With All My Soul
Page 108
What happened to you, Kaylee?
Listen to me. I spoke through clenched teeth, desperate to stop the tears standing at the ready. Forget about that. I plan to.
Kaylee...
No. I shook my head. I dont have to think about that. Not ever again. And neither do you. Everythings okay now, Tod. Everything is amazing now. Perfect. I smiled. I couldnt stop smiling. Were together. I kissed him again, and when his tears fell, mine followed, but these tears didnt hurt. And this time, forever is real.
I love you so much.
I love you, too. More than anything. I stood and pulled him up with me, swiping tears from my cheek with my free hand. Now lets go bring me back to life. Again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Bringing me back to life turned out to be a two-step process. The first part involved a very private reunion with the reaper who deserved more gratitude than I even knew how to express for loving me. For waiting for me. For safeguarding my soul from a distance. And for braving the Netherworld one last time to finally bring me home.
Tod still had his room at reaper headquarters. He still had the same bed. The same chair. The same minifridge used as a nightstand. His dirty clothes still littered the floor. His tub was still too short for a proper bath, and he still only owned two towels and five washcloths.
He still had my spare toothbrush.
He still touched me like I was the most precious thing in existence.
I still loved every single second of it.
Based on my first two hours back in the human world, it was tempting to assume very little had changed. I knew that wasnt true, but for those two hours, I let myself pretend.
When wed finally done enough touching and holding and kissing to be sure I wasnt going to simply melt from reality, like a mirage, we sat cross-legged on his bed, facing each other, eating ice cream with plastic spoons from paper bowls.
How did you do it? Tod dumped more caramel syrup on the mound of home-style vanilla in my bowl, then topped it with a scoopful of candied walnuts. I mean, I know that since your soul wasnt yours in the first placevery clever, by the waythe deal you struck with him was nullified. But doesnt that nullify his promise to leave us all alone forever?
I took a bite of my victory sundaewhich had been preceded by my Welcome Back from the Netherworld pizzaand let the sugar melt in my mouth. If Id ever tasted anything so sweet before, I couldnt remember it.
But the sugar soured on my tongue with the memory his question triggered.
Its a word game, little fury. You are building a cage made of promises, and Avari must believe that the bars he sees between you are locking you in. Then, later, hewill turn and realize hes the one in the cage, and that you stand on the outside, watching him, a free woman.
Ira taught me how to negotiate. But not until after he and I had struck our own deal. The key was phrasing my demands as two separate agreements. The first bargain said that he would let my dad go in exchange for my immortal soul. Since my soul was never mine to give him, that deal is now null and void, and if he still had my dad, Avari wouldnt have to give him up. But he doesnt have my dad. And since the other bargain we struck is still in effect, he never will have my dad.
Tod leaned over to set the syrup bottle on top of the minifridge, and the mattress creaked beneath his weight. What was the second part?
Water dripped from my shower-wet hair and soaked into the T-shirt hed lent me. I swallowed another bite and licked a smear of caramel from my lower lip. That one was intentionally simple. Deceptively so. It just said that once he took possession of my soul, he could have no further contact with you guys. Ever again. He did take possession of my soul, and since there were no contingencies named in case he ever lost possession of it, that deal still stands.
Tod stared at me, a ghost of a smile haunting the corners of his mouth. You may be the smartest woman Ive ever met.
I laughed and plucked a walnut from a peak of ice cream. The devil is in the details.
Have I ever told you how sexy your brain is?
Finally! A man who wants me for my brain.
I want you for all of you. Each individual part and the sum of them all. I want you for everything you are and everything you will ever be. I will never have enough of you, because theres no such thing. He stared right into my eyes, and I couldnt have looked away if Id wanted to. I was trapped, and never in my life had I been so happy to be caught. I will never let you go again.
* * *
What did you tell them? I scooped ice into the last of the plastic cups and nearly tripped over Styx for the fourth time in the past quarter hour. Shed been following me everywhere since the moment wed blinked into my house, and I loved her for it.
I also loved her for the fact that, like Tod, she hadnt changed at all in the four years Id been gone. That couldnt be said for anyone else, based on the pictures Id found in Emmas roommy former room. The twin beds had been replaced with a full, and my things were packed into boxes stacked at the back of her closet.
They hadnt gotten rid of me. Theyd just packed me up. Seeing those boxes reminded me of the day Id helped Emma pack up her former life and move into her new one. Wed changed places, sort of. That felt weird.
