Worth Forgiving
Page 42
I laugh humorlessly. “Who would have thought the Senator’s prodigal son would be envious of the illegitimate child?”
“Jealous?” he utters. “What on earth could you be jealous of that man for?”
I stare at him, incredulous. “He grew up without you.”
***
I don’t know why I expected my mother’s birthday party to be anything less than a show. A venue for the world to glimpse the happy couple, an attempt at restoring the Senator’s tarnished image. For the most part, I’d played the role I was expected to fill. It was just easier to go through the motions on autopilot than try to prove a point to my father. Although I did note his jaw clench when I decided to sit on the other side of the room with Lourdes, the woman who took care of me from the time I was a baby, rather than at his table, the one that was assigned to me. He didn’t really care where I sat, but the whispers started immediately and we both knew it.
I ignore my father’s act when I approach his table to ask my mother for a dance. “Well there’s my son who’s too busy running an empire to visit with his old man these days.” He says while holding court to two fellow Senators at his table, one of whom is being groomed for a potential Vice Presidential run.
“Mom, would you like to dance?” Her face lights up when I ask. It makes the torture of spending time in the same room as my father worth it to see her happy, even if it’s only for a moment.
“Thank you for coming,” she says quietly when we make our way to the dance floor.
I nod.
“Are you back for good now?” she asks.
“No. I’m honestly not sure where I’ll end up anymore, Mom.”
She looks at me nervously. “But your business is here.”
“And I have a good man running it. I spent the day with Brady. He’s got things under control.”
It looks like she wants to add something, but then she thinks better of it and simply nods. We’re both quiet for a minute, before I tell her what I’ve only just realized to be true. “I’m sorry if I’ve been hard on you, Mom. I was taking out how I feel about him on you.”
Her face saddens.
“I didn’t understand why you stayed with him. It made me angry that you let him walk all over you.”
“I love your father, Jackson,” she says almost regretfully.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you have to let him destroy you. I feel like I lost you, Mom.”
“I’ve always been right here, Jackson.”
“I don’t mean physically. I mean who are you, Mom? You’re his wife, his partner, the woman who stands by his side in the photo shoots…but does any of that make you happy?”
A tear falls from her eye, yet she smiles.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s your birthday.”
“You didn’t upset me, son. I just realized what a fine man you’ve grown into. You see things clearly. Some woman is going to be very lucky to catch you some day.”
I smile. Accepting her compliment. “I don’t know what I can do to help, but I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you. That means the world to me.”
I nod and lean down to kiss her cheek, pulling her close against me until we finish the dance. Feeling like I accomplished what I came here to do, I slip out early not long after.
Chapter 23
Lily
It had been a while since Reed and I had a Friday night movie slumber party night. Donning a sweatshirt two sizes too big and making two bowls of Moose Tracks ice cream, I settled into my worn couch, handing the one with three cherries to Reed.
“Nice sweatshirt.” My best friend grins widely knowing full well it’s Jax’s. He’d worn it for a few hours before bed the other night and it had that Jax smell on it. It isn’t cologne or soapy, it’s just his manly, delicious natural smell.
“Thanks.” I smirk, shoveling a heaping spoon of ice cream into my mouth. “So what did you bring to watch?”
“Ocean’s Eleven, Fight Club, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”
“Still on the Brad Pitt kick, I see?”
“I don’t have a Jackson Knight to keep me warm at night, so Brad fills in.”
I reach into his bowl and steal one of his cherries, popping it into my mouth before he can protest. “So how is Mr. Tall, Rich, and Lickable?”
“He’s ridiculously perfect,” I answer, catching sight of Reed’s boyishly beautiful smile. He’s almost as excited as I am that Jax and I have become so close. I wish he’d meet someone too. Someone he wants to spend more than one night with, that is.
“Do you think he’ll move to New York or will you move to D.C?”
“I don’t think we’re really up to that point yet.”
“I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you. You’re up to that point.” He shovels a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and then a shiver runs through him.
“Brain freeze?”
He nods.
“Just because it’s only been a few weeks doesn’t mean you’re not in love.”
“Who said I was in love?”
Reed looks at me, as if to say it’s painfully obviously written on my face. “How are things in your love life?” I ask. “Delivery boy still around?”
“Who?” Guess not.
“When are you going to find someone to actually have a relationship with?”
“I have lots of relationships,” Reed says matter-of-factly.
“You know what I mean,” I warn.
“When a Jackson Knight walks into my life,” he shrugs as if the answer was so simple.
“I’m not sure there are two of them,” I say jokingly, although I’m pretty sure it might be true.
Reed drops his spoon into his quickly emptied bowl with a loud clank. “Do. Not. Even. Say. That.”
“Caden’s available if you’re interested,” I tease, bumping shoulders with him.
“Thank you for waiting until after I finished my ice cream to say that. My stomach sours just thinking about that man.” Reed stands and takes my dish, even though I still have ice cream left.
“Hey, I’m not done!” I whine.
Shoveling the last few spoonfuls into his mouth, he says, “Sure you are,” and winks as he walks our dishes to the kitchen sink.
“Fight Club?” he asks, picking up the DVDs.
