Trailer Park Heart
Page 65
Sometimes my mom was there, sometimes she had to work. She didn’t contribute a lot either way. But she usually got him one decent present that added to the day.
It wasn’t a lot, but it was ours. And I loved our lazy day of lounging in our pajamas and munching on Christmas candy until we felt sick.
Now Darcy wanted me to share that with her?
Again, it felt strange, but that didn’t mean it was bad. And what had Levi said? I couldn’t cower forever.
For Max, I could step outside my comfort zone and try something new. If I didn’t like how this morning went, we didn’t have to do it next year. I could make something up or be straight-up honest with her that we had our own thing Christmas morning.
Until then, I had to face this morning.
We’d done everything we usually did, except this morning, after Max was done opening his gifts from me, I made him get dressed instead of making him breakfast. He knew we were headed over to Rich and Darcy’s so he didn’t even complain.
Their house was beautiful this morning. The tasteful Christmas lights and mounds of white snow packed against their house made it look like it belonged in a snow globe. It didn’t always snow over Christmas, but I loved when it did. This year, we’d been blessed with mountains of snow and especially cold weather.
I wasn’t going to complain though. The weather only added to the magic in my opinion.
“Where’s your coat?” Rich asked as we shook off our boots just inside their door.
My blush warmed my frozen cheeks. “Oh, I have one in the car. I just hate wearing it.”
“It’s miserable out there!” Rich exclaimed. “But at least it’s in the car. I would hate for you to break down in this weather and freeze to death.”
I blinked at him. “Me too.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” he scolded. “It can happen. You wouldn’t believe how many cars break down in this weather. Good cars even. It’s too cold for anyone to be safe from this. Do you have gloves in your car?” I was a little freaked out by his warning so all I could do was shake my head no. “Scarves? Snow pants? Candles? A weather radio? Blankets?”
“No, I don’t even own most of that stuff.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. “Are you sure you’re from Nebraska?”
“Uh…”
“I’m just teasing.” He smiled widely, reminding me so much of Levi. “I’ll put a cold weather car bag together for you. I’m sure we have almost all of that stuff lying around somewhere.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. And besides, I want to. Better to be safe than get caught off guard.”
“O-Okay.”
“Dad, stop harassing Ruby.”
Rich turned around and shot a sheepish grin at his son. “You have your cold weather kit in your truck, don’t you?”
Levi nodded patiently. “And we’ll send Ruby home with one but let her in the door first.”
“Oh, right,” Rich murmured, stepping out of the way for us.
“You’re here!” Darcy cheered as she rounded the corner with two mugs of coffee in her hands. “This is for you,” she told me. “Levi says, you need creamer. I hope I didn’t put in too much. He just said you prefer it the color of sand.”
I looked into the cup and smiled. It was perfect. “Maybe not quite sand,” I said. “But this looks great.”
She smiled proudly and then turned to Max. “And for you I have hot chocolate. Does that sound good?”
He nodded excitedly. “Okay, follow me. We’ll have some pancakes and eggs and then we’ll see what Santa brought us.”
“Santa comes to your house too?” Max asked, trailing after her into the kitchen. “You don’t have any kids here. Mom says Santa only comes for kids and that’s why she never gets any presents.”
Darcy sent me a knowing look over her shoulder and I tried to will myself invisible, but it didn’t work. “I sent him a letter telling him I just discovered you were my grandson. And I asked him to come specifically for you. Guess what?”
I heard his curious, “What?”
“He did come. And I think he felt bad for missing so many Christmases from years past, because he brought way too much stuff!”
Even Max sounded skeptical when he asked in a careful voice, “He did?”
Darcy’s voice dropped to serious. “Maybe not too much. Maybe he brought just the right amount.” She started moving things around the kitchen, but my feet seemed frozen in place in the entryway. I didn’t want to be brave for this. I wanted to grab Max and run.
This was what I was worried about. My eyes found the breathtaking real Christmas tree, decorated with a thousand twinkling lights and precious ornaments. It was packed with presents in all shapes and sizes. There was a bike with a bow leaned against the wall. A gigantic stuffed teddy bear cradled at least thirty big presents. I didn’t even know where that damn thing would go. It was bigger than my kitchen.
