Beautiful Broken Promises
Page 36
“I wasn’t leaving. I was just giving you time to process everything.”
“You never give me time to process. It’s one of the things about you that I love so much,” he whispered. “Just don’t do that. I don’t ever want to come back and find you guys gone. I can’t handle that.”
“Oh, Lane,” I sighed.
“His terrarium was gone. That’s how I knew.”
I squeezed in as close as I possibly could, still trying to let my haywire nerves get the memo that he was here and in my arms.
“You told me to leave Kate… I just thought… you didn’t want to see me when you got back.”
He groaned painfully and said, “Babe, I’m sorry. I was speaking nonsense. All I could think about was that as**ole causing my daughter to be taken from me. I just wanted to hold her and never let anyone touch her again. I didn’t know if you would go back home, and I knew I needed to go by Audrey’s. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But I would never—and I mean never—not want to see you.”
I kissed his lips and let his words filter in, erasing any doubts I had been having about us.
“I’m sorry I scared you tonight. I was furious at him for everything, and his mouth just kept spewing more and more shit and I snapped. I never snap, I swear.” His eyes were pained, and I couldn’t believe he felt any ounce of remorse for what he had done to Adam.
“Adam deserved worse, Lane.”
“Yeah, but you shouldn't have had to witness it. I don’t like that side of me,” he mumbled.
“The side that is fiercely protective of his family? The side that would risk jail time in order to right a wrong? I love all your sides, Lane. All of them. But please, don’t ever risk getting locked up again. I’d rather Adam go to jail all in one piece than you guys becoming cellmates. We need you here.” I ran my hands through his now-drying strands.
“I promise I won’t take that risk ever again. I want to be wherever you guys are.”
“Lane, I need to apologize. I was the reason—”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Lane, if I hadn’t been in your life, you would have seen Kate grow up. You would have seen her laugh, her first words, her first tooth…” I sighed heavily as I let the information finally sink in for myself. “Ash would still be alive.”
“Look babe, we can sit here and ‘shoulda,’ ‘woulda,’ ‘coulda' all night, but that’s not going to change anything. Don’t let that sick bastard let you believe for one second that any of this was because of you.”
“I’m not saying it’s my fault…” I whispered.
“Not in so many words. But you are placing some blame on yourself. This is how life worked out for us. It sucked really bad for awhile. It was awful. I’m sure you and I both have cried ourselves to sleep more nights than most people cry in their whole lives. But now… now it’s incredible. Can you honestly tell me you had one day while you were with Adam that was better than any of the days we’ve shared together so far?” He pushed me back only a few inches so we could look one another in the eyes.
“Today was better than any day I ever had with him.”
“Damn…” he laughed. “I’ll admit, I was a cocky bastard and knew you would tell me that you hadn’t, but man… I wasn’t expecting that.” His grin melted me.
“It’s the truth,” I offered.
“I know our friends try and help, but please promise me in the future you’ll go with your gut. The girl I love so much wouldn't have run off to this place.”
“I didn’t want to.”
“And I knew that. I panicked for a little bit before realizing you would never do that to me.” He moved in closer and gently kissed my lips.
“Thank you for coming after us though. How did you find our room anyway? Jace didn't stick around for check-in.”
“There’s a girl working the front desk.” He shrugged as if seducing a receptionist was an everyday occurrence for him. “Oh, here.” He reached in between us and dug deep into his pocket. He pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to me. “I don’t actually need this.”
I glanced at the little yellow page and snapped my eyes back up to him. “Oh God, what did you do to the poor girl? She even kissed it with bright red lipstick and everything.” My hands wadded up the page with her number and lips.
“I didn't do anything,” he chuckled. “I merely asked for your room number. I thought she was writing it down for me, but then she handed me that. Do you really think I was going to argue with her? I would use all of my charms if it meant finding you.”
“Hmm… that sounds pretty possessive of you. And it sounds like something Jaxon and Jace would do.”
“Well, maybe I should start taking some pointers, because they’re in their own beds with their women tonight. I had to chase mine down.” He began to run his lips up the side of my neck and I tilted my head to give him more room to work. “Don’t be mistaken, Rae. Just because I let some douches at a bar have their fun flirting with you, that doesn't mean I won’t come out swinging when I think things have gone too far. You’re mine. You sleeping in a bed that I’m not in, it’s just not happening, baby.”
“I love you,” I breathed out.
“I have a son.” His awed tone made me smile.
“I’m glad someone understands the significance of having him in their life.” For as long as I live, I would never be able to understand why a father would not want his child.
