The Other Side of Love
Page 12
“Oh, boy.” She shuddered and laughed as he smacked her bottom.
“You’re my forever love and I’m never letting go of you.”
“Not even when I shower?” She grinned at him and wiggled her eyebrows and he slid his hand up her back.
“Especially not when you shower.” He grinned at her before leaning down to kiss her on the lips. I stood there watching them, still slightly shocked to see my previously cold and emotionless brother acting like some sort of Romeo.
“Sorry, Noah.” Lucky pulled away from Zane’s embrace with a flush. “Zane just gets carried away.”
“I guess I know how the babies happened.” I laughed and she blushed even redder.
“Noah!” Zane winked at me, as he faked a disapproving voice.
“Sorry.” I winked back at him and stretched. “I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone and go upstairs.” I left the room and tried to ignore the empty pit of despair in my stomach. I brightened up at the thought of Robin joining us for dinner. A part of me was buzzing with excitement as I thought about getting to know her better. But then I thought of Skylar and her phone call and all excitement left me. Instead I was filled with guilt and concern and I wasn’t sure if those feelings would ever leave me.
***
“Dinner was wonderful. Thank you, Lucky.” Robin licked her lips, and we all laughed at her obvious enjoyment of the food. “I haven’t had a good meal in a long while.”
“Well, you know, us waitresses have to stick together.” Lucky laughed and stood up. “Now for dessert. Zane, help me with the dishes, please.”
“Huh?” He looked up at her and she gave him a look before he jumped up as well. “Oh, sure.” He looked over at me and made a face. “It seems like my daily chores have already started.”
“Zane Beaumont, helping me clear the table once doesn’t count as daily chores.” Lucky’s voice was amused and exasperated at the same time.
“Well, you already had me do a grocery run.”
“Zane, you went to get yourself some beer and I asked you to grab some ice cream. That is not a grocery run.”
“It sounds like she has you beat, Zane.” Robin laughed as she watched them banter and she turned to me, her eyes sparkling. “Is it like this every day?”
“Yup.” I grinned back at her. “I feel like I’m part man, part judge. Well, maybe not judge. More like mediator.”
“And here I thought you were the big bad wolf.” Robin leaned towards me flirtatiously.
“I can be if you want me to be.” I leaned towards her.
“Oh, shit, please tell me I do not sound like such an idiot.” Zane shuddered and Lucky pushed him towards the kitchen with an apologetic look.
“They’re really cute.” Robin smiled as they left the room.
“Yeah.” I agreed. “They’re perfect for each other.”
“It must be nice to live with such an obviously in love couple.” She tilted her head and stared into my eyes. “A real life example that true love can and does exist.”
“When it’s not annoying as hell.” I made a face. “Seriously though, I couldn’t be happier for my brother. He found a gem.”
“I can’t believe she was a waitress.”
“I guess there is something about the men in my family being attracted to the help.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and then groaned as I realized what I had said. “Oh, my God, I so didn’t mean that as it came out.”
“It’s okay.” She laughed at my look of terror. “I’m not going to bite your head off. This time.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I ran my hands through my hair and sat back. “I seem to have a knack of putting my foot in my mouth.”
“Well, you do have a very nice mouth.” She stared at my lips and I wanted to grab her and pull her towards me and kiss her hard. I had been captivated by Robin as soon as she had stepped through the door in her slinky black dress. She was terribly overdressed for dinner but she looked sexy as hell. It didn’t hurt that she also smelled divine. The way she ate was also titillating and I wondered if she was trying to seduce me. My loins felt heavy and hard and I groaned at how typically male I was. All I could think about was getting her into my bed. And the last time I had followed the needs of my body, I had been burned badly.
“I’ve heard that one before,” I mumbled, not thinking, and she laughed.
“Modest, aren’t you, Noah?”
“Dang it. I’m an idiot.” I jumped up and pulled her up with me. “Sorry, I’m distracted by your beauty. Let me make it up to you.”
“How would you like to make it up to me?” She raised an eyebrow. “And please don’t tell me in the bedroom or I will walk right out the door.”
“Well, there goes that plan.” I pulled her towards me and looked down into her eyes with a naughty look. My arms circled her waist and I brought her body into mine so that she could feel just how turned on I was. “But I suppose I’ll allow you to disappoint me.”
“Your body is hard.” She gulped as she stared up at her. Her hands were on my arms and I flexed my muscles for her. “I mean your arms are hard. Your muscles, you know. Nothing else. Is hard. You know what I mean.” Her face flushed and she stopped talking for a moment. “Shit, I think you’ve rubbed off on me.”
