Crimson Death
Page 85
“Do you really want to have this debate now? I only have a few minutes before I have to go back inside and play referee for more negotiations.”
“Point made,” I said, and tried to explain how I’d ended up going to Ireland with not just Nathaniel, but every lover he had. Jean-Claude was staying home, but he and Micah weren’t lovers, contrary to the rumor mill.
He was quiet for a minute, then said slowly, as if he were choosing his words, “So let me test my understanding—you’re taking Nathaniel because he finally figured out how to control your triumvirate with Damian, which gives you a power boost and makes Damian feel safer going back to the country he escaped from?”
“He didn’t escape. His old master let him go.”
“After torturing him for centuries, she just let him go?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“He thinks in her own twisted way she cared for him and was afraid she would finally kill him.”
“You mean she sent him away to save him?” Micah sounded dubious. I couldn’t really blame him.
“That’s what Damian said.”
“What do you think?”
“I think we’ll have guards and the police, plus a paramilitary unit, looking after our safety. I don’t think we’ll be seeing Damian’s old master in person.”
“And you really think that the death of Marmee Noir lost his old master that much power?”
“It’s possible.”
“A lot of things are possible, Anita. Explain to me again why you and Nathaniel are suddenly more attracted to Damian.”
“You know how your wish was to find a safe haven, a home, for you and your wereleopards when you met me, and my wish was to find a true partner, so the ardeur gave us both our hearts’ desires?”
“Yes.”
“Damian wanted us, someone, to desire him the way we desire you. Nathaniel wanted Damian to want him and be a real lover to him. He’s tired of so many men being afraid of guy-on-guy stuff.”
“He’s been very patient with me; it’s one of the reasons I love him.”
“I wasn’t hinting about you, Micah.”
“Maybe I just feel guilty that I made Nathaniel feel rejected for so long.”
“That’s your issue in your head. I did not think it or imply it, and wasn’t trying to.”
“That’s fair,” he said. “What did you want when the power rose, Anita?”
“I remember thinking life would be easier if more of the men were actually bisexual.”
“And you say Damian took it well? I mean, he’s truly homophobic. I just wasn’t into guys before Nathaniel.”
“He seems fine, in fact eerily so. Jean-Claude thinks that Nathaniel literally bespelled him.”
“And you, because you lost time, too.”
“I know.”
“How did the spell work on you?”
“I told you I’m more attracted to Damian than I ever have been.”
“So much so that you’re taking other lovers to make sure you and Nathaniel don’t get carried away romantically with him.” Micah’s voice was a little dry.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Fortune, Echo, and Magda—I understand they’re all Harlequin and your lovers.”
“Hey, you’re lovers with all the women, too.”
“You don’t need to get defensive on my part, Anita. I’m not criticizing.”
“Sorry. I think I feel bad that I’m taking all your lovers out of town.”
“Don’t. You explained why you can’t take any of the rats and you need people you can feed the ardeur on anyway. With Magda you also get her master, Giacomo, and they are some of the toughest warriors we have. I like you taking good people with you and Nathaniel.”
“We’ll have Nicky, too. He’ll keep us safe.”
“I never doubt Nicky. He’d give his life for you and Nathaniel, so I’m good with him going, too.”
“Jake and Kaazim, Pride, Dev, Domino, Socrates, and probably Ethan.”
“We don’t have any bad people working security for us, Anita, and you’ve got to weight the list toward ones who would be willing to feed you and the vampires that will be traveling with you. What’s bothering you that you feel like you have to explain it all to me? Usually you just grab your choice of backup and go. You take Nicky the way I take Bram, but other than that we both pick the people best for the job.”
“You told me that you had an issue with Dev.”
“No, I have an issue with me that I didn’t realize until Dev started dating Nathaniel, you, and Jean-Claude.”
“Dev and I don’t really date.”
“He dates both the men.”
I nodded, realized he couldn’t see it, and said, “Yes, he does.”
“He’s also completely and comfortably bisexual with both of them and I’m not.”
“You and Nathaniel are lovers, and you’re . . . more than just friends with Jean-Claude.”
“There are still things I don’t do with Nathaniel that he misses. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to Dev dating him. We’re polyamorous, not monogamous, so it seemed logical and fair that he have another man in his life who could give him what I couldn’t.”
“Anytime you make romantic decisions that are logical and fair, they usually end up making someone feel that they are very illogical and unfair,” I said.
“Now you tell me.” He tried to make it a joke, but it didn’t quite work.
“Jean-Claude still won’t be in bed with Dev and Nathaniel without at least you or me.”
“He won’t be with Nathaniel without you in bed with them. Jean-Claude wasn’t meeting all of Nathaniel’s guy-on-guy needs any more than I was.”
“You told me that you were having issues with Nathaniel getting more serious with Dev than you expected, or something like that.”
“Yeah, something like that. I totally underestimated how much it would mean to the man I love to have a man in his bed who was happy to do everything possible with him.”
“And Dev is frustrated that Jean-Claude isn’t responding to his charms with as much enthusiasm as Nathaniel,” I said.
