Desertion
Page 17
“He wouldn’t have been around. She went missing six years ago. Never came home from work.” Beau fills him in. “Police think she ran. Family is adamant she didn’t.”
“What’s it got to do with us?” Sy looks between the both of us.
“Bell is Paige’s sister.”
“Bell?”
“Nurse Bell,” Beau explains.
“Oh, I see.” Sy smirks, and I know I’m about to get it.
“You don’t see anything,” I tell him, not in the mood to justify asking for Beau’s help on this.
“You have her in your bed one night, next you got the club in on her shit,” Sy responds.
“You got it twisted, bro.” I hate that he might be right.
“Seems like she’s got you twisted.” I know he’s fucking with me, but he’s wrong. The only thing that’s got me twisted is the fact that Bell’s sister has been missing for six years.
“If we can help her, why shouldn’t we? How would you feel if Holly went missing?” I feel myself getting worked up and I need someone to take it out on.
“Bit different. She’s not some fuck I nailed and kicked out. But I feel ya.”
“Fuck you, Sy.” I get in his face, but he just laughs in mine.
“Relax, bro, just fucking with you.” Sy slaps me on the back but it doesn’t calm me. I might be a player, might want to bury myself in any woman who has a sweet pussy and big tits, but I’m not helping Bell find Paige for those reasons. Aren’t I? Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. I fucking want to say I’m a good guy, the kind of man who would do anything to help find a lost woman, but what is really happening here?
“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Sy taunts and it pisses me off. Fuck, this is what it’s like when I hang shit on them.
“Take a breather, Jesse,” Beau orders, and I nod listening to my VP. “I’ll keep you posted. Got a meet with Tiny this week.”
“Thanks,” I say and move from the bar toward the exit. I have a meet with my brother anyway. I don’t need Sy’s shit. “Later,” I call, not waiting for a reply.
“He’s so doing this for pussy,” I hear Sy say as I turn the corner. I don’t stop to defend myself. He can think what he wants. I might have twisted whatever I needed to twist in order to get Bell to go on a date with me, but had she turned me down, I still would be putting my feelers out. Deep down, when I really think about it, I fucking know that. I also know a date is the last thing this woman needs, but fuck, I can’t help but take what I need. If it were any other woman, I’d agree with Sy. Hell, I know I wouldn’t need to ask for a date or waste the time to take her out and feed her. I’d just bring her back here and fuck her senseless. But with a woman like Bell, I know I need to dig deeper.
So why am I doing it?
Who fucking knows. I’m an asshole. That’s all there is to it.
“You been well?” my older brother Jackson asks an hour later as the waitress places the food down in front of us.
“Yeah, same shit different day.” I shrug, taking a bite of my burger. He nods, taking in my reply before picking up his own burger. The tension between us grows as we eat in silence, neither of us really sure how to talk to each other. I can’t even remember the last time I haven’t felt tension between us. It’s like it’s always been there, and nothing we do, or say takes it away.
“You?” I ask, taking a sip of my drink and wait for his standard reply.
“Busy. Work is crazy.” I nod, holding back an eye roll. Same shit every time. “You speak to Mom lately?” he adds, and I’m not surprised.
“Not for a couple weeks. Why?”
“You know she worries.” He stops eating and levels his stare on me.
“Jackson,” I warn, hating when it always comes back to this. Always back to this shit with my family.
“You need to pull your head out of your ass, Jesse.”
“That’s rich coming from you. Must be fucking lonely up on that high horse of yours.” I drop my burger and sit back. When it comes to our family issues, it always comes back on me. I’m the black sheep of the family, and as much as I love them, fuck, they piss me off.
“Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?” he spits, but I don’t want to hear it today.
“Don’t fucking start, Jackson. It’s not the reason I called to meet up.” I keep my fist clenched under the table. If he keeps up with his fucking attitude, it will connect with his fucking face.
“She worries.” He pushes like I knew he would. It always comes back down to what Mom would think.
“Did she ever worry when he was beating my ass? Putting me down?”
“Don’t start this shit again, Jesse.” He shakes his head. But he doesn’t get it. He didn’t have it like I did. “It’s just the way he is. You know this. He lives by structure. You have to understand, Jesse, all the shit Dad did was years ago. He’s a changed man.”
“I’m a former Marine. I fucking know structure, asshole.” I hate it when he puts it back on what Dad went through. Explaining away his abuse because he saw some fucked-up shit.
“Jesse, the shit he’s seen, dealt with, you know it hasn’t been easy.”
“You don’t think I’ve got shit to deal with? What I lived through hasn’t affected me? I fucking did seven years for him. I fucking lost everything to make him happy. You see the asshole happy? No, ‘cause I’m still a fuck-up to him. Jackson, there’s more than you fucking know, so don’t defend the asshole to me. There’s only so many times he can blame his career for being a shit father.”