“Really?” I held back a laugh. “I’m hard and I’ve rubbed off on you?” I moved my head closer to hers and whispered against her lips. “Don’t you think that’s a bit much for a first date?”
Robin’s face was bright red, and she attempted to move away from me in embarrassment. I kept her firmly pressed against me and then leaned down and kissed her. As my lips touched her, I felt a jolt of electricity pass through us and her eyes widened in shock as I slipped my tongue roughly into her mouth and cupped her ass to bring her in even closer to me. I laughed as I felt her teeth nibble on my lower lip, and then I groaned as her fingers reached into the back of my shirt and she ran her fingernails up and down my back. Robin pressed her br**sts against my chest and all I wanted to do was rip her shirt off and then throw her bra across the room before I sucked on her nipples. I felt feverish as we kissed and I felt suddenly bereft when she pulled away from me with a reluctant look.
“Sorry.” She looked away from me. “Like I said before, I’m not on the menu for tonight. If that disappoints you, I can just leave.” Her tone became slightly edgy and I felt the mood between us change.
“Hey,” I grabbed her chin and made her look at me. “You’re jumping to conclusions again.”
“Excuse me?” She glared at me and pulled away and I wondered how women were able to change their moods so quickly.
“You’re acting like you did in the restaurant. You’re judging me and my actions and basing your words on emotions that are running though you. Those emotions are not because of what I’ve said or done. I’ve given you no reason to think that all I want from you is sex.”
“I never said that is all you want.” She sputtered, her eyelashes blinking rapidly. “I never said that at all.”
“That’s what you thought and implied when you said you were just going to leave.” I grabbed a hold of her hands and drew her into me again. This time I didn’t bring her close enough to feel the hardness in my pants. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you. I’m not going to tell you that I don’t want to make love to you. I wouldn’t be a normal heterosexual man if I didn’t. But that’s not all that I want from you. And it wasn’t what I was implying. When I stood up from the table, I was going to ask you if you wanted to dance. And not a lap dance or a striptease. Just a regular dance with two normal people who are on a first date and getting to know each other.”
“You want to dance?” Robin made a face. “I did hear that correctly, right? You said you want to dance?”
“Yes.” I nodded and smiled. I pulled away from her, counted to three in my head and proceeded to waltz around the room by myself. Robin watched me with amazement in her eyes as I glided around the dining room, and I continued on with my movements, pretending to dip and twirl my invisible partner before finding my way back in front of her and dipping in a slow and low bow. As I straightened up, Robin’s eyes watched me mirthfully and she clapped enthusiastically, grinning at me as I pretended to preen at her adoration and praise.
“Encore, encore.” She laughed and I shook my head.
“Not unless I have a partner.”
“I’m not really a good ballroom dancer.” She made a face. “I’m more a getting low type of girl.”
“Getting low?”
“You know, to hip hop.” She laughed and did a dance move where she shook her h*ps as she moved down to the floor. I watched, mesmerized, as she moved her body rhythmically, and all I could think about was her moving that way on top of me. She stood up straight and looked at me quizzically as I just stood there staring at her, unspeaking.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted her. I felt a connection with her that I’d never felt before but I had nothing to offer her. I was still in limbo; everything in my life was in flux. I wasn’t good enough for her. It wouldn’t be fair to her to try and start a relationship. It didn’t matter that my heart sung when she smiled at me with that happy but uncertain look in her eyes. It didn’t matter that I heard birds sing when she said my name. It didn’t matter that when I was with her I started to feel alive again.
“You do know what hip-hop is, right?” she asked uncertainly and I nodded, still unable to talk. I was transfixed by her beauty and the fragile air around her. Robin put on a good confident show, but I could tell that there was a lot more to her than the exterior she was showing me. Something told me that inside, she was made of glass and that she would shatter if I made one wrong move.
“Yes, yes. I know.” I finally spoke and took a step back. “I’ve jumped on it a few times.” I winked at her and she laughed as she got my little joke.
“Thanks for inviting me to dinner.” She looked away from me, and I knew she could sense the sudden awkwardness between us. I didn’t know what to say to her. Five minutes ago we were making out then we were arguing and then we were laughing and now we were in that awkward space that comes between two people who aren’t sure of what the other person is thinking.
“I’m so glad that you could make it.” I nodded, all thoughts of dancing gone from my mind. “Would you like to stay for dessert?”
