Blue Lines
Page 97
“She won’t. She loves you and she isn’t going anywhere. You are the most insecure dude I have ever met, and it’s pointless. She isn’t your mom, dude, and you aren’t your dad; you are your own person. And Erik, you and her need each other.” Phillip stood up and faced Erik. “Not only for that kid but also for each other. Don’t f**k up anymore, man. Just tell her how you really feel. Stop this madness; it’s stupid.”
Erik shook his head. “I don’t know how,” he mumbled.
Phillip rolled his eyes, getting off the couch and putting a hand on Erik’s shoulder. “It’s easy, dude: You take her by her face,” he said, taking Erik’s face in his hands, causing Erik to jump in surprise. His eyes were wide as Phillip went on. “And you say, ‘Listen, baby, I love you; be with me and no one else. I’m sorry for hurting you and I promise I’ll never do it again.’ Easy. What’s so hard about that?”
Erik smacked away Phillip’s hands, shaking his head. “Because it is.”
“Because you are a coward. Grow some balls, dude, or let her go.”
“I don’t want to let her go, but I don’t know how to say something that I have never said to anyone in my life,” Erik said.
Erik could tell that Phillip was getting pissed. “Can you imagine her with anyone else?”
“No.”
“Can you imagine yourself with anyone else?”
Erik thought for a moment and all he saw was Piper, but then he remembered how he had acted around those girls at the rink. He loved Piper, wanted to be with her, but why did he respond to those women the way he had? Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “I don’t know.”
Phillip shook his head. “Well, I don’t, either, but let me tell you, she isn’t going to be there forever. You may not be able to imagine her with anyone else, but she is gorgeous, a real catch, and someone is going to scoop her up and then you’ll be sitting here crying and only seeing her when you go to pick your kid up. You’d better figure something out before it’s too late.”
With that Phillip walked out of the kitchen and made his way down the hall, leaving Erik with his demons. He was so confused and felt as if he was always going to be this confused, lonely guy. Phillip was right, he was insecure, but when he was with Piper, holding her, looking into her eyes, he felt like he was that man.
The one worthy of her love.
* * *
The next night, Erik leaned against the bedboard, Stanley snoring beside him, as he tried to focus on his book. Not only was it hard to focus when he was a little drunk, but also the sounds of Phillip’s party were distracting him. He asked Erik to stay out, to mingle with the girls, but Erik wanted to be with his dog and a full bottle of Patrón.
Erik had taken Phillip’s advice and had analyzed everything about Piper and him. He had spent hours trying to think of any reason why she might leave him. She knew all his shit, knew that he was kind of an idiot and just as flighty as she was, and yet she still loved him. She knew that sometimes he could be hard to love but she still did; she wanted to be with him. She fought for him and made him believe that he was a good man. So why would she leave? She wasn’t Katria and he had to believe and trust that she would indeed never be that wretched woman.
Sitting up, he noticed Stanley was staring at him. Erik could see where his nose was rough and felt guilty for not taking care of it. He was such a self-centered ass; how in the world could he forget to put some lotion on his dog’s nose? Probably because Piper had been the one to do that for him.
“Come on, bud, let’s go get your lotion.”
Stanley hopped off the bed and led the way to the kitchen. When Erik entered the living room, Phillip jumped up, announcing his arrival: “And here he is, ladies, my main man.”
Erik watched as some of the girls perked up, sending dazzling smiles his way. They were gorgeous, all of them, but he had no interest. Waving as he passed through, Erik went to the kitchen, grabbing Stanley’s lotion out of the cabinet.
“Why don’t you come hang with us, Erik?” Phillip said as Erik bent down to rub his puppy’s nose with salve. Stanley gave Erik a big wet kiss before he stood up.
“No thanks, I’m tired.”
“Come on, I insist.” Phillip pulled him down onto the couch between him and a bleached blond broad. Erik shot Phillip a glare as he leaned back, all eyes on him. Phillip had invited five girls over, hoping that Erik would take a couple of them. Too bad, because Erik did not want to be here. He wanted to go back into his room and think of how he was going to approach Piper tomorrow at Audrey and Tate’s wedding. He knew she was going to be standoffish since she hadn’t answered his texts or calls, but he knew he had to try. He needed her to listen to him; he needed to make her believe that he really did love her and that he had been an idiot. He didn’t have it all together and probably never would but there was hope for them. They weren’t broken, maybe a little bent, but with their love, they could make it.
It was like Alla had said, “You don’t need the perfect relationship, Erik, you only need someone who won’t give up on you, and I believe that Piper is that girl. She will fight for you.”
And she was right.
