Reckless Love
Page 42
Holy fuck! I returned to the guest bedroom on shaky legs, my soaked panties and racing heart reminding me of the very dangerous game I was playing.
Thirty-Four
Ian
Kenzie was making me lose my fucking shit.
She could be so sweet. The way she stepped in and found the place for Sophia, even going so far as to pack a bag for her and insist on coming along for the drive to the treatment center. And then later at my place, when she let me hold her and pull her in for the kiss, it felt so right that I was sure she felt it too. Her sweet taste and the hunger in her eyes when she looked at me, those were the memories that played in my head as I finally fell asleep.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I really thought about what she’d said. Not right now.
Why the fuck not? Sure, she thought she was a distraction, but being away from her was so much worse. I got up, threw on some shorts, and marched back down the hall to the guest bedroom to confront her. I was going to make her understand. We didn’t have to wait.
But the door hung open, the bed was made, and she was gone. Not even a hint remained that she’d ever been here.
When I got to the gym, MacKenzie was there, but she was never alone. If she wasn’t talking with one of the guys, Chris was hovering somewhere nearby.
During our afternoon session, Chris seemed to be watching us the whole time. That, and she had me doing my exercises within earshot of several of the other guys, which made talking to her impossible. What really fucked me up, though, was how cold she’d become. It was such a complete turnaround from the way she’d been the night before, it was driving me nuts.
“Three sets of twelve with the sixties, please.” Her voice was monotone. She pointed at the weight, refusing to look me in the eyes.
I bent down into her line of vision as I picked up the weight and tried to catch her eye, but she averted her gaze again.
Son of a bitch.
Behind her, Chris headed into his office. We were just out of sight of the one-way mirror, so I took advantage of the opportunity, shelved the weight, threw Kenzie over my shoulder, and headed out back to the alley.
“Ian, put me down,” she demanded. “What are you doing?” She twisted and squirmed, trying to get me to release her, but she was so small I could easily maintain control. Her attempts were futile. I was going to get her alone to talk to her, whether she wanted to or not.
“We need to talk,” I said as I kicked open the back door and stepped outside.
“You can’t do this, it’s kidnapping. Let me go,” she said, her voice filled with irritation.
I headed a bit farther down the alleyway before finally setting her feet on the ground.
She straightened out her clothes, then put her hands on her hips. Her gaze darted briefly to mine, then she focused her hateful glare at the wall behind me. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Don’t give me that. There’s something between us. You feel it; I know you do. Last night you said you just wanted to wait until my fight was over, but I don’t want to wait. Because waiting for you is a worse distraction than being with you could ever be. Break up with Chris. I don’t care what he does. He can beat the crap out of me. You don’t like him; you don’t even want to fuck him.” I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself. “But you and I both know that’s not the case with me. You want me. I see it in your eyes.”
MacKenzie looked down at the ground and shook her head. “No, I don’t.” Her response was almost a whisper, but her words stung.
She couldn’t mean them. I stepped closer and lifted her chin. Her eyes darted around, only meeting mine briefly. What was she hiding?
“Bullshit,” I said, barely keeping my voice under control. “What’s changed?”
“What?”
“You heard me. What’s changed? Last night when I kissed you, you kissed back. You said we had to wait until my fight was over. Now I’m saying I don’t want to wait. I can’t wait. I need you now. And you won’t even look me in the eye. So, what has changed?”
“Ian, I’m sorry about last night. I wish it hadn’t happened that way, but you have to remember, I was exhausted. We’d been driving all night, and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.” Her eyes lifted to mine, and they were filled with pain.
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I want to be with Chris, and you have to let me. I was weak last night. I slipped. It won’t happen again.”
“But why?” God, if she really did want to be with him, of course I would let her, but I couldn’t see it. There was no way he was right for her.
“Chris is a good guy. He’s someone…” MacKenzie paused and swallowed. “Someone who would stick around, and make a good husband one day.” She looked away, then dropped her gaze to the ground.
I rubbed my hand over my hair. What she said almost made sense, but I wasn’t buying it.
“You want me.” I closed the distance between us, cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her lips gently. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t kiss me back either. Instead, a small sob escaped, and I pulled away to see tears escaping her closed eyes.
Shit. What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to hurt this girl. Not ever.
I took a step back and lifted my hands in apology. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t…” MacKenzie’s voice shook, and she took a breath. “I don’t think you need our sessions anymore. Your shoulder is fully healed. You’ve been fighting at full strength for a week now.”
