If I Die
Page 20
My pulse roared in my ears. Id seen him shirtless a million times, but never like this. Never with such a storm of need and blatant lust churning in his eyes, so hot that smoke shouldve been rising off his skin. Never with the understanding that we werent going to stop there.
I was already out of breath when Nash stepped back and his scalding gaze met mine. He lifted one brow in silent question, and when I nodded, he slid his hands beneath my shirt, warm against my sides. His hands skimmed up my skin slowly, dragging the material with them, leaving chills in their wake. I raised my arms and he pulled the shirt over my head.
I didnt see where my shirt fell because he was kissing me again, and his arms wrapped around me. My bra pulled tight for a minute, and I gasped against his lips when the material suddenly fell to the floor between us. Then we were chest to chest, skin to skin. For the first time.
At least, that I remembered
But I pushed that thought away. So what if hed already been this far with me before, when I wasnt in possession of my own body? That nonmemory didnt matter anymore, right? Thanks to my truncated lifeline, nothing mattered anymore, except how I spent the next five days. And I wasnt going to spend them being ruled by fear.
I pulled Nash down for another kiss, the only reliable cure for encroaching panic. His hands fell away from me, and a moment later we were on the bed, and his pants were gone, though I had no memory of that happening.
I lay back on the pillow and closed my eyes, and the world was reduced to his lips, and hands, and a flood of sensations that were nothing like Id imagined, yet somehow even better. I got lost in the feel of himeverywhere all at onceand only found myself when he unbuttoned my jeans.
Startled, in spite of my own intentions, I sat up, and his hands fell away again. Nash studied my surely churning irises, watching me closely. You want to stop? He would take no chances this time, and that meant the world to me.
No. My voice was a shaky whisper. Dont stop.
He smileda burst of heat before the flames rolled over meand I lay back again, staring at that crack in my ceiling as he slowly slid my pants over my hips, leaving my underwear in place. For now.
This is going to happen. My choice. I wanted it.
But when Nashs face appeared over mine, his weight settling onto me gently, I couldnt breathe. He was naked. Completely.
You okay? he whispered, kissing the sensitive skin below my left ear.
Yeah. Yes. I nodded, just in case I wasnt clear, running my hands over his chest.
He kissed me again, and his knee slid slowly between mine. I listened to my heart pound in my ears, wondering if he could hear it. Wondering if he could feel it.
His lips traveled south of my collarbone and I threw my head back, and
Someone knocked on my bedroom door.
I sucked in a cold, shocked breath. Nash rolled off me and sat up,breathing too fast. Already reaching for his pants. I flipped the edge of my comforter up to cover myself, my face flaming. Thursday be damned, my dad was going to kill me now.
Right after he killed Nash.
Just a second! I yelled, then I held one finger to my lips, warning Nash to be quiet. Saying I was an adult for the next five days didnt mean my father was going to play along with my decision. Or that Nash would live long enough to see me die.
Its me, a voice called from the hallway, and Nash threw his pants at the floor instead of pulling them on.
Tod, get the hell out of here before I kill you myself, he growled. And this time, you wont be coming back.
I need to talk to Kaylee. Tods syllables were bitten off, like he was speaking through clenched teeth. Just be glad Im not her dad. You guys arent exactly stealthy.
Were not in the mood to talk. Nash sat on the edge of my bed and slid one arm around my bare back while I clutched the covers to my chest, mortified beyond speech.
Its important, Tod said through the door. Get dressed. Im coming in.
Damn it! Nash swore, pawing through the tangle of material on the floor for his boxer briefs. I stood and scanned the room for my clothes, and Nash spat profanities at his brother while I fastened my bra and pulled my shirt over my head.
Times up, Tod said, and an instant later he appeared at the foot of my bed. He glanced at me long enough to realize I wasnt wearing pants, then turned around while I pulled them on.
What the hell is wrong with you? Nash snapped. He bent to pick up his pants again, then straightened, his gaze narrowed on Tod in anger and suspicion. How did you know to knock? Nash demanded, and my cheeks flamed like hot coals when I followed his logic. You usually just blink into the room, right? How did you know not to this time?
I zipped my pants and Tod turned to me, dismissing his half-naked brother. Sorry, Kay. I wouldnt be here if it wasnt important.
Whats wrong? I couldnt manage any more than that as I pushed hair back from my face, trying to pretend he hadnt just seen me in my underwear.
I got your reapers name. He glanced at the ground for a moment before meeting my gaze again, and I felt my heart stop. Its him, Kaylee. The same one as before. Theyre bringing in the reaper who killed your mom.
Does my dad know? I stared at the kitchen floor, trying to wrap my brain around the facts. Minutes earlier, Id been seconds away from losing my virginity and concerned with nothing else. Now I sat at the kitchen table, virginity frustratingly intact, embarrassed beyond belief, and suddenly scared of my approaching death for a whole new reason.
