Desertion
Page 14
Finishing my shower I stay naked, close the door the bitch left open, then throw myself back into bed. My room smells like sex, my sheets in need of a fucking wash, but I block it all out and hope come morning, the fucking dream is out of my head.
“Morning, fuckers.” I walk out to the kitchen the next morning to start my day, flashing my happy-go-fucking-lucky smile.
“What the fuck is good about this morning?” Nix grumbles and I remember the shit he was slurring last night.
“Yeah, what the fuck are you so happy about?” Beau asks, pouring himself a coffee.
“I know.” Holly smiles around a mouthful of toast.
“What would you know?” I accuse, hoping she doesn’t see through my shit.
“I know that smile is extra wide because of who you had in your bed last night.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Holly?” I move toward the coffee not in the mood to play her guessing game.
“I saw Nurse Bell doing the walk of shame last night.”
What the fuck?
“Nurse Bell?” Sy asks, looking up at his woman.
“Fuck off.” I shake my head thinking she’s fucking with me. That shit didn’t happen.
“Don’t deny it, Jesse.”
“That wasn’t Bell. That was…” I search for her name. “Gretchen. No Grace,” I say finally, remembering the small clumsy woman’s name.
“Jesse, I spoke to her for a few minutes.” She smiles like someone who just showed her trump card. “It was Bell.”
“It wasn’t Bell,” I repeat, forcing myself to try to remember her face. Jesus, fuck, I’m such a fucker I can’t even remember her face.
“It was. She was here with some friends,” Holly argues while I desperately try to remember. “I thought she looked familiar when she walked in,” Holly keeps talking, unaware of my inner turmoil. “She looks so different dressed up,” she says and it clicks.
Holy fuck. It was her. Fuck me, Nurse Bell. I fucked Nurse Bell? The woman who has played hard to get since I met her, the same woman I just kicked out of my bed hours ago.
“Are you okay, Jesse?” Sy asks, picking up on my panic, but I don’t answer. What’s there to say? I don’t even remember fucking her.
Fuck. How could I fuck this up so bad?
Six BELL
“You jerked him off?” Lissy gasps and I know I shouldn’t have done this over the phone. I should have told her last night on our way home from the Knights Rebels’ clubhouse, but I was feeling sorry for myself. I just wanted to get home and shower. I refused to talk about what happened with any of the girls, and when I woke this morning, at Lissy’s house, I snuck home before they could drill me again.
“Ugh, yes.”
“Oh, my God, is he huge? Was it good? What else happened?” She keeps the questions coming, but I don’t answer. I’m too busy playing the night over and over in my head. I knew when Jesse walked up to the blonde I was losing my chance to talk to him. It was like watching him slip through my fingers. I thought my chance was gone, then Lissy managed to get the blonde away, and Jesse crashed into me. I wasn’t expecting him to come on to me. I knew he was drunk. I watched him throw back way too many drinks, but it didn’t stop me from letting him take me to his room. Didn’t stop me from turning back to watch him touch himself. And I definitely didn’t stop myself from touching him. It was as if my body was on autopilot and I had no control.
“Hello, Earth to Bell. What else happened then?” Lissy asks again, breaking my train of thought.
“Nothing.” I keep my answer vague, hoping Lissy will find it boring enough to keep to herself, because the last thing I need is for the others to find out what happened. “You’re no fun, so why didn’t you tell him it was you?” She keeps asking the questions I keep rolling around in my head.
“I don’t know. I thought it would be easier.”
“Did you ask him about Paige?”
“No.”
“Why not?” she pushes¸ and I know she has a point pushing me. Someone has to. I just did what I did, and for what?
“Because he was drunk. He passed out and when he woke up, he kicked me out. Can we not talk about it anymore?” I snap. “I don’t want to relive the moment of him kicking me out again. Once was enough.”
“Bell.”
“Listen, I have to go. My shift starts back in ten.” I look at the clock, wishing my break lasted longer than forty-five minutes.
“Dinner at my house tomorrow. Don’t be late. The Hundred is on,” she responds, letting it go and I’m thankful. I need more time to get my head around what happened last night.
“Yep, how could I forget,” I tease. I know how much she loves our dinner and TV show nights.
“Love you, Bell.”
“Yeah, me too,” I reply and hang up. Standing from my table, I put my trash in the bin and head back for the rest of my shift.
“Hey, Bell, there’s a guy out in reception looking for you,” Tracy, a fellow nurse says, walking past me.
“Okay, thanks.” I nod and make my way to the reception desk. I’ve been working at Rushford Hospital for the last two years. I love it here. The smaller town hospital means I get a little more hands on than what other nurses get at the hospitals in the city. We work on a rotating roster and so far, emergency is by far my favorite.
