Reckless Love
Page 43
She swallowed, wiped her eyes, then turned and headed down the alley.
Thirty-Five
MacKenzie
I was one serious basket case. I hated myself so much it made me sick.
Falling into Ian’s arms that night felt so right, but it was such a stupid thing to do. And so weak. I’d slipped up, almost letting him know how I felt, opening the door for him to get distracted. He was so agitated, I thought he would march right into the gym and tell Chris about us. But if he’d done that, Chris surely would have pulled him from the fight.
Ian had been cleared by the doctor to start sparring again, but Chris still wasn’t sure he’d be ready. That morning he informed me that he’d arranged for Jonah to come with us to Vegas, just in case he had to pull Ian from the fight.
I couldn’t have that.
Which was why I needed to be strong. If Ian couldn’t keep the distance between us in the week and a half leading up to the fight, I would have to be the one to take care of it. I didn’t like having to stop our physical therapy sessions, but I could no longer trust myself with him. And in all honesty, he was back to full strength. We could have stopped working together several days before, but I was too selfish. I wanted more time with him.
That had to stop.
So when I left him in the alley, I went back inside, cleaned myself up in the bathroom, and headed to the office to find Chris. On my way across the gym, Blondie, the girl I’d seen him with the other day, was exiting the office.
She saw me and changed course to intercept me, then paused next to me. “You may think Chris is yours but, honey, he’s been having his meals elsewhere. Soon enough, he’ll be mine.” Once she’d dropped her little bombshell, she smirked and continued the rest of the way to the front door.
Too bad for her that her threat didn’t have the intended reaction. My heart belonged to someone else, so it was only fitting that Chris’s did too.
I was so busy watching Blondie’s exit that I bumped right into Chris. “Oof. Sorry,” I said.
“Hey, babe. How did physical therapy go? Was Ian cooperative today?”
“Fine,” I said. “He’s doing really well. So well, in fact, that he graduated. He doesn’t have to do those exercises anymore. He can use the time to focus on other things.”
At that moment, Ian walked back in the front door of the gym. When his eyes found Chris and me, he looked away and lifted a hand to knead the back of his neck.
Obviously he felt responsible for making me cry. I hated that he felt that way, but there was nothing I could do to change it. He needed to think we were over, and that there was no chance of us ever happening. He needed to focus on healing and his fight in Vegas. Besides, we’d never work anyhow, and I’d end up with even more of a broken heart than I had now.
I slipped my hand into Chris’s and got up on my tiptoes, giving him a peck on the cheek, then glanced over to make sure Ian was watching. By the way his jaw tightened, it was safe to assume he was definitely watching.
Chris turned to face me and gave me a wet kiss on the lips. “I thought you didn’t like PDA at work. What was that for?” He smiled.
I forced myself to smile back.
Ian
Apparently Kenzie never told Chris about the night she spent in my guest room. I knew this because Chris didn’t beat me senseless the next day, the way he probably should have for trying to move on his girl. The cold shoulder I received from Kenzie through the rest of my training leading up to the fight was so much worse. I would have taken a beating from Chris if it meant I could have stolen another moment with Kenzie. But she made it clear with her emotionless stares that we were done.
Her devotion to Chris was making me insane. How could she want to be with someone she wasn’t even sure she wanted to fuck? That day at my home gym, when I had her folded in half, wet as fuck and begging for it, kept resurfacing in my mind. She’d been mine for the taking, offering herself to me.
What had she said about Chris? It hasn’t felt right. But for some insane reason, she refused to give up on him, on them.
Watching her with someone else, even if it was someone she chose, did things to me. Every time Chris kissed her, I punched harder, kicked faster, and pushed myself further than I had before. Maybe the only benefit of her refusing to be with me was that I was redoubling my training effort.
The thought of Kenzie, my Kenzie, with someone else tormented me. It filled me with an overwhelming rage that I could only relieve by pounding, ripping, and kicking the shit out of my sparring partners. And they were feeling it; I could see it in their eyes, the fear. The smaller guys wouldn’t work with me, so I was left with Jonah and several guys in the weight class above me. Even Jonah was getting bruised in practice. But he loved the fight so much, he would shake it off and come back for more. He and Chris worked with me all day on different moves and last-minute techniques.
When I went home, I threw myself into watching and re-watching my opponent’s old fights. I ate, breathed, and crapped fight videos. I was sick of watching the same fights over and over; I had them memorized. I knew all his moves. But I continued to watch them in the odd chance I would see something new I hadn’t seen the first eighty times I’d watched them. That, and they were the only way to stifle thoughts of Kenzie.
It was only through my dedication to the fight that I made it through the next week and a half without her. When the fight was over, I wasn’t sure how I’d fucking deal.
Thirty-Six
MacKenzie
The next ten days were hard. I tried to stay away from Ian, but he was training at the gym all the time, and I still needed my paycheck to make rent, so I couldn’t leave. Instead, I tried to make sure he saw me with Chris as much as possible.
