The Heart's Ashes
Page 18
“You know, you fascinate me.” He shook his head, studying my face; “You hate Jason for hurting you, yet David, who did the same to Jason’s girl—you love? You love him unconditionally.”
“David is nothing like Jason.” I turned so my knees faced slightly away from him.
Eric breathed out and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “I just don’t get you, girl. You make no sense. Councilman David—” he leaned forward and dropped his voice as a couple passed on the sidewalk, “—is the bad guy here. He ridiculed and tortured his own brother his entire life. Rochelle was only one story.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. In the greater scheme of things, what Jason did was justified.”
“Justified? Hurting me is justified?”
Eric softened. “I’m sorry. I think it is.”
I looked away again.
“Amara, you know nothing about our world—you know nothing about David. You should get your facts straight before you make assumptions,” he said as he slumped back in the chair.
“It’s not an assumption to think it’s wrong for someone to kidnap and torture another.”
“But it was okay for David to do it?”
“I—” all my words dropped out onto the pavement in front of me.
“See?”
“David didn’t torture Rochelle.”
“Didn’t he? Did Jason show you the whole story?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you notice anything odd about the way she was sitting?”
“Rochelle?”
Eric nodded; I wandered back through my mind, trying to find the memory Jason shoved down my throat, but there was nothing. It was gone. “I don’t remember.”
“What if he did? What if David tortured that poor girl so badly she prayed for death?”
“Stop it. Don’t say that.”
“Amara. Tell me. What if he had? Would you still love him? Would you think David justified to have revenge on Jason if it were the other way around?” He waited for my answer, clutching closed fingers around his knee. “Look, I’m sorry you were the entity of one man’s revenge—you just got in the middle of the wrong feud, is all, but Jason’s not the bad guy.”
“Or maybe they both are.”
“But you still love David. And you still haven’t gotten up and walked away from the very same creature that they are.”
I looked down at my shoes. He’s right. I should leave. But I can’t. “People make mistakes, Eric.”
“So you forgive Jason?”
“No.”
“David?”
“I love him.” I shrugged. “I can’t help how I feel.”
“And Jason loved Rochelle.”
“So you’re siding with him?”
“I don’t take sides. You’ll learn that about me very quickly, kiddo. Neutral is safe.”
I wanted to slap him, but the truth was...I needed him, so I smiled instead. “Well, since you’re neutral, you’ll just have to be my informant then.”
“Informant on what?”
“On what’s going on with...with these laws and changes.”
“Hm.” He nodded. “Want me to keep an eye for David, huh?”
I twiddled my fingers in my lap. “If you could.”
“Does that mean we get to hang out?”
“I guess so.”
“Then it’s a deal.”
“But only if it’s arranged—none of this stalking stuff. Okay?”
“Shake on it?” He extended his hand. When I placed mine in his, a small quiver of electricity charged our touch—making me tingle from fingernails to elbow. I dropped my hand into my lap.
God, he makes everything on me tingle—makes me forget everything I want or don’t want, everything I like and dislike. I looked sideways at him, trying not to smile at his smug grin, wondering if he might possibly be reading my mind. “What?” I asked finally.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that—” he took a breath and swallowed, “David said your eyes were amazing, but I never imagined they’d look like the sun shining on the bluest ocean. It’s a shame you won’t love again—I’d have fun with you.”
“Love? You?” I laughed.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re a vampire.”
“So, you loved David, he was a vampire.”
“I didn’t know that when I fell for him.”
“You’re falling for me.”
A moment of silence hovered around us. “I’m not.”
“Denial is a river in Egypt. It has no place here.”
“Oh, shut up!”
Eric laughed warmly when I slapped his thigh with the back of my hand. Then, sobering himself with a wipe of his palm across his jaw, he said, “So, you drank his blood, huh?”
“Yes.”
“And he drank yours?”
“What’s your point?”
He looked at my lips. “How was it?”
While the memory of that day by the lake flooded my heart, I closed my eyes. “It was—beautiful.”
Eric stared ahead and tapped his foot. “I’ve never done it—with a willing human. Must’ve been exhilarating for him.”
“I wouldn’t know, and neither will you—not with me.” Time to go. I stood up, folding my arms over my chest.
“Aw, come on, Amara,” Eric called, following me across the road. “Just do it with me once. Just once.”
“No way. I could never trust you with my blood. I can’t get bitten again, Eric—I might not survive.”
“Well, what if I let you drink mine? I won’t take yours.” He stopped on the median line.
I stopped too, thinking about it—imagining it. “No—” shaking off the image, I unlocked my car. “It’s too intimate. I’ll never do that again.”
“I’ll keep trying until you say yes,” he called as I hopped in and slammed the door.
Oh, my God. I wrapped my fingers in a bone-white grip around the steering wheel. I want to say yes—I want to get out of this car right now and tell him to come home with me.
I watched him in my rear-view mirror, walking down the street—back toward the music shop, then shook my head and flipped the mirror so I could see my own face. “If we’d been alone, then...” I said, touching my cheek. I would’ve done it. I know myself. I definitely would have. When I drank David’s blood, it made me feel so good—energised me; I felt light and yet kind of powerful. The life force in their bodies must seep out through their blood as well as their, er...seed. I’m sure it has healing properties, too, because after that, my bruises healed a little faster than normal and even the slit where he took my blood healed within the week. But it wore off so quickly—leaving me craving and bitter inside.
