White Trash Beautiful
Page 26
“It will be fine. I promise. I will be in and out in five minutes. He doesn’t even know about us.” I leaned in and pressed my lips against Tucker’s cheek, lingering for a few extra seconds. “I’ll be okay. I’ve done this since I met you.”
“Five minutes or I’m coming to find you, sweetheart.” He was serious and there was no point in trying to convince him otherwise. I nodded and made my way through the fence. I glanced over my shoulder to see Tucker staring at me before taking a few steps back and heading for the door of the diner.
This was it. My life was changing, and in the instant it took to blink, it would all be different. I took a deep breath and pulled open the door to the trailer.
The living room was empty and the only sound came from the television. I let out a sigh of relief at the anticlimactic ending to my struggles. All of the lights were off, but as the lightning struck, I could see perfectly down the narrow hallway. I sidestepped around the bucket and gripped the doorknob to my bedroom. I pushed it open just as lightning flashed again, followed by a loud crack of thunder. Jackson sat on my bed. It was the only thing not overturned and torn apart in my room. My dresser lay on its side, the drawers falling out and the contents spilled onto the floor. My closet doors were ripped off their tracks and lay on the opposite side of the room. My beautiful dresses lay in rags, strewn across the debris of what used to be my entire world. It looked as if a tornado had selectively touched down in my room. That tornado was staring straight at me.
“Where the f**k have you been?” His voice was low and menacing. His eyes slowly rose to meet mine.
I tried to speak, but my throat swelled shut in fear. Jackson stood and stepped close enough that I could smell the liquor on his breath. I closed my eyes and summoned all of my strength to face him one last time.
“Before you f**king lie, I went to the diner and I also had a few words with your worthless mother.” He eyed me with disgust. “I know you lied about where you were the other night, you f**king whore.”
My eyes shot open as all of my secrets poured out. I flinched at the words. They’d never hurt me before. I realized after the last few days I had actually begun to doubt they were true.
“You’ve been lying a lot lately.” He smiled, and it sent a chill down my spine.
“Fuck you,” I choked out.
The first blow landed on the side of my face. I couldn’t tell if lightning flashed or if my vision was suffering. A hot blast of pain knocked me sideways, and I hit the wall behind me. I grabbed my face, hoping to protect myself from the next hit. It was no use. The next blow was from his closed fist into my stomach. I fell backward and curled into a ball, gasping for air. I couldn’t breathe. I struggled to suck in a breath as his foot came down hard on my hip.
“How could you do this to me?” he screamed, hovering over me with reddened eyes.
I reached for him, begging for his help as I finally managed to inhale.
He knocked my hand away in disgust. “This is all your fault! I didn’t want it to come to this.” He ran his hands through his hair angrily.
“Jax, please don’t do this. Please, I’m sorry.”
He looked at me with pain in his eyes and shook his head. “It’s too late.” He was calm, and that scared me more than his shouting.
He bent over me, fisting my shirt in his hands, and pulled my body from the ground as he leaned in closer. “All of this is your fault.” He dropped my body back down and swung with a closed fist. His hand connected with my temple, and the world spun on its axis as my body absorbed the blow. “I loved you,” he sobbed.
I cried, wailing as the pain took over. I gave up in that moment, just wanting it all to end. If I didn’t make it out of that trailer, I wanted it all to end quickly.
“Say something!” he yelled as anger took over. I covered my face with my arms to shield myself.
“Get it over with,” I moaned as I stared up at him.
He laughed and shook his head. “Your mother didn’t even give up this easily.”
Panic washed over me as the will to fight intensified. What have I done?
I scrambled out of the room on my hands and knees toward my mother’s room. Jackson was behind me as I pushed open her door. He grabbed my hair and jerked my head back hard. My mother’s bloody and beaten body came into view. She lay sprawled across the floor, her eyes fixed on nothing, unseeing.
“Oh, God! Jackson!” I screamed. His fingers released me and I scrambled to my mother’s side, pushing her onto her back.