“You hate fighting.”
“Jealous?” he utters. “What on earth could you be jealous of that man for?”
I stare at him, incredulous. “He grew up without you.”
***
I don’t know why I expected my mother’s birthday party to be anything less than a show. A venue for the world to glimpse the happy couple, an attempt at restoring the Senator’s tarnished image. For the most part, I’d played the role I was expected to fill. It was just easier to go through the motions on autopilot than try to prove a point to my father. Although I did note his jaw clench when I decided to sit on the other side of the room with Lourdes, the woman who took care of me from the time I was a baby, rather than at his table, the one that was assigned to me. He didn’t really care where I sat, but the whispers started immediately and we both knew it.
I ignore my father’s act when I approach his table to ask my mother for a dance. “Well there’s my son who’s too busy running an empire to visit with his old man these days.” He says while holding court to two fellow Senators at his table, one of whom is being groomed for a potential Vice Presidential run.
“Mom, would you like to dance?” Her face lights up when I ask. It makes the torture of spending time in the same room as my father worth it to see her happy, even if it’s only for a moment.
“Thank you for coming,” she says quietly when we make our way to the dance floor.
I nod.
“Are you back for good now?” she asks.
“No. I’m honestly not sure where I’ll end up anymore, Mom.”
She looks at me nervously. “But your business is here.”
“And I have a good man running it. I spent the day with Brady. He’s got things under control.”
It looks like she wants to add something, but then she thinks better of it and simply nods. We’re both quiet for a minute, before I tell her what I’ve only just realized to be true. “I’m sorry if I’ve been hard on you, Mom. I was taking out how I feel about him on you.”
Her face saddens.
“I didn’t understand why you stayed with him. It made me angry that you let him walk all over you.”
“I love your father, Jackson,” she says almost regretfully.
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you have to let him destroy you. I feel like I lost you, Mom.”
“I’ve always been right here, Jackson.”
“I don’t mean physically. I mean who are you, Mom? You’re his wife, his partner, the woman who stands by his side in the photo shoots…but does any of that make you happy?”
A tear falls from her eye, yet she smiles.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s your birthday.”
“You didn’t upset me, son. I just realized what a fine man you’ve grown into. You see things clearly. Some woman is going to be very lucky to catch you some day.”
I smile. Accepting her compliment. “I don’t know what I can do to help, but I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you. That means the world to me.”
I nod and lean down to kiss her cheek, pulling her close against me until we finish the dance. Feeling like I accomplished what I came here to do, I slip out early not long after.
Chapter 23
Lily
It had been a while since Reed and I had a Friday night movie slumber party night. Donning a sweatshirt two sizes too big and making two bowls of Moose Tracks ice cream, I settled into my worn couch, handing the one with three cherries to Reed.
“Nice sweatshirt.” My best friend grins widely knowing full well it’s Jax’s. He’d worn it for a few hours before bed the other night and it had that Jax smell on it. It isn’t cologne or soapy, it’s just his manly, delicious natural smell.
“Thanks.” I smirk, shoveling a heaping spoon of ice cream into my mouth. “So what did you bring to watch?”
“Ocean’s Eleven, Fight Club, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith.”
“Still on the Brad Pitt kick, I see?”
“I don’t have a Jackson Knight to keep me warm at night, so Brad fills in.”
I reach into his bowl and steal one of his cherries, popping it into my mouth before he can protest. “So how is Mr. Tall, Rich, and Lickable?”
“He’s ridiculously perfect,” I answer, catching sight of Reed’s boyishly beautiful smile. He’s almost as excited as I am that Jax and I have become so close. I wish he’d meet someone too. Someone he wants to spend more than one night with, that is.
“Do you think he’ll move to New York or will you move to D.C?”
“I don’t think we’re really up to that point yet.”
“I see the way you look at him. The way he looks at you. You’re up to that point.” He shovels a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth and then a shiver runs through him.
“Brain freeze?”
He nods.
“Just because it’s only been a few weeks doesn’t mean you’re not in love.”
“Who said I was in love?”
Reed looks at me, as if to say it’s painfully obviously written on my face. “How are things in your love life?” I ask. “Delivery boy still around?”
“Who?” Guess not.
“When are you going to find someone to actually have a relationship with?”
“I have lots of relationships,” Reed says matter-of-factly.
“You know what I mean,” I warn.
“When a Jackson Knight walks into my life,” he shrugs as if the answer was so simple.
“I’m not sure there are two of them,” I say jokingly, although I’m pretty sure it might be true.
Reed drops his spoon into his quickly emptied bowl with a loud clank. “Do. Not. Even. Say. That.”
“Caden’s available if you’re interested,” I tease, bumping shoulders with him.
“Thank you for waiting until after I finished my ice cream to say that. My stomach sours just thinking about that man.” Reed stands and takes my dish, even though I still have ice cream left.
“Hey, I’m not done!” I whine.
Shoveling the last few spoonfuls into his mouth, he says, “Sure you are,” and winks as he walks our dishes to the kitchen sink.
“Fight Club?” he asks, picking up the DVDs.
“You hate fighting.”