But instead of being in his room, planning what he needed to say, he was sitting in a room filled with women. Looking around the room, he realized that he was attracted to each of them. But he didn’t want them. He didn’t have the intense desire he had when he was with Piper. His hands didn’t itch to touch any of them, his dick didn’t throb, nothing. It was the craziest thing and soon he was smiling like a fool. Maybe he needed this time away from Piper to make him realize that he wasn’t complete without her.
Erik shook his head. “I don’t know how,” he mumbled.
Phillip rolled his eyes, getting off the couch and putting a hand on Erik’s shoulder. “It’s easy, dude: You take her by her face,” he said, taking Erik’s face in his hands, causing Erik to jump in surprise. His eyes were wide as Phillip went on. “And you say, ‘Listen, baby, I love you; be with me and no one else. I’m sorry for hurting you and I promise I’ll never do it again.’ Easy. What’s so hard about that?”
Erik smacked away Phillip’s hands, shaking his head. “Because it is.”
“Because you are a coward. Grow some balls, dude, or let her go.”
“I don’t want to let her go, but I don’t know how to say something that I have never said to anyone in my life,” Erik said.
Erik could tell that Phillip was getting pissed. “Can you imagine her with anyone else?”
“No.”
“Can you imagine yourself with anyone else?”
Erik thought for a moment and all he saw was Piper, but then he remembered how he had acted around those girls at the rink. He loved Piper, wanted to be with her, but why did he respond to those women the way he had? Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “I don’t know.”
Phillip shook his head. “Well, I don’t, either, but let me tell you, she isn’t going to be there forever. You may not be able to imagine her with anyone else, but she is gorgeous, a real catch, and someone is going to scoop her up and then you’ll be sitting here crying and only seeing her when you go to pick your kid up. You’d better figure something out before it’s too late.”
With that Phillip walked out of the kitchen and made his way down the hall, leaving Erik with his demons. He was so confused and felt as if he was always going to be this confused, lonely guy. Phillip was right, he was insecure, but when he was with Piper, holding her, looking into her eyes, he felt like he was that man.
The one worthy of her love.
* * *
The next night, Erik leaned against the bedboard, Stanley snoring beside him, as he tried to focus on his book. Not only was it hard to focus when he was a little drunk, but also the sounds of Phillip’s party were distracting him. He asked Erik to stay out, to mingle with the girls, but Erik wanted to be with his dog and a full bottle of Patrón.
Erik had taken Phillip’s advice and had analyzed everything about Piper and him. He had spent hours trying to think of any reason why she might leave him. She knew all his shit, knew that he was kind of an idiot and just as flighty as she was, and yet she still loved him. She knew that sometimes he could be hard to love but she still did; she wanted to be with him. She fought for him and made him believe that he was a good man. So why would she leave? She wasn’t Katria and he had to believe and trust that she would indeed never be that wretched woman.
Sitting up, he noticed Stanley was staring at him. Erik could see where his nose was rough and felt guilty for not taking care of it. He was such a self-centered ass; how in the world could he forget to put some lotion on his dog’s nose? Probably because Piper had been the one to do that for him.
“Come on, bud, let’s go get your lotion.”
Stanley hopped off the bed and led the way to the kitchen. When Erik entered the living room, Phillip jumped up, announcing his arrival: “And here he is, ladies, my main man.”
Erik watched as some of the girls perked up, sending dazzling smiles his way. They were gorgeous, all of them, but he had no interest. Waving as he passed through, Erik went to the kitchen, grabbing Stanley’s lotion out of the cabinet.
“Why don’t you come hang with us, Erik?” Phillip said as Erik bent down to rub his puppy’s nose with salve. Stanley gave Erik a big wet kiss before he stood up.
“No thanks, I’m tired.”
“Come on, I insist.” Phillip pulled him down onto the couch between him and a bleached blond broad. Erik shot Phillip a glare as he leaned back, all eyes on him. Phillip had invited five girls over, hoping that Erik would take a couple of them. Too bad, because Erik did not want to be here. He wanted to go back into his room and think of how he was going to approach Piper tomorrow at Audrey and Tate’s wedding. He knew she was going to be standoffish since she hadn’t answered his texts or calls, but he knew he had to try. He needed her to listen to him; he needed to make her believe that he really did love her and that he had been an idiot. He didn’t have it all together and probably never would but there was hope for them. They weren’t broken, maybe a little bent, but with their love, they could make it.
It was like Alla had said, “You don’t need the perfect relationship, Erik, you only need someone who won’t give up on you, and I believe that Piper is that girl. She will fight for you.”
And she was right.
But instead of being in his room, planning what he needed to say, he was sitting in a room filled with women. Looking around the room, he realized that he was attracted to each of them. But he didn’t want them. He didn’t have the intense desire he had when he was with Piper. His hands didn’t itch to touch any of them, his dick didn’t throb, nothing. It was the craziest thing and soon he was smiling like a fool. Maybe he needed this time away from Piper to make him realize that he wasn’t complete without her.