I was already out of breath when Nash stepped back and his scalding gaze met mine. He lifted one brow in silent question, and when I nodded, he slid his hands beneath my shirt, warm against my sides. His hands skimmed up my skin slowly, dragging the material with them, leaving chills in their wake. I raised my arms and he pulled the shirt over my head.
I didnt see where my shirt fell because he was kissing me again, and his arms wrapped around me. My bra pulled tight for a minute, and I gasped against his lips when the material suddenly fell to the floor between us. Then we were chest to chest, skin to skin. For the first time.
At least, that I remembered
But I pushed that thought away. So what if hed already been this far with me before, when I wasnt in possession of my own body? That nonmemory didnt matter anymore, right? Thanks to my truncated lifeline, nothing mattered anymore, except how I spent the next five days. And I wasnt going to spend them being ruled by fear.
I pulled Nash down for another kiss, the only reliable cure for encroaching panic. His hands fell away from me, and a moment later we were on the bed, and his pants were gone, though I had no memory of that happening.
I lay back on the pillow and closed my eyes, and the world was reduced to his lips, and hands, and a flood of sensations that were nothing like Id imagined, yet somehow even better. I got lost in the feel of himeverywhere all at onceand only found myself when he unbuttoned my jeans.
Startled, in spite of my own intentions, I sat up, and his hands fell away again. Nash studied my surely churning irises, watching me closely. You want to stop? He would take no chances this time, and that meant the world to me.
No. My voice was a shaky whisper. Dont stop.
He smileda burst of heat before the flames rolled over meand I lay back again, staring at that crack in my ceiling as he slowly slid my pants over my hips, leaving my underwear in place. For now.
This is going to happen. My choice. I wanted it.
But when Nashs face appeared over mine, his weight settling onto me gently, I couldnt breathe. He was naked. Completely.
You okay? he whispered, kissing the sensitive skin below my left ear.
Yeah. Yes. I nodded, just in case I wasnt clear, running my hands over his chest.
He kissed me again, and his knee slid slowly between mine. I listened to my heart pound in my ears, wondering if he could hear it. Wondering if he could feel it.
His lips traveled south of my collarbone and I threw my head back, and
Someone knocked on my bedroom door.
I sucked in a cold, shocked breath. Nash rolled off me and sat up,breathing too fast. Already reaching for his pants. I flipped the edge of my comforter up to cover myself, my face flaming. Thursday be damned, my dad was going to kill me now.
Right after he killed Nash.
Just a second! I yelled, then I held one finger to my lips, warning Nash to be quiet. Saying I was an adult for the next five days didnt mean my father was going to play along with my decision. Or that Nash would live long enough to see me die.
Its me, a voice called from the hallway, and Nash threw his pants at the floor instead of pulling them on.
Tod, get the hell out of here before I kill you myself, he growled. And this time, you wont be coming back.
I need to talk to Kaylee. Tods syllables were bitten off, like he was speaking through clenched teeth. Just be glad Im not her dad. You guys arent exactly stealthy.
Were not in the mood to talk. Nash sat on the edge of my bed and slid one arm around my bare back while I clutched the covers to my chest, mortified beyond speech.
Its important, Tod said through the door. Get dressed. Im coming in.
Damn it! Nash swore, pawing through the tangle of material on the floor for his boxer briefs. I stood and scanned the room for my clothes, and Nash spat profanities at his brother while I fastened my bra and pulled my shirt over my head.
Times up, Tod said, and an instant later he appeared at the foot of my bed. He glanced at me long enough to realize I wasnt wearing pants, then turned around while I pulled them on.
What the hell is wrong with you? Nash snapped. He bent to pick up his pants again, then straightened, his gaze narrowed on Tod in anger and suspicion. How did you know to knock? Nash demanded, and my cheeks flamed like hot coals when I followed his logic. You usually just blink into the room, right? How did you know not to this time?
I zipped my pants and Tod turned to me, dismissing his half-naked brother. Sorry, Kay. I wouldnt be here if it wasnt important.
Whats wrong? I couldnt manage any more than that as I pushed hair back from my face, trying to pretend he hadnt just seen me in my underwear.
I got your reapers name. He glanced at the ground for a moment before meeting my gaze again, and I felt my heart stop. Its him, Kaylee. The same one as before. Theyre bringing in the reaper who killed your mom.
Does my dad know? I stared at the kitchen floor, trying to wrap my brain around the facts. Minutes earlier, Id been seconds away from losing my virginity and concerned with nothing else. Now I sat at the kitchen table, virginity frustratingly intact, embarrassed beyond belief, and suddenly scared of my approaching death for a whole new reason.