“Mom!” I clawed at her shirt, desperate to wake her. I placed my cheek over her face, hoping to hear her breathing, but my head was spinning from the pain that Jax had inflicted upon me. I placed my mouth over my mother’s and pinched her nose shut. I tried to breathe life back into her as I began to hyperventilate. “Mama!” I clung to her lifeless body, praying away my life for hers. “You can’t,” I sobbed as my fingers uncurled from the blood-soaked fabric of her shirt. “You can’t leave me, Mom! Oh, God! What have you done?” My fingers were stained with my mother’s blood, and I rubbed them over my own clothes, desperate to remove any trace of it.
“You thought I was gonna just let you walk away, Cass?” His foot drew back and he kicked me hard in the back. My spine jerked straight and I fell to the floor at my mother’s feet. I screamed in agony as I tried to curl into a ball and protect myself. It wasn’t the first time Jackson had hit me, but this time I had infuriated him and unleashed the monster that had lain just below the surface inside him all these years. I didn’t know how far he would go, or if he would make good on his promise to end my misery for me. I had to protect my baby at any cost. I tried to push to my hands and knees again, scanning the floor for my phone. Jackson just laughed at my sobbing.
“Looking for this?” He tossed the phone onto the floor. I scrambled for it and flipped it open, praying I could stop my fingers from shaking long enough to dial Tucker’s number.
“Who is he, Cass? That f**king prick from the diner? I’ll f**king kill him.” Another kick. This one hitting me in the back of my thighs, sending the phone sliding across the floor into a sticky pool of blood.
“No one,” I screamed as I tried desperately to protect myself.
His blows stopped, but I didn’t dare try to look to see what he was doing. I had made that mistake before. You don’t ever leave your face open. Last time, I’d walked around with a bruised and swollen cheek for three weeks.
His hand twisted in my hair as he pulled me to my feet. The pain from my back shot through my body as I tried to steady myself. How long had I been here? My mind raced as I tried to count the minutes. It felt like an eternity. Tucker should be coming to look for me soon. I wasn’t sure it would be soon enough. Crippling pain radiated from my stomach and into my aching chest.
His face pressed against my cheek as he whispered in my ear, “You want to act like a whore? I will treat you like a whore.”
I wanted to vomit. I stumbled and tripped over my feet as he dragged me back to my room. My head was swimming in pain and my eyes were blurred by my tears.
“No! No!” My hands flew up to his as I clawed at him, trying to free myself. He laughed as he shoved me into the room. I kicked and bucked, desperate to get free.
He finally let go of my hair and I fell against the edge of my bed onto the floor. I quickly got to my feet and dashed for my dresser, grabbing in my arms my father’s bear that lay against the wall. I needed to leave, go anywhere but here.
Jackson cocked his head to the side and smiled. “That bear won’t protect you . . . just like your father didn’t protect you from the guys your whore of a mother brought in here.”
My blood was boiling now. I narrowed my eyes at him as I squeezed the bear to my chest. I just had to get past him. If I could get out the door, I could outrun him.
“That was another secret you were hiding from me.” His eyes glanced to the bear and he took a step closer. Jackson let out another sadistic laugh as he quickly closed the gap between us. His arms wrapped around my waist as he lifted me and threw me on the bed. I landed hard on my sore back, his body crashing on top of mine.
I beat against his chest with my fists, trying to pull my knees up between us. “I hate you!” I clenched my teeth as I struggled to fight him off. His hands found my wrists and he pinned my hands above my head with one hand. His smacked me hard across the face, and my mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood.
“Good.” He slipped his hand between us and hiked up my shirt.
“Help!” I screamed.
Jackson stilled for a second, listening before smiling down at me. “No one is going to help you, Cass.”
I pulled one of my hands free and struck him as hard as I could across the face. My palm burned from the harsh contact. Every ounce of rage and pain I had was in that hit. Jackson slowly looked back to me, a small trickle of blood oozing from his lower lip. His free hand shot up to my throat, gripping it painfully tight. I kicked and tried to fight against him, desperate for air. His eyes locked onto mine as he ground his hips into mine. His other hand tugged at my shorts, the material digging into my flesh as he yanked.