“I should be going!” She shook her head and I saw a glimpse of an emotion close to fear in her eyes. “I have to practice my monologue for an audition,” she explained. “But it’s been really wonderful.”
“We should do it again.” I smiled at her, but our eyes didn’t connect. We had lost that special moment and now we were acting like two people who barely knew each other and didn’t want to get closer.
“Yes. Definitely. Please let Zane and Lucky know that I had a great time and thank them for the wonderful dinner.”
“Thank you for bringing the wine.” I nodded and walked with her to the front door. Part of me was prodding myself to say something, to not let the evening end like this. It had been a good night. We had a connection. I knew she had to feel it as well. I wondered what was holding her back. What was her story? I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her to regain her trust in men. Let her know that she didn’t have to be on the defensive all the time. We weren’t all bad. I wanted to hold her close to me and let her warmth sink into me so that I no longer felt cold and lonely. Instead I opened the front door and gave her a big smile. “Good luck with the audition.”
“Thanks.” She nodded and fiddled with her car keys as she walked out the door.
“I’ll call you,” I lied as she smiled at me weakly and hurried away. I closed the door slowly and fell back, not sure what had happened to our easy rapport. It was as if both of us had sensed that we had chemistry but neither one of us was interested in moving forward with it. But it was more than that: it was as if both of us were interested but we were too scared to do anything about it.
“Hey, where’s Robin?” Lucky walked out from the dining area and looked around.
“She left.”
“She left?” Lucky frowned. “I just put the apple pie on the table. I even made homemade ice-cream with the Kitchen-Aid that Zane got me.”
“Sorry, she had to leave.” I walked towards her and took her arm in mine. “But I can eat her helping and mine if you want.”
“I don’t understand why she left.” Lucky looked at me with narrow eyes. “You guys were getting on so well. What happened?”
“I think we both realized that perhaps it’s best for us to not go down this road.”
“What road?” Lucky’s voice rose and she sounded annoyed. “This was barely a first date. No one’s asking you guys to get married. Get to know each other. Eat some pie.”
“It’s not that simple.” I rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. “I think we both felt a connection and I think it scared us both. I’m not in any position to start a new relationship, Lucky. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Why aren’t you in a position?” She sighed. “Do you want to get back with the girl you dated in Palm Bonita?”
“You’re my forever love and I’m never letting go of you.”
“Not even when I shower?” She grinned at him and wiggled her eyebrows and he slid his hand up her back.
“Especially not when you shower.” He grinned at her before leaning down to kiss her on the lips. I stood there watching them, still slightly shocked to see my previously cold and emotionless brother acting like some sort of Romeo.
“Sorry, Noah.” Lucky pulled away from Zane’s embrace with a flush. “Zane just gets carried away.”
“I guess I know how the babies happened.” I laughed and she blushed even redder.
“Noah!” Zane winked at me, as he faked a disapproving voice.
“Sorry.” I winked back at him and stretched. “I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone and go upstairs.” I left the room and tried to ignore the empty pit of despair in my stomach. I brightened up at the thought of Robin joining us for dinner. A part of me was buzzing with excitement as I thought about getting to know her better. But then I thought of Skylar and her phone call and all excitement left me. Instead I was filled with guilt and concern and I wasn’t sure if those feelings would ever leave me.
***
“Dinner was wonderful. Thank you, Lucky.” Robin licked her lips, and we all laughed at her obvious enjoyment of the food. “I haven’t had a good meal in a long while.”
“Well, you know, us waitresses have to stick together.” Lucky laughed and stood up. “Now for dessert. Zane, help me with the dishes, please.”
“Huh?” He looked up at her and she gave him a look before he jumped up as well. “Oh, sure.” He looked over at me and made a face. “It seems like my daily chores have already started.”
“Zane Beaumont, helping me clear the table once doesn’t count as daily chores.” Lucky’s voice was amused and exasperated at the same time.
“Well, you already had me do a grocery run.”
“Zane, you went to get yourself some beer and I asked you to grab some ice cream. That is not a grocery run.”
“It sounds like she has you beat, Zane.” Robin laughed as she watched them banter and she turned to me, her eyes sparkling. “Is it like this every day?”
“Yup.” I grinned back at her. “I feel like I’m part man, part judge. Well, maybe not judge. More like mediator.”
“And here I thought you were the big bad wolf.” Robin leaned towards me flirtatiously.
“I can be if you want me to be.” I leaned towards her.
