Why Not Tonight
Page 64
He pulled into the long driveway. Their house was on the outskirts of town to give Ceallach quiet and space to work. As a kid, Ronan had loved the freedom of the forest only a few yards from the edge of the backyard. Now he saw that the house was isolated and wondered if Elaine ever missed being closer to town.
He parked by the garage and turned off the engine of the truck.
“I have no idea what to say,” he admitted.
“It’ll come to you. I’m going to wait out here. You two need some time to clear the air.” She pointed at her bag. “I’ve brought a book—I’ll be fine. You can come get me when everything is settled.”
He wanted to tell her that he needed her with him, but knew she was right. As always. Later, when this was behind them, he had a lot of things he wanted to talk to her about. But not until then.
“I won’t be long,” he told her, before kissing her, then stepping out of the truck.
He faced the house. The front door opened. Sophie, Elaine’s beagle, ran out onto the porch, barked when she saw him, then raced toward him, her tail wagging happily. He crouched down and greeted her before starting for the house.
Elaine stood on the porch. She looked as she always had—maybe a little older with more gray in her dark hair, but otherwise the woman he remembered always being there for him. She smiled when she saw him. There was no anger, no recriminations or judgments, he thought as he approached. But then, with her, there never had been.
A thousand thoughts raced through his mind. As he’d told Natalie, he didn’t know what to say, how to explain all that had happened. Not just with Pippa, but the rest of it. How he’d felt and the anger and fear and worry. She might not understand, but he sensed she would want to talk about it and heal what she could. He also wanted to thank her for being there for him, for loving him, for making him believe he could do anything. So how on earth was he supposed to say all that when he didn’t know how to begin?
They faced each other. Her smile widened as tears filled her eyes.
“You made it.”
“I did.” He opened his mouth, closed it. Finally he reached for her as he figured out exactly what he wanted to say. “I’ve missed you, Mom.”
“Oh, Ronan. I’ve always been right here, waiting for you. I thought you knew that.”
“I do now.”
* * *
NATALIE WAS ALL cried out. Happy tears were still exhausting, she thought contentedly as she hugged Elaine one last time before they left.
Order had been restored. Natalie knew there would still be bumps in the road, but Ronan and his mother had talked—probably for the first time ever—about the past and what it meant to both of them. She’d apologized for not telling him about Pippa and he’d been sorry for simply walking away. They had a lifetime of love to fall back on, she thought happily. That would cushion any fall.
“You’ll stay in touch?” Elaine asked anxiously as she walked them to the door.
“I promise,” Ronan told her. “I’ll call. I’ll text. You’ll be sick of me.”
“Not likely.”
Elaine turned to Natalie. “Thank you for coming with him. He needed the support.”
“I was happy to be here.”
They petted Sophie, then walked out to the truck. Ronan held open Natalie’s door before glancing back at the house.
“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.
“That I’ve been an idiot. I thought I didn’t need this, didn’t need her. I thought I wasn’t a part of anything.” He turned to her. “Thank you for telling me I was stupid to turn my back on all I had.”
“You’re welcome.” She got in her seat.
He watched as his mother went back in the house. “I stopped seeing who she was and all she did for me. I forgot what was important and only focused on a single lie. I should have remembered everything else, only I didn’t.” He looked back at her. “I remember now.”
“Good. You’re not mad at Nick, are you? For getting in touch with her?”
“No. He did the right thing.” He touched her arm. “I’m sorry you got caught up in all this. I hurt you and I never wanted that to happen.”
“I’m tougher than I look.”
“You are.”
His gaze settled on her face. She tried to read what he was thinking. There was still so much they hadn’t talked about, hadn’t cleared up. She wasn’t sure what to say, so thought maybe he should be the one to initiate the conversation. Which sounded smart and mature but was so not her style.
“San Francisco?” he asked.
“I can’t wait.”