Thirty-Four
Ian
Kenzie was making me lose my fucking shit.
She could be so sweet. The way she stepped in and found the place for Sophia, even going so far as to pack a bag for her and insist on coming along for the drive to the treatment center. And then later at my place, when she let me hold her and pull her in for the kiss, it felt so right that I was sure she felt it too. Her sweet taste and the hunger in her eyes when she looked at me, those were the memories that played in my head as I finally fell asleep.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I really thought about what she’d said. Not right now.
Why the fuck not? Sure, she thought she was a distraction, but being away from her was so much worse. I got up, threw on some shorts, and marched back down the hall to the guest bedroom to confront her. I was going to make her understand. We didn’t have to wait.
But the door hung open, the bed was made, and she was gone. Not even a hint remained that she’d ever been here.
When I got to the gym, MacKenzie was there, but she was never alone. If she wasn’t talking with one of the guys, Chris was hovering somewhere nearby.
During our afternoon session, Chris seemed to be watching us the whole time. That, and she had me doing my exercises within earshot of several of the other guys, which made talking to her impossible. What really fucked me up, though, was how cold she’d become. It was such a complete turnaround from the way she’d been the night before, it was driving me nuts.
“Three sets of twelve with the sixties, please.” Her voice was monotone. She pointed at the weight, refusing to look me in the eyes.
I bent down into her line of vision as I picked up the weight and tried to catch her eye, but she averted her gaze again.
Son of a bitch.
Behind her, Chris headed into his office. We were just out of sight of the one-way mirror, so I took advantage of the opportunity, shelved the weight, threw Kenzie over my shoulder, and headed out back to the alley.
“Ian, put me down,” she demanded. “What are you doing?” She twisted and squirmed, trying to get me to release her, but she was so small I could easily maintain control. Her attempts were futile. I was going to get her alone to talk to her, whether she wanted to or not.
“We need to talk,” I said as I kicked open the back door and stepped outside.
“You can’t do this, it’s kidnapping. Let me go,” she said, her voice filled with irritation.
I headed a bit farther down the alleyway before finally setting her feet on the ground.
She straightened out her clothes, then put her hands on her hips. Her gaze darted briefly to mine, then she focused her hateful glare at the wall behind me. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Don’t give me that. There’s something between us. You feel it; I know you do. Last night you said you just wanted to wait until my fight was over, but I don’t want to wait. Because waiting for you is a worse distraction than being with you could ever be. Break up with Chris. I don’t care what he does. He can beat the crap out of me. You don’t like him; you don’t even want to fuck him.” I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself. “But you and I both know that’s not the case with me. You want me. I see it in your eyes.”
MacKenzie looked down at the ground and shook her head. “No, I don’t.” Her response was almost a whisper, but her words stung.
She couldn’t mean them. I stepped closer and lifted her chin. Her eyes darted around, only meeting mine briefly. What was she hiding?
“Bullshit,” I said, barely keeping my voice under control. “What’s changed?”
“What?”
“You heard me. What’s changed? Last night when I kissed you, you kissed back. You said we had to wait until my fight was over. Now I’m saying I don’t want to wait. I can’t wait. I need you now. And you won’t even look me in the eye. So, what has changed?”
“Ian, I’m sorry about last night. I wish it hadn’t happened that way, but you have to remember, I was exhausted. We’d been driving all night, and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.” Her eyes lifted to mine, and they were filled with pain.
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I want to be with Chris, and you have to let me. I was weak last night. I slipped. It won’t happen again.”
“But why?” God, if she really did want to be with him, of course I would let her, but I couldn’t see it. There was no way he was right for her.
“Chris is a good guy. He’s someone…” MacKenzie paused and swallowed. “Someone who would stick around, and make a good husband one day.” She looked away, then dropped her gaze to the ground.
I rubbed my hand over my hair. What she said almost made sense, but I wasn’t buying it.
“You want me.” I closed the distance between us, cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her lips gently. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t kiss me back either. Instead, a small sob escaped, and I pulled away to see tears escaping her closed eyes.
Shit. What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to hurt this girl. Not ever.
I took a step back and lifted my hands in apology. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t…” MacKenzie’s voice shook, and she took a breath. “I don’t think you need our sessions anymore. Your shoulder is fully healed. You’ve been fighting at full strength for a week now.”