“I do, baby. Trust me, I will treasure him every day. I would never let anything happen to him. I promise that I will always love and protect you guys. No more holding back because I’m afraid of someone forcing me to break my word. I promise the three of you that you have me forever.”
“I believe you, Lane. And I promise we’ll do the same for you.”
“You’ve already done everything for me,” he responded, while placing more of those delicious little nips across my collarbone. His eyes met mine again and he said, “I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I feel as if it’s never enough. I’ll always want more of you. Every day I wish I had found you sooner so I could love you longer.”
My mouth moved against his, trying to show him the words I could not articulate. His warm hands caused a fire to spread across my skin, and I thanked all the powers in the universe for aligning our paths.
“I like you in my shirt, babe,” he said, as he began pulling it over my head.
“It smelled like you.” My hands found the hem of his and I brought it up over his head.
The second we were both topless, we stared at one another, just drinking each other in. I looked at his hard, chiseled chest that he worked so meticulously on every day. Each curve was finely tuned, and I still couldn’t believe he was all mine.
He was the first to move and his warm hands cupped my br**sts roughly. I moaned in complete satisfaction. His body moved down mine, slowly kissing a lazy trail down my chest.
“This is gonna have to be quick, babe, if we’re gonna get any sleep tonight,” he murmured against my stomach. His hands moved down my sides until he hooked his fingers under my panties and pulled them down my legs.
“Why?” I whimpered.
“Because I’m waking you guys up at the ass-crack of dawn. I want to get back before Kate wakes up.”
That sobered me a fraction. “Oh… we could leave now.” A part of me wanted to, while another part of me was screaming at me to keep my mouth shut.
“We already paid for this huge bed. I had to hunt you down after this god-awful night. We aren’t leaving until I’ve made sure you understand how much I love you—how much I never want you to run from me again, and that I’d do anything to keep the three of you safe and happy.” His body moved down mine until he looked up at me from between my legs.
I let my head fall back and enjoyed whatever this man had to give. And God, did I enjoy it. With his mouth, his hands, and his heart, he helped ease the pain caused by the horrible events of our past. Together, we had come to terms with the hand we’d been dealt and maybe even become thankful for fate—as twisted as that bitch could be. But we had both finally been given a hand worth fighting to possess, and how could anyone not be grateful for that?
- EPILOGUE-
LANE, Ten Months Later -
“Christ, Raegan, finish it up already,” I complained while hunched over.
“It has to be perfect,” she mumbled.
“It’s six letters, baby. Write them, so we can finish this.”
“Lane, this is permanent. Let me get it exactly right.” I didn’t think her cold hands would be warming up anytime soon. I would never understand how she could have iceberg hands when it was ninety damn degrees out.
“B-R-A-D-E-N, that’s it. It shouldn't take you an hour,” I continued.
“No, mama, fix that ‘R,’ it doesn't look right,” Braden added.
“Oh, you’re right, sweetie,” Raegan cooed.
“Can we let the man do his job now?”
“Almost….” I felt her dragging the pen across my skin. “There! It’s perfect.” She clapped her hands and moved to sit directly in front of me.
I was straddling the chair and leaning over the back. Raegan smiled brightly when we finally sat face-to-face. Kate sat on her right, looking both worried and uncomfortable. It was Braden that made me chuckle though, because I had never seen him smile so much in the entire year I had known him.
“Smile, Kit Kat.” I grinned at her.
“Will it hurt, daddy?” her little voice asked.
“Dad is strong, he won’t cry!” Braden chimed in, while flexing his muscles.
“I can handle it, Kate. Besides, it’s time for Braden to join you, right?”
She nodded her head but still looked concerned. Braden was bouncing in his seat and Raegan mouthed ‘thank you’ to me. As if she had to thank me—these three were my whole entire world.
I tried not to think about my life a year ago and how lost I was without them. I didn't know if Kate was alive or dead, and I had no idea that Raegan and Braden would one day become such a huge part of my life. Now I loved them so much it hurt—literally.
I almost cringed when the needle touched the back of my neck, but I was able to maintain a stoic yet relaxed face in front of my anxious crew. After a few minutes of the buzzing sound across my skin, Kate finally let out a deep breath. I watched as she realized I wasn’t being tortured and that this was something it was time to do for her brother.
Ash had once written Kate’s name out across the back of my neck. I wanted a piece of both of her parents to show my love for her. It was only right to do the same for my son. And Raegan needed to be the one to write out his name.
My son. Those words still blew my mind.
