Hearts on Air
Page 84
He arched a brow. “No?”
“Well, not anymore,” I allowed.
“What changed?”
I shrugged, not about to get into everything Trev had divulged. “I dunno. I guess after a while you start to see people clearer.”
Callum stared at me for a minute, then slid his sunglasses back on. He cleared his throat as he asked, “So, uh, does Leanne ever talk to you about me?”
I held back a smirk. Was he fishing for info? “Not really.”
His lips flattened in a frown. “Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Just thought you could give me some insight.”
“Into?”
“How she’s feeling about me these days,” he replied and I saw his attention wander across the park to where Leanne was being filmed with Trev and James.
“Ah, I see,” I said, shifting in place. “Well, she doesn’t really talk to me about personal stuff, so I’m not sure I can help you there.”
“I love her, you know,” he blurted, his shoulders sagging. I couldn’t read his eyes with the dark sunglasses covering them, but judging from the tight line of his jaw I guessed he hadn’t exactly meant to say that.
“No, I didn’t know,” I said softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He flinched ever so slightly, not expecting the contact. “Maybe if you told her…”
His scoff cut me off. “I have told her. She doesn’t believe me.”
I paused for a second, thinking that sounded about right. If I were Leanne, I probably wouldn’t believe him either. “Maybe it’s not about telling, but more about showing. If you want her to know you love her, you have to start acting differently. And you definitely have to stop flaunting random hook-ups in her face.”
“I haven’t done that since Brussels.”
I chuckled. “Brussels was only two weeks ago. You’ll have to stick it out longer than that. Show her you’re trustworthy. Sometimes you can portray love with actions far more ways than with words.”
He looked like he was thinking about what I said. I ate the last few bites of my sandwich as we sat in silence. Callum was the one to break it when he said, “I feel awful about what happened in Paris. When I fell.”
His candidness took me off guard. I swallowed and tried to reassure him. “At least no serious harm was done.”
“Yeah well, I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. It can’t have been easy for you seeing Trev fall.”
My throat constricted as I remembered the fear. “No, it’s wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t myself that day.”
“Like I said, no harm, no foul.”
“Cal! Come on, we need everyone for this next shot,” Trev called, looking surprised to see us both sitting together. I shot him a look that said I found it just as weird as he did. Callum wasn’t exactly the type to seek others out, and he’d never taken much of an interest in me in general.
He blew out a breath and stood, dusting off his trousers. “Well, good talk. I better get over there.”
“Sure. And think about what I said, yeah?” I replied, looking up at him with a kind expression.
He nodded and started making his way across the park. I sat in thought for a little while, wondering if things ever would work out with him and Leanne. There was certainly a lot of feelings there, on both ends, but they were that couple who seemed more inclined to self-destruct than reach an understanding.
A few minutes later my phone rang and I pulled it from my bag, thinking it was Karla calling with the good news about the upcoming trip. But when I looked at the screen I didn’t recognise the number. I answered it warily.
“Hello?”
“Reya?”
I sucked in a deep, shocked breath when I recognised the voice. “Paula?”
There was a long silence and I heard a door snick shut. Her voice was hushed when she replied, “Goodness, I’m so sorry about yesterday. You came all this way and how Mamá spoke to you . . .” She drifted off and every muscle in my body tightened. This was the first time we’d talked in years and it felt surreal.
“I didn’t come all this way just for you. I’ve been travelling and happened to be in Madrid . . .”
“Oh,” Paula breathed. “Well, again, I truly feel awful. There’s just no making her see sense sometimes.”
I scoffed at that. “Have you ever tried? I swear, Paula, you’re so scared of our parents they might as well be a pair of culebre.”
Her voice was remorseful. “You know what they’re like.”
“They’re weak,” I spat. “And you’re even weaker for letting them rule your life. When Mamá asked if you wanted to talk to me, I knew you wanted to say yes, but you just told her what she wanted to hear.”
It suddenly struck me that I was glad to be the outcast. If I could choose between my life and Paula’s, even with all the suffering I’d endured, I’d still choose my own every time. The thought was oddly liberating. I never wanted to be the kind of daughter it took to keep my parents happy. I’d rather be free and have no family, than have them and be shackled.
“That’s why I’m calling you now, to make up for it. Samuel feels awful about the whole thing, too,” Paula replied. Wow, was she finally growing a backbone? Then I remembered the sound of the door closing and mentally rolled my eyes.
“So you’re not hiding behind a closed door whispering in case anybody hears you?” I challenged.
I knew I was talking too loud when a couple crewmembers eating lunch a few yards away shot me curious looks. Paula didn’t say anything, but I could hear her anxious breathing on the other end of the line.
I decided there was no point arguing. After all, I’d wanted this for years. I wanted her to get in touch, even though I found her lack of courage, her inability to stand up for what was right, deeply abhorrent. “Look, I’m playing a gig at La Cortina tonight. If you really want to talk, come see me play.”
“I’m not sure if I—”
“Paula, either come or don’t, but this is the only chance you’re going to get.”
With that I hung up, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I talked a good talk, but deep down I hoped like hell she came. I wanted to know my sister again, even if she was a coward when it came to our parents. Maybe I could teach her how to branch out on her own.