“Oh, shit, please tell me I do not sound like such an idiot.” Zane shuddered and Lucky pushed him towards the kitchen with an apologetic look.
“They’re really cute.” Robin smiled as they left the room.
“Yeah.” I agreed. “They’re perfect for each other.”
“It must be nice to live with such an obviously in love couple.” She tilted her head and stared into my eyes. “A real life example that true love can and does exist.”
“When it’s not annoying as hell.” I made a face. “Seriously though, I couldn’t be happier for my brother. He found a gem.”
“I can’t believe she was a waitress.”
“I guess there is something about the men in my family being attracted to the help.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her and then groaned as I realized what I had said. “Oh, my God, I so didn’t mean that as it came out.”
“It’s okay.” She laughed at my look of terror. “I’m not going to bite your head off. This time.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I ran my hands through my hair and sat back. “I seem to have a knack of putting my foot in my mouth.”
“Well, you do have a very nice mouth.” She stared at my lips and I wanted to grab her and pull her towards me and kiss her hard. I had been captivated by Robin as soon as she had stepped through the door in her slinky black dress. She was terribly overdressed for dinner but she looked sexy as hell. It didn’t hurt that she also smelled divine. The way she ate was also titillating and I wondered if she was trying to seduce me. My loins felt heavy and hard and I groaned at how typically male I was. All I could think about was getting her into my bed. And the last time I had followed the needs of my body, I had been burned badly.
“I’ve heard that one before,” I mumbled, not thinking, and she laughed.
“Modest, aren’t you, Noah?”
“Dang it. I’m an idiot.” I jumped up and pulled her up with me. “Sorry, I’m distracted by your beauty. Let me make it up to you.”
“How would you like to make it up to me?” She raised an eyebrow. “And please don’t tell me in the bedroom or I will walk right out the door.”
“Well, there goes that plan.” I pulled her towards me and looked down into her eyes with a naughty look. My arms circled her waist and I brought her body into mine so that she could feel just how turned on I was. “But I suppose I’ll allow you to disappoint me.”
“Your body is hard.” She gulped as she stared up at her. Her hands were on my arms and I flexed my muscles for her. “I mean your arms are hard. Your muscles, you know. Nothing else. Is hard. You know what I mean.” Her face flushed and she stopped talking for a moment. “Shit, I think you’ve rubbed off on me.”
“Really?” I held back a laugh. “I’m hard and I’ve rubbed off on you?” I moved my head closer to hers and whispered against her lips. “Don’t you think that’s a bit much for a first date?”
Robin’s face was bright red, and she attempted to move away from me in embarrassment. I kept her firmly pressed against me and then leaned down and kissed her. As my lips touched her, I felt a jolt of electricity pass through us and her eyes widened in shock as I slipped my tongue roughly into her mouth and cupped her ass to bring her in even closer to me. I laughed as I felt her teeth nibble on my lower lip, and then I groaned as her fingers reached into the back of my shirt and she ran her fingernails up and down my back. Robin pressed her br**sts against my chest and all I wanted to do was rip her shirt off and then throw her bra across the room before I sucked on her nipples. I felt feverish as we kissed and I felt suddenly bereft when she pulled away from me with a reluctant look.
“Sorry.” She looked away from me. “Like I said before, I’m not on the menu for tonight. If that disappoints you, I can just leave.” Her tone became slightly edgy and I felt the mood between us change.
“Hey,” I grabbed her chin and made her look at me. “You’re jumping to conclusions again.”
“Excuse me?” She glared at me and pulled away and I wondered how women were able to change their moods so quickly.
“You’re acting like you did in the restaurant. You’re judging me and my actions and basing your words on emotions that are running though you. Those emotions are not because of what I’ve said or done. I’ve given you no reason to think that all I want from you is sex.”
“I never said that is all you want.” She sputtered, her eyelashes blinking rapidly. “I never said that at all.”
“That’s what you thought and implied when you said you were just going to leave.” I grabbed a hold of her hands and drew her into me again. This time I didn’t bring her close enough to feel the hardness in my pants. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not attracted to you. I’m not going to tell you that I don’t want to make love to you. I wouldn’t be a normal heterosexual man if I didn’t. But that’s not all that I want from you. And it wasn’t what I was implying. When I stood up from the table, I was going to ask you if you wanted to dance. And not a lap dance or a striptease. Just a regular dance with two normal people who are on a first date and getting to know each other.”
“You want to dance?” Robin made a face. “I did hear that correctly, right? You said you want to dance?”
