With All My Soul
Page 12
Crap. What the hell was I saying? Addison had never been anything but kind to me. Shed put herself between me and Avari so I could escape the Netherworld, and shed suffered horribly for it. Of course I was sorry she was gone. But...
Her memory. Sabine was right. You can never really compete with the memory of a tragically deceased lover.
You dont need to compete. He lifted my chin so that I had to look into his eyes. I love you, Kaylee. I love you like I have never loved anyone else. Like I will never love anyone else.
I knew that, but... After her? I didnt want to know, but suddenly I had to ask. After Addy? How many? Were they pretty? Were they...good?
His eyes flashed in panic. Okay, you see that this is the envy talking, right, Kay?
I know. But I didnt care. How many, Tod? When you touch me, how many other girls are you remembering?
None. Look at me.
I looked at him, but I could hardly see him through tears. When had that happened?
When I touch you, Im not thinking about anyone but you. When I look at you, I cant remember what any of the others looked like. When I hear your voice, I cant even remember their names.
Really? My tears fell, and he wiped them away with his bare hands.
Really. Compared to you, theyre all nameless. Like...Thing One and Thing Two. And Thing Three. And...okay, thats not helping. His gaze searched mine, and his forehead furrowed. This sucks. How can I help?
I dont... But I did know. I think I need you to kiss me.
His features relaxed, and his grin came back slowly, like he expected me to change my mind. When I didnt, he pulled me into his lap, and I tucked my legs around him. My pleasure.
He kissed me, and my hands slid behind his neck. I wanted to devour him. I really did. And the beauty of being dead and in love is that you dont have to come up for air.
I dont know how long we sat there kissing, tangled up in each other and nearly desperate for more, but I know we didnt stop until Emma came in to get ready for bed. And I only know when that happened because she pretended to gag in the doorway.
I cant even see you, but I know what youre doing.
No, you dont, Tod said to her, his lips still pressed against mine. Were still dressed.
I laughed and concentrated on being visible on the human plane.
Em sank onto the edge of her bed, and I climbed off Tods lap. Better? he said, and I nodded, my face flaming.
Sorry. That was intense.
That? Em waved one hand at the two of us, grinning. Or thetest dose?
Both, Tod and I said in unison. He was only partly kidding when he continued, Tell Sabine to give Sophie a half dose.
Chapter Four
So? Do we have any classes together? Let me see.... I pulled Emmas new schedule from her hands as the office door swung shut behind us. Crap. I scanned the schedule again, hoping Id misread. There are only a couple hundred juniors in this school. How can we only have one class together?
French. With Mrs. Brown. The only class Emily Cavanaugh and I shared was Ems least favorite.
She leaned in to whisper, staring out at a sea of faces shed known most of her life, none of whom recognized her. If we were going to make up my age anyway, why the hell didnt we go with eighteen instead of seventeen? Or twenty-one. That would have been nice.
You have to finish high school, Em.
Why? Whats the point?
Im sure there were several dozen good answers to her question, but I couldnt think of any of them in that moment; I didnt want to be there, either. So I gave her a little taste of the motivation I was clinging to. Justice. This is where Avari and the other hellions hang out, remember? Invidia could be exactly where were standing right now, on the other side of the world barrier. She could be sniffing us out as we speak. How are you going to draw her into a trap if youre not here?
Valid point. But frustratingly ironic. They hang out here to be close to us. To feed from our emotions. And now that I dont have to be here if I dont want to, Im stuck here anyway, to stay close to them.
Welcome to my afterlife. Wheres your first class?
Emma studied her new schedule as we ambled aimlessly down the hall, and I tried to ignore the stares focused on usno, focused on me. I didnt figure out what the whispers were all about until some idiot underestimated his volume.
I cant believe she came to school today. Her best friends been in the ground less than twenty-four hours, and she doesnt even look upset.
Oh. Theyd expected me to still be mourning Emma, which had never occurred to me because Emma was standing right next to me. It had been much easier to pretend to grieve during the week and a half before shed come back to school, when we were still waiting for the police to release her body so we could bury her. Without her next to me, Id had no trouble remembering that she was supposed to be dead.