“Well, not anymore,” I allowed.
“What changed?”
I shrugged, not about to get into everything Trev had divulged. “I dunno. I guess after a while you start to see people clearer.”
Callum stared at me for a minute, then slid his sunglasses back on. He cleared his throat as he asked, “So, uh, does Leanne ever talk to you about me?”
I held back a smirk. Was he fishing for info? “Not really.”
His lips flattened in a frown. “Oh.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Just thought you could give me some insight.”
“Into?”
“How she’s feeling about me these days,” he replied and I saw his attention wander across the park to where Leanne was being filmed with Trev and James.
“Ah, I see,” I said, shifting in place. “Well, she doesn’t really talk to me about personal stuff, so I’m not sure I can help you there.”
“I love her, you know,” he blurted, his shoulders sagging. I couldn’t read his eyes with the dark sunglasses covering them, but judging from the tight line of his jaw I guessed he hadn’t exactly meant to say that.
“No, I didn’t know,” I said softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He flinched ever so slightly, not expecting the contact. “Maybe if you told her…”
His scoff cut me off. “I have told her. She doesn’t believe me.”
I paused for a second, thinking that sounded about right. If I were Leanne, I probably wouldn’t believe him either. “Maybe it’s not about telling, but more about showing. If you want her to know you love her, you have to start acting differently. And you definitely have to stop flaunting random hook-ups in her face.”
“I haven’t done that since Brussels.”
I chuckled. “Brussels was only two weeks ago. You’ll have to stick it out longer than that. Show her you’re trustworthy. Sometimes you can portray love with actions far more ways than with words.”
He looked like he was thinking about what I said. I ate the last few bites of my sandwich as we sat in silence. Callum was the one to break it when he said, “I feel awful about what happened in Paris. When I fell.”
His candidness took me off guard. I swallowed and tried to reassure him. “At least no serious harm was done.”
“Yeah well, I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. It can’t have been easy for you seeing Trev fall.”
My throat constricted as I remembered the fear. “No, it’s wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t myself that day.”
“Like I said, no harm, no foul.”
“Cal! Come on, we need everyone for this next shot,” Trev called, looking surprised to see us both sitting together. I shot him a look that said I found it just as weird as he did. Callum wasn’t exactly the type to seek others out, and he’d never taken much of an interest in me in general.
He blew out a breath and stood, dusting off his trousers. “Well, good talk. I better get over there.”
“Sure. And think about what I said, yeah?” I replied, looking up at him with a kind expression.
He nodded and started making his way across the park. I sat in thought for a little while, wondering if things ever would work out with him and Leanne. There was certainly a lot of feelings there, on both ends, but they were that couple who seemed more inclined to self-destruct than reach an understanding.
A few minutes later my phone rang and I pulled it from my bag, thinking it was Karla calling with the good news about the upcoming trip. But when I looked at the screen I didn’t recognise the number. I answered it warily.
“Hello?”
“Reya?”
I sucked in a deep, shocked breath when I recognised the voice. “Paula?”
There was a long silence and I heard a door snick shut. Her voice was hushed when she replied, “Goodness, I’m so sorry about yesterday. You came all this way and how Mamá spoke to you . . .” She drifted off and every muscle in my body tightened. This was the first time we’d talked in years and it felt surreal.
“I didn’t come all this way just for you. I’ve been travelling and happened to be in Madrid . . .”
“Oh,” Paula breathed. “Well, again, I truly feel awful. There’s just no making her see sense sometimes.”
I scoffed at that. “Have you ever tried? I swear, Paula, you’re so scared of our parents they might as well be a pair of culebre.”
Her voice was remorseful. “You know what they’re like.”
“They’re weak,” I spat. “And you’re even weaker for letting them rule your life. When Mamá asked if you wanted to talk to me, I knew you wanted to say yes, but you just told her what she wanted to hear.”
It suddenly struck me that I was glad to be the outcast. If I could choose between my life and Paula’s, even with all the suffering I’d endured, I’d still choose my own every time. The thought was oddly liberating. I never wanted to be the kind of daughter it took to keep my parents happy. I’d rather be free and have no family, than have them and be shackled.
“That’s why I’m calling you now, to make up for it. Samuel feels awful about the whole thing, too,” Paula replied. Wow, was she finally growing a backbone? Then I remembered the sound of the door closing and mentally rolled my eyes.
“So you’re not hiding behind a closed door whispering in case anybody hears you?” I challenged.
I knew I was talking too loud when a couple crewmembers eating lunch a few yards away shot me curious looks. Paula didn’t say anything, but I could hear her anxious breathing on the other end of the line.
I decided there was no point arguing. After all, I’d wanted this for years. I wanted her to get in touch, even though I found her lack of courage, her inability to stand up for what was right, deeply abhorrent. “Look, I’m playing a gig at La Cortina tonight. If you really want to talk, come see me play.”
“I’m not sure if I—”
“Paula, either come or don’t, but this is the only chance you’re going to get.”
With that I hung up, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I talked a good talk, but deep down I hoped like hell she came. I wanted to know my sister again, even if she was a coward when it came to our parents. Maybe I could teach her how to branch out on her own.
