Never Enough
Page 95
Gillian shook her head and blubbered like an idiot.
“You can work this out. He was wrong to jump to conclusions but we know he’s got that thing about reporters.”
“What about her thing about being humiliated in public?” Jules countered Mary’s statement.
“This isn’t a bloody contest! I ripped his family apart and then he fell back to his original position about me. All this started because I sang well! We got into a tiff about it, or rather he was pissy and I wanted to just leave. But if I’d told him about my father, the stuff that happened with the reporter wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as much.
“He doesn’t trust me. He thinks I have to be with him every minute of the day and tell him every horrible thing in my past to be trustworthy, and I can’t. I can’t do that and I don’t want to. Part of it is my fault. I own it. I should have told him.”
She stood and they hovered around her. She was just totally and completely exhausted by everything. The truth about her father was out and she realized holding it in had been weighing on her heavily. She should have told him. She could own it and whatever damage she’d done. She’d sent an apology letter to Erin and arrange to be out of the house when Adrian was there with Miles.
“I’ll have to find a way to tell Miles.” She breathed out. She’d never told him either. Had simply said her father was a criminal and that she hadn’t seen him since she was younger than he was now.
“Not tonight, though.” Mary ran her hands up and down Gillian’s arms. “Why don’t you come back to my place and stay? I’ll have Ryan run over and pick Miles up in the morning and I’ll make everyone crepes.”
“I must be in pretty bad shape for you to offer to make crepes.”
“You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re the one who is always together and strong. It makes me want to punch him in the nose.” Jules hugged her.
“Come back to my house. I’ll even watch something that’ll skeeve me out like The Ring. We’ll have a slumber party, just us girls.” Mary smiled hopefully.
She shook her head. “I need to be alone.”
They both looked so worried she took their hands in hers. “I’ll survive. It hurts like hell. I can’t regret loving him and believing in my happily ever after, even if I’ll miss it.”
“Are you sure it’s over? Gillian, he loves you. I know this. I believe it with all my heart. You two bicker all the time. How can this fight be any different?” Mary brushed the hair from Gillian’s eyes.
“Because it is. I can feel it. Before we weren’t disagreeing about the final outcome. Not really. This is not the same. He feels betrayed, and part of it is real because it has everything to do with his distrust of outsiders for doing exactly this.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Jules looked miserable.
“You’re going to have to. I need a bath. I need some gin and I need some sleep. I have to get this dealt with and gone before Miles comes home tomorrow morning. Adrian and I started this relationship, so we can’t just break up and not expect him to notice. It has to stay civil and not involve him at all.”
“I’m coming by in the morning with the makings for crepes and you can’t stop me.” Mary sniffed.
Jules nodded. “I’ll bring coffee.”
“You have a shop to open in the morning.” Gillian shooed them both to the door. “I’ll call you both later. Thank you for the ride and for the shoulder to cry on. I’ll be all right. I just need a long cry with the blankets over my head.”
She locked up, including the dead bolts she never threw if she was expecting Adrian to visit—because she didn’t have an extra key for those locks, which meant he had no way to get in if she used them.
She headed to the shower and gave in to tears again. The last few months had been the best of her entire life. She couldn’t regret loving Adrian Brown. Even right at that moment she couldn’t regret it. He’d filled her life with so much.
She cried and cried some more, standing there and feeling horrible until the water started to run cold and forced her out. The gin had hit enough to have taken the edge off the pain, but it was still there.
All she wanted was to get under the covers and go to sleep so she wouldn’t have to experience this anymore. But she couldn’t sleep. She needed something else, so she turned to go back downstairs to her piano.
Adrian slumped home. Empty. He’d meant that night to be a new step and it had started off so well. With a sigh he decided to work awhile. Why not? He turned his computer on, cracked a beer and sifted through e-mail.
Brody’s words echoed through his head.
Erin’s face as the reporter had yelled out his question to her also echoed through his head. The hurt of it, of wanting more of Gillian and getting it in the way he had, sliced through him.
Miles’s e-mail address caught his attention. That was good. His boy was good, damn it. He opened it to find an attachment and a note.
Hey, Dad!
I forgot to send this to you earlier this week but we were just goofing around and I saw it on my phone. Just some video Mum took of us. I told you we would nail it after some more practice. Thanks for all the help.
See you soon. Mum says we’re all hanging out this weekend.
Miles
He clicked and watched his son and his band come to life. They played all the way through “Creep” pretty damned well, especially Miles. The boy was a natural, no doubt about it.