The formal adoption papers had finally come in the mail this past week. Raegan had officially adopted Kate, and I had done the same with Braden. I wasn’t surprised when Adam had readily terminated his parental rights, even though Rae had been worried we’d have to fight him. It wasn’t hard to convince him though. I put a little extra on his prison commissary tab and, just like that, he signed over his son. Disgusting bastard.
Our family was now legal. Raegan and I had gone to the courthouse and said our vows not long after the whole Adam debacle. I’d protested and said that we should have a big affair because she deserved to be spoiled, but she swore up and down that wasn’t what she wanted. All she wanted was to work on the adoptions and we had to be married for that to happen.
My mom kicked my ass from New York to Texas when she found out I was married in a courthouse. She even traveled the fifteen hundred miles just so she could frown at me while she made me help her unpack. She and my dad bought a little house in the same town where we lived after he retired from the force and joined the County Sheriff’s office to work alongside Mack. Mom would never let him putter around the house in retirement; they would drive each other nuts. I loved that they lived so close to us and the kids loved having their grandparents nearby, who did everything in their power to spoil them rotten.
“You done back there?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Lane!” Rae hissed. “Do not rush him!”
“I’m antsy, babe.”
“The plane doesn’t even leave for another six hours. We can’t get there any faster,” she laughed.
“Maybe we could ask them if they have any flights going out sooner?” I asked, grasping at straws. She mouthed ‘no’ to me and I lowered my head back down to my chest in defeat.
“Dude, I can’t believe you’re getting a tattoo right before you head to the beach,” I heard Jace’s voice from behind me.
“Uhh…. I have to advise against that,” James, the tattoo artist, said between the buzzing sounds of his machine.
“I’ll be fine.” I shrugged it off without actually moving my shoulders.
“Yeah, my dad is strong!” Braden cried out. I reached out my fist and bumped knuckles with the little dude.
My front door opened and closed a few more times, and I knew the whole gang was here now. I paid the tattoo artist extra to come to the house. I didn’t feel right about taking Kate and Braden to a tattoo shop. There was no telling what the other artists would be tattooing or piercing on their clients. The kids weren’t old enough for that talk yet.
“Hey!” Audrey called out. She walked into my view and held out her arms for Braden. “It’s the big day, huh?”
“You never give me time to process. It’s one of the things about you that I love so much,” he whispered. “Just don’t do that. I don’t ever want to come back and find you guys gone. I can’t handle that.”
“Oh, Lane,” I sighed.
“His terrarium was gone. That’s how I knew.”
I squeezed in as close as I possibly could, still trying to let my haywire nerves get the memo that he was here and in my arms.
“You told me to leave Kate… I just thought… you didn’t want to see me when you got back.”
He groaned painfully and said, “Babe, I’m sorry. I was speaking nonsense. All I could think about was that as**ole causing my daughter to be taken from me. I just wanted to hold her and never let anyone touch her again. I didn’t know if you would go back home, and I knew I needed to go by Audrey’s. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. But I would never—and I mean never—not want to see you.”
I kissed his lips and let his words filter in, erasing any doubts I had been having about us.
“I’m sorry I scared you tonight. I was furious at him for everything, and his mouth just kept spewing more and more shit and I snapped. I never snap, I swear.” His eyes were pained, and I couldn’t believe he felt any ounce of remorse for what he had done to Adam.
“Adam deserved worse, Lane.”
“Yeah, but you shouldn't have had to witness it. I don’t like that side of me,” he mumbled.
“The side that is fiercely protective of his family? The side that would risk jail time in order to right a wrong? I love all your sides, Lane. All of them. But please, don’t ever risk getting locked up again. I’d rather Adam go to jail all in one piece than you guys becoming cellmates. We need you here.” I ran my hands through his now-drying strands.
“I promise I won’t take that risk ever again. I want to be wherever you guys are.”
“Lane, I need to apologize. I was the reason—”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Lane, if I hadn’t been in your life, you would have seen Kate grow up. You would have seen her laugh, her first words, her first tooth…” I sighed heavily as I let the information finally sink in for myself. “Ash would still be alive.”
“Look babe, we can sit here and ‘shoulda,’ ‘woulda,’ ‘coulda' all night, but that’s not going to change anything. Don’t let that sick bastard let you believe for one second that any of this was because of you.”
“I’m not saying it’s my fault…” I whispered.