“Worthless f**king whore,” he snarled as his grip tightened again.
I could feel my face cooling from the lack of blood flow. I wasn’t scared to die, to end the pain, but I couldn’t leave this world looking into Jackson’s eyes.
A loud banging came from the front of the house. Tucker had come. He had come to save me. Jackson’s eyes fixed on mine for a minute and I prayed he wouldn’t kill me before I could see Tucker.
“Looks like the fun is over.” Jackson kissed me on the cheek and lifted his weight off my body. I desperately tried to catch my breath as he stumbled out of my room. I could hear the front door open, banging off the wall outside.
“Where the f**k is Cass?” I heard Tucker yell.
I wanted to run to him but my body was too weak and the pain too great.
“Why the f**k do you care?” Jackson snarled.
His words were immediately followed by a loud crack. I prayed that it was Jackson taking the blows, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Because I love her, you piece of shit.”
Jackson laughed, and there was another loud bang off the side of the trailer.
“She’s all yours, what’s left of her. I hope you don’t mind if I took her for one last ride,” Jackson spat back.
I crawled my way down the hall, ignoring the agonizing pain that shot through my stomach and what seemed like every nerve ending in my body. My hands and knees sloshed in the water as I knocked over the bucket that caught the rainwater.
“Confess your sins and be washed clean by the love of Christ.”
I pulled the front door open in time to see Tucker c**k back his fist and land a hard blow to Jackson’s nose. Blood spurted from his nose, coating his shirt, and spraying onto Tucker. I was shocked that there was so much.
Jackson swung wildly but was unable to land a blow. Tucker stepped forward and grabbed Jackson by the collar of his shirt and brought his knee into Jax’s stomach. He made a deep, guttural groan as the wind was knocked out of him.
“Not so easy fighting someone your own size, is it?” Tucker taunted him.
“Fuck you!” Jax panted.
“This is for all of the times you hurt her. For all of the times I wasn’t here to protect her from you.” Tucker brought his elbow down into Jackson’s back, forcing him to his knees. He struggled to get back to his feet, and Tucker stepped back to let him. It was like watching a cat toy with a mouse. Not a side I ever expected to see from Tucker.
Jackson managed to make it to his feet, but he swayed as he struggled to keep his balance.
“I will f**king kill you!” Tucker was seething, and I knew he meant what he said. His arm came back again and Jackson didn’t even put his hands up to block him.
“Stop,” I screamed. There had been enough death and enough sadness for one day. I couldn’t witness any more.
Tucker spun around. His eyes grew large when he saw me on the floor, battered and bruised.
“Oh, God! Cass!” He rushed to me and picked me up in his arms like a baby.
As soon as I was safe against his chest, I began to sob uncontrollably.
“It’s okay. You’re safe now.” He ran his hands over my hair soothingly as he squeezed me painfully tight. My whole body ached.
“My mother . . .” I pulled back from him to look in his eyes. He pushed my face back into the crook of his neck.
“Shh . . .” He carried me across the room and sat me gently on the couch to look me over. “I’ll go find her.”
“No!” I clawed at his shirt, desperate to keep him by my side. “Don’t go back there.”
“It’s okay, Cass. I won’t leave you.”
More waves of pain shot through my body. His hand splayed across my belly, and I glanced down to my thighs and saw that they were now tinged red with blood. His gaze followed mine.
The pain and sadness in his eyes were enough to kill me. I should never have come back alone. I should have never lied and kept secrets from Jax. Now my baby and my mother had paid the price. I realized Jackson’s leaving me alive was the ultimate punishment. I would live with the guilt of their deaths for the rest of my life. Any pain I suffered I deserved and would endure.
I couldn’t look Tucker in the eyes for the rest of my life knowing what I had put him through. I made my mind up then and there that I had to save him from me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
TUCKER NEVER LEFT my side. I faded in and out of consciousness until the muffled sounds of sirens filled my ears. Tucker carried me out to the ambulance and placed me on the gurney.