Two-oh-four. Em looked up from her schedule and frowned. Im headed upstairs. See you at lunch?
Yeah. At least that much hadnt changed.
Her memory. Sabine was right. You can never really compete with the memory of a tragically deceased lover.
You dont need to compete. He lifted my chin so that I had to look into his eyes. I love you, Kaylee. I love you like I have never loved anyone else. Like I will never love anyone else.
I knew that, but... After her? I didnt want to know, but suddenly I had to ask. After Addy? How many? Were they pretty? Were they...good?
His eyes flashed in panic. Okay, you see that this is the envy talking, right, Kay?
I know. But I didnt care. How many, Tod? When you touch me, how many other girls are you remembering?
None. Look at me.
I looked at him, but I could hardly see him through tears. When had that happened?
When I touch you, Im not thinking about anyone but you. When I look at you, I cant remember what any of the others looked like. When I hear your voice, I cant even remember their names.
Really? My tears fell, and he wiped them away with his bare hands.
Really. Compared to you, theyre all nameless. Like...Thing One and Thing Two. And Thing Three. And...okay, thats not helping. His gaze searched mine, and his forehead furrowed. This sucks. How can I help?
I dont... But I did know. I think I need you to kiss me.
His features relaxed, and his grin came back slowly, like he expected me to change my mind. When I didnt, he pulled me into his lap, and I tucked my legs around him. My pleasure.
He kissed me, and my hands slid behind his neck. I wanted to devour him. I really did. And the beauty of being dead and in love is that you dont have to come up for air.
I dont know how long we sat there kissing, tangled up in each other and nearly desperate for more, but I know we didnt stop until Emma came in to get ready for bed. And I only know when that happened because she pretended to gag in the doorway.
I cant even see you, but I know what youre doing.
No, you dont, Tod said to her, his lips still pressed against mine. Were still dressed.
I laughed and concentrated on being visible on the human plane.
Em sank onto the edge of her bed, and I climbed off Tods lap. Better? he said, and I nodded, my face flaming.
Sorry. That was intense.
That? Em waved one hand at the two of us, grinning. Or thetest dose?
Both, Tod and I said in unison. He was only partly kidding when he continued, Tell Sabine to give Sophie a half dose.
Chapter Four
So? Do we have any classes together? Let me see.... I pulled Emmas new schedule from her hands as the office door swung shut behind us. Crap. I scanned the schedule again, hoping Id misread. There are only a couple hundred juniors in this school. How can we only have one class together?
French. With Mrs. Brown. The only class Emily Cavanaugh and I shared was Ems least favorite.
She leaned in to whisper, staring out at a sea of faces shed known most of her life, none of whom recognized her. If we were going to make up my age anyway, why the hell didnt we go with eighteen instead of seventeen? Or twenty-one. That would have been nice.
You have to finish high school, Em.
Why? Whats the point?
Im sure there were several dozen good answers to her question, but I couldnt think of any of them in that moment; I didnt want to be there, either. So I gave her a little taste of the motivation I was clinging to. Justice. This is where Avari and the other hellions hang out, remember? Invidia could be exactly where were standing right now, on the other side of the world barrier. She could be sniffing us out as we speak. How are you going to draw her into a trap if youre not here?
Valid point. But frustratingly ironic. They hang out here to be close to us. To feed from our emotions. And now that I dont have to be here if I dont want to, Im stuck here anyway, to stay close to them.
Welcome to my afterlife. Wheres your first class?
Emma studied her new schedule as we ambled aimlessly down the hall, and I tried to ignore the stares focused on usno, focused on me. I didnt figure out what the whispers were all about until some idiot underestimated his volume.
I cant believe she came to school today. Her best friends been in the ground less than twenty-four hours, and she doesnt even look upset.
Oh. Theyd expected me to still be mourning Emma, which had never occurred to me because Emma was standing right next to me. It had been much easier to pretend to grieve during the week and a half before shed come back to school, when we were still waiting for the police to release her body so we could bury her. Without her next to me, Id had no trouble remembering that she was supposed to be dead.
Two-oh-four. Em looked up from her schedule and frowned. Im headed upstairs. See you at lunch?
Yeah. At least that much hadnt changed.
