Trailer Park Heart
Page 32
Ignoring his joke, I blurted, “He doesn’t have one.” The lie fell out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“He doesn’t have a middle name?”
“No.”
“His name is Max Dawson?”
“Yep.”
“That’s it?”
“Stop judging me. God, Levi, what’s it to you what his middle name is?” My anger was defensive and obvious. I reminded my body to play it cool, but I couldn’t help but rip my hands away from him and take a step back. Obvious much, Ruby? I would have rolled my eyes at myself if Levi would have given me a break and stopped glaring at me.
But when he did, he made everything so much worse. “Max, is that true? You don’t have a middle name?”
He raised his eyebrows and stopped jumping over puddles in order to ask, “What’s a middle name?”
A big breath of relief wanted to push out of my chest, but I held it back.
Levi smiled at him. “What’s the name your mom calls you when she’s mad at you? Like my mom always yells at me, Levi Richard Cole. And then I know I’m in big trouble because she used all three of my names.”
Max laughed at Levi’s dramatic story and then thought about what I called him when I was angry. Finally, he admitted, “Maxwell. She always calls me Maxwell.” Before I could totally relax though, he shook his finger at the ground and said in a voice I could only imagine was a high-pitched impression of mine, “Stop that right this second, Maxwell Dane Dawson.”
Levi’s gaze snapped upward and found mine immediately.
“It was my grandfather’s name,” I rushed to say. “Dane. It’s my grandfather’s name.”
That wasn’t true. My grandfather’s name was Dave. Dane was Logan’s middle name. It was a fact I knew from Spanish 1. I’d always loved the name. I thought it had sounded strong and sophisticated. It was a gift I’d wanted to give my son from his father.
“You just lied to me,” Levi stated impatiently.
My face flushed, and I desperately wanted to crawl into a hole and shrivel into a Ruby raisin. “Why do you even care? It’s weird you want to know his middle name. I’m allowed to protect my son from nosy strangers.”
He stood there staring at me, obviously chewing over my accusations. His face was an unreadable mask, emotions flickering too quickly for me to grasp any of them. Finally, he asked, “Your mom’s dad?”
“Yeah. He was around when I was little,” I explained, settling more comfortably in the truth part of the lie. “He meant a lot to me.”
“That’s Logan’s middle name.”
“I know,” I whispered, still unable to look at him.
“If you knew, why didn’t you just tell me?”
I looked to my left, desperate to break Levi’s intent gaze. “Your brother and I were friends once upon a time. I know you miss him. I just… it felt too weird to say his name out loud.”
He nodded, accepting my answer. His focus traveled back to Max. “I’ll bring a real lightsaber next time for you, Max. Or at least the movies. I’ll show you the awesomeness that is Luke Skywalker.”
“Okay!” Max answered with a huge smile on his face. “Next time.”
It was everything I could do not to kick Levi in the shins and throw Max in our double wide, locking every single window and door possible.
Something shifted in Levi. It wasn’t like he relaxed, but he mellowed somehow, or at least pretended to. His grin was all easy going and friendly, but I saw the stern set of his jaw and the feral power shimmering beneath the surface. He might have been able to see right through me, but I saw him too.
“Bye, Max,” he said casually. Turning to me, he pinned me in place with an expression that was the opposite of how he looked at Max. It was fire and brimstone and keen intuition. I wanted to point out to him that I knew he wasn’t as relaxed as he put on, that I was right, that he couldn’t hide from me either. But I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t going to feed the fire of his suspicions. Or admit that I couldn’t stop watching him, not even after all these years. “See you later, Ruby,” he bit out, all pretense of polite conversation gone. “Don’t forget to talk to RJ.”
“No promises,” I mumbled, barely holding myself up under the weight of his glare. My organs and bones started shrinking inside me, my courage wilting, my tenacity packing up and fleeing town.
His eyes narrowed into a furious scowl. “Probably doesn’t matter. Not even RJ can save your lying ass now.”
He sauntered off like he hadn’t just threatened me or turned my entire world upside down. I watched his retreating form as the casual aloofness settled in his shoulders. I didn’t know whether to tackle him, drag him back to my place and keep him captive for the next twelve years or shrug him off and stop giving into my paranoia.
There was no way he could have figured it out.
No way.
My secret was still safe.
My son was still untouchable.