“Yes.” I nodded and smiled. I pulled away from her, counted to three in my head and proceeded to waltz around the room by myself. Robin watched me with amazement in her eyes as I glided around the dining room, and I continued on with my movements, pretending to dip and twirl my invisible partner before finding my way back in front of her and dipping in a slow and low bow. As I straightened up, Robin’s eyes watched me mirthfully and she clapped enthusiastically, grinning at me as I pretended to preen at her adoration and praise.
“Encore, encore.” She laughed and I shook my head.
“Not unless I have a partner.”
“I’m not really a good ballroom dancer.” She made a face. “I’m more a getting low type of girl.”
“Getting low?”
“You know, to hip hop.” She laughed and did a dance move where she shook her h*ps as she moved down to the floor. I watched, mesmerized, as she moved her body rhythmically, and all I could think about was her moving that way on top of me. She stood up straight and looked at me quizzically as I just stood there staring at her, unspeaking.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted her. I felt a connection with her that I’d never felt before but I had nothing to offer her. I was still in limbo; everything in my life was in flux. I wasn’t good enough for her. It wouldn’t be fair to her to try and start a relationship. It didn’t matter that my heart sung when she smiled at me with that happy but uncertain look in her eyes. It didn’t matter that I heard birds sing when she said my name. It didn’t matter that when I was with her I started to feel alive again.
“You do know what hip-hop is, right?” she asked uncertainly and I nodded, still unable to talk. I was transfixed by her beauty and the fragile air around her. Robin put on a good confident show, but I could tell that there was a lot more to her than the exterior she was showing me. Something told me that inside, she was made of glass and that she would shatter if I made one wrong move.
“Yes, yes. I know.” I finally spoke and took a step back. “I’ve jumped on it a few times.” I winked at her and she laughed as she got my little joke.
“Thanks for inviting me to dinner.” She looked away from me, and I knew she could sense the sudden awkwardness between us. I didn’t know what to say to her. Five minutes ago we were making out then we were arguing and then we were laughing and now we were in that awkward space that comes between two people who aren’t sure of what the other person is thinking.
“I’m so glad that you could make it.” I nodded, all thoughts of dancing gone from my mind. “Would you like to stay for dessert?”
“I should be going!” She shook her head and I saw a glimpse of an emotion close to fear in her eyes. “I have to practice my monologue for an audition,” she explained. “But it’s been really wonderful.”
“We should do it again.” I smiled at her, but our eyes didn’t connect. We had lost that special moment and now we were acting like two people who barely knew each other and didn’t want to get closer.
“Yes. Definitely. Please let Zane and Lucky know that I had a great time and thank them for the wonderful dinner.”
“Thank you for bringing the wine.” I nodded and walked with her to the front door. Part of me was prodding myself to say something, to not let the evening end like this. It had been a good night. We had a connection. I knew she had to feel it as well. I wondered what was holding her back. What was her story? I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her to regain her trust in men. Let her know that she didn’t have to be on the defensive all the time. We weren’t all bad. I wanted to hold her close to me and let her warmth sink into me so that I no longer felt cold and lonely. Instead I opened the front door and gave her a big smile. “Good luck with the audition.”
“Thanks.” She nodded and fiddled with her car keys as she walked out the door.
“I’ll call you,” I lied as she smiled at me weakly and hurried away. I closed the door slowly and fell back, not sure what had happened to our easy rapport. It was as if both of us had sensed that we had chemistry but neither one of us was interested in moving forward with it. But it was more than that: it was as if both of us were interested but we were too scared to do anything about it.
“Hey, where’s Robin?” Lucky walked out from the dining area and looked around.
“She left.”
“She left?” Lucky frowned. “I just put the apple pie on the table. I even made homemade ice-cream with the Kitchen-Aid that Zane got me.”
“Sorry, she had to leave.” I walked towards her and took her arm in mine. “But I can eat her helping and mine if you want.”
“I don’t understand why she left.” Lucky looked at me with narrow eyes. “You guys were getting on so well. What happened?”
“I think we both realized that perhaps it’s best for us to not go down this road.”
“What road?” Lucky’s voice rose and she sounded annoyed. “This was barely a first date. No one’s asking you guys to get married. Get to know each other. Eat some pie.”
“It’s not that simple.” I rubbed my eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. “I think we both felt a connection and I think it scared us both. I’m not in any position to start a new relationship, Lucky. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Why aren’t you in a position?” She sighed. “Do you want to get back with the girl you dated in Palm Bonita?”