“Not in so many words. But you are placing some blame on yourself. This is how life worked out for us. It sucked really bad for awhile. It was awful. I’m sure you and I both have cried ourselves to sleep more nights than most people cry in their whole lives. But now… now it’s incredible. Can you honestly tell me you had one day while you were with Adam that was better than any of the days we’ve shared together so far?” He pushed me back only a few inches so we could look one another in the eyes.
“Today was better than any day I ever had with him.”
“Damn…” he laughed. “I’ll admit, I was a cocky bastard and knew you would tell me that you hadn’t, but man… I wasn’t expecting that.” His grin melted me.
“It’s the truth,” I offered.
“I know our friends try and help, but please promise me in the future you’ll go with your gut. The girl I love so much wouldn't have run off to this place.”
“I didn’t want to.”
“And I knew that. I panicked for a little bit before realizing you would never do that to me.” He moved in closer and gently kissed my lips.
“Thank you for coming after us though. How did you find our room anyway? Jace didn't stick around for check-in.”
“There’s a girl working the front desk.” He shrugged as if seducing a receptionist was an everyday occurrence for him. “Oh, here.” He reached in between us and dug deep into his pocket. He pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to me. “I don’t actually need this.”
I glanced at the little yellow page and snapped my eyes back up to him. “Oh God, what did you do to the poor girl? She even kissed it with bright red lipstick and everything.” My hands wadded up the page with her number and lips.
“I didn't do anything,” he chuckled. “I merely asked for your room number. I thought she was writing it down for me, but then she handed me that. Do you really think I was going to argue with her? I would use all of my charms if it meant finding you.”
“Hmm… that sounds pretty possessive of you. And it sounds like something Jaxon and Jace would do.”
“Well, maybe I should start taking some pointers, because they’re in their own beds with their women tonight. I had to chase mine down.” He began to run his lips up the side of my neck and I tilted my head to give him more room to work. “Don’t be mistaken, Rae. Just because I let some douches at a bar have their fun flirting with you, that doesn't mean I won’t come out swinging when I think things have gone too far. You’re mine. You sleeping in a bed that I’m not in, it’s just not happening, baby.”
“I love you,” I breathed out.
“I have a son.” His awed tone made me smile.
“I’m glad someone understands the significance of having him in their life.” For as long as I live, I would never be able to understand why a father would not want his child.
“I do, baby. Trust me, I will treasure him every day. I would never let anything happen to him. I promise that I will always love and protect you guys. No more holding back because I’m afraid of someone forcing me to break my word. I promise the three of you that you have me forever.”
“I believe you, Lane. And I promise we’ll do the same for you.”
“You’ve already done everything for me,” he responded, while placing more of those delicious little nips across my collarbone. His eyes met mine again and he said, “I love you. I love you so much that sometimes I feel as if it’s never enough. I’ll always want more of you. Every day I wish I had found you sooner so I could love you longer.”
My mouth moved against his, trying to show him the words I could not articulate. His warm hands caused a fire to spread across my skin, and I thanked all the powers in the universe for aligning our paths.
“I like you in my shirt, babe,” he said, as he began pulling it over my head.
“It smelled like you.” My hands found the hem of his and I brought it up over his head.
The second we were both topless, we stared at one another, just drinking each other in. I looked at his hard, chiseled chest that he worked so meticulously on every day. Each curve was finely tuned, and I still couldn’t believe he was all mine.
He was the first to move and his warm hands cupped my br**sts roughly. I moaned in complete satisfaction. His body moved down mine, slowly kissing a lazy trail down my chest.
“This is gonna have to be quick, babe, if we’re gonna get any sleep tonight,” he murmured against my stomach. His hands moved down my sides until he hooked his fingers under my panties and pulled them down my legs.
“Why?” I whimpered.
“Because I’m waking you guys up at the ass-crack of dawn. I want to get back before Kate wakes up.”
That sobered me a fraction. “Oh… we could leave now.” A part of me wanted to, while another part of me was screaming at me to keep my mouth shut.
“We already paid for this huge bed. I had to hunt you down after this god-awful night. We aren’t leaving until I’ve made sure you understand how much I love you—how much I never want you to run from me again, and that I’d do anything to keep the three of you safe and happy.” His body moved down mine until he looked up at me from between my legs.
I let my head fall back and enjoyed whatever this man had to give. And God, did I enjoy it. With his mouth, his hands, and his heart, he helped ease the pain caused by the horrible events of our past. Together, we had come to terms with the hand we’d been dealt and maybe even become thankful for fate—as twisted as that bitch could be. But we had both finally been given a hand worth fighting to possess, and how could anyone not be grateful for that?