“What’s it got to do with us?” Sy looks between the both of us.
“Bell is Paige’s sister.”
“Bell?”
“Nurse Bell,” Beau explains.
“Oh, I see.” Sy smirks, and I know I’m about to get it.
“You don’t see anything,” I tell him, not in the mood to justify asking for Beau’s help on this.
“You have her in your bed one night, next you got the club in on her shit,” Sy responds.
“You got it twisted, bro.” I hate that he might be right.
“Seems like she’s got you twisted.” I know he’s fucking with me, but he’s wrong. The only thing that’s got me twisted is the fact that Bell’s sister has been missing for six years.
“If we can help her, why shouldn’t we? How would you feel if Holly went missing?” I feel myself getting worked up and I need someone to take it out on.
“Bit different. She’s not some fuck I nailed and kicked out. But I feel ya.”
“Fuck you, Sy.” I get in his face, but he just laughs in mine.
“Relax, bro, just fucking with you.” Sy slaps me on the back but it doesn’t calm me. I might be a player, might want to bury myself in any woman who has a sweet pussy and big tits, but I’m not helping Bell find Paige for those reasons. Aren’t I? Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. I fucking want to say I’m a good guy, the kind of man who would do anything to help find a lost woman, but what is really happening here?
“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Sy taunts and it pisses me off. Fuck, this is what it’s like when I hang shit on them.
“Take a breather, Jesse,” Beau orders, and I nod listening to my VP. “I’ll keep you posted. Got a meet with Tiny this week.”
“Thanks,” I say and move from the bar toward the exit. I have a meet with my brother anyway. I don’t need Sy’s shit. “Later,” I call, not waiting for a reply.
“He’s so doing this for pussy,” I hear Sy say as I turn the corner. I don’t stop to defend myself. He can think what he wants. I might have twisted whatever I needed to twist in order to get Bell to go on a date with me, but had she turned me down, I still would be putting my feelers out. Deep down, when I really think about it, I fucking know that. I also know a date is the last thing this woman needs, but fuck, I can’t help but take what I need. If it were any other woman, I’d agree with Sy. Hell, I know I wouldn’t need to ask for a date or waste the time to take her out and feed her. I’d just bring her back here and fuck her senseless. But with a woman like Bell, I know I need to dig deeper.
So why am I doing it?
Who fucking knows. I’m an asshole. That’s all there is to it.
“You been well?” my older brother Jackson asks an hour later as the waitress places the food down in front of us.
“Yeah, same shit different day.” I shrug, taking a bite of my burger. He nods, taking in my reply before picking up his own burger. The tension between us grows as we eat in silence, neither of us really sure how to talk to each other. I can’t even remember the last time I haven’t felt tension between us. It’s like it’s always been there, and nothing we do, or say takes it away.
“You?” I ask, taking a sip of my drink and wait for his standard reply.
“Busy. Work is crazy.” I nod, holding back an eye roll. Same shit every time. “You speak to Mom lately?” he adds, and I’m not surprised.
“Not for a couple weeks. Why?”
“You know she worries.” He stops eating and levels his stare on me.
“Jackson,” I warn, hating when it always comes back to this. Always back to this shit with my family.
“You need to pull your head out of your ass, Jesse.”
“That’s rich coming from you. Must be fucking lonely up on that high horse of yours.” I drop my burger and sit back. When it comes to our family issues, it always comes back on me. I’m the black sheep of the family, and as much as I love them, fuck, they piss me off.
“Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?” he spits, but I don’t want to hear it today.
“Don’t fucking start, Jackson. It’s not the reason I called to meet up.” I keep my fist clenched under the table. If he keeps up with his fucking attitude, it will connect with his fucking face.
“She worries.” He pushes like I knew he would. It always comes back down to what Mom would think.
“Did she ever worry when he was beating my ass? Putting me down?”
“Don’t start this shit again, Jesse.” He shakes his head. But he doesn’t get it. He didn’t have it like I did. “It’s just the way he is. You know this. He lives by structure. You have to understand, Jesse, all the shit Dad did was years ago. He’s a changed man.”
“I’m a former Marine. I fucking know structure, asshole.” I hate it when he puts it back on what Dad went through. Explaining away his abuse because he saw some fucked-up shit.
“Jesse, the shit he’s seen, dealt with, you know it hasn’t been easy.”
“You don’t think I’ve got shit to deal with? What I lived through hasn’t affected me? I fucking did seven years for him. I fucking lost everything to make him happy. You see the asshole happy? No, ‘cause I’m still a fuck-up to him. Jackson, there’s more than you fucking know, so don’t defend the asshole to me. There’s only so many times he can blame his career for being a shit father.”