“Five minutes or I’m coming to find you, sweetheart.” He was serious and there was no point in trying to convince him otherwise. I nodded and made my way through the fence. I glanced over my shoulder to see Tucker staring at me before taking a few steps back and heading for the door of the diner.
This was it. My life was changing, and in the instant it took to blink, it would all be different. I took a deep breath and pulled open the door to the trailer.
The living room was empty and the only sound came from the television. I let out a sigh of relief at the anticlimactic ending to my struggles. All of the lights were off, but as the lightning struck, I could see perfectly down the narrow hallway. I sidestepped around the bucket and gripped the doorknob to my bedroom. I pushed it open just as lightning flashed again, followed by a loud crack of thunder. Jackson sat on my bed. It was the only thing not overturned and torn apart in my room. My dresser lay on its side, the drawers falling out and the contents spilled onto the floor. My closet doors were ripped off their tracks and lay on the opposite side of the room. My beautiful dresses lay in rags, strewn across the debris of what used to be my entire world. It looked as if a tornado had selectively touched down in my room. That tornado was staring straight at me.
“Where the f**k have you been?” His voice was low and menacing. His eyes slowly rose to meet mine.
I tried to speak, but my throat swelled shut in fear. Jackson stood and stepped close enough that I could smell the liquor on his breath. I closed my eyes and summoned all of my strength to face him one last time.
“Before you f**king lie, I went to the diner and I also had a few words with your worthless mother.” He eyed me with disgust. “I know you lied about where you were the other night, you f**king whore.”
My eyes shot open as all of my secrets poured out. I flinched at the words. They’d never hurt me before. I realized after the last few days I had actually begun to doubt they were true.
“You’ve been lying a lot lately.” He smiled, and it sent a chill down my spine.
“Fuck you,” I choked out.
The first blow landed on the side of my face. I couldn’t tell if lightning flashed or if my vision was suffering. A hot blast of pain knocked me sideways, and I hit the wall behind me. I grabbed my face, hoping to protect myself from the next hit. It was no use. The next blow was from his closed fist into my stomach. I fell backward and curled into a ball, gasping for air. I couldn’t breathe. I struggled to suck in a breath as his foot came down hard on my hip.
“How could you do this to me?” he screamed, hovering over me with reddened eyes.
I reached for him, begging for his help as I finally managed to inhale.
He knocked my hand away in disgust. “This is all your fault! I didn’t want it to come to this.” He ran his hands through his hair angrily.
“Jax, please don’t do this. Please, I’m sorry.”
He looked at me with pain in his eyes and shook his head. “It’s too late.” He was calm, and that scared me more than his shouting.
He bent over me, fisting my shirt in his hands, and pulled my body from the ground as he leaned in closer. “All of this is your fault.” He dropped my body back down and swung with a closed fist. His hand connected with my temple, and the world spun on its axis as my body absorbed the blow. “I loved you,” he sobbed.
I cried, wailing as the pain took over. I gave up in that moment, just wanting it all to end. If I didn’t make it out of that trailer, I wanted it all to end quickly.
“Say something!” he yelled as anger took over. I covered my face with my arms to shield myself.
“Get it over with,” I moaned as I stared up at him.
He laughed and shook his head. “Your mother didn’t even give up this easily.”
Panic washed over me as the will to fight intensified. What have I done?
I scrambled out of the room on my hands and knees toward my mother’s room. Jackson was behind me as I pushed open her door. He grabbed my hair and jerked my head back hard. My mother’s bloody and beaten body came into view. She lay sprawled across the floor, her eyes fixed on nothing, unseeing.
“Oh, God! Jackson!” I screamed. His fingers released me and I scrambled to my mother’s side, pushing her onto her back.
