If I Die
Page 6
In general, thats true my father began, but Tod cut him off, sporting a characteristic dark grin.
But you seem to be the exception to so many rules, why should this one be any different?
Does that mean you want me to suffer through anticipation? I asked, hoping Id misinterpreted that part.
No. My dad shook his head. It means that forewarned is forearmed. We couldnt have fought this if we didnt know it was coming.
Were going to fight this? That possibility hadnt occurred to me. I mean, someone had already fought that battle for me once, and won. Id been saved, at the expense of my mothers life. As badly as I wanted to live, it hardly seemed fair for me to cheat death again. No one else I knew had even had one second chance, much less two.
Then there was the other problem. The big one: extending my lifelineagainwould mean killing someone else instead. Again. And I couldnt live with that.
Of course were going to fight it! my dad insisted. There are ways around death, at least temporarily. We know that better than anyone. Weve done it, once.
Thats the problem, Tod said softly, his grin notably absent. One of them, anyway.
My father scowled at the reaper. What does that mean?
The rules are very clear about second extensions. He hesitated, and I heard what he was going to say next before he even formed the words. There are none.
For a long moment, there was only silence, and the deep, cold terror that settled into my chest was like hands of ice massaging my heart. In spite of my determination not to let anyone else pay for my continued existence, the death of that possibility echoed into eternity, like no fear Id ever felt.
There have to be exceptions, my father insisted, as usual, the first to recover his voice after severe systemic shock. There are always exceptions.
Tod shook his head slowly, and a single unruly blond curl fell over his forehead. Not for this. I already asked around, andwell, it just doesnt happen. It cant.
But youre a reaper! My dad stood, his voice thundering throughout the room. I felt like I should do something. Make him stop yelling, or at least try to calm him down. What good are you if you cant even help out a friend?
Dad I protested, uncomfortably aware that hed never referred to Tod as a friend before. But I guess thats what they say about desperate times
Kaylee, this is your life were talking about, my father said, and a chill raced through me when I realized his hands were shaking. Were not going to let this happen. Well do whatever it takes. Ill do whatever it takes.
And suddenly I understood what he was saying. Hed tried to give me his lifeline before, and hed do it again without a second thought.
No, Dad I whispered, fear and shock rendering my voice a pathetic whisper.
My father ignored me and turned to look at Tod. But I cant do it without help. The blues in my dads eyes churned with desperation, the strongest emotion Id ever seen displayed there, and I was only seeing it now because he couldnt hide it. Hed lost control, and that scared me more than anything. Please, Tod. My dad sank onto the opposite end of the couch, elbows on his knees, scrubbing his face with both hands. Im begging you. Ill do whatever you want. Please make an exception for my daughter.
Tod looked almost as stunned as I felt. Id never heard my father beg for anything, not even for his own life, when Avari dragged him into the Netherworld, using him to get to me.
Mr. Cavanaugh, Id do it in a heartbeat. Tod looked so earnest and frustrated that I wanted to comfort him. Especially when he turned those sad blue eyes on me, silently begging me to believe him. Kaylee, Id do it if I could. You know that. But its not up to me. Im not your reaper.
For one surreal moment, I wasnt sure whether to be relieved or upset about that.
They dont let rookies reap under special circumstances. Theyll call in an expert. I dont even know what zone youre actually supposed to be in whenwhen it happens, he finished miserably.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to process everything Id just heard. Trying to push past the tangle of frighteningly useless words and grasp something I could actually use. Who? I said at last. Who will they bring in? Libby?
Libitina was the dark reaperone of the oldest in existencewhod come to execute Addisons death and dispose of the Demons Breath that had kept her alive in place of the soul shed sold. Libby had done what she could to help us return Addys soul, but in the end, shed also done her job. Shed taken Addisons life and damned her disembodied soul to eternal torture.
I wouldnt find leeway with Libitina.
I dont know, Tod said. If the reapers been chosen, I havent heard about it.
But at least I wouldnt have to worry about Tod killing me, which seemed like an odd thing to be grateful for.
How? I set the sweating soda can on the end table and clasped my hands in my lap to keep them from shaking. Do you know how itll happen? I asked, not sure that I really wanted to know. Knowing too much could make me paranoidwould I walk around staring up to avoid anvils falling from the sky?