Max was going to take one look at all that these people could give him and beg to live here permanently. I would never be able to give him this stuff.
I would never have given it to him had I been able to. It was too much. Completely over the top. He wouldn’t even know what to do with half of it.
God, what was I thinking? Why were we here? We lived in a different world than these people. I’d had to save up all year long just so I could give him basic things. This year, I’d used the money from my tax return last year and splurged on a kid’s Kindle Fire. I knew he loved games that he could only play on Coco’s iPad.
But that would pale in comparison to everything he had here. Everything the Coles could give him and I could not.
“I told her she did too much,” Levi whispered, suddenly next to me. “I told her she was going to freak you out.”
“I’m not freaked out.”
He nudged me with his elbow. “You’re a little freaked out.”
“I just… I didn’t know people did Christmas like this. I mean, I’ve seen it in movies and magazines or whatever. I read about a crazy Christmas in a book once. But I’ve never seen it in real life.” I whipped my head around to face him. “Is this what Christmas was like for you every year?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No. God, no. My parents never spoiled Logan and me like this. I mean, we had good Christmases… but nothing like this.”
That made me feel a little bit better. “What is the point of that King-Kong-size bear? She doesn’t expect me to take that home, does she? It won’t even fit in my car. How would I even get it in the house? I’m afraid it’s going to come alive and eat us in our sleep.”
His head tipped back and the sound of his deep, rumbly laugh soothed the frayed and frantic pieces of me. He was the giant bear. Metaphorically of course. But he was like that larger than life cuddly stuffed animal. I just wanted to crawl into his lap and take a nap.
“She’s turning part of the basement into a playroom for him,” he explained. “Most of the stuff here is for that. She was worried he would get bored over here.”
I snorted. “Talk about irrational fears.” Damn. I wanted to slap my hand over my mouth. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Er...”
“About that,” Levi interrupted, not shying away from the topic at all. “I’ve been meaning to apologize for what I said to you the other night.”
It wasn’t a lot, but it was ours. And I loved our lazy day of lounging in our pajamas and munching on Christmas candy until we felt sick.
Now Darcy wanted me to share that with her?
Again, it felt strange, but that didn’t mean it was bad. And what had Levi said? I couldn’t cower forever.
For Max, I could step outside my comfort zone and try something new. If I didn’t like how this morning went, we didn’t have to do it next year. I could make something up or be straight-up honest with her that we had our own thing Christmas morning.
Until then, I had to face this morning.
We’d done everything we usually did, except this morning, after Max was done opening his gifts from me, I made him get dressed instead of making him breakfast. He knew we were headed over to Rich and Darcy’s so he didn’t even complain.
Their house was beautiful this morning. The tasteful Christmas lights and mounds of white snow packed against their house made it look like it belonged in a snow globe. It didn’t always snow over Christmas, but I loved when it did. This year, we’d been blessed with mountains of snow and especially cold weather.
I wasn’t going to complain though. The weather only added to the magic in my opinion.
“Where’s your coat?” Rich asked as we shook off our boots just inside their door.
My blush warmed my frozen cheeks. “Oh, I have one in the car. I just hate wearing it.”
“It’s miserable out there!” Rich exclaimed. “But at least it’s in the car. I would hate for you to break down in this weather and freeze to death.”
I blinked at him. “Me too.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” he scolded. “It can happen. You wouldn’t believe how many cars break down in this weather. Good cars even. It’s too cold for anyone to be safe from this. Do you have gloves in your car?” I was a little freaked out by his warning so all I could do was shake my head no. “Scarves? Snow pants? Candles? A weather radio? Blankets?”
“No, I don’t even own most of that stuff.”
He made a sound in the back of his throat. “Are you sure you’re from Nebraska?”
“Uh…”
“I’m just teasing.” He smiled widely, reminding me so much of Levi. “I’ll put a cold weather car bag together for you. I’m sure we have almost all of that stuff lying around somewhere.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do. And besides, I want to. Better to be safe than get caught off guard.”