The drive into the city was relatively quick as they caught one of those rare traffic lulls. Before she’d really had a chance to decide what she was going to say, or not say, or if she was going to insist on her own room, they’d pulled up in front of the Ritz-Carlton. She took in the beautiful entrance and knew that once again Ronan was going to dazzle her. The man was good at that.
The check-in process was quick. In a matter of minutes they were in an elevator, then on their floor. Ronan opened the door to their room and let her step into what turned out to be a beautiful suite.
It was close to sunset and the first thing she saw was the view of the city with the bay beyond. There were a couple of sofas and a doorway leading to what she assumed was the bedroom, but none of that mattered. Not when she saw the bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket and rose petals scattered on the floor.
She looked back at Ronan, who crossed to her. He led her to the larger sofa and drew her down next to him.
“When you told me you loved me, I couldn’t handle it,” he said, staring into her eyes. “You overwhelmed me.”
In a good way or a bad? But before she could ask, he was speaking again.
“You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Your spirit, your optimism, your beauty. You have the most giving heart. You’re smart and stubborn, and I am grateful every day that I’ve had the chance to get to know you.”
He touched her cheek and smiled. “I, on the other hand, am a moody bastard who dislikes everyone and rarely sees good in the world.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s a little true, but I’m changing. I’m becoming a better person.” His expression turned serious. “I was so afraid of who I was. No, that’s wrong. I was terrified of turning into my father. The idea obsessed me, even as I told myself focusing on what I didn’t want was sure to make it happen. I needed a better role model. Running from something wasn’t going to be enough. Then you tumbled into my life.”
“I didn’t tumble,” she whispered, hoping, barely breathing and loving everything he was saying.
“You crashed your car into a tree.”
“It was raining and not my fault. If you’d bothered to take your cell phone home, none of this would have happened.”
“I know. I think about that. How if I’d just remembered, everything would be different and what a tragedy that would be.” He cupped her face and kissed her. “You’re my miracle, Natalie. You are the best person I know and I’m grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me. I have no idea why you’d bother to love someone like me but I’m going to accept the gift and hope you never change your mind.”
He slid to the floor. She was confused for a second, then realized he was on one knee.
He parked by the garage and turned off the engine of the truck.
“I have no idea what to say,” he admitted.
“It’ll come to you. I’m going to wait out here. You two need some time to clear the air.” She pointed at her bag. “I’ve brought a book—I’ll be fine. You can come get me when everything is settled.”
He wanted to tell her that he needed her with him, but knew she was right. As always. Later, when this was behind them, he had a lot of things he wanted to talk to her about. But not until then.
“I won’t be long,” he told her, before kissing her, then stepping out of the truck.
He faced the house. The front door opened. Sophie, Elaine’s beagle, ran out onto the porch, barked when she saw him, then raced toward him, her tail wagging happily. He crouched down and greeted her before starting for the house.
Elaine stood on the porch. She looked as she always had—maybe a little older with more gray in her dark hair, but otherwise the woman he remembered always being there for him. She smiled when she saw him. There was no anger, no recriminations or judgments, he thought as he approached. But then, with her, there never had been.
A thousand thoughts raced through his mind. As he’d told Natalie, he didn’t know what to say, how to explain all that had happened. Not just with Pippa, but the rest of it. How he’d felt and the anger and fear and worry. She might not understand, but he sensed she would want to talk about it and heal what she could. He also wanted to thank her for being there for him, for loving him, for making him believe he could do anything. So how on earth was he supposed to say all that when he didn’t know how to begin?
They faced each other. Her smile widened as tears filled her eyes.
“You made it.”
“I did.” He opened his mouth, closed it. Finally he reached for her as he figured out exactly what he wanted to say. “I’ve missed you, Mom.”
“Oh, Ronan. I’ve always been right here, waiting for you. I thought you knew that.”
“I do now.”
* * *
NATALIE WAS ALL cried out. Happy tears were still exhausting, she thought contentedly as she hugged Elaine one last time before they left.