But you seem to be the exception to so many rules, why should this one be any different?
Does that mean you want me to suffer through anticipation? I asked, hoping Id misinterpreted that part.
No. My dad shook his head. It means that forewarned is forearmed. We couldnt have fought this if we didnt know it was coming.
Were going to fight this? That possibility hadnt occurred to me. I mean, someone had already fought that battle for me once, and won. Id been saved, at the expense of my mothers life. As badly as I wanted to live, it hardly seemed fair for me to cheat death again. No one else I knew had even had one second chance, much less two.
Then there was the other problem. The big one: extending my lifelineagainwould mean killing someone else instead. Again. And I couldnt live with that.
Of course were going to fight it! my dad insisted. There are ways around death, at least temporarily. We know that better than anyone. Weve done it, once.
Thats the problem, Tod said softly, his grin notably absent. One of them, anyway.
My father scowled at the reaper. What does that mean?
The rules are very clear about second extensions. He hesitated, and I heard what he was going to say next before he even formed the words. There are none.
For a long moment, there was only silence, and the deep, cold terror that settled into my chest was like hands of ice massaging my heart. In spite of my determination not to let anyone else pay for my continued existence, the death of that possibility echoed into eternity, like no fear Id ever felt.
There have to be exceptions, my father insisted, as usual, the first to recover his voice after severe systemic shock. There are always exceptions.
Tod shook his head slowly, and a single unruly blond curl fell over his forehead. Not for this. I already asked around, andwell, it just doesnt happen. It cant.
But youre a reaper! My dad stood, his voice thundering throughout the room. I felt like I should do something. Make him stop yelling, or at least try to calm him down. What good are you if you cant even help out a friend?
Dad I protested, uncomfortably aware that hed never referred to Tod as a friend before. But I guess thats what they say about desperate times
Kaylee, this is your life were talking about, my father said, and a chill raced through me when I realized his hands were shaking. Were not going to let this happen. Well do whatever it takes. Ill do whatever it takes.
And suddenly I understood what he was saying. Hed tried to give me his lifeline before, and hed do it again without a second thought.
No, Dad I whispered, fear and shock rendering my voice a pathetic whisper.
My father ignored me and turned to look at Tod. But I cant do it without help. The blues in my dads eyes churned with desperation, the strongest emotion Id ever seen displayed there, and I was only seeing it now because he couldnt hide it. Hed lost control, and that scared me more than anything. Please, Tod. My dad sank onto the opposite end of the couch, elbows on his knees, scrubbing his face with both hands. Im begging you. Ill do whatever you want. Please make an exception for my daughter.
Tod looked almost as stunned as I felt. Id never heard my father beg for anything, not even for his own life, when Avari dragged him into the Netherworld, using him to get to me.
Mr. Cavanaugh, Id do it in a heartbeat. Tod looked so earnest and frustrated that I wanted to comfort him. Especially when he turned those sad blue eyes on me, silently begging me to believe him. Kaylee, Id do it if I could. You know that. But its not up to me. Im not your reaper.
For one surreal moment, I wasnt sure whether to be relieved or upset about that.
They dont let rookies reap under special circumstances. Theyll call in an expert. I dont even know what zone youre actually supposed to be in whenwhen it happens, he finished miserably.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to process everything Id just heard. Trying to push past the tangle of frighteningly useless words and grasp something I could actually use. Who? I said at last. Who will they bring in? Libby?
Libitina was the dark reaperone of the oldest in existencewhod come to execute Addisons death and dispose of the Demons Breath that had kept her alive in place of the soul shed sold. Libby had done what she could to help us return Addys soul, but in the end, shed also done her job. Shed taken Addisons life and damned her disembodied soul to eternal torture.
I wouldnt find leeway with Libitina.
I dont know, Tod said. If the reapers been chosen, I havent heard about it.
But at least I wouldnt have to worry about Tod killing me, which seemed like an odd thing to be grateful for.
How? I set the sweating soda can on the end table and clasped my hands in my lap to keep them from shaking. Do you know how itll happen? I asked, not sure that I really wanted to know. Knowing too much could make me paranoidwould I walk around staring up to avoid anvils falling from the sky?