“O-Okay.”
“Dad, stop harassing Ruby.”
Rich turned around and shot a sheepish grin at his son. “You have your cold weather kit in your truck, don’t you?”
Levi nodded patiently. “And we’ll send Ruby home with one but let her in the door first.”
“Oh, right,” Rich murmured, stepping out of the way for us.
“You’re here!” Darcy cheered as she rounded the corner with two mugs of coffee in her hands. “This is for you,” she told me. “Levi says, you need creamer. I hope I didn’t put in too much. He just said you prefer it the color of sand.”
I looked into the cup and smiled. It was perfect. “Maybe not quite sand,” I said. “But this looks great.”
She smiled proudly and then turned to Max. “And for you I have hot chocolate. Does that sound good?”
He nodded excitedly. “Okay, follow me. We’ll have some pancakes and eggs and then we’ll see what Santa brought us.”
“Santa comes to your house too?” Max asked, trailing after her into the kitchen. “You don’t have any kids here. Mom says Santa only comes for kids and that’s why she never gets any presents.”
Darcy sent me a knowing look over her shoulder and I tried to will myself invisible, but it didn’t work. “I sent him a letter telling him I just discovered you were my grandson. And I asked him to come specifically for you. Guess what?”
I heard his curious, “What?”
“He did come. And I think he felt bad for missing so many Christmases from years past, because he brought way too much stuff!”
Even Max sounded skeptical when he asked in a careful voice, “He did?”
Darcy’s voice dropped to serious. “Maybe not too much. Maybe he brought just the right amount.” She started moving things around the kitchen, but my feet seemed frozen in place in the entryway. I didn’t want to be brave for this. I wanted to grab Max and run.
This was what I was worried about. My eyes found the breathtaking real Christmas tree, decorated with a thousand twinkling lights and precious ornaments. It was packed with presents in all shapes and sizes. There was a bike with a bow leaned against the wall. A gigantic stuffed teddy bear cradled at least thirty big presents. I didn’t even know where that damn thing would go. It was bigger than my kitchen.
Max was going to take one look at all that these people could give him and beg to live here permanently. I would never be able to give him this stuff.
I would never have given it to him had I been able to. It was too much. Completely over the top. He wouldn’t even know what to do with half of it.
God, what was I thinking? Why were we here? We lived in a different world than these people. I’d had to save up all year long just so I could give him basic things. This year, I’d used the money from my tax return last year and splurged on a kid’s Kindle Fire. I knew he loved games that he could only play on Coco’s iPad.
But that would pale in comparison to everything he had here. Everything the Coles could give him and I could not.
“I told her she did too much,” Levi whispered, suddenly next to me. “I told her she was going to freak you out.”
“I’m not freaked out.”
He nudged me with his elbow. “You’re a little freaked out.”
“I just… I didn’t know people did Christmas like this. I mean, I’ve seen it in movies and magazines or whatever. I read about a crazy Christmas in a book once. But I’ve never seen it in real life.” I whipped my head around to face him. “Is this what Christmas was like for you every year?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No. God, no. My parents never spoiled Logan and me like this. I mean, we had good Christmases… but nothing like this.”
That made me feel a little bit better. “What is the point of that King-Kong-size bear? She doesn’t expect me to take that home, does she? It won’t even fit in my car. How would I even get it in the house? I’m afraid it’s going to come alive and eat us in our sleep.”
His head tipped back and the sound of his deep, rumbly laugh soothed the frayed and frantic pieces of me. He was the giant bear. Metaphorically of course. But he was like that larger than life cuddly stuffed animal. I just wanted to crawl into his lap and take a nap.
“She’s turning part of the basement into a playroom for him,” he explained. “Most of the stuff here is for that. She was worried he would get bored over here.”
I snorted. “Talk about irrational fears.” Damn. I wanted to slap my hand over my mouth. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Er...”
“About that,” Levi interrupted, not shying away from the topic at all. “I’ve been meaning to apologize for what I said to you the other night.”