Thirty-Five
MacKenzie
I was one serious basket case. I hated myself so much it made me sick.
Falling into Ian’s arms that night felt so right, but it was such a stupid thing to do. And so weak. I’d slipped up, almost letting him know how I felt, opening the door for him to get distracted. He was so agitated, I thought he would march right into the gym and tell Chris about us. But if he’d done that, Chris surely would have pulled him from the fight.
Ian had been cleared by the doctor to start sparring again, but Chris still wasn’t sure he’d be ready. That morning he informed me that he’d arranged for Jonah to come with us to Vegas, just in case he had to pull Ian from the fight.
I couldn’t have that.
Which was why I needed to be strong. If Ian couldn’t keep the distance between us in the week and a half leading up to the fight, I would have to be the one to take care of it. I didn’t like having to stop our physical therapy sessions, but I could no longer trust myself with him. And in all honesty, he was back to full strength. We could have stopped working together several days before, but I was too selfish. I wanted more time with him.
That had to stop.
So when I left him in the alley, I went back inside, cleaned myself up in the bathroom, and headed to the office to find Chris. On my way across the gym, Blondie, the girl I’d seen him with the other day, was exiting the office.
She saw me and changed course to intercept me, then paused next to me. “You may think Chris is yours but, honey, he’s been having his meals elsewhere. Soon enough, he’ll be mine.” Once she’d dropped her little bombshell, she smirked and continued the rest of the way to the front door.
Too bad for her that her threat didn’t have the intended reaction. My heart belonged to someone else, so it was only fitting that Chris’s did too.
I was so busy watching Blondie’s exit that I bumped right into Chris. “Oof. Sorry,” I said.
“Hey, babe. How did physical therapy go? Was Ian cooperative today?”
“Fine,” I said. “He’s doing really well. So well, in fact, that he graduated. He doesn’t have to do those exercises anymore. He can use the time to focus on other things.”
At that moment, Ian walked back in the front door of the gym. When his eyes found Chris and me, he looked away and lifted a hand to knead the back of his neck.
Obviously he felt responsible for making me cry. I hated that he felt that way, but there was nothing I could do to change it. He needed to think we were over, and that there was no chance of us ever happening. He needed to focus on healing and his fight in Vegas. Besides, we’d never work anyhow, and I’d end up with even more of a broken heart than I had now.
I slipped my hand into Chris’s and got up on my tiptoes, giving him a peck on the cheek, then glanced over to make sure Ian was watching. By the way his jaw tightened, it was safe to assume he was definitely watching.
Chris turned to face me and gave me a wet kiss on the lips. “I thought you didn’t like PDA at work. What was that for?” He smiled.
I forced myself to smile back.
Ian
Apparently Kenzie never told Chris about the night she spent in my guest room. I knew this because Chris didn’t beat me senseless the next day, the way he probably should have for trying to move on his girl. The cold shoulder I received from Kenzie through the rest of my training leading up to the fight was so much worse. I would have taken a beating from Chris if it meant I could have stolen another moment with Kenzie. But she made it clear with her emotionless stares that we were done.
Her devotion to Chris was making me insane. How could she want to be with someone she wasn’t even sure she wanted to fuck? That day at my home gym, when I had her folded in half, wet as fuck and begging for it, kept resurfacing in my mind. She’d been mine for the taking, offering herself to me.
What had she said about Chris? It hasn’t felt right. But for some insane reason, she refused to give up on him, on them.
Watching her with someone else, even if it was someone she chose, did things to me. Every time Chris kissed her, I punched harder, kicked faster, and pushed myself further than I had before. Maybe the only benefit of her refusing to be with me was that I was redoubling my training effort.
The thought of Kenzie, my Kenzie, with someone else tormented me. It filled me with an overwhelming rage that I could only relieve by pounding, ripping, and kicking the shit out of my sparring partners. And they were feeling it; I could see it in their eyes, the fear. The smaller guys wouldn’t work with me, so I was left with Jonah and several guys in the weight class above me. Even Jonah was getting bruised in practice. But he loved the fight so much, he would shake it off and come back for more. He and Chris worked with me all day on different moves and last-minute techniques.
When I went home, I threw myself into watching and re-watching my opponent’s old fights. I ate, breathed, and crapped fight videos. I was sick of watching the same fights over and over; I had them memorized. I knew all his moves. But I continued to watch them in the odd chance I would see something new I hadn’t seen the first eighty times I’d watched them. That, and they were the only way to stifle thoughts of Kenzie.
It was only through my dedication to the fight that I made it through the next week and a half without her. When the fight was over, I wasn’t sure how I’d fucking deal.
Thirty-Six
MacKenzie
The next ten days were hard. I tried to stay away from Ian, but he was training at the gym all the time, and I still needed my paycheck to make rent, so I couldn’t leave. Instead, I tried to make sure he saw me with Chris as much as possible.