“What is this hospital run by beautiful women?” I hear a familiar voice ask before I even take the corner.
“Morning, fuckers.” I walk out to the kitchen the next morning to start my day, flashing my happy-go-fucking-lucky smile.
“What the fuck is good about this morning?” Nix grumbles and I remember the shit he was slurring last night.
“Yeah, what the fuck are you so happy about?” Beau asks, pouring himself a coffee.
“I know.” Holly smiles around a mouthful of toast.
“What would you know?” I accuse, hoping she doesn’t see through my shit.
“I know that smile is extra wide because of who you had in your bed last night.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, Holly?” I move toward the coffee not in the mood to play her guessing game.
“I saw Nurse Bell doing the walk of shame last night.”
What the fuck?
“Nurse Bell?” Sy asks, looking up at his woman.
“Fuck off.” I shake my head thinking she’s fucking with me. That shit didn’t happen.
“Don’t deny it, Jesse.”
“That wasn’t Bell. That was…” I search for her name. “Gretchen. No Grace,” I say finally, remembering the small clumsy woman’s name.
“Jesse, I spoke to her for a few minutes.” She smiles like someone who just showed her trump card. “It was Bell.”
“It wasn’t Bell,” I repeat, forcing myself to try to remember her face. Jesus, fuck, I’m such a fucker I can’t even remember her face.
“It was. She was here with some friends,” Holly argues while I desperately try to remember. “I thought she looked familiar when she walked in,” Holly keeps talking, unaware of my inner turmoil. “She looks so different dressed up,” she says and it clicks.
Holy fuck. It was her. Fuck me, Nurse Bell. I fucked Nurse Bell? The woman who has played hard to get since I met her, the same woman I just kicked out of my bed hours ago.
“Are you okay, Jesse?” Sy asks, picking up on my panic, but I don’t answer. What’s there to say? I don’t even remember fucking her.
Fuck. How could I fuck this up so bad?
Six BELL
“You jerked him off?” Lissy gasps and I know I shouldn’t have done this over the phone. I should have told her last night on our way home from the Knights Rebels’ clubhouse, but I was feeling sorry for myself. I just wanted to get home and shower. I refused to talk about what happened with any of the girls, and when I woke this morning, at Lissy’s house, I snuck home before they could drill me again.
“Ugh, yes.”
“Oh, my God, is he huge? Was it good? What else happened?” She keeps the questions coming, but I don’t answer. I’m too busy playing the night over and over in my head. I knew when Jesse walked up to the blonde I was losing my chance to talk to him. It was like watching him slip through my fingers. I thought my chance was gone, then Lissy managed to get the blonde away, and Jesse crashed into me. I wasn’t expecting him to come on to me. I knew he was drunk. I watched him throw back way too many drinks, but it didn’t stop me from letting him take me to his room. Didn’t stop me from turning back to watch him touch himself. And I definitely didn’t stop myself from touching him. It was as if my body was on autopilot and I had no control.
“Hello, Earth to Bell. What else happened then?” Lissy asks again, breaking my train of thought.
“Nothing.” I keep my answer vague, hoping Lissy will find it boring enough to keep to herself, because the last thing I need is for the others to find out what happened. “You’re no fun, so why didn’t you tell him it was you?” She keeps asking the questions I keep rolling around in my head.
“I don’t know. I thought it would be easier.”
“Did you ask him about Paige?”
“No.”
“Why not?” she pushes¸ and I know she has a point pushing me. Someone has to. I just did what I did, and for what?
“Because he was drunk. He passed out and when he woke up, he kicked me out. Can we not talk about it anymore?” I snap. “I don’t want to relive the moment of him kicking me out again. Once was enough.”
“Bell.”
“Listen, I have to go. My shift starts back in ten.” I look at the clock, wishing my break lasted longer than forty-five minutes.
“Dinner at my house tomorrow. Don’t be late. The Hundred is on,” she responds, letting it go and I’m thankful. I need more time to get my head around what happened last night.
“Yep, how could I forget,” I tease. I know how much she loves our dinner and TV show nights.
“Love you, Bell.”
“Yeah, me too,” I reply and hang up. Standing from my table, I put my trash in the bin and head back for the rest of my shift.
“Hey, Bell, there’s a guy out in reception looking for you,” Tracy, a fellow nurse says, walking past me.
“Okay, thanks.” I nod and make my way to the reception desk. I’ve been working at Rushford Hospital for the last two years. I love it here. The smaller town hospital means I get a little more hands on than what other nurses get at the hospitals in the city. We work on a rotating roster and so far, emergency is by far my favorite.
“What is this hospital run by beautiful women?” I hear a familiar voice ask before I even take the corner.
