Desertion
Page 15
Jesse.
I roll my eyes but don’t stop walking. There’s no point in hiding. They have already told him I’m on tonight. And if I can guess, I know why he’s here.
“Can I help you, Mr. Carter?” I ask before Marla, the young blonde and extremely beautiful nurse, can reply.
“Nurse Bell,” Jesse turns his head my way and his smile slides off his face, “or should I say Grace?” His eyes narrow and my suspicions are correct. He knows. I square my shoulders ready for his anger.
“What are you doing here?” I ignore the twinge of guilt from lying to him.
“We need to talk.” He steps forward and his eyes find my bruised cheek. “Fuck, Bell.” His hand moves to my face.
“Don’t,” I punch out, not ready for his touch. His hand halts mid air; hurt flutters over his face before he quickly hides it. “Not here.” I pull back and motion to a spare exam room. He nods and follows close behind me in silence.
“What do you want, Jesse?” I ask when I close the door behind us. Jesse moves in, backing me against the door. He towers over me, and I have to tilt my head up to keep him in my sight.
“What sort of game are you playing?” he asks, his eyes piercing mine. Long gone is the fun, cheeky man I’m used to with his lame jokes.
“I’m not playing anything.” I swallow my unease, overwhelmed by his presence.
“Grace? What the fuck is that shit?” He waits for my answer but I don’t have one . Shit, he’s right. I was playing a game, a dangerous one.
“It’s my middle name,” I reply, hoping it excuses some of my bullshit, but I know it won’t. I messed up badly.
“Fucking hell, Bell. I fucked you and I didn’t know it was you. Do you know how fucked up this is?”
“Well, first of all, you didn’t fuck me.” I use his crass words back at him and cross my arms in front of me. “And second, it’s not my fault you didn’t recognize me.”
“We didn’t fuck?”
“NO!” I shout, louder than needed. As if my humiliation isn’t enough, I have to convince the man we didn’t have sex.
“Oh, thank God.” He steps back and takes a large breath.
“Geez, don’t sound so relieved,” I quip, the sting of his insult a whiplash, making me recoil.
“Not like that.” He smiles, stepping in closer, his eyes catching my bruised cheek again.
“I did this.” His fingers move to my chin, forcing my face to hit the light.
“No, it was an accident.” I pull out of his hold before I start to like it.
“Bullshit, I know I did it. I remember things.” He shakes his head as if parts of the night are still coming back to him.
“Forget it. It’s no big deal.” I brush the night off, hating how awkward this feels between us.
Jesse’s eyes narrow at my blatant dismissal of the night. “No, I wish I remembered everything, because I know we did something, and it’s a crime to forget whatever we did.” He rests his head to mine and for a moment, we share an intimacy deeper than what happened last night. I don’t respond; instead, I let myself have the moment. What ever is going on between Jesse and me is only a fleeting moment. I won’t let myself get too deep.
“You willing to re-enact it for me, wearing this cute nurse’s outfit?” He breaks the moment. Warmth heats my face, and knowing he can see it, pushes me deeper into a red blush.
“Please, the lines need to stop,” I tell him, secretly liking them more and more. “I have to go back to work.” I try to move, but his body stops me from pushing off the wall.
“Why did you come to the club last night? Dressed like you were?” It’s a chance to tell him all about my plan, about Paige and how he might be able to help, but standing here now, I second-guess everything.
“No reason.” Another lie.
“Don’t lie to me. I want the truth, Bell.”
“It’s stupid. It’s over so forget about it.” I wish it were true, but there is no way I can tell Jesse.
“No, it’s not over. You’re not leaving this room until you tell me.” We hold each other’s stare for what feels like minutes, but in reality, it’s only been seconds before I cave. What’s wrong with me? I’m weak.
“Fine,” I huff. “I wanted to see if I could hire you. I didn’t plan on tricking you. The girls dressed me up, and when you didn’t recognize me, I felt braver talking to you,” I rush out and cringe as confusion etches every inch of his beautiful face.
“Hire me?”
“Hire the Knights Rebels,” I elaborate.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to hire me or any of my brothers.” His smirk is full of confidence and lust, completely not understanding what I meant.
“Not like that, you idiot. I want to hire you to help find my sister.”
“Your sister?” He looks more confused and I know I’m not explaining myself properly.
“Yeah, umm, she’s missing.” The lump, which lives permanently in my throat whenever I talk about Paige, restricts my breathing. “I thought you might be able to help me.”
“We don’t really do that sort of thing, Bell.” He crushes my hope with one sentence.
“It’s just Lissy told me your club helps out people who need it,” I rush out, hoping Lissy didn’t get it wrong.