“David is nothing like Jason.” I turned so my knees faced slightly away from him.
Eric breathed out and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. “I just don’t get you, girl. You make no sense. Councilman David—” he leaned forward and dropped his voice as a couple passed on the sidewalk, “—is the bad guy here. He ridiculed and tortured his own brother his entire life. Rochelle was only one story.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. In the greater scheme of things, what Jason did was justified.”
“Justified? Hurting me is justified?”
Eric softened. “I’m sorry. I think it is.”
I looked away again.
“Amara, you know nothing about our world—you know nothing about David. You should get your facts straight before you make assumptions,” he said as he slumped back in the chair.
“It’s not an assumption to think it’s wrong for someone to kidnap and torture another.”
“But it was okay for David to do it?”
“I—” all my words dropped out onto the pavement in front of me.
“See?”
“David didn’t torture Rochelle.”
“Didn’t he? Did Jason show you the whole story?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you notice anything odd about the way she was sitting?”
“Rochelle?”
Eric nodded; I wandered back through my mind, trying to find the memory Jason shoved down my throat, but there was nothing. It was gone. “I don’t remember.”
“What if he did? What if David tortured that poor girl so badly she prayed for death?”
“Stop it. Don’t say that.”
“Amara. Tell me. What if he had? Would you still love him? Would you think David justified to have revenge on Jason if it were the other way around?” He waited for my answer, clutching closed fingers around his knee. “Look, I’m sorry you were the entity of one man’s revenge—you just got in the middle of the wrong feud, is all, but Jason’s not the bad guy.”
“Or maybe they both are.”
“But you still love David. And you still haven’t gotten up and walked away from the very same creature that they are.”
I looked down at my shoes. He’s right. I should leave. But I can’t. “People make mistakes, Eric.”
“So you forgive Jason?”
“No.”
“David?”
“I love him.” I shrugged. “I can’t help how I feel.”
“And Jason loved Rochelle.”
“So you’re siding with him?”
“I don’t take sides. You’ll learn that about me very quickly, kiddo. Neutral is safe.”
I wanted to slap him, but the truth was...I needed him, so I smiled instead. “Well, since you’re neutral, you’ll just have to be my informant then.”
“Informant on what?”
“On what’s going on with...with these laws and changes.”
“Hm.” He nodded. “Want me to keep an eye for David, huh?”
I twiddled my fingers in my lap. “If you could.”
“Does that mean we get to hang out?”
“I guess so.”
“Then it’s a deal.”
“But only if it’s arranged—none of this stalking stuff. Okay?”
“Shake on it?” He extended his hand. When I placed mine in his, a small quiver of electricity charged our touch—making me tingle from fingernails to elbow. I dropped my hand into my lap.
God, he makes everything on me tingle—makes me forget everything I want or don’t want, everything I like and dislike. I looked sideways at him, trying not to smile at his smug grin, wondering if he might possibly be reading my mind. “What?” I asked finally.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that—” he took a breath and swallowed, “David said your eyes were amazing, but I never imagined they’d look like the sun shining on the bluest ocean. It’s a shame you won’t love again—I’d have fun with you.”
“Love? You?” I laughed.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re a vampire.”
“So, you loved David, he was a vampire.”
“I didn’t know that when I fell for him.”
“You’re falling for me.”
A moment of silence hovered around us. “I’m not.”
“Denial is a river in Egypt. It has no place here.”
“Oh, shut up!”
Eric laughed warmly when I slapped his thigh with the back of my hand. Then, sobering himself with a wipe of his palm across his jaw, he said, “So, you drank his blood, huh?”
“Yes.”
“And he drank yours?”
“What’s your point?”
He looked at my lips. “How was it?”
While the memory of that day by the lake flooded my heart, I closed my eyes. “It was—beautiful.”
Eric stared ahead and tapped his foot. “I’ve never done it—with a willing human. Must’ve been exhilarating for him.”
“I wouldn’t know, and neither will you—not with me.” Time to go. I stood up, folding my arms over my chest.
“Aw, come on, Amara,” Eric called, following me across the road. “Just do it with me once. Just once.”
“No way. I could never trust you with my blood. I can’t get bitten again, Eric—I might not survive.”
“Well, what if I let you drink mine? I won’t take yours.” He stopped on the median line.
I stopped too, thinking about it—imagining it. “No—” shaking off the image, I unlocked my car. “It’s too intimate. I’ll never do that again.”
“I’ll keep trying until you say yes,” he called as I hopped in and slammed the door.
Oh, my God. I wrapped my fingers in a bone-white grip around the steering wheel. I want to say yes—I want to get out of this car right now and tell him to come home with me.
I watched him in my rear-view mirror, walking down the street—back toward the music shop, then shook my head and flipped the mirror so I could see my own face. “If we’d been alone, then...” I said, touching my cheek. I would’ve done it. I know myself. I definitely would have. When I drank David’s blood, it made me feel so good—energised me; I felt light and yet kind of powerful. The life force in their bodies must seep out through their blood as well as their, er...seed. I’m sure it has healing properties, too, because after that, my bruises healed a little faster than normal and even the slit where he took my blood healed within the week. But it wore off so quickly—leaving me craving and bitter inside.