- EPILOGUE-
LANE, Ten Months Later -
“Christ, Raegan, finish it up already,” I complained while hunched over.
“It has to be perfect,” she mumbled.
“It’s six letters, baby. Write them, so we can finish this.”
“Lane, this is permanent. Let me get it exactly right.” I didn’t think her cold hands would be warming up anytime soon. I would never understand how she could have iceberg hands when it was ninety damn degrees out.
“B-R-A-D-E-N, that’s it. It shouldn't take you an hour,” I continued.
“No, mama, fix that ‘R,’ it doesn't look right,” Braden added.
“Oh, you’re right, sweetie,” Raegan cooed.
“Can we let the man do his job now?”
“Almost….” I felt her dragging the pen across my skin. “There! It’s perfect.” She clapped her hands and moved to sit directly in front of me.
I was straddling the chair and leaning over the back. Raegan smiled brightly when we finally sat face-to-face. Kate sat on her right, looking both worried and uncomfortable. It was Braden that made me chuckle though, because I had never seen him smile so much in the entire year I had known him.
“Smile, Kit Kat.” I grinned at her.
“Will it hurt, daddy?” her little voice asked.
“Dad is strong, he won’t cry!” Braden chimed in, while flexing his muscles.
“I can handle it, Kate. Besides, it’s time for Braden to join you, right?”
She nodded her head but still looked concerned. Braden was bouncing in his seat and Raegan mouthed ‘thank you’ to me. As if she had to thank me—these three were my whole entire world.
I tried not to think about my life a year ago and how lost I was without them. I didn't know if Kate was alive or dead, and I had no idea that Raegan and Braden would one day become such a huge part of my life. Now I loved them so much it hurt—literally.
I almost cringed when the needle touched the back of my neck, but I was able to maintain a stoic yet relaxed face in front of my anxious crew. After a few minutes of the buzzing sound across my skin, Kate finally let out a deep breath. I watched as she realized I wasn’t being tortured and that this was something it was time to do for her brother.
Ash had once written Kate’s name out across the back of my neck. I wanted a piece of both of her parents to show my love for her. It was only right to do the same for my son. And Raegan needed to be the one to write out his name.
My son. Those words still blew my mind.
The formal adoption papers had finally come in the mail this past week. Raegan had officially adopted Kate, and I had done the same with Braden. I wasn’t surprised when Adam had readily terminated his parental rights, even though Rae had been worried we’d have to fight him. It wasn’t hard to convince him though. I put a little extra on his prison commissary tab and, just like that, he signed over his son. Disgusting bastard.
Our family was now legal. Raegan and I had gone to the courthouse and said our vows not long after the whole Adam debacle. I’d protested and said that we should have a big affair because she deserved to be spoiled, but she swore up and down that wasn’t what she wanted. All she wanted was to work on the adoptions and we had to be married for that to happen.
My mom kicked my ass from New York to Texas when she found out I was married in a courthouse. She even traveled the fifteen hundred miles just so she could frown at me while she made me help her unpack. She and my dad bought a little house in the same town where we lived after he retired from the force and joined the County Sheriff’s office to work alongside Mack. Mom would never let him putter around the house in retirement; they would drive each other nuts. I loved that they lived so close to us and the kids loved having their grandparents nearby, who did everything in their power to spoil them rotten.
“You done back there?” I asked over my shoulder.
“Lane!” Rae hissed. “Do not rush him!”
“I’m antsy, babe.”
“The plane doesn’t even leave for another six hours. We can’t get there any faster,” she laughed.
“Maybe we could ask them if they have any flights going out sooner?” I asked, grasping at straws. She mouthed ‘no’ to me and I lowered my head back down to my chest in defeat.
“Dude, I can’t believe you’re getting a tattoo right before you head to the beach,” I heard Jace’s voice from behind me.
“Uhh…. I have to advise against that,” James, the tattoo artist, said between the buzzing sounds of his machine.
“I’ll be fine.” I shrugged it off without actually moving my shoulders.
“Yeah, my dad is strong!” Braden cried out. I reached out my fist and bumped knuckles with the little dude.
My front door opened and closed a few more times, and I knew the whole gang was here now. I paid the tattoo artist extra to come to the house. I didn’t feel right about taking Kate and Braden to a tattoo shop. There was no telling what the other artists would be tattooing or piercing on their clients. The kids weren’t old enough for that talk yet.
“Hey!” Audrey called out. She walked into my view and held out her arms for Braden. “It’s the big day, huh?”