Order had been restored. Natalie knew there would still be bumps in the road, but Ronan and his mother had talked—probably for the first time ever—about the past and what it meant to both of them. She’d apologized for not telling him about Pippa and he’d been sorry for simply walking away. They had a lifetime of love to fall back on, she thought happily. That would cushion any fall.
“You’ll stay in touch?” Elaine asked anxiously as she walked them to the door.
“I promise,” Ronan told her. “I’ll call. I’ll text. You’ll be sick of me.”
“Not likely.”
Elaine turned to Natalie. “Thank you for coming with him. He needed the support.”
“I was happy to be here.”
They petted Sophie, then walked out to the truck. Ronan held open Natalie’s door before glancing back at the house.
“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.
“That I’ve been an idiot. I thought I didn’t need this, didn’t need her. I thought I wasn’t a part of anything.” He turned to her. “Thank you for telling me I was stupid to turn my back on all I had.”
“You’re welcome.” She got in her seat.
He watched as his mother went back in the house. “I stopped seeing who she was and all she did for me. I forgot what was important and only focused on a single lie. I should have remembered everything else, only I didn’t.” He looked back at her. “I remember now.”
“Good. You’re not mad at Nick, are you? For getting in touch with her?”
“No. He did the right thing.” He touched her arm. “I’m sorry you got caught up in all this. I hurt you and I never wanted that to happen.”
“I’m tougher than I look.”
“You are.”
His gaze settled on her face. She tried to read what he was thinking. There was still so much they hadn’t talked about, hadn’t cleared up. She wasn’t sure what to say, so thought maybe he should be the one to initiate the conversation. Which sounded smart and mature but was so not her style.
“San Francisco?” he asked.
“I can’t wait.”
The drive into the city was relatively quick as they caught one of those rare traffic lulls. Before she’d really had a chance to decide what she was going to say, or not say, or if she was going to insist on her own room, they’d pulled up in front of the Ritz-Carlton. She took in the beautiful entrance and knew that once again Ronan was going to dazzle her. The man was good at that.
The check-in process was quick. In a matter of minutes they were in an elevator, then on their floor. Ronan opened the door to their room and let her step into what turned out to be a beautiful suite.
It was close to sunset and the first thing she saw was the view of the city with the bay beyond. There were a couple of sofas and a doorway leading to what she assumed was the bedroom, but none of that mattered. Not when she saw the bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket and rose petals scattered on the floor.
She looked back at Ronan, who crossed to her. He led her to the larger sofa and drew her down next to him.
“When you told me you loved me, I couldn’t handle it,” he said, staring into her eyes. “You overwhelmed me.”
In a good way or a bad? But before she could ask, he was speaking again.
“You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Your spirit, your optimism, your beauty. You have the most giving heart. You’re smart and stubborn, and I am grateful every day that I’ve had the chance to get to know you.”
He touched her cheek and smiled. “I, on the other hand, am a moody bastard who dislikes everyone and rarely sees good in the world.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s a little true, but I’m changing. I’m becoming a better person.” His expression turned serious. “I was so afraid of who I was. No, that’s wrong. I was terrified of turning into my father. The idea obsessed me, even as I told myself focusing on what I didn’t want was sure to make it happen. I needed a better role model. Running from something wasn’t going to be enough. Then you tumbled into my life.”
“I didn’t tumble,” she whispered, hoping, barely breathing and loving everything he was saying.
“You crashed your car into a tree.”
“It was raining and not my fault. If you’d bothered to take your cell phone home, none of this would have happened.”
“I know. I think about that. How if I’d just remembered, everything would be different and what a tragedy that would be.” He cupped her face and kissed her. “You’re my miracle, Natalie. You are the best person I know and I’m grateful to you for everything you’ve done for me. I have no idea why you’d bother to love someone like me but I’m going to accept the gift and hope you never change your mind.”
He slid to the floor. She was confused for a second, then realized he was on one knee.