“Mom!” I clawed at her shirt, desperate to wake her. I placed my cheek over her face, hoping to hear her breathing, but my head was spinning from the pain that Jax had inflicted upon me. I placed my mouth over my mother’s and pinched her nose shut. I tried to breathe life back into her as I began to hyperventilate. “Mama!” I clung to her lifeless body, praying away my life for hers. “You can’t,” I sobbed as my fingers uncurled from the blood-soaked fabric of her shirt. “You can’t leave me, Mom! Oh, God! What have you done?” My fingers were stained with my mother’s blood, and I rubbed them over my own clothes, desperate to remove any trace of it.
“You thought I was gonna just let you walk away, Cass?” His foot drew back and he kicked me hard in the back. My spine jerked straight and I fell to the floor at my mother’s feet. I screamed in agony as I tried to curl into a ball and protect myself. It wasn’t the first time Jackson had hit me, but this time I had infuriated him and unleashed the monster that had lain just below the surface inside him all these years. I didn’t know how far he would go, or if he would make good on his promise to end my misery for me. I had to protect my baby at any cost. I tried to push to my hands and knees again, scanning the floor for my phone. Jackson just laughed at my sobbing.
“Looking for this?” He tossed the phone onto the floor. I scrambled for it and flipped it open, praying I could stop my fingers from shaking long enough to dial Tucker’s number.
“Who is he, Cass? That f**king prick from the diner? I’ll f**king kill him.” Another kick. This one hitting me in the back of my thighs, sending the phone sliding across the floor into a sticky pool of blood.
“No one,” I screamed as I tried desperately to protect myself.
His blows stopped, but I didn’t dare try to look to see what he was doing. I had made that mistake before. You don’t ever leave your face open. Last time, I’d walked around with a bruised and swollen cheek for three weeks.
His hand twisted in my hair as he pulled me to my feet. The pain from my back shot through my body as I tried to steady myself. How long had I been here? My mind raced as I tried to count the minutes. It felt like an eternity. Tucker should be coming to look for me soon. I wasn’t sure it would be soon enough. Crippling pain radiated from my stomach and into my aching chest.
His face pressed against my cheek as he whispered in my ear, “You want to act like a whore? I will treat you like a whore.”
I wanted to vomit. I stumbled and tripped over my feet as he dragged me back to my room. My head was swimming in pain and my eyes were blurred by my tears.
“No! No!” My hands flew up to his as I clawed at him, trying to free myself. He laughed as he shoved me into the room. I kicked and bucked, desperate to get free.
He finally let go of my hair and I fell against the edge of my bed onto the floor. I quickly got to my feet and dashed for my dresser, grabbing in my arms my father’s bear that lay against the wall. I needed to leave, go anywhere but here.
Jackson cocked his head to the side and smiled. “That bear won’t protect you . . . just like your father didn’t protect you from the guys your whore of a mother brought in here.”
My blood was boiling now. I narrowed my eyes at him as I squeezed the bear to my chest. I just had to get past him. If I could get out the door, I could outrun him.
“That was another secret you were hiding from me.” His eyes glanced to the bear and he took a step closer. Jackson let out another sadistic laugh as he quickly closed the gap between us. His arms wrapped around my waist as he lifted me and threw me on the bed. I landed hard on my sore back, his body crashing on top of mine.
I beat against his chest with my fists, trying to pull my knees up between us. “I hate you!” I clenched my teeth as I struggled to fight him off. His hands found my wrists and he pinned my hands above my head with one hand. His smacked me hard across the face, and my mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood.
“Good.” He slipped his hand between us and hiked up my shirt.
“Help!” I screamed.
Jackson stilled for a second, listening before smiling down at me. “No one is going to help you, Cass.”
I pulled one of my hands free and struck him as hard as I could across the face. My palm burned from the harsh contact. Every ounce of rage and pain I had was in that hit. Jackson slowly looked back to me, a small trickle of blood oozing from his lower lip. His free hand shot up to my throat, gripping it painfully tight. I kicked and tried to fight against him, desperate for air. His eyes locked onto mine as he ground his hips into mine. His other hand tugged at my shorts, the material digging into my flesh as he yanked.