“You can work this out. He was wrong to jump to conclusions but we know he’s got that thing about reporters.”
“What about her thing about being humiliated in public?” Jules countered Mary’s statement.
“This isn’t a bloody contest! I ripped his family apart and then he fell back to his original position about me. All this started because I sang well! We got into a tiff about it, or rather he was pissy and I wanted to just leave. But if I’d told him about my father, the stuff that happened with the reporter wouldn’t have hurt him nearly as much.
“He doesn’t trust me. He thinks I have to be with him every minute of the day and tell him every horrible thing in my past to be trustworthy, and I can’t. I can’t do that and I don’t want to. Part of it is my fault. I own it. I should have told him.”
She stood and they hovered around her. She was just totally and completely exhausted by everything. The truth about her father was out and she realized holding it in had been weighing on her heavily. She should have told him. She could own it and whatever damage she’d done. She’d sent an apology letter to Erin and arrange to be out of the house when Adrian was there with Miles.
“I’ll have to find a way to tell Miles.” She breathed out. She’d never told him either. Had simply said her father was a criminal and that she hadn’t seen him since she was younger than he was now.
“Not tonight, though.” Mary ran her hands up and down Gillian’s arms. “Why don’t you come back to my place and stay? I’ll have Ryan run over and pick Miles up in the morning and I’ll make everyone crepes.”
“I must be in pretty bad shape for you to offer to make crepes.”
“You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re the one who is always together and strong. It makes me want to punch him in the nose.” Jules hugged her.
“Come back to my house. I’ll even watch something that’ll skeeve me out like The Ring. We’ll have a slumber party, just us girls.” Mary smiled hopefully.
She shook her head. “I need to be alone.”
They both looked so worried she took their hands in hers. “I’ll survive. It hurts like hell. I can’t regret loving him and believing in my happily ever after, even if I’ll miss it.”
“Are you sure it’s over? Gillian, he loves you. I know this. I believe it with all my heart. You two bicker all the time. How can this fight be any different?” Mary brushed the hair from Gillian’s eyes.
“Because it is. I can feel it. Before we weren’t disagreeing about the final outcome. Not really. This is not the same. He feels betrayed, and part of it is real because it has everything to do with his distrust of outsiders for doing exactly this.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone.” Jules looked miserable.
“You’re going to have to. I need a bath. I need some gin and I need some sleep. I have to get this dealt with and gone before Miles comes home tomorrow morning. Adrian and I started this relationship, so we can’t just break up and not expect him to notice. It has to stay civil and not involve him at all.”
“I’m coming by in the morning with the makings for crepes and you can’t stop me.” Mary sniffed.
Jules nodded. “I’ll bring coffee.”
“You have a shop to open in the morning.” Gillian shooed them both to the door. “I’ll call you both later. Thank you for the ride and for the shoulder to cry on. I’ll be all right. I just need a long cry with the blankets over my head.”
She locked up, including the dead bolts she never threw if she was expecting Adrian to visit—because she didn’t have an extra key for those locks, which meant he had no way to get in if she used them.
She headed to the shower and gave in to tears again. The last few months had been the best of her entire life. She couldn’t regret loving Adrian Brown. Even right at that moment she couldn’t regret it. He’d filled her life with so much.
She cried and cried some more, standing there and feeling horrible until the water started to run cold and forced her out. The gin had hit enough to have taken the edge off the pain, but it was still there.
All she wanted was to get under the covers and go to sleep so she wouldn’t have to experience this anymore. But she couldn’t sleep. She needed something else, so she turned to go back downstairs to her piano.
Adrian slumped home. Empty. He’d meant that night to be a new step and it had started off so well. With a sigh he decided to work awhile. Why not? He turned his computer on, cracked a beer and sifted through e-mail.
Brody’s words echoed through his head.
Erin’s face as the reporter had yelled out his question to her also echoed through his head. The hurt of it, of wanting more of Gillian and getting it in the way he had, sliced through him.
Miles’s e-mail address caught his attention. That was good. His boy was good, damn it. He opened it to find an attachment and a note.
Hey, Dad!
I forgot to send this to you earlier this week but we were just goofing around and I saw it on my phone. Just some video Mum took of us. I told you we would nail it after some more practice. Thanks for all the help.
See you soon. Mum says we’re all hanging out this weekend.
Miles
He clicked and watched his son and his band come to life. They played all the way through “Creep” pretty damned well, especially Miles. The boy was a natural, no doubt about it.