“I don’t think Jean-Claude is as into men as either of them.”
“Point made,” I said, and tried to explain how I’d ended up going to Ireland with not just Nathaniel, but every lover he had. Jean-Claude was staying home, but he and Micah weren’t lovers, contrary to the rumor mill.
He was quiet for a minute, then said slowly, as if he were choosing his words, “So let me test my understanding—you’re taking Nathaniel because he finally figured out how to control your triumvirate with Damian, which gives you a power boost and makes Damian feel safer going back to the country he escaped from?”
“He didn’t escape. His old master let him go.”
“After torturing him for centuries, she just let him go?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“He thinks in her own twisted way she cared for him and was afraid she would finally kill him.”
“You mean she sent him away to save him?” Micah sounded dubious. I couldn’t really blame him.
“That’s what Damian said.”
“What do you think?”
“I think we’ll have guards and the police, plus a paramilitary unit, looking after our safety. I don’t think we’ll be seeing Damian’s old master in person.”
“And you really think that the death of Marmee Noir lost his old master that much power?”
“It’s possible.”
“A lot of things are possible, Anita. Explain to me again why you and Nathaniel are suddenly more attracted to Damian.”
“You know how your wish was to find a safe haven, a home, for you and your wereleopards when you met me, and my wish was to find a true partner, so the ardeur gave us both our hearts’ desires?”
“Yes.”
“Damian wanted us, someone, to desire him the way we desire you. Nathaniel wanted Damian to want him and be a real lover to him. He’s tired of so many men being afraid of guy-on-guy stuff.”
“He’s been very patient with me; it’s one of the reasons I love him.”
“I wasn’t hinting about you, Micah.”
“Maybe I just feel guilty that I made Nathaniel feel rejected for so long.”
“That’s your issue in your head. I did not think it or imply it, and wasn’t trying to.”
“That’s fair,” he said. “What did you want when the power rose, Anita?”
“I remember thinking life would be easier if more of the men were actually bisexual.”
“And you say Damian took it well? I mean, he’s truly homophobic. I just wasn’t into guys before Nathaniel.”
“He seems fine, in fact eerily so. Jean-Claude thinks that Nathaniel literally bespelled him.”
“And you, because you lost time, too.”
“I know.”
“How did the spell work on you?”
“I told you I’m more attracted to Damian than I ever have been.”
“So much so that you’re taking other lovers to make sure you and Nathaniel don’t get carried away romantically with him.” Micah’s voice was a little dry.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Fortune, Echo, and Magda—I understand they’re all Harlequin and your lovers.”
“Hey, you’re lovers with all the women, too.”
“You don’t need to get defensive on my part, Anita. I’m not criticizing.”
“Sorry. I think I feel bad that I’m taking all your lovers out of town.”
“Don’t. You explained why you can’t take any of the rats and you need people you can feed the ardeur on anyway. With Magda you also get her master, Giacomo, and they are some of the toughest warriors we have. I like you taking good people with you and Nathaniel.”
“We’ll have Nicky, too. He’ll keep us safe.”
“I never doubt Nicky. He’d give his life for you and Nathaniel, so I’m good with him going, too.”
“Jake and Kaazim, Pride, Dev, Domino, Socrates, and probably Ethan.”
“We don’t have any bad people working security for us, Anita, and you’ve got to weight the list toward ones who would be willing to feed you and the vampires that will be traveling with you. What’s bothering you that you feel like you have to explain it all to me? Usually you just grab your choice of backup and go. You take Nicky the way I take Bram, but other than that we both pick the people best for the job.”
“You told me that you had an issue with Dev.”
“No, I have an issue with me that I didn’t realize until Dev started dating Nathaniel, you, and Jean-Claude.”
“Dev and I don’t really date.”
“He dates both the men.”
I nodded, realized he couldn’t see it, and said, “Yes, he does.”
“He’s also completely and comfortably bisexual with both of them and I’m not.”
“You and Nathaniel are lovers, and you’re . . . more than just friends with Jean-Claude.”
“There are still things I don’t do with Nathaniel that he misses. It’s one of the reasons I agreed to Dev dating him. We’re polyamorous, not monogamous, so it seemed logical and fair that he have another man in his life who could give him what I couldn’t.”
“Anytime you make romantic decisions that are logical and fair, they usually end up making someone feel that they are very illogical and unfair,” I said.
“Now you tell me.” He tried to make it a joke, but it didn’t quite work.
“Jean-Claude still won’t be in bed with Dev and Nathaniel without at least you or me.”
“He won’t be with Nathaniel without you in bed with them. Jean-Claude wasn’t meeting all of Nathaniel’s guy-on-guy needs any more than I was.”
“You told me that you were having issues with Nathaniel getting more serious with Dev than you expected, or something like that.”
“Yeah, something like that. I totally underestimated how much it would mean to the man I love to have a man in his bed who was happy to do everything possible with him.”
“And Dev is frustrated that Jean-Claude isn’t responding to his charms with as much enthusiasm as Nathaniel,” I said.
“I don’t think Jean-Claude is as into men as either of them.”