There was just no evidence for Levi to find. There weren’t even whispers or popular speculation to support his unspoken theory. I hadn’t said a word to anybody in seven years. And I certainly wasn’t going to give Levi the satisfaction of spilling my soul now. No matter what he thought he knew, he didn’t know anything. Not a damn thing.
Not a damn thing, I repeated to my heart that hadn’t gotten the message it was okay to relax now.
Max smiled at me. “Is Dane my name?”
Letting out a resigned sigh, I said, “Yep. Maxwell Dane Dawson. That’s your whole name.”
His grin stretched. “I like it.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “I like it too.”
“I like that guy,” he chirped happily. “He’s funny.”
On that we disagreed. There was absolutely nothing funny about Levi or his sudden reappearance and meddling in my life. His attempted resurrection of the past would bring serious trouble into my otherwise serene, if not mildly struggling, existence. He needed to back off and find someone else to bother. I planned to talk to RJ all right, planned to give him the go ahead for the surgical removal of Levi’s balls.
I led the way back to our home while Max continued to jump over puddles and swing his make-believe lightsaber. We finished the night with a supper of microwave popcorn and banana splits while we watched a Netflix new release. Not my finest parenting moment, but necessary therapy all the same. Max loved it. And my frayed nerves and panicked heart felt temporarily soothed.
Still, I couldn’t shake the realization that Levi Cole was going to cause me trouble. I should have known. I should have even expected it, given our tumultuous past. And yet hope and seven years of separation had given me the false impression he had moved on.
No, that was a lie. And I couldn’t lie to myself.
It was the kiss. That damn kiss from all those years ago. It had made me believe he cared about me, that he wanted something more than to pick on me.
I had been wrong.
He wasn’t done picking on me or picking apart the careful life I’d carved out for myself and my son. And if I didn’t nip this in the bud, he was going to continue picking on me until everything unraveled. In the worst way.
11
Crafty Coercion
“Welcome!” Jamie squealed as she flung the front door open for us. “We’re so excited you’re here!” Harper half-hid behind her long legs, smiling at Max. She reached one hand out and waved at him and I decided she was maybe the cutest thing on the entire planet with her soft brown ringlet curls and perfectly pert nose—after Max, of course.
“He doesn’t have a middle name?”
“No.”
“His name is Max Dawson?”
“Yep.”
“That’s it?”
“Stop judging me. God, Levi, what’s it to you what his middle name is?” My anger was defensive and obvious. I reminded my body to play it cool, but I couldn’t help but rip my hands away from him and take a step back. Obvious much, Ruby? I would have rolled my eyes at myself if Levi would have given me a break and stopped glaring at me.
But when he did, he made everything so much worse. “Max, is that true? You don’t have a middle name?”
He raised his eyebrows and stopped jumping over puddles in order to ask, “What’s a middle name?”
A big breath of relief wanted to push out of my chest, but I held it back.
Levi smiled at him. “What’s the name your mom calls you when she’s mad at you? Like my mom always yells at me, Levi Richard Cole. And then I know I’m in big trouble because she used all three of my names.”
Max laughed at Levi’s dramatic story and then thought about what I called him when I was angry. Finally, he admitted, “Maxwell. She always calls me Maxwell.” Before I could totally relax though, he shook his finger at the ground and said in a voice I could only imagine was a high-pitched impression of mine, “Stop that right this second, Maxwell Dane Dawson.”
Levi’s gaze snapped upward and found mine immediately.
“It was my grandfather’s name,” I rushed to say. “Dane. It’s my grandfather’s name.”
That wasn’t true. My grandfather’s name was Dave. Dane was Logan’s middle name. It was a fact I knew from Spanish 1. I’d always loved the name. I thought it had sounded strong and sophisticated. It was a gift I’d wanted to give my son from his father.
“You just lied to me,” Levi stated impatiently.
My face flushed, and I desperately wanted to crawl into a hole and shrivel into a Ruby raisin. “Why do you even care? It’s weird you want to know his middle name. I’m allowed to protect my son from nosy strangers.”
He stood there staring at me, obviously chewing over my accusations. His face was an unreadable mask, emotions flickering too quickly for me to grasp any of them. Finally, he asked, “Your mom’s dad?”
“Yeah. He was around when I was little,” I explained, settling more comfortably in the truth part of the lie. “He meant a lot to me.”