“Worthless f**king whore,” he snarled as his grip tightened again.
I could feel my face cooling from the lack of blood flow. I wasn’t scared to die, to end the pain, but I couldn’t leave this world looking into Jackson’s eyes.
A loud banging came from the front of the house. Tucker had come. He had come to save me. Jackson’s eyes fixed on mine for a minute and I prayed he wouldn’t kill me before I could see Tucker.
“Looks like the fun is over.” Jackson kissed me on the cheek and lifted his weight off my body. I desperately tried to catch my breath as he stumbled out of my room. I could hear the front door open, banging off the wall outside.
“Where the f**k is Cass?” I heard Tucker yell.
I wanted to run to him but my body was too weak and the pain too great.
“Why the f**k do you care?” Jackson snarled.
His words were immediately followed by a loud crack. I prayed that it was Jackson taking the blows, but I couldn’t be sure.
“Because I love her, you piece of shit.”
Jackson laughed, and there was another loud bang off the side of the trailer.
“She’s all yours, what’s left of her. I hope you don’t mind if I took her for one last ride,” Jackson spat back.
I crawled my way down the hall, ignoring the agonizing pain that shot through my stomach and what seemed like every nerve ending in my body. My hands and knees sloshed in the water as I knocked over the bucket that caught the rainwater.
“Confess your sins and be washed clean by the love of Christ.”
I pulled the front door open in time to see Tucker c**k back his fist and land a hard blow to Jackson’s nose. Blood spurted from his nose, coating his shirt, and spraying onto Tucker. I was shocked that there was so much.
Jackson swung wildly but was unable to land a blow. Tucker stepped forward and grabbed Jackson by the collar of his shirt and brought his knee into Jax’s stomach. He made a deep, guttural groan as the wind was knocked out of him.
“Not so easy fighting someone your own size, is it?” Tucker taunted him.
“Fuck you!” Jax panted.
“This is for all of the times you hurt her. For all of the times I wasn’t here to protect her from you.” Tucker brought his elbow down into Jackson’s back, forcing him to his knees. He struggled to get back to his feet, and Tucker stepped back to let him. It was like watching a cat toy with a mouse. Not a side I ever expected to see from Tucker.
Jackson managed to make it to his feet, but he swayed as he struggled to keep his balance.
“I will f**king kill you!” Tucker was seething, and I knew he meant what he said. His arm came back again and Jackson didn’t even put his hands up to block him.
“Stop,” I screamed. There had been enough death and enough sadness for one day. I couldn’t witness any more.
Tucker spun around. His eyes grew large when he saw me on the floor, battered and bruised.
“Oh, God! Cass!” He rushed to me and picked me up in his arms like a baby.
As soon as I was safe against his chest, I began to sob uncontrollably.
“It’s okay. You’re safe now.” He ran his hands over my hair soothingly as he squeezed me painfully tight. My whole body ached.
“My mother . . .” I pulled back from him to look in his eyes. He pushed my face back into the crook of his neck.
“Shh . . .” He carried me across the room and sat me gently on the couch to look me over. “I’ll go find her.”
“No!” I clawed at his shirt, desperate to keep him by my side. “Don’t go back there.”
“It’s okay, Cass. I won’t leave you.”
More waves of pain shot through my body. His hand splayed across my belly, and I glanced down to my thighs and saw that they were now tinged red with blood. His gaze followed mine.
The pain and sadness in his eyes were enough to kill me. I should never have come back alone. I should have never lied and kept secrets from Jax. Now my baby and my mother had paid the price. I realized Jackson’s leaving me alive was the ultimate punishment. I would live with the guilt of their deaths for the rest of my life. Any pain I suffered I deserved and would endure.
I couldn’t look Tucker in the eyes for the rest of my life knowing what I had put him through. I made my mind up then and there that I had to save him from me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
TUCKER NEVER LEFT my side. I faded in and out of consciousness until the muffled sounds of sirens filled my ears. Tucker carried me out to the ambulance and placed me on the gurney.
