hadn’t heard all that had been said, she’d been able to read the body language and knew that whatever they’d been arguing about had been the reason they’d lost. She’d watched Ronan drive away, his pain obvious with every breath.
Over the past few days, she’d talked to Mathias and Nick and had pieced together what had happened. As far as she could tell, Ronan was once again dealing with his past and everything he didn’t know about himself.
She wasn’t sure how sympathetic she was willing to be with him. On the one hand, he had been dealt a hard blow. On the other hand, really? Really? Wasn’t it time to either find out what he could or start to deal? Did he plan to spend the rest of his life moping?
She wasn’t sure if thinking that made her a bad girlfriend or not. She also wasn’t sure how much she could understand about his situation and his feelings. She tried to imagine what it would be like if she’d found her mother wasn’t her mother—that she’d lied to her all her life. She would be devastated to think all that love and caring and support had been shielding a lie. So maybe accusing him of moping was a bit harsh.
Natalie finished setting the table and looked around the room. Renee had created a movie-based wonderland with posters and comic-themed objects. There were cityscapes made from cardboard and bats on everything. Banners, and a flock (or colony) of paper bats, compliments of Natalie. There were eye masks for the guests and a small but beautiful bat-themed cake for dessert.
“Looks good,” Silver said from the bar she’d set up in a corner of the room. “I’m really excited about tonight. Tomorrow will be the real thing and more serious, but this is all fun.”
Natalie walked over and looked at the menu written on the chalkboard Silver had set up.
“Went a little crazy, did we?” she asked with a laugh.
Silver grinned. “I might have.”
The drinks were charmingly named with a brief description. Sweet Poison—two kinds of rum. Boy Wonder—tequila and champagne. Joker—infused vodka. Poison Ivy—gin. Gotham Chill—Wild Turkey.
“Have you tasted them all?” Natalie asked, thinking work like that would give her a really bad hangover.
“In very small amounts and not on the same day. I’ve learned to be careful.”
“I’ll bet.”
Silver set out glasses. “You okay?”
“Sure. Why do you ask?”
“I heard some things about last weekend. That Ronan and his brothers got in a fight.”
Natalie wondered who had talked. Most likely Carol or Pallas. They were all close and there weren’t a lot of secrets between them.
“I think things are all right,” she said, hoping she wasn’t lying. “Honestly, I can’t tell. Ronan says he’s busy with work, so I’ve let him be.”
“Do you believe him? About the work?”
“I want to. I hope he is. Otherwise he’s withdrawing and that scares me. What if he runs again?”
“I thought things weren’t serious. I thought you didn’t believe in happily-ever-after. What happened to you being unable to find a good guy?”
“This isn’t about me,” Natalie said quickly. “I’m just worried about Ronan.”
Silver set out several more glasses. “I get that and I think it’s really great you care about him. I would also like to point out that there’s more going on here.”
Natalie didn’t like how the conversation had shifted. Things were so much better when she was talking about someone else.
“Maybe.”
The corner of Silver’s mouth turned up. “As long as you’re not trying to deceive yourself.” The smile faded. “Natalie, whatever Ronan has going on, he has to deal with. I like him, but you’re my friend, so I’m on your team. I can’t help wondering if all this fuss about him is really about distracting yourself from the truth. You’re falling for him in a big way and for whatever reason you can’t or won’t accept that.”
“No.” The word was automatic. “I haven’t. I can’t. He’s wrong for me, so I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Famous last words.” She held up both hands. “I’m not saying you have to do anything. It’s your life. I’m simply suggesting you might want to be honest with yourself. You’re not hurting for Ronan because of his past. You’re hurting for Ronan because you’re in love with him. That’s why you don’t want him to run away. That’s why you think you need to fix this problem—so he’ll want to be with you.”
“What? No. No, I wouldn’t...” She took a couple of steps back. “That’s silly. I’m not in love with him.”
“You don’t know,” Ronan started, his teeth clenched. “You have no idea.”
“Fight later, focus now,” Del yelled as the rope tightened.
But Mathias wasn’t giving up. “Boo hoo. Poor you. Taken in by a good woman and loved as a child. How awful. You need a service dog to help you with that incredible emotional wound?”
“Asshole,” Ronan muttered, pulling.
“Say that to my face. Stand up to me. Oh, wait. No. You’re going to walk away. It’s what you always do. Why bother fighting for something when it’s just so easy to give up?”
Rage exploded. Without thinking, Ronan turned to give Mathias exactly what he was asking for. Mathias must have read his mind because his twin also let go of the rope and started for him.
“No!” Nick yelled, but it was too late. One savage tug on the rope later, all five of them were tumbling into the gully.
The mud might not be very deep but it was wet and cold and humiliating. The other team, all women, stood staring at them. Then they burst into laughter.
“I thought they’d be a lot harder to take,” one of the women said as they began to high-five each other.
“We need to work on our communication skills,” Nick muttered as he climbed out of the gully. “All of us.”