Listen to me. I spoke through clenched teeth, desperate to stop the tears standing at the ready. Forget about that. I plan to.
Kaylee...
No. I shook my head. I dont have to think about that. Not ever again. And neither do you. Everythings okay now, Tod. Everything is amazing now. Perfect. I smiled. I couldnt stop smiling. Were together. I kissed him again, and when his tears fell, mine followed, but these tears didnt hurt. And this time, forever is real.
I love you so much.
I love you, too. More than anything. I stood and pulled him up with me, swiping tears from my cheek with my free hand. Now lets go bring me back to life. Again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Bringing me back to life turned out to be a two-step process. The first part involved a very private reunion with the reaper who deserved more gratitude than I even knew how to express for loving me. For waiting for me. For safeguarding my soul from a distance. And for braving the Netherworld one last time to finally bring me home.
Tod still had his room at reaper headquarters. He still had the same bed. The same chair. The same minifridge used as a nightstand. His dirty clothes still littered the floor. His tub was still too short for a proper bath, and he still only owned two towels and five washcloths.
He still had my spare toothbrush.
He still touched me like I was the most precious thing in existence.
I still loved every single second of it.
Based on my first two hours back in the human world, it was tempting to assume very little had changed. I knew that wasnt true, but for those two hours, I let myself pretend.
When wed finally done enough touching and holding and kissing to be sure I wasnt going to simply melt from reality, like a mirage, we sat cross-legged on his bed, facing each other, eating ice cream with plastic spoons from paper bowls.
How did you do it? Tod dumped more caramel syrup on the mound of home-style vanilla in my bowl, then topped it with a scoopful of candied walnuts. I mean, I know that since your soul wasnt yours in the first placevery clever, by the waythe deal you struck with him was nullified. But doesnt that nullify his promise to leave us all alone forever?
I took a bite of my victory sundaewhich had been preceded by my Welcome Back from the Netherworld pizzaand let the sugar melt in my mouth. If Id ever tasted anything so sweet before, I couldnt remember it.
But the sugar soured on my tongue with the memory his question triggered.
Its a word game, little fury. You are building a cage made of promises, and Avari must believe that the bars he sees between you are locking you in. Then, later, hewill turn and realize hes the one in the cage, and that you stand on the outside, watching him, a free woman.
Ira taught me how to negotiate. But not until after he and I had struck our own deal. The key was phrasing my demands as two separate agreements. The first bargain said that he would let my dad go in exchange for my immortal soul. Since my soul was never mine to give him, that deal is now null and void, and if he still had my dad, Avari wouldnt have to give him up. But he doesnt have my dad. And since the other bargain we struck is still in effect, he never will have my dad.
Tod leaned over to set the syrup bottle on top of the minifridge, and the mattress creaked beneath his weight. What was the second part?
Water dripped from my shower-wet hair and soaked into the T-shirt hed lent me. I swallowed another bite and licked a smear of caramel from my lower lip. That one was intentionally simple. Deceptively so. It just said that once he took possession of my soul, he could have no further contact with you guys. Ever again. He did take possession of my soul, and since there were no contingencies named in case he ever lost possession of it, that deal still stands.
Tod stared at me, a ghost of a smile haunting the corners of his mouth. You may be the smartest woman Ive ever met.
I laughed and plucked a walnut from a peak of ice cream. The devil is in the details.
Have I ever told you how sexy your brain is?
Finally! A man who wants me for my brain.
I want you for all of you. Each individual part and the sum of them all. I want you for everything you are and everything you will ever be. I will never have enough of you, because theres no such thing. He stared right into my eyes, and I couldnt have looked away if Id wanted to. I was trapped, and never in my life had I been so happy to be caught. I will never let you go again.
* * *
What did you tell them? I scooped ice into the last of the plastic cups and nearly tripped over Styx for the fourth time in the past quarter hour. Shed been following me everywhere since the moment wed blinked into my house, and I loved her for it.
I also loved her for the fact that, like Tod, she hadnt changed at all in the four years Id been gone. That couldnt be said for anyone else, based on the pictures Id found in Emmas roommy former room. The twin beds had been replaced with a full, and my things were packed into boxes stacked at the back of her closet.
They hadnt gotten rid of me. Theyd just packed me up. Seeing those boxes reminded me of the day Id helped Emma pack up her former life and move into her new one. Wed changed places, sort of. That felt weird.