“That’s Logan’s middle name.”
“I know,” I whispered, still unable to look at him.
“If you knew, why didn’t you just tell me?”
I looked to my left, desperate to break Levi’s intent gaze. “Your brother and I were friends once upon a time. I know you miss him. I just… it felt too weird to say his name out loud.”
He nodded, accepting my answer. His focus traveled back to Max. “I’ll bring a real lightsaber next time for you, Max. Or at least the movies. I’ll show you the awesomeness that is Luke Skywalker.”
“Okay!” Max answered with a huge smile on his face. “Next time.”
It was everything I could do not to kick Levi in the shins and throw Max in our double wide, locking every single window and door possible.
Something shifted in Levi. It wasn’t like he relaxed, but he mellowed somehow, or at least pretended to. His grin was all easy going and friendly, but I saw the stern set of his jaw and the feral power shimmering beneath the surface. He might have been able to see right through me, but I saw him too.
“Bye, Max,” he said casually. Turning to me, he pinned me in place with an expression that was the opposite of how he looked at Max. It was fire and brimstone and keen intuition. I wanted to point out to him that I knew he wasn’t as relaxed as he put on, that I was right, that he couldn’t hide from me either. But I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t going to feed the fire of his suspicions. Or admit that I couldn’t stop watching him, not even after all these years. “See you later, Ruby,” he bit out, all pretense of polite conversation gone. “Don’t forget to talk to RJ.”
“No promises,” I mumbled, barely holding myself up under the weight of his glare. My organs and bones started shrinking inside me, my courage wilting, my tenacity packing up and fleeing town.
His eyes narrowed into a furious scowl. “Probably doesn’t matter. Not even RJ can save your lying ass now.”
He sauntered off like he hadn’t just threatened me or turned my entire world upside down. I watched his retreating form as the casual aloofness settled in his shoulders. I didn’t know whether to tackle him, drag him back to my place and keep him captive for the next twelve years or shrug him off and stop giving into my paranoia.
There was no way he could have figured it out.
No way.
My secret was still safe.
My son was still untouchable.
There was just no evidence for Levi to find. There weren’t even whispers or popular speculation to support his unspoken theory. I hadn’t said a word to anybody in seven years. And I certainly wasn’t going to give Levi the satisfaction of spilling my soul now. No matter what he thought he knew, he didn’t know anything. Not a damn thing.
Not a damn thing, I repeated to my heart that hadn’t gotten the message it was okay to relax now.
Max smiled at me. “Is Dane my name?”
Letting out a resigned sigh, I said, “Yep. Maxwell Dane Dawson. That’s your whole name.”
His grin stretched. “I like it.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “I like it too.”
“I like that guy,” he chirped happily. “He’s funny.”
On that we disagreed. There was absolutely nothing funny about Levi or his sudden reappearance and meddling in my life. His attempted resurrection of the past would bring serious trouble into my otherwise serene, if not mildly struggling, existence. He needed to back off and find someone else to bother. I planned to talk to RJ all right, planned to give him the go ahead for the surgical removal of Levi’s balls.
I led the way back to our home while Max continued to jump over puddles and swing his make-believe lightsaber. We finished the night with a supper of microwave popcorn and banana splits while we watched a Netflix new release. Not my finest parenting moment, but necessary therapy all the same. Max loved it. And my frayed nerves and panicked heart felt temporarily soothed.
Still, I couldn’t shake the realization that Levi Cole was going to cause me trouble. I should have known. I should have even expected it, given our tumultuous past. And yet hope and seven years of separation had given me the false impression he had moved on.
No, that was a lie. And I couldn’t lie to myself.
It was the kiss. That damn kiss from all those years ago. It had made me believe he cared about me, that he wanted something more than to pick on me.
I had been wrong.
He wasn’t done picking on me or picking apart the careful life I’d carved out for myself and my son. And if I didn’t nip this in the bud, he was going to continue picking on me until everything unraveled. In the worst way.
11
Crafty Coercion
“Welcome!” Jamie squealed as she flung the front door open for us. “We’re so excited you’re here!” Harper half-hid behind her long legs, smiling at Max. She reached one hand out and waved at him and I decided she was maybe the cutest thing on the entire planet with her soft brown ringlet curls and perfectly pert nose—after Max, of course.