Ronan and Mathias stood and glared at each other, and then Ronan stalked off. He didn’t need any of this. Not anymore.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
ELLEN AND BARRY’S movie-based wedding also had the same theme for their rehearsal dinner and the party that followed. With Pallas still taking things easy so she would be rested for the wedding on Saturday afternoon, Natalie had offered to help the ever-efficient Renee get things organized for the party Friday night. She was slightly overwhelmed by the number of details that went into the evening, but as she wasn’t in charge, she simply did what she was told.
She’d already started on the large flowers she was making for the “Atsuko project” and was also playing with her burned piece in addition to working, so she should have felt as if she were running flat out all the time. Instead she was grateful to be busy, grateful not to have time to think. In truth, she was mostly consumed by whatever was going on with Ronan.
Something had changed. In the past week, he’d worked from home more than he’d been in the studio. The few times she’d seen him, he’d claimed that he was in the home stretch of his commission and needed to get as much done as he could. He’d said all the right things, but she didn’t believe him.
She knew he and his brothers had fought the previous weekend. While she hadn’t heard all that had been said, she’d been able to read the body language and knew that whatever they’d been arguing about had been the reason they’d lost. She’d watched Ronan drive away, his pain obvious with every breath.
Over the past few days, she’d talked to Mathias and Nick and had pieced together what had happened. As far as she could tell, Ronan was once again dealing with his past and everything he didn’t know about himself.
She wasn’t sure how sympathetic she was willing to be with him. On the one hand, he had been dealt a hard blow. On the other hand, really? Really? Wasn’t it time to either find out what he could or start to deal? Did he plan to spend the rest of his life moping?
She wasn’t sure if thinking that made her a bad girlfriend or not. She also wasn’t sure how much she could understand about his situation and his feelings. She tried to imagine what it would be like if she’d found her mother wasn’t her mother—that she’d lied to her all her life. She would be devastated to think all that love and caring and support had been shielding a lie. So maybe accusing him of moping was a bit harsh.
Natalie finished setting the table and looked around the room. Renee had created a movie-based wonderland with posters and comic-themed objects. There were cityscapes made from cardboard and bats on everything. Banners, and a flock (or colony) of paper bats, compliments of Natalie. There were eye masks for the guests and a small but beautiful bat-themed cake for dessert.
“Looks good,” Silver said from the bar she’d set up in a corner of the room. “I’m really excited about tonight. Tomorrow will be the real thing and more serious, but this is all fun.”
Natalie walked over and looked at the menu written on the chalkboard Silver had set up.
“Went a little crazy, did we?” she asked with a laugh.
Silver grinned. “I might have.”
The drinks were charmingly named with a brief description. Sweet Poison—two kinds of rum. Boy Wonder—tequila and champagne. Joker—infused vodka. Poison Ivy—gin. Gotham Chill—Wild Turkey.
“Have you tasted them all?” Natalie asked, thinking work like that would give her a really bad hangover.
“In very small amounts and not on the same day. I’ve learned to be careful.”
“I’ll bet.”
Silver set out glasses. “You okay?”
“Sure. Why do you ask?”
“I heard some things about last weekend. That Ronan and his brothers got in a fight.”
Natalie wondered who had talked. Most likely Carol or Pallas. They were all close and there weren’t a lot of secrets between them.
“I think things are all right,” she said, hoping she wasn’t lying. “Honestly, I can’t tell. Ronan says he’s busy with work, so I’ve let him be.”
“Do you believe him? About the work?”
“I want to. I hope he is. Otherwise he’s withdrawing and that scares me. What if he runs again?”
“I thought things weren’t serious. I thought you didn’t believe in happily-ever-after. What happened to you being unable to find a good guy?”
“This isn’t about me,” Natalie said quickly. “I’m just worried about Ronan.”
Silver set out several more glasses. “I get that and I think it’s really great you care about him. I would also like to point out that there’s more going on here.”
Natalie didn’t like how the conversation had shifted. Things were so much better when she was talking about someone else.
“Maybe.”
The corner of Silver’s mouth turned up. “As long as you’re not trying to deceive yourself.” The smile faded. “Natalie, whatever Ronan has going on, he has to deal with. I like him, but you’re my friend, so I’m on your team. I can’t help wondering if all this fuss about him is really about distracting yourself from the truth. You’re falling for him in a big way and for whatever reason you can’t or won’t accept that.”
“No.” The word was automatic. “I haven’t. I can’t. He’s wrong for me, so I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Famous last words.” She held up both hands. “I’m not saying you have to do anything. It’s your life. I’m simply suggesting you might want to be honest with yourself. You’re not hurting for Ronan because of his past. You’re hurting for Ronan because you’re in love with him. That’s why you don’t want him to run away. That’s why you think you need to fix this problem—so he’ll want to be with you.”
“What? No. No, I wouldn’t...” She took a couple of steps back. “That’s silly. I’m not in love with him.”