I roll my eyes but don’t stop walking. There’s no point in hiding. They have already told him I’m on tonight. And if I can guess, I know why he’s here.
“Can I help you, Mr. Carter?” I ask before Marla, the young blonde and extremely beautiful nurse, can reply.
“Nurse Bell,” Jesse turns his head my way and his smile slides off his face, “or should I say Grace?” His eyes narrow and my suspicions are correct. He knows. I square my shoulders ready for his anger.
“What are you doing here?” I ignore the twinge of guilt from lying to him.
“We need to talk.” He steps forward and his eyes find my bruised cheek. “Fuck, Bell.” His hand moves to my face.
“Don’t,” I punch out, not ready for his touch. His hand halts mid air; hurt flutters over his face before he quickly hides it. “Not here.” I pull back and motion to a spare exam room. He nods and follows close behind me in silence.
“What do you want, Jesse?” I ask when I close the door behind us. Jesse moves in, backing me against the door. He towers over me, and I have to tilt my head up to keep him in my sight.
“What sort of game are you playing?” he asks, his eyes piercing mine. Long gone is the fun, cheeky man I’m used to with his lame jokes.
“I’m not playing anything.” I swallow my unease, overwhelmed by his presence.
“Grace? What the fuck is that shit?” He waits for my answer but I don’t have one . Shit, he’s right. I was playing a game, a dangerous one.
“It’s my middle name,” I reply, hoping it excuses some of my bullshit, but I know it won’t. I messed up badly.
“Fucking hell, Bell. I fucked you and I didn’t know it was you. Do you know how fucked up this is?”
“Well, first of all, you didn’t fuck me.” I use his crass words back at him and cross my arms in front of me. “And second, it’s not my fault you didn’t recognize me.”
“We didn’t fuck?”
“NO!” I shout, louder than needed. As if my humiliation isn’t enough, I have to convince the man we didn’t have sex.
“Oh, thank God.” He steps back and takes a large breath.
“Geez, don’t sound so relieved,” I quip, the sting of his insult a whiplash, making me recoil.
“Not like that.” He smiles, stepping in closer, his eyes catching my bruised cheek again.
“I did this.” His fingers move to my chin, forcing my face to hit the light.
“No, it was an accident.” I pull out of his hold before I start to like it.
“Bullshit, I know I did it. I remember things.” He shakes his head as if parts of the night are still coming back to him.
“Forget it. It’s no big deal.” I brush the night off, hating how awkward this feels between us.
Jesse’s eyes narrow at my blatant dismissal of the night. “No, I wish I remembered everything, because I know we did something, and it’s a crime to forget whatever we did.” He rests his head to mine and for a moment, we share an intimacy deeper than what happened last night. I don’t respond; instead, I let myself have the moment. What ever is going on between Jesse and me is only a fleeting moment. I won’t let myself get too deep.
“You willing to re-enact it for me, wearing this cute nurse’s outfit?” He breaks the moment. Warmth heats my face, and knowing he can see it, pushes me deeper into a red blush.
“Please, the lines need to stop,” I tell him, secretly liking them more and more. “I have to go back to work.” I try to move, but his body stops me from pushing off the wall.
“Why did you come to the club last night? Dressed like you were?” It’s a chance to tell him all about my plan, about Paige and how he might be able to help, but standing here now, I second-guess everything.
“No reason.” Another lie.
“Don’t lie to me. I want the truth, Bell.”
“It’s stupid. It’s over so forget about it.” I wish it were true, but there is no way I can tell Jesse.
“No, it’s not over. You’re not leaving this room until you tell me.” We hold each other’s stare for what feels like minutes, but in reality, it’s only been seconds before I cave. What’s wrong with me? I’m weak.
“Fine,” I huff. “I wanted to see if I could hire you. I didn’t plan on tricking you. The girls dressed me up, and when you didn’t recognize me, I felt braver talking to you,” I rush out and cringe as confusion etches every inch of his beautiful face.
“Hire me?”
“Hire the Knights Rebels,” I elaborate.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to hire me or any of my brothers.” His smirk is full of confidence and lust, completely not understanding what I meant.
“Not like that, you idiot. I want to hire you to help find my sister.”
“Your sister?” He looks more confused and I know I’m not explaining myself properly.
“Yeah, umm, she’s missing.” The lump, which lives permanently in my throat whenever I talk about Paige, restricts my breathing. “I thought you might be able to help me.”
“We don’t really do that sort of thing, Bell.” He crushes my hope with one sentence.
“It’s just Lissy told me your club helps out people who need it,” I rush out, hoping Lissy didn’t get it wrong.
